Chapter 15
fifteen
Atlas would classify this as textbook masochism.
When he finally drags himself into the shower, leaving me free to wander down the hallway to the guest room… I’m not sure who I’m trying to punish. Myself? Him? The other omega?
It can’t be that last one. Violet is still utterly unconscious, sound asleep.
The fucking nerve.
Atlas and I spent months Mod-Podging our relationship back together after Blackwood Corp put it through the shredder. And in one goddamn second, this woman tore it all to pieces again.
How can she keep sleeping?
And why does she have to look so damn pretty while she does?
A shadow moves at the foot of the bed. I pause, fighting the immediate impulse to run. When I hear a quiet huff, I realize: it’s Ryker’s dog.
Which—wait. Ryker’s dog? What the hell is he doing in here?
Maximus usually sticks to Ryker’s shadow like he’ll evaporate if he leaves it. Why would he abandon him now? At a time like this?
The hulking creature doesn’t bother lifting his head as I edge into the room. My other packmates have to be careful around him—but, ironically, despite his owner’s disdain for me, Maximus has always treated me well.
I thought I was special. Now that I see him beside Violet’s borrowed bed, I think maybe he just likes omegas.
Figures.
The irony is too much for me. When he cracks one lazy eyelid open, I shoot him an outraged look, hissing, “You too, traitor?”
He sort of chuffs again, his nostrils flaring. I hate that I can’t blame him. She does smell fucking incredible. And I’m not even supposed to notice.
How desperate must the alphas be?
The thought sinks into my stomach like a hunk of lead, tumbling into the pile of similar weights piled there. Another wave of nausea overwhelms me. I grit my teeth, willing my Omega to stop his constant whining.
I know, I practically bark at him. I fucking hear you. But if you want me to keep hearing you, you have to shut up for a minute.
He knows I’m not above shutting him out again, the same way I used to. True fear skitters through my middle as he gags himself into silence.
Christ. Atlas would be so pissed.
I hate that it doesn’t matter anymore. Yesterday, finding a way for us to go public with my real designation and earning my alpha’s approval was the center of my universe. Now, the place that aches for his attention feels like a gaping hole.
Hollow. With frigid wind whipping at the edges.
I shouldn’t be surprised to find a chair in this room—or my alpha’s scent on it.
Finn’s, too. I bet they both sat vigil beside her bed before it became clear that she wasn’t going to wake up tonight.
Which would explain why someone hauled an antique seat up from the dining room.
It creaks when I drop into it, turning to face the woman who’s inadvertently made herself my rival.
My molars grind, but a beat of guilt pulses in my center.
This probably isn’t her fault.
If everything Briar said about her sister is true, Violet has been a victim of too many horrors to count. She likely survived because her Omega was willing to do anything to keep her safe, including hiding until she saw an opportunity to save Violet.
I know personally how difficult that is, if not impossible. I have no idea how the voice inside her managed to stifle itself for so long, but it would be impressive, under any other circumstances.
Even biting Atlas… If he’s correct, what she did was more a desperate bid for survival than anything romantic or nefarious.
The girl was dying.
And my alpha just happened to be her only available lifeline.
That isn’t the only reason she bit him, though. And it’s time for me to face the one simple truth at the heart of this whole, horrible tangle.
He’s her mate.
And she’s his.
They are mates.
I finally allow my eyes to fill, sniffling as I press my hands over my face. Tears wash down my clammy cheeks, catching in the five o’clock shadow stippling my jaw. Emotions break against the boulders stacked in my middle.
Disbelief, denial, grief. Rage, regret.
So much regret. Atlas begged me to bond with him for years. I always said no, putting him off. I doubted my ability to keep him—and didn’t trust his vows that he would never leave me for anyone else, not even a true scent-sensitive match.
Now he’s proven what he promised…
And it’s too late.
I’m too late.
I want to be angry at someone other than myself, but every time I run through all the available scenarios, I come to the same conclusion: Violet couldn’t have done anything to prevent this… and neither could Atlas.
Violet didn’t ask to be dragged out of her home, away from her sister. I’m sure she didn’t want to be locked in facilities and used as a guinea pig. And when her evil bastard of a father was through with her, I’m certain she wasn’t given any options, apart from death or withering in captivity.
She also didn’t ask to be forgotten when he died. She didn’t deserve to starve and fade into this frail, tattered shell. And she wasn’t the reason my packmates happened upon her, either.
That was all me.
Trying to earn back Cillian’s trust, trying to prove we could be loyal after years of mistakes that screwed him over.
Atlas went into that building to right my wrongs. No one else’s.
Violet was just… there. On the brink of death. Her Omega scented a mate and reacted. How can I blame this on her when I engineered the whole damn plan?
Plus, I had years to make sure this could never happen… and I never accepted Atlas’s bond.
She didn’t take it on purpose. For fuck’s sake, the poor thing is so weak, she can’t even wake up.
I don’t want to hate a sick, abused woman. But I might not have a choice, if I want to be able to keep living with myself.
Because, if I shoulder all this blame properly, how will I go on?
Leave? Find a new alpha?
God, I can’t even think about it. Everything inside me flares with panic and pain.
I love him. I can’t leave… and I can’t let her leave while it will hurt him.
I also can’t allow Cillian to catch wind of this until it’s resolved. My cousin may be coming around on his opinion of me and my pack, but he is notoriously ruthless for a reason. If it comes down to us versus them…
Or Atlas’s safety versus Violet’s freedom…
We’ll lose.
My hands fall from my wet face, landing limply in my lap. Maximus watches me, dark eyes glittering from the shadows. For a moment, I get why Ryker needs him around. I feel seen. Like there’s another beast in this universe who might understand how wretched I feel.
He slides his gaze to Violet next, pointed ears pricking like he’s waiting for something I can’t sense. An odd bolt of alarm pushes me to the edge of my seat.
Is she okay? Does she need help? I could—
What? I can’t do anything for her.
Why would I want to?
I can’t deny the buzz of urgency snapping over my skin, though. It forces me to bend forward. My chest expands reflexively as I try to get a better read on her scent and the flickers flitting over her features.
God, even gaunt and bone-pale, she really is gorgeous.
Bitch.
A pinch of guilt-tinged envy nips at my lungs as her scent rolls into them. Fuck me. It’s so good, even I react to it.
That’s never happened before. I’ve been around a lot of other omegas in various forms of therapy—not to mention Finn’s roster—but none of them ever had a scent that sparkled into my body like breathable champagne. Tingly and almost… euphoric.
I mean, come on. I already don’t have a prayer of competing with that. Does she have to look like a goddamn wet dream, too?
Apparently so. Because as she finally moves, shifting onto her side, long blonde hair falls over her slender shoulder—and her unrestrained breasts bounce together. Her nipples are hard, clearly visible under the lavender silk slip she arrived in.
My scent betrays me, veering away from burnt pecans, toward brown sugar. The shift is so slight, even I wouldn’t notice, if I didn’t also feel myself perfume with a rush of slick.
Small, fragile fingers suddenly land on the hand I left along the edge of the guest bed. My head snaps up as the other omega blinks and finally opens her eyes.