Chapter 17
seventeen
I have to go.
I’ll go.
Right now.
It doesn’t matter how many times the other omega explains our situation—that I bit his partner. How it can likely never be undone. And the fact that, now, he can never have a bond with his alpha… and the other alphas in their pack can only ever make a bond through me.
A girl his alpha doesn’t even want. Or like. Or know.
I’m horror-struck. But, more importantly, I’m an intruder.
“I’m so sorry,” I keep saying—sobbing—over and over. “I’ll get out of here and you two can—I’m so sorry. I never meant to bond with anyone, or bite your alpha, or—or—”
The man sitting across from me is unbearably handsome, even while frowning so deeply. He clearly never got undressed for bed. His shirt is wrinkled and half unbuttoned, but he still has his slacks and socks on. The argyle pattern on his feet swirls as my eyes cloud with fresh tears.
He might not be an alpha, but he’s stronger and bigger than any other omega I’ve ever met. Part of me braces through my long-winded apology, sure he’s just waiting for his moment to teach me a lesson. When he finally moves, I automatically flinch, cringing from the expected blow.
The man—Gideon, he said—freezes. Air audibly whistles out of his lungs as he watches me cower. Fire crackles in his colorless eyes, icy flames reflected in moonlit gray.
“I won’t hit you,” he grits, stepping back from my borrowed bed. “I would never hurt you. No one in this house will. I promise.”
He might think so, but I’ve been around enough alphas to know better. And none of them were furious with me for accidentally half-bonding them. Causing them pain.
I force my screaming limbs into motion, shoving the covers off and scoot to the edge of the mattress.
Yikes. Dizzy.
My head spins, but I still fumble for the floor, toeing it until I’m sure I won’t step on anything sharp. As soon as my soles find the creaky hardwood, Gideon appears at my side, bringing a strong waft of his burnt, nutty scent.
My lungs fill with his stress. The fog in my head gets thicker. I whine, flinching again, but Gideon’s outstretched hand doesn’t slap me. Instead, he steadies my shaking legs with an arm at my waist.
“Whoa,” he says, eyes flashing with genuine concern. “You shouldn’t be standing. You’re too weak. Let me call At—”
I can’t hear the alpha’s name again. Every time, another knife slips between my ribs. Slicing my heart and twisting between my lungs.
I have a mate.
And I hurt him.
Worse: I hurt someone he loves.
“I-I’m fine,” I stammer. “I just need to borrow some shoes, I think.”
Gideon seems to realize he’s helping me and abruptly drops his grip on my hip, stepping away with a deeper scowl. “Shoes?”
I try to nod, but my head is too floaty. “Yes. I don’t have any clothes or shoes. If I can just borrow a pair, I’ll find a way to get out of here.”
The omega’s immaculate eyebrows fold into a crease. “You can’t leave,” he intones. “Don’t you get it? You half-bonded him. If you leave right now, before the connection has time to weaken, he’ll be in agony. Every day.”
By the time he’s finished, the air of menace I’ve been waiting for has finally made its appearance. I quiver, biting my lower lip. Trying to understand.
Is he saying… I’m stuck here? Unable to leave. Again?
Only this time, I’ll be surrounded by alphas who hate me for forcing my bite on their leader. And the omega I apparently tried to take him from.
Desperate, I start bargaining. “Please. I—I have a sister. I don’t know where she is, or if she’s okay, but I have to find her and figure out what happened to the man who raised us and—”
Gideon shakes his head slowly. “You can’t find her,” he replies, cold. “Because she isn’t lost. She’s bonded to my cousin’s pack. And that man, Dr. Brynn? He’s gone.”
He says the last word with chilling finality, confirming my latest suspicions. Of course my “father” didn’t actually decide to leave me, his pet project, behind. The man is dead.
I probably ought to feel upset, but ringing relief rolls through me. Gideon starts to apologize, but I shake my head.
“No,” I whisper. “That’s… better. No one to look for me or Briar.” My mind trips over everything he just said. Disbelief replaces my relief. “You said she’s bonded now? To your cousin?”
Something dark slithers into his storm-cloud gaze. “Yes. She is. And… listen, I can’t let you contact her. Not yet. If her alphas knew we’d found you and let anything like this happen… it would be dangerous for our pack. Especially Atlas.”
His name ties my stomach into knots again. I whine, but the sound is pitifully weak. “So I can’t… call Briar? Just to tell her I’m okay?”
Gideon grits his teeth. “You’re not okay,” he snaps. “That’s the fucking problem. You won’t be okay until your next heat passes, when your Omega hopefully lets you move on. If you call Briar now, they’ll come to take you home—and Atlas will have to go with you. Or stay here and suffer.”
Understanding sinks into my seething center. “You’re asking me not to contact her at all. For… as long as it takes to fix this?”
Gideon doesn’t deny it. The darkness in his eyes hardens into black ice as he tilts his head. Instead of answering my question, he asks one of his own.
“I’d say you owe me one, wouldn’t you?”
He’s right, of course. I owe him anything he wants. Anything to make this right. Even though that probably isn’t possible.
I make myself nod, but my brain skips and my thoughts blur.
The new voice inside me finally reappears, sensing I’m on the verge of another traumatic episode.
My scent is still unfamiliar to me—some blend of floral and sweet.
The heady fragrance smolders, expanding to fill the whole room, along with my whine.
Heavy footsteps beat their way toward us. My muscles lock me in place, fresh terror gripping them. But Gideon sighs as if he’s relieved—and resigned.
A different man appears in the open doorway.
This one, I recognize. He has the same square chin and rich complexion as the alpha from my surreal memories.
Though he’s half-dressed, this time, barefoot and shirtless.
Square glasses sit crookedly on the end of his nose and there’s a visible bulge at the front of his black sweatpants.
Gideon must know him by his scent, because he doesn’t turn around. He grinds his jaw for a long moment before exhaling again. His shoulders drop into a less intimidating stance, but acid bleeds into his voice.
“Violet, this is Atlas. Atlas, meet Violet. Your mate.”
The alpha in the doorway flinches, his coffee-and-whipped cream essence darkening into a bitter muddle. Another whine snags in my raw throat. His deep brown eyes snap from the back of Gideon’s head to my face.
I should be scared of him. Compared to Gideon, he’s much broader and taller. But next to me? He seems impossibly large and built.
I ought to be melting into a puddle. Running for the hills. Screaming for help.
Instead, I only feel a deep, insistent rush of calm.
There’s sorrow layered into it. Regrets and remorse and a painful sort of longing. But it’s still soothing. Solid and warm. Certain.
It takes a moment for me to realize—the feelings aren’t mine. It’s him. He’s pushing his emotions into me on purpose. In however many hours I spent passed out, he’s already mastered how to close his side of our bond off… and how to reopen it when he wants to.
There are no words, which must be an effect of the incomplete circuit between us. But he doesn’t need me to read his mind in order to communicate.
Judging by the emotions he shares, Atlas clearly doesn’t want to hurt me. He isn’t even angry. Grieving, yes. Haunted by the look on Gideon’s face, yes. Hating himself for how long he stares at mine…
The veins in his forearms stand out as he flexes his muscles, slowly twisting his arm to show me—
My bite.
“It’s alright, Violet,” he says, speaking slowly. “I’m okay, and so are you. We’re going to sort this out.”
Lord, he’s so… alpha. For a moment, I don’t have any choice but to believe him.
Of course he’s right. Of course I’m okay as long as he’s here.
But as he goes on, explaining the half-bond and how we’re going to live with it until my heat, his deep voice sends tingles coursing through my body. I clamp my thighs together, trying to stave off a mortifying burst of wetness. My spine snaps on a shiver, forcing slick from my aching core.
Gideon hisses, and Atlas abruptly stops speaking. His jaw pops as his eyes fall closed.
Oh God.
“I’m so sorry,” I squeak again, fresh tears rolling down my chapped cheeks. “Please—just let me go. I’ll—I won’t tell Briar. Or anyone. A-and you’ll never have to look at me again, I swear.”
Right now, the logistics of that promise don’t matter. I’ll figure out a way to walk to the nearest town and ask for help. I just need to hunt down a hospital or a police station. Then, with any luck, I’ll be able to find a job to keep me afloat until it’s safe to contact Briar…
They’ve both told me it will hurt the alpha and me if I leave now. Whatever pain it might cause can’t possibly be worse than this, though, right? Atlas and Gideon will both be so much better off without me wedged between them.
Gideon’s chest inflates as he prepares to argue, but Atlas takes a step toward both of us. He pumps more reassurance into our frayed tether, even as it takes on a grim note.
“I’m afraid that isn’t an option,” he says, his face pulling into more severe lines. “Because you aren’t just my—” He cuts himself off as a thump of chagrin pulses over our link. Shaking his head, he corrects, “You have another mate, omega. And he isn’t going to want you to leave.”
You have another mate.
Another. Mate.
Utter dismay echoes through me. Atlas senses the way I veer toward complete overwhelm and grimaces. “I know this is a lot to take in. Perhaps we should speak in the morning? I’m sure Finn and Ryker would like a chance to chime in.”
Finn and Ryker.
The first name sounds familiar. My Omega sends me images from her day in control of my body—mental pictures of an alpha who looks like he belongs in a magazine spread for luxury European yacht vacations. Glossy espresso hair, shining Aegean eyes. A soul-deep tug of yearning accompanies the images.
Our Alpha, she confirms. Though when she mulls the other name Atlas said, she comes up empty, apart from the faintest traces of the warm, sweet musk clinging to—
This dog?
I didn’t even see him before, but sure enough, there’s a huge white-and-gray speckled pooch lying on the floor near the footboard. He must belong to their other packmate.
Atlas reads my emotions, nodding slowly. “That is Ryker’s pet, yes. He’s probably in here because his alpha can’t be.”
Feeling my jolt of confused alarm, Atlas sighs. “Ryker is… different. He lost his chosen omega and his Alpha went feral. Now, he has issues speaking—but he won’t harm you. He knows his moods well enough to stay away if he feels unstable.”
That information probably ought to scare me. I can’t get past the breathless concern enveloping my lungs, though. Atlas senses it, and his face softens. “He’s okay, omega. Let’s worry about you right now. One thing at a time.”
Gideon swallows audibly. When I look over at his face, I find it covered in another layer of tears. He hasn’t turned around yet—and the gleam in his eyes is borderline-aggressive, warning me not to rat him out for crying.
Another snap of self-loathing squashes my stomach. I shake my head frantically, turning back to Atlas. “Just… please. Let me go. I need to go.”
I’m hurting him.
I’m hurting all of them.
As if proving my point, Atlas’s face splits in pain.
His stance goes from commanding to resigned.
“Finn will be devastated to hear you’ve gone.
” Bottomless brown eyes glint in the moonlight, beaming into mine.
“But I would never stop you from leaving if that’s truly what you wish.
You’ve been locked up your whole life, Violet. I won’t become your latest cage.”
Relief and grief surge into my middle, strong enough to topple me. I whine, my head bobbing in another frantic nod. Desperation climbs my chest. The need to get out of this alpha’s life, away from the people he loves.
I never should have been here. No one will miss me.
Atlas feels me make my decision. His scent turns to ash, but he calmly lowers his chin. “We’ll get you on your way in the morning. I’ll call a car, and Finn can find some clothes for you to borrow.”
Something sensual and angry flickers over his face as he adds a smooth bark. “Gideon. Bed.”
The other omega jerks, his body reacting. He starts to stomp toward the door, his nutty essence melting into wet cinders that burn my nose. Atlas retreats as quickly as he arrived. Gideon moves to follow, but lingers at the threshold, speaking without turning his head.
“You’ve already ruined my pack,” he says, toneless.
“If you go running to your sister, Cillian will never forgive me, and then you’ll ruin what little family I have left, too.
Just… think about staying until your first heat.
Please. Atlas is a good man. He doesn’t deserve to be in pain. If you leave now, he’ll suffer.”
Gideon finally looks over his shoulder, stunning me into stillness with his arrestingly handsome face as much as his final warning. “And so will you.”