Chapter 8
Daniel
The tinsel is frustrating. I admit that. But the conversation is interesting. Sometimes I get bored talking to women. They don’t seem to want to do anything other than talk about people and styles and fashions. None of which I’m interested in. I can carry on a conversation okay, but I’d much rather talk about ideas, even abstract ideas like what Amber is saying.
But knowing that she enjoys conversations like this makes me wonder more about her.
“Did you grow up in Christmas Tree?” I ask, trying to make it sound casual. Maybe a natural stretch of our conversation since we were talking about children having a sinful nature from the time they’re born.
“I have. I’ve lived here all my life. I love it here.”
“Christmas all the time?” I ask with eyebrows raised. I can’t believe we’ve never crossed paths before. I don’t particularly like Baltimore. It’s too crowded and noisy, and the older I get, the less appeal it has for me. Although, it is nice to have good restaurants within walking distance, and there is never a lack for something to do. Even if it’s just to watch the ships come in.
“I love Christmas. Maybe it’s because I grew up here in Christmas Tree, but yeah. Christmas is the best. And why not all year?”
“Because you get tired of it?” I say, trying to make it sound like it’s just a suggestion, not something I believe. I’m truly not sure.
“I suppose that’s possible. But Christmas is love and joy and peace and giving and even self-sacrifice. Which is character building. How could you not love living in a town that encourages you every day to build your character?”
“Wow. That’s pretty convincing. Although, I don’t know that our society really values character building anymore.”
Her look says that she understands what I’m talking about. Her face is fascinating to me, the way the emotions fly over it, and I have to remember to focus on the tinsel.
After about thirty minutes, the tinsel has started to fall apart a little easier. I don’t know if I’m getting into an easier section, or if I figured out the trick. It seems like Amber has figured it out as well, as we both seem to be moving faster.
“I think we all still value it, we just don’t talk about it like that,” she finally says.
“What do you mean?” I ask easily as I get yet another piece of tinsel untangled.
“I mean that we all value people who are honest. We value honesty. We value people who keep their word. We value people who care about others. We value people who are willing to give more than required in order to help someone or even in order to do their job. We love that about others, but we don’t deliberately cultivate that in ourselves. So, while we value it, we don’t cultivate it.”
“That probably has to do with the way religion has been demonized in our society,” I say, picking up the last piece of tinsel and getting to work. “Are those things that you cultivate in yourself?” I ask, maybe to feel her out a little. Because she seems like the kind of person who lives in a deliberate way. The way where she was more concerned about me than she was about herself when I offered to help gave me a little hint too.
“As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten more aware of the kind of person I want to be. And the fact that I’m not nearly what I want to be. I suppose it has to do with being a Christian, but it also has to do with just wanting to be good for society. How can we look at ourselves and think that we just need to live for us? Sometimes I think we also just live for our families. But there’s no greater good than to give your life for others.”
“Well, I think it is good for people to spend time with their families. To spend time investing in their families. After all, families are the building blocks of society.”
“I agree. I guess I didn’t mean it like that. I was thinking more along the lines of peewee football, where the parents are storming out in the field because Junior didn’t get the ball or crucifying coaches because the last play didn’t include their precious little five-year-old football star.”
“Oh, I see. Yeah. If we could just get that kind of passion for things that really matter.”
“Yeah. I don’t know, maybe those are the same kind of parents who don’t spend a lot of time with their children outside of whatever it is they’re trying to push their children toward. Whether it’s becoming a great football player, or ballerina, or, I don’t know, whatever parents try to push their children into.”
“Did your parents push you?” I ask, curious. I was pushed, but I didn’t take it the same way my brother did.
“I guess they pushed me to get good grades, which I see as a good thing, and that can be kind of frustrating. But they weren’t very happy when I decided I wanted to study design. They didn’t see it as a profitable thing, but they didn’t discourage me. I think their goal was the same as mine, that I would grow up in Christmas Tree and find a job and stay in Christmas Tree.”
“I don’t know what it would be like to grow up in a town and stay in that town forever.”