CHAPTER TWENTY
… a wise little, plain little, grey little head looked in through the open door …
[he] patted the Maltese Cat on the flank, and he limped in to the blaze of light and the glittering uniforms …
He was used to messes, and men’s bedrooms, and places where ponies are not usually encouraged …
So he behaved himself very politely and ate bread dipped in salt …
Rudyard Kipling, The Maltese Cat
Rafe stepped into the flickering candlelight, moving to fold an astonished Sage into his arms. He was wearing his tweed suit that meant he had come directly from racing. His dark hair was wet from the rain, his seraph beauty heightened by his fierce countenance.
‘I know that we have all come to expect you to be bloody, Mary. But you still surprise me. Your father would be deeply ashamed.’
Like most bullies, Mary could not hold up under the pressure of confrontation; on seeing Rafe, she visibly crumpled and silently slunk out of the room.
Sage was clamped against Rafe’s chest by his strong arms. ‘How are you here?’
‘Well, I couldn’t get through to you on your bloody mobile and I didn’t like the way we’d left things.
So I flew up. I’ll have to leave again at four tomorrow morning, but I needed to see you.
’ His eyes were filled with tenderness. ‘I won’t lose you, Sage.
’ He leant down and kissed her. The weight of the world floated away, all the angst and trauma of thinking he no longer wanted her now appeared ridiculous.
How could she have thought him so mercurial as to change his mind so easily?
She chastised herself for being so feeble.
Kestrel’s chair shrieked as he pushed it back and got to his feet.
‘Well, old boy, it’s very good to see you. I will leave you two love birds to it though. See, I told you, Sage. Once that vigorous mind is made up, it does not waver.’ He made to leave the room, shooting them a rueful smile, and Rafe let go of Sage to take hold of his cousin’s arm.
‘Hey, hey. Cousin of mine. Steady on. Sit down, please.’ Rafe steered him back into his chair.
Excusing herself, Sage ran up to their room and was surprised at the relief she felt on finding Hal, safe and fast asleep, in the dressing room.
Mary’s words had rattled her and unease fluttered in her stomach.
How did Mary fit into the picture with Santiago?
She couldn’t make the pieces of the puzzle fit together.
She leant down, careful not to wake Hal, and placed a feather-light kiss on his forehead.
Breathing in his comforting scent, she kissed him again and then returned to the dining room.
The two men were leaning against the fireplace but when she entered the room, Rafe gestured for them all to sit down.
Rafe and Sage took seats either side of Kestrel.
The desolate expression on his face wrenched at both of their hearts.
‘I was just assuring Kestrel that there will be a way through this situation.’ Rafe gave his cousin’s shoulder a squeeze, as if to punctuate his certainty.
Sage was curious. ‘I may have got the wrong end of the stick. Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t you have a large pile of bricks in Belgravia that you could sell?’
‘I can’t sell it, Sage. I promised Papa that I would provide for Mary and that’s her home.’
‘We-ell,’ said Rafe slowly, ‘providing for Mary does not mean that she has to live in that enormous house, in one of the most exclusive real-estate locations in the world, rattling about on her own. You could get Mary another, more appropriate, house somewhere else with some of the proceeds. Couldn’t you? ’
‘She said, last time, that she would not give it up.’ Kestrel was morose. ‘We had a terrific row about it at Papa’s funeral. She said she’d never speak to me again if I sold the London house. She even threatened to kill herself.’
‘Mary hasn’t got anyone else to use as a punchbag, so she takes everything out on you – she always has done.
As for topping herself, that’s just her old dirty trick.
She’s been threatening to do that since she was three years old.
Buy her a nice house in Chelsea or somewhere, and save Dunbarton Castle.
Let’s not pretend for a moment that Mary would spare a thought about doing the same thing to you if the situation were reversed. ’
‘Do you really think so? I was just trying to do the right thing, the thing Papa would have wanted me to do.’
‘He would not have wanted you to lose the castle though, would he? He would have understood about selling the London house, he often talked of doing it himself.’
‘That’s true.’ Kestrel sat up a little straighter.
‘And I wish you’d spoken to me sooner, Kestrel. You could have saved yourself a huge amount of heartache.’
‘It all seems much simpler now that you’re here.’ Kestrel had some colour back in his cheeks. Remembering his manners, he placed a grateful hand on Sage’s arm and asked Rafe, ‘Would you like a drink?’
It was still pitch black when the alarm on Rafe’s phone started to bleep, the sound tearing cruelly into the peacefully slumbering lovers’ brains.
Rafe and Sage lay together, their limbs still entwined from when they had finally fallen asleep a few hours ago.
Sage moaned, longing to fall back into a deep sleep with the comforting warmth of Rafe’s body beside her.
He put a hand on her cheek and spoke softly, not wanting to wake Hal in the next room.
‘My love … I’m afraid I’ve got to go. I have a runner at Kempton today and need to be there for the owners. Are you sure you don’t want to come back with me?’
Sage sat up groggily, leaning against the dusty headboard, leaving her jumbled technicolour dreams where they lay on the feather pillow.
‘I think I must go to meet Casper, as much as I’d like to come with you, Rafe.
’ She smiled regretfully; her face shone up at him amidst the debris of the tangled bed sheets, full of uncomplicated love.
‘I need to see him.’ She was determined now to return to Newmarket and face the problem of Santiago and Casper head on.
‘And you definitely don’t want to tell him?’ Rafe did not like her carrying the burden alone.
‘Just give me some time. If I can’t get Santiago to leave us alone after a few days, then I will tell Cas. I promise.’
Going down to breakfast some hours later, Sage clasped Hal’s hand tightly as they descended the stairs. She squared her shoulders, readying herself to come up against Mary again.
Sure enough the tussle began the moment Sage entered the kitchen.
Mary sat at the table, with Mrs M scurrying about bringing her coffee in a silver pot, the papers straight from a boy on a bicycle from the village, and a cooked breakfast that lay untouched on a plate that had been imperiously pushed aside.
‘Morning, Mrs M. Hello, Mary – are you not hungry? I can’t resist Mrs M’s delicious cooking,’ Sage said stoutly.
‘Yes, I can see that you like your grub,’ came the icy reply from behind the Daily Telegraph.
Sage looked at Mrs M, shrugging her shoulders. Mrs M rolled her eyes; there was little she could do without overstepping her place.
‘Good morning, Sage, Hal. Sit down, you two. There’s bacon in the pan and I’ll just put on some more eggs,’ she said gently, doing her best to calm the highly charged atmosphere.
Sage sat down but Hal approached Mrs M, touched her hand and said beseechingly in his high, clear voice, ‘Are there any eggs for Tarka, please, Mrs M?’
‘If Mrs M asks you to sit down, then you ought to sit down,’ Mary snapped, putting down the paper. ‘Where’s Rafe – bolted already?’ she all but snarled.
‘Wow, I’m going to need a long spoon to sup with you this morning,’ Sage muttered, refusing to be baited.
Mary looked at her blankly.
‘Where’s Kestrel?’ Sage asked
‘He’s sulking outside on the wall.’ Mary returned to the paper.
Dropping a kiss on Hal’s head, Sage left him sitting at the table waiting for Mrs M to finish the eggs. He wisely chose the seat furthest away from Mary. She picked up the coffee that Mrs M had poured for her and fled outside with it.
Stepping out into the pale light of a fresh new morning, Sage sucked the clean air deep into her lungs.
The storm had blown itself out in the early hours and the sodden, brown hills now slumbered peacefully in the weak sunshine.
Kestrel sat cross-legged on the wall gazing out into the distance, his back turned on the house.
‘Morning. Are you all right, Kestrel?’ Sage asked, clutching her coffee cup and savouring the warmth.
He swivelled round to look at her. ‘Good morning, lovely Sage. I am summoning my courage,’ he said theatrically, allowing a smile to creep onto his face, easing the tense muscles.
‘What for?’ Sage shuffled onto the wall beside him. ‘You going to jump?’ she teased.
‘Sort of … I am taking the plunge. I am going to tell my bloody sister that I’m selling the London house.’ Kestrel looked terrified, for all his bravado. Sage put a hand on his arm and then pulled him closer to embrace him.
‘Want me to tell her? I think I’d probably enjoy it. She’s monstrous.’ Sage let him go and he patted her fondly on the shoulder.
‘No, no. It’s something I’ve got to do myself.
You’re right, though – she’s a nightmare.
She told me this morning that she is going to tell Mama that I need to be “shipped off to rehab”.
That’s before I’ve told her I’m selling her home.
She is going to kill me …’ He paused. ‘I know I drink too much but I haven’t always been like this, Sage.
It was losing the castle, you see – the guilt of sending all the loyal servants away from their homes.
But I won’t have to now. Most of them haven’t left – the ones that had nowhere to go are still there.
They can all stay now. I cannot tell you how much lighter my heart feels.
I’ll stop drinking. I’ll be too busy running the estate.
’ Kestrel’s eyes were feverishly bright – he had almost convinced himself.
He looked pleadingly at Sage. ‘They can’t ship me off if I don’t want to go, can they? ’
‘No, of course they can’t. Go on, tell her – take the bull by the horns. I’ll run in to save you if you get gored.’ Sage pushed him off the wall encouragingly.
‘Promise?’ Kestrel looked to her for reassurance, his long arms stretched out to steady him, off balance.
‘I promise.’
Once a histrionic Mary had slammed out of the front door and driven off in her shiny sports car in a raging temper, Sage and Hal hugged Mrs M goodbye and climbed back into Kestrel’s rickety Toyota.
Kestrel was in much better spirits, high on the adrenaline of standing up to Mary at last, which proved to be no mean feat.
He whistled to himself as he opened the boot to let the impatiently waiting wolfhounds jump in.
‘Sorry, they’re a bit wet,’ Kestrel apologized as he folded himself into the driver’s seat.
‘They will be so thrilled to get back home. The stone hall, my favourite room in the castle, has this enormous fireplace and the girls actually get right in next to the fire basket after their morning sea swim, and it dries them in minutes – they can’t be moved from that fireplace. ’ He looked ahead dreamily.
‘I am so glad for you, Kestrel. Is the castle next to the sea too?’ Sage asked, overjoyed to see such a transformation in him. His eyes sparkled, his chin was held high. Their shared amazement that he had actually done it was exhilarating.
‘Yes, my dear, but it is on the other side, on the east coast. It’s over four hours from here. I am actually going to go there now and talk to the tenants. Inverness is on the way, so it couldn’t have worked out better.’
‘How did Mary take the news?’ Sage asked, curiosity overcoming her. ‘Obvious reaction aside, of course!’
‘Not well, I’m afraid. But I could see that she had known it was a possibility.
I was actually relieved that she blew up and had a tantrum – that’s much safer than when she goes silent and deadly.
The silence always means she’s cooking up something extra wicked.
She knew what I was going to say this morning, I think she just hoped I might be too frightened of her to take that path. ’
‘I’m sure she’ll see that it’s the right thing, in the end,’ Sage said, not really believing it.
Kestrel kept his eyes on the road as they pulled out towards Inverness, the car groaning and creaking in protest as he cajoled it up to seventy miles per hour. ‘So … when you and my cousin get hitched, would you like to do it from the castle?’
‘Ha!’ Sage hid her goofy, warm smile in her coat; she suddenly felt quite giddy with joy, but marriage was not on the cards, not yet.
Sage welled up as she and Hal hugged Kestrel goodbye at Inverness station.
She was so relieved that he was in better spirits but she still felt as though she were leaving a beloved son or a brother, all alone, before their first night away from home at boarding school.
There was something so poignantly fragile about him, he roused all of her maternal instincts; she just wanted to protect him.
The train was almost empty and they had a whole four seats and a table all to themselves. Hal was bouncing about, fizzing with excitement about his first train journey.
Sage gave out a deep sigh. Like a greylag goose that travels from Sweden to North Africa because it has an inescapable feeling, a yearning, that renders it unable to remain in the same place until it reaches where it needs to be, she knew she was travelling towards her true purpose. Back to Rafe.