Declan
I love football. I really love football.
As far as I'm concerned,
it's the second best thing in the world.
~ Joe Namath
This three-day-a-week schedule for a home health aide is for the birds.
Do I need Winona here?
Not really. Not even the three days she comes.
Claudette cooks for me. Darlene cleans. I get around on my crutches now. Winona does remind me to rest, but she could do that by text.
I want her here—her smile, the sound of her voice, the way she laughs at her own jokes.
My mind drifts to the throwing lessons—a convenient excuse to touch her.
I’m a chicken in a grown man’s body.
I’ve never hesitated over a woman. But no woman has ever mattered like she does.
She should be here in an hour, after she finishes whatever Winona for Hire job she’s doing this morning.
I could hire her. She wouldn’t have to take all these random gigs. And I’d pay her well. But then I definitely wouldn’t be able to date her.
Date her.
I officially said the words. Not out loud, but I’ve been dancing around what I want, even in my own head.
I want to take her out. Or stay in. Cook for her.
Put on candles. Some nice music over the speaker system.
Maybe even dance with her in the kitchen.
Maybe we would go out. Somewhere nice. In Nashville. Take her dancing there.
Then we’d drive home and she’d lean her head back on the headrest, satisfied and happy.
And when we got to her driveway, I’d jump out and open her door.
Walk her to the porch … does she have a porch?
I don’t even know. Why don’t I know if Winona has a porch?
I should know. This relationship has been all about me. That needs to change.
Well, for the sake of my imaginary moment, she has a porch.
And we’re on it, under a glowing porch light that Cass left on for her sister.
And Winona looks up at me. I brush my hand along her cheek, letting it drift down her arm.
She smiles, giving me a green light to lower my head to meet her mouth in a kiss …
I shake my head, snapping myself out of my daydream. Before I think better of it, I reach out to call Patrick. I need help.
Wait. I can’t call Patrick. Not about her.
Daisy’s in Winona’s world. He’d want to talk to Daisy.
I push the button and say, “Call Marcus Delaney.”
The phone rings twice and Marcus’ boisterous greeting bellows through.
“O’Connell, my man! What’s up?”
“Hey, Delaney … How are you?”
“How am I?” He laughs a full laugh. “How am I? O’Connell. You telling me you’re calling to ask how I am?”
I run my hand down my jaw.
I should be calling to ask how he is.
“No.”
“Get to it, then.” He laughs lightly.
“I … uh … aww man, I’m no good at this.” I drag my hand through my hair.
“Are you trying to propose, O’Connell? Because as much as I like you, I’m holding out for a woman who knocks me off my feet and leaves me seeing more stars than if I was hit by a three-hundred-pound linebacker. I haven’t met her yet, but she’s out there.”
“Yeah. That’s what I’m calling about.”
“To propose to me?” He laughs again. “Did you hit your head?”
“No,” I laugh. “I got hit by a linebacker. I mean … a woman.”
“Declan.” Delaney’s voice is serious. “Were you in an accident? Someone ran into you?”
“No … No.” I shake my head. “A woman knocked me over. Like you said … Winona.”
“Oooooweee.” He laughs hard now—hard gasps between peals of his deep laughter. “Declan O’Connell got laid out by a woman. I can see it, though. She’s …”
I cut him off. “Don’t say another word about her.”
I know he’s going to say how beautiful and smart and funny and comfortable in her own skin she is. How she’s not like any other woman—especially not the ones we’re used to being around.
He laughs again. “I see you. But I hate to break it to you. I’m not the one to give relationship advice. You need to talk to someone like Linc.”
“Yeah. You’re probably right.”
“Though I’m flattered you proposed to me first,” he says, cracking himself up. “Hang on.”
There’s a clicking sound and a beep, and I wonder if he hung up, but then he’s back.
The next thing I know, Linc’s on the call too. “Yeah, Delaney, what’s up?”
“I’ve got O’Connell on the phone,” Delaney says.
“Declan?”
“Yeah, hey, Linc.”
“What’s up? You okay? I’m sorry I haven’t been by, man. It’s been busy. You know how it is. That’s no excuse, though.”
“It’s fine. I do know how it is.”
“What’s going on?” Linc asks. “Why’s Delaney doing your dirty work? You’ve got my number.”
“I do. And I’m fine.”
“Is this about a woman?” Linc asks.
Delaney just starts cracking up again. “See. I knew you’d be the one to call, Linc.”
“Of course, I’m the one to call. Especially if it’s about women. Your parents trying to fix you up with another model or an actress wannabe, or is it a European heiress this time?”
Both my teammates laugh like they’re at a comedy show.
“Can we not go there?” I practically wail. “And, yes. I’ve had a few statuesque visitors while I’ve been homebound. My parents set up unwelcome visits. One time, Winona was here to witness the whole thing.”
“The perks of being out on leave,” Linc says on a laugh. Not that he’s interested in having random women visit him. He’s happily married.
“Perks?” I ask. I sure wouldn’t call women parading through my home in hopes of me putting a ring on it perks.
“Let’s call this meeting to order,” Delaney says. “O’Connell’s got a crush on his nurse.”
Linc laughs a hearty, deep laugh. “Oh, no. That’s too rich. Almost cliché, my man.”
“I know.” I stare at the life-sized abstract painting of myself running onto the field.
“Is this a situation where you’re dependent and she fluffs your pillows just right, or do you really like her?”
“I like her. I think. I don’t know.”
I like her. A lot. I just don’t know what to do with all these feelings and my situation. I’ll be going back to work in a few months. What if this is one-sided? My head rolls with thoughts. And beneath all that is a longing I can’t tame and can barely contain.
I scrub my hand down my jaw again. Man, I need to shave.
The line goes so quiet I wonder if they hung up.
Winona. I love her quirky way of seeing things, the way she moves through the world with delight like a child. But she’s no child. She’s all woman. And yet, she’s unpretentious. The opposite of every woman my mom and dad have foisted on me over the years.
“Yeah,” I finally say. “I like her.”
Linc lets out a whoop. Delaney says, “Now we’re getting somewhere.”
Then Linc says, “Well, my mama always said …”
“Here we go with your mama,” Delaney says. I can practically see the eye roll.
“Are you disrespecting Mama Walker?” Linc asks, his tone playful, but the underlying threat undeniable.
“Never,” Marcus backs down.
“That’s what I thought, Delaney. Now. As I was saying, my mama always said, the woman you don’t see coming? The woman who catches you off guard? The one you can’t shake no matter how hard you try? That’s the one.”
Winona definitely caught me off guard. And I did not see her coming.
“She pulled a fake punt on you,” Delaney says, his voice full of his smile.
“Yeah,” I grin. “She did. And I don’t think she even knows.”
“What do you mean?” Linc asks. “She’s not all starry-eyed over our tight end?”
I stare toward the archway, where she’ll be popping around the wall in less than an hour.
What does she see when she comes in here?
A man on a couch. Things strewn around. My face unshaven. My hair a mess.
I’m at my low point.
Definitely not getting ready to go out on the town.
“She’s not … interested,” I confess. “Or if she is, she doesn’t show it.”
“Oh man!” Delaney practically does a victory dance from his end of the phone. “A woman who isn’t dropping at your feet. No wonder she caught your eye.”
“What is it with us men? We always want the ones we can’t get,” Linc says.
“Not true. I haven’t wanted anyone,” I remind him. “Not for a while.”
“Not since Barbie two-point-oh.” Marcus chuckles softly.
“Please,” I beg him. “Let’s not go there.”
“Well, I say you just need to turn on the Declan charm,” Linc says. “You know. Smile. Wink. Stare in her eyes. Whatever it is you do.”
I know what he’s talking about, but somehow none of that seems like it would even scratch the surface with Winona.
“Wouldn’t it be the cruelest form of irony that I finally find a woman I’m interested in and she doesn’t want a thing to do with me?”
“The cruelest,” Delaney says, but he’s laughing.
“Go ahead and laugh,” I say.
“Oh, don’t worry, man. I am.”
“Don’t say anything about this to the rest of the team,” I say.
“We’ve got you, O’Connell,” Linc says.
“Just be your charming self,” Delaney says. “Women seem to love that.”
“Yeah. I don’t think that’s what she likes.”
“I think she likes you,” Linc says. “She’s always driving your butt around when she doesn’t have to. She looks up at you with that sweet smile when you two are exiting the facility. You already look like a couple. Am I right, Delaney?”
“You’re not wrong,” Delaney says. “I’m cuter, but for some reason, she’s got her eyes on our tight end.”
I practically growl even though he’s just playing around.
“Winona might not know how to show how she feels for you,” Linc says.
“You are a pro player. That’s a lot for most women to take in.
Our lives aren’t normal. Women either fan all over us or think they’ve got what it takes to nail us down.
A woman like Winona doesn’t come along every day.
She’s comfortable around the team and she doesn’t seem to have ulterior motives. ”
I nod even though they can’t see me.
“Thanks, guys.”
“Anytime. You know that,” Linc says.
“You can buy me dinner to thank me,” Delaney says, and I laugh.
I miss these guys. They’re as much my brothers as Patrick is.
“Rest up, O’Connell. We need you back.”
“Thanks, Linc. I’m doing everything I can.”
“I know you are.”
Delaney shouts, “Go get that girl, Big OC!”
I laugh. “Yeah. I just might.”