Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
Delaney
Talking with Tank through text messages and phone calls all week has helped ease most of my anxiety. Instead of being nervous he is coming over, I’m excited.
I want to see him.
That scares me a little bit, though, because we were clear in the beginning about what this is. It’s temporary. An experiment to see if we can get me over my issues while giving him a taste of what he wants to.
I cannot become attached, but it’s hard because Tank?
He’s funny. I find myself smiling at his texts throughout the day. He’s also sweet and charming. Smarter than one would give a biker credit for.
He’s everything I never knew I wanted wrapped up in a sexy package.
So when he knocks on my door, I don’t even pretend to act cool. I skip over to it, opening it with a big smile on my face.
“Hey.” I smile up at him.
He steps inside, cupping my cheek before kissing me deeply.
“Hey,” he rasps when he finally pulls away, shutting and locking the door behind him.
“I made dinner. Chicken parm. I figured we might need some energy later.”
I hate how my cheeks heat at the insinuation. I need to get over it, though. We have to be comfortable to talk about sex in order for this to work for both of us.
“Smart idea. Let me go put my bag down in your room, if that’s cool.”
I nod and head back to the stove to start plating the food. I set each plate down at the table, then grab him a beer that he mentioned he liked while I pour myself a small glass of wine.
When he comes back to join me, I can see the way his eyes light up at seeing the beer. It’s such a small thing to do for him, but he notices. Then again, he notices everything.
“Thank you.” His tone is deep and low as we sit down.
“Anytime.” I clear my throat as I start to cut my food. “So how was your day?” I pop a piece of chicken in my mouth as I look at him.
“Good. The whole garage thinks I have a secret girlfriend. Well, that’s a lie. Gunner has never said a word, but he mostly talks in grunts, so it’s hard to say what he thinks,” he says before he takes his own bite of food.
I smile as he talks about his friends. He acts like they annoy him, but I can see the love he has for them. He talks about them every time we speak. I feel like I know them already.
“Jagger still picking on you?” I ask.
He nods. “He never lets up. It’s who he is. I’m afraid it’s too late for him.”
I laugh. “Well, I can always call him and have a stern talking-to with him. I hear I’m quite good at that.”
I wink at him.
He reaches across the table, grabbing my hand. “No way am I sharing that with him. That’s only for me.”
I light up at his words. This feels more than just friends with benefits, but part of me wonders if I’m imagining it. A man like him doesn’t seem like the type to settle down.
Clearing my throat, I change the subject. “So what was your childhood like?”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret them. Not because I don’t want to know, but because it’s such an abrupt change of subject. In true Tank fashion, though, he rolls with it.
He pulls back, focusing on his food as he answers. “My young childhood was great. Some of my best memories.”
I hum under my breath. “You were rebellious as a teen?”
He shakes his head with a small smile. “Nope, obedient, but by then my mother learned she could profit off of me.”
“That’s why you talk the way you do. You sound much more educated than what I imagine bikers sound like.”
He nods.
I give him a small smile. “When did things change for you?”
“It started when I was thirteen. One of her friends mentioned what a handsome young man I was becoming. She hinted at not minding looking at me. My mother joked that she should pay for the pleasure. The woman pulled out her checkbook right then and wrote Mother a check. From then, it only got worse.”
My heart breaks from the sadness on his face. To have to go through all of that as a teenage boy. It’s disgusting.
“She deserves to be in prison. Please tell me she’s locked up.”
He laughs, but it’s humorless. “Yeah, right. She still lives in Boston. Has a nice mini-mansion and all the friends she could want. All it cost was her precious son.”
“You don’t see her anymore then?” I ask, needing him to say no.
“Not since I turned eighteen. I joined the Saints, then did this to my face and body. I took away what she profited on.”
I look down at my plate, my stomach sour now.
“Is that why you enjoy me ordering you around? Because your mother did?”
“No.” He reaches out and grabs my hand. “I don’t exactly know why I enjoy it.
I never got a hard-on from my mother ordering me around, but her friends?
That was a different story. It might have stemmed from the trauma, or maybe I was always like this and they unlocked something inside of me.
Either way, it’s not something I’m ashamed of.
I just like to keep it close to the vest.”
“Do you think your friends would judge you for it?”
He thinks a long moment before he answers.
“No. They would be there for me. Maybe make a few jokes to show that they won’t treat me any differently.
I never told them, though. I have never told anyone about my childhood.
I pushed it so far into the back of my mind.
What am I going to say? I was a teenage boy being pursued by multiple rich and gorgeous women? That’s some men’s dream.”
“You were a kid though, and it wasn’t your dream. Was it?”
He shakes his head. “It’s in the past, and I’ve moved on, though.”
I nod. “Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I’m a safe place. You can talk to me.”
“I know. I feel at ease with you,” he admits.
I feel like I’m on cloud nine.
“What about your childhood?” he asks, pushing his now clear plate away.
“My mother was more of a friend than a mother. She wasn’t bad per se, but she was fifteen when she had me, so really we grew up together.
Unfortunately, I grew up more mature. It went from her taking care of me to me taking care of her.
Making sure the bills were paid and such.
As soon as I turned eighteen, she told me she loved me, but she needed to go live her life now.
I still talk to her and see her a couple times a year, but she’s out chasing the life she feels she missed out on. ”
“That’s sad.”
I nod. “I’m not upset about it or anything. She made me into who I am.”
“She also might be the reason you need to control so much. You felt like your life was out of control when you were a kid.”
I smile. “That’s what my therapist says.”
“Maybe I should become one then,” he jokes.
“Nah, biker mechanic works for you. It’s sexy.”
He lets out a deep laugh, and for a moment, I get lost in how carefree he looks.
This man is such a contradiction. He’s tough yet soft. He dominates a room yet craves submission. He’s a biker, yet I can still see that young boy who needed protection.
And me? I want to be the one to protect him.
Tank
She’s gorgeous. I love how her hair is slightly curly with the reddish orange color like a beacon. My beacon to show me the way home.
It’s too early for talk like that, but over the past couple of weeks since I met her, I have realized I don’t want this to be something we only do a few times and then she moves on.
The idea of her being with another man makes me want to rip his heart out and feed it to our pigs.
That’s too intense. She craves control, so I need to convince her that she wants this. Make it her idea to keep me. I need to get her so tangled up with me that she can’t even think about another man.
“Are you Irish?” I ask, touching her hair.
She shakes her head. “My father was Scottish. Mom met him when she was overseas on a trip with my grandparents. They tried to find him when she found out she was pregnant, but no one knew who he was. All she had was a first name and a night she would never forget.”
“Was he a teen as well?”
She nods. “He was in Edinburgh on a trip with his parents. They happened to be staying at the same place. They were each there for several days, hanging out until Mom decided she wanted to lose her virginity to him. She describes it as the best night of her life and that she doesn’t regret it or me for even a second.
Sometimes I wonder if he would have been a good dad, but then I remember that I didn’t need him. I turned out just fine on my own.”
My heart hurts for her. I wonder if I could get Fox to look into it for her. I bet he can find out who the man is.
I tuck that away for later. “Well, I assume you got his hair.” I run a strand through my fingers.
She nods. “And his eyes. My mom has brown eyes, but both my grandparents have blue. She said my father did too, and with the way genes work, it makes sense.”
“Well, thank God for him then because your fiery red hair and eyes so blue oceans can’t compare are some of my favorite parts about you.”
She blushes as she looks up at me. “Trust me, you aren’t that difficult to look at either.”
“Face tattoos and all?”
She snorts. “I know you thought you were doing something when you got them, but I hate to break it to you, they only add to the appeal. You’re like a bad boy Greek god.”
“Your Greek god to command. Does that make you feel powerful?” I rasp, cupping her cheek.
She nods, biting her lip.
“Good. You should. You have all the control here,” I remind her.
She nods. “I actually have homework for us to complete.”
She stands, heading over to the counter to pull out a folder. She grabs a pen, then comes back to the table.
“This is a yes, no, maybe list. We go through it and answer what we would be interested in and what are hard no’s.”
“Anything with you is a yes,” I promise her.
She gives me a stern look. “We are filling it out.”
I swallow hard, my cock straining for her even more than he already was.
I could do normal with her. My body wants her even without her saying a word, but the fact that she is willing to explore this gray area with me?
Fuck, my body is on fire for this woman.
She’s a unicorn, and I have zero plans of letting her go.
“Yes, Laney,” I whisper, watching her eyes as they grow heated.
“Good. We start at the top. Anal?” She looks up at me.
“Yes.”
She hesitates. “More than butt plugs?”
I nod.
“Noted. It’s a maybe for me. I want to explore it, but I have never tried it.”
“We can ease you into it. The key is to get you relaxed, so once we get that sorted, we can venture out.”
“Got it. Next, beating with hands. What kind of question is that?” She looks confused. “It’s a no for me.”
I smile. “I’d never be able to hit you. Spanking, sure, but hit, no. I’m the same. Spanking is fine. And if you want to flog me or hit me with a paddle, I’m down, but I don’t think I could handle you beating me up for real.”
“Good. Violence isn’t really my thing. So that answers the next question too.”
She goes through several more questions about biting and bondage. Then she gets to one and looks up at me.
“A cage? Who even has a cage?”
I smile. “A cock cage. For me. It goes around the cock and limits it from being able to become hard. Then you do whatever you want to me. It’s supposed to make everything better. I’ve never tried it. I’ve even heard of some doms making their sub keep it on all day while at work and such.”
She swallows hard. “So yes for you. No for me since I don’t have a cock and all.”
The list is long, and she takes it very seriously. She goes through question by question, noting every single answer.
“Pegging?” She looks up. “What’s that?”
“When you have a strap-on and fuck me in the ass,” I say bluntly.
Her cheeks color. “Other than butt plugs, right?”
I nod once.
“Okay, that’s it. It gives me a lot to look up between our dates. If you are down with it, I would like to use this list as a sort of checklist. We can try everything.”
“You tell me what to do, and I do it. Remember?”
“Okay, well, some of this is going to take some work, but let’s get started then. Go to my room and get naked. Kneel on the floor with your hands behind your back, head facing the ground, and do not move until I give you permission to do so.”
“Yes, Laney.” I nod respectfully, then I stand.
Walking down the hall, my body is filled with anticipation. I cannot wait to see what she has in store for me.
She is either going to be the death of me or the greatest blessing I’ve ever been given.