Chapter Fourteen
B y the time the light started to fade, the noise had begun to lower.
Tanner stayed where he was near the edge of it all with Savannah on his lap, her weight warm and heavy against his chest. She still had chalk on one cheek and watermelon juice dried near the hem of her shirt, and every now and then she shifted enough to remind him she wasn’t fully asleep yet.
Cody dropped into the chair beside him with a fresh bottle of water in one hand.
Orsen stayed standing for a second, then sat on the bench opposite, stretching his legs out in front of him.
Santino had gone to help TJ with something inside, leaving the three of them free to talk and nobody else close enough to listen unless they were trying.
Cody glanced at Savannah and lowered his voice without making it obvious. “She’s done.”
Tanner looked down at her. “Nearly.”
“She’ll be asleep by the time you get home.”
Orsen leaned back against the bench. “You staying a bit longer or making a run for it?”
Tanner adjusted Savannah higher against him. “I haven’t decided.”
Cody snorted. “That means you’re thinking about leaving.”
“It means I haven’t decided.”
“Sure.”
Tanner ignored him and looked out across the yard. Christian was on Toni’s hip now with his face tucked against her shoulder, Lincoln and Arthur had gone inside to play on their console. Macy had gone inside with the boys and Cassie stood with TJ and Santino.
He could feel Miles somewhere to his left without looking. Tanner kept his eyes on the kids instead, somehow resisting the urge to seek him out.
Cody followed his line of sight, then looked back at him and grinned. “You know, for a man who keeps saying nothing’s going on, you spend a lot of time pretending not to notice things.”
Tanner turned his head slowly. “What are you talking about?”
“Nothing,” Cody said, too innocent to be believable.
Orsen folded his arms. “He’s been watching you all afternoon.”
“Who?”
Cody raised his eyebrows. “Really?”
Tanner looked away first, irritated by the heat crawling up the back of his neck. “I’m not doing this with you.”
Cody’s grin widened. “That’s not a denial.”
“It’s me telling you to shut up.”
“Still not a denial.”
“He watches you when you’re not looking,” Orsen murmured.
Tanner shot him a look. “You too?”
Orsen shrugged. “I notice things. Some habits die hard.”
“That’s useful,” Tanner muttered as he frowned at Orsen. He had no idea what he meant and wasn’t going to ask.
Cody laughed and leaned back in his chair. “You should be flattered.”
“I’m not.”
“Liar.”
Tanner shifted Savannah again, more for something to do than because she needed it. Her hand curled against his shirt, and Tanner sighed softly. He kept one palm spread over her back and let the noise of the yard fill the gap before either of them could say anything else.
The problem was, they weren’t wrong. He’d noticed Miles watching him. He’d noticed it first by the drinks table, then near the chalk, and again later when he was talking to Toni. Not staring in some stupid obvious way. Just often enough that Tanner had begun to feel it before he saw it.
Most of his life, being watched had meant trouble.
Somebody wanting something. Somebody deciding something.
Somebody asking questions that didn’t stop where they should.
This didn’t feel the same. That was the part that was getting under his skin.
Tanner was used to being watched by people who wanted something, or people looking for what they could take. With Miles, it didn’t feel like that.
Cody nudged his knee with his own. “You’re thinking too much.”
Tanner gave him a flat look. “No, I’m not.”
“It means your face has gone all tight again.”
“Maybe this is just my face.” Tanner glared at him.
“It’s not.”
Orsen’s mouth twitched, then he grinned. “It is.”
Tanner looked away before either of them could say more and reached into his pocket for his phone. The screen lit against his palm. He meant to check the time, but he saw the notification sitting there at the top from Little Oaks Preschool.
Hi Tanner. When you get a chance, could you bring in the guardianship documents for Savannah’s file? Thank you.
For a second everything around him went dull and distant.
Cody was still saying something. A bottle clinked against the table.
Tanner saw all of it without taking any of it in.
His thumb hovered over the screen, then he locked the phone and shoved it back into his pocket before either of them could ask.
The knot that had loosened over the past hour pulled tight again, and he glanced at Cody and Orsen and saw them watching him.
Cody watched him for a second. “You alright?”
Tanner nodded. “Yeah.”
Cody held his gaze for a second, clearly not buying it, but he let it go. Orsen looked at him a second longer than Cody did, then glanced away too. Tanner appreciated that more than he wanted to.
He forced himself to look back toward the yard. Savannah stirred and pressed her face harder into his chest. Tanner rubbed a hand up her back and kept his voice even when he said, “What time is it?”
Cody checked his phone. “Almost eight.”
Tanner nodded. “I should get her home soon.”
“You can still stay a bit,” Cody said. “No one’s kicking you out.”
Tanner gave a short huff. “Good to know.”
“I’m serious.”
“I know.” He did know. That was part of the problem too.
They meant it. Cody, TJ, even Orsen. They weren’t crowding him.
They weren’t waiting for him to screw up.
They were just there, making space for him to stay or go.
Tanner didn’t know what to do with that.
He’d been so used to running and avoiding questions that being allowed to sit and stay almost seemed foreign to him.
A shadow fell across the patch of grass in front of him before he heard the footsteps stop. Tanner looked up. Miles stood a few feet away with a beer in one hand and the other tucked into the pocket of his jeans. He didn’t look at Cody first, or Orsen, or anybody else. Just Tanner.
“Can I steal him for a minute?” Miles asked.
Cody’s grin came back so fast Tanner almost swore at him. “Depends,” Cody said. “You bringing him back?”
Miles didn’t rise to it, which meant he did a better job than Tanner would have in his place. “Probably.”
Orsen looked between them once, then pushed to his feet. “Come on,” he said to Cody. “TJ needs help.”
Cody didn’t move straight away. Tanner gave him a look sharp enough to make the point for him. Cody raised both hands. “I’m going.”
“You’re annoying.”
“I can be when it’s important.”
He got up and wandered off with Orsen, both of them leaving far more slowly than necessary. Tanner watched them go, then looked back at Miles. “You could’ve just said whatever you wanted to say in front of them.”
Miles glanced at Savannah. “I didn’t want an audience.”
Shifting Savannah carefully, Tanner stood, taking a second to get his balance with her weight against him. Miles waited without stepping in or reaching out, which Tanner noticed and appreciated.
They moved a little farther along the fence line where the noise from the others blurred into the background. Far enough that Cody wouldn’t hear unless he came closer.
Tanner kept one hand against Savannah’s back. “What?”
Miles leaned one shoulder against the fence post. “You busy tomorrow?”
Tanner frowned. “What kind of question is that?”
“A simple one.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Alright.” Miles nodded. “Are you free tomorrow evening?”
Tanner stared at him for a second. “Why?”
“I want to treat you to a meal.”
Tanner blinked, then looked past him toward the yard before he could stop himself. Cody had his back turned at the grill. TJ was saying something to Santino, Orsen standing with them. When he looked back, Miles was still standing there, waiting.
Tanner kept his voice low. “You just ask everybody that in the middle of a barbecue?”
“No.”
That was so direct it caught him off guard and he blurted, “Then why me?”
“You know why.”
Looking down at Savannah’s head tucked under his chin, Tanner bought himself some time to think.
He should say no because too much was still unsettled.
Nothing was fixed and going out with Miles would only tangle things up more.
Not like it wasn’t tangled up enough already with what had happened between them.
“Food,” Tanner said at last.
Miles nodded. “Food.”
“That’s it?”
“For now.”
Tanner narrowed his eyes. “You say that like there’s going to be more.”
Miles took a drink from his beer. “That depends how dinner goes.”
Tanner shifted his weight. “I’ve got Savannah.”
“I know.”
“Who will look after her?”
“I didn’t say anyone had to.”
Tanner frowned. “Then what exactly is your plan here?”
“I bring food over after she’s asleep. We eat, and if you decide you’re sick of me after that, I leave.”
Tanner stared at him for a second. The fact Miles had thought that through should probably have annoyed him, but it made something in his chest ease before he could stop it.
Finally, Tanner said, “One meal.”
“One meal.” Miles nodded.
“You’re paying.”
That got the smallest smile out of him. “Was planning on it.”
Tanner shifted Savannah higher again. “Fine.”
“Fine means yes?”
“It means one meal.”
“I’ll take it.”
Tanner shook his head and started back toward the chairs before the conversation could go anywhere else. Miles fell into step beside him, then stopped.
“I’ll come by around seven-thirty,” he said quietly.
Tanner glanced back. “You’re very sure of yourself.”
“No. I’m making sure you know the plan.”
Going back to his chair, Tanner sat down with Savannah still half asleep against him. Cody looked over, took one look at Tanner’s face, then grinned so wide Tanner considered hitting him.
Tanner pointed at him. “Don’t.”
Cody lifted both hands, still grinning. “I didn’t say a word.”
“You were about to.”
“I didn’t, though.”
Orsen sat back down on the bench and looked between them. “You said yes, then.”
Tanner stared at him. “You people are exhausting, and I’ve only just met you.”
“That’s also not a denial and we can get more annoying if you want.” Cody continued grinning.
Tanner muttered something under his breath that made Orsen smile and Cody laugh outright. Savannah stirred at the sound, and Tanner automatically rubbed her back until she settled. By the time he looked up again, both of them had moved on and Tanner sighed in relief.
He stayed another half hour after that before finally saying he needed to get Savannah home.
Cody pushed leftovers at him again. TJ told him to text when he got back so they’d know he’d made it home.
Toni said goodbye softly so she wouldn’t wake her.
Carter waved from the gate with Macy asleep against his shoulder.
It should have felt too much, but it didn’t.
It was actually nice, and Tanner decided not to look into that.
By the time Tanner got Savannah home, got her shoes off, cleaned the chalk from her face, and settled her into bed, he was ready for bed himself. He stood in the kitchen with one hand on the counter and his phone in the other.
The preschool message was still there. He opened it, read it again, and quickly locked the screen.
Standing for another minute in the dark kitchen, Tanner listened to the old house settle around him and tried not to think too far ahead.
If people started asking more questions, he wasn’t ready.
He knew that. Nothing about tonight had changed it.
If anything, tonight had only made it clearer what he could lose.
After a moment he put the phone down, checked Savannah once more, and headed for bed.