Chapter Twenty-Five
M iles stayed at the kitchen table and let quiet settle Tanner.
He sat opposite him with both hands around the glass of water, though he was only taking the smallest of sips.
The worst of the shaking had eased since they came back into the house, but it hadn’t gone completely.
His fingers still tightened now and then against the glass, and every few seconds his attention shifted somewhere else.
Miles kept his voice low. “You want tea or coffee?”
Tanner shook his head. “No.”
“Alright.”
Miles left it there. He didn’t push Tanner to talk. He could see he was exhausted, but he was still holding himself tight, and every small sound in the house pulled his attention before he caught himself and forced it back down.
“Miles.” He looked at him. Tanner kept his eyes on the table. “You should go home.”
“No.”
Tanner lifted his head then. “I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
“I’m home now.”
“Yeah.”
“Then go.”
Miles held his gaze. “No.”
There was no point softening it. He knew Tanner didn’t need soft right then. He needed the truth.
A knock sounded at the front door and Tanner froze. His eyes came off the glass and his eyes went straight to the door.
“Who’s that?” he asked.
Miles stood slowly. “TJ.”
Tanner’s head snapped up. “You called him.”
“I texted him from the bus station.”
The knock came again and Tanner pushed back from the table and got to his feet. “I’m not doing this tonight.”
Miles stayed where he was. “You’re not.”
“Then send him away.”
“I will if that’s what you want.” Tanner stared at him. Miles kept his tone even. “He’s on his own. He’s not here in uniform. He’s not here to start anything in your kitchen.”
From the other side of the door, TJ spoke. “Tanner. It’s me. I’m on my own. I’m not here to question you. If you want me to go, I’ll go.”
Tanner rubbed a hand over his face and looked toward the stairs.
“Your house. Your call.”
Tanner took a breath that didn’t do much to steady him. “Open it.”
Miles nodded once, walked to the door, and unlocked it. TJ stood on the porch in jeans and a dark jacket. His eyes went past Miles to Tanner in the kitchen doorway.
TJ stepped inside only after Tanner failed to tell him not to. Even then, he stayed by the door.
“Tanner.”
Tanner didn’t answer.
TJ’s gaze flicked once toward the stairs, then back. “Savannah asleep?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
“I’m not here to interrogate you,” he said. “I’m not here to make tonight worse. I wanted to see for myself that you were both alright, and I wanted you to hear this from me now.” He paused. “We’re going to do everything we can to keep Savannah with you.”
Tanner’s face hardened. “That’s easy to say.”
TJ nodded. “It is, but I’m still going to help.”
“Sit down.” Miles said quietly.
TJ took the chair nearest the door. Tanner stayed where he was for another second, then came back to the table and sat. He picked the glass up again, then put it back down without drinking.
Miles stayed on his feet and leaned against the counter.
TJ rested his forearms on the table. “Nothing starts tonight. No forms. No calls. No meetings.”
Tanner gave a rough laugh. “That supposed to calm me down?”
“It’s supposed to tell you what tonight is.”
Tanner’s mouth tightened. “And tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow you make contact.”
“You mean I cooperate.”
“I mean you do what you have to.”
“That’s the same thing.”
“No.” TJ’s voice stayed level. “It isn’t.”
Tanner’s fingers tightened around the glass. “It is when they’re the ones deciding what happens.”
TJ didn’t argue. “They make decisions, yeah. That part is true. What matters now is whether you give them a reason to treat you as someone trying to do this properly or someone they have to chase.”
Tanner shook his head. “You make that sound simple.”
“I didn’t say it would be simple.”
Miles took a mug from the cupboard and put it on the counter and began making Tanner a drink even though he knew he wouldn’t drink it.
“You’re already doing some things right. Food in the house. Her room sorted. Daycare lined up. Doctor on the list. That matters.”
Tanner’s head came up. “How do you know about the doctor?”
“I told him you were handling things,” Miles said before TJ could answer. “Not your whole life.”
“Nobody reasonable is looking at this as you against the world unless you turn it into that.”
Tanner rubbed a hand over his mouth. “Right.”
“You ran because you panicked and that was a bad move, but you came back. That matters too.”
Miles placed the mug in front of Tanner and pushed the drink toward him.
Tanner glanced at it. “I said no.”
“Drink it or don’t.”
Tanner said nothing after that, but he wrapped both hands around the mug anyway.
Upstairs, a floorboard creaked and all three men looked up.
Then Savannah’s voice drifted down. “Tanny?”
Tanner was out of the chair before either of the others moved. “I’ve got her.”
TJ watched him go and let out a breath. “That’s what I mean.”
Miles looked toward the stairs. “Yeah.”
They heard Tanner upstairs then, his voice lower and steadier than it had been with them. A few quiet words. Savannah answering him. The bed creaking. The sounds of him settling her.
TJ scrubbed a hand over his face. “He scared the hell out of me tonight.”
“Me too.”
“He won’t do it again.”
Miles turned his head. “You can’t know that.”
“No.” TJ looked at the stairs again. “But I know he came back.”
When Tanner came back down, Savannah was on his hip wrapped in her blanket. She had the rabbit tucked under one arm, and her face was buried in Tanner’s shoulder.
“She wanted water,” Tanner said.
Miles took a plastic cup from the cupboard and filled it. He crossed the kitchen slowly and waited until Tanner nodded before handing it over. Savannah took it with both hands and drank while still clinging to him.
TJ stood. He moved carefully so he would not startle either of them. “I’ll head out.” TJ said, “I meant what I said. Nothing happens tonight. When tomorrow comes we deal with it.”
Tanner shifted Savannah higher on his hip. “And if I don’t answer the phone?”
TJ did not blink. “Then Miles knocks on your door. If that doesn’t work, I do.”
Tanner closed his eyes for a second and opened them again. “Jesus.”
TJ nodded once. “Exactly.”
He left after that and Miles locked the door behind him and turned the porch light off before going back into the kitchen.
Tanner was still standing in the same place, Savannah nearly asleep against him again.
“You want me to take her up?” Miles asked.
“No.”
Miles nodded. “Alright.”
He followed them upstairs a few steps behind, and from the bedroom door, he watched Tanner start to lower her onto the bed. Savannah made a small, tired sound and grabbed a fistful of his shirt.
“Stay,” she mumbled.
Tanner looked at Miles. “She means me.”
“I know.”
Tanner got onto the bed on top of the covers with Savannah curled into his chest. He kept one hand moving over her back until her breathing settled again.
After a minute he looked at Miles. “Can you check the windows?”
“Yeah.”
Miles went through the house and checked each one. When he came upstairs again, Tanner was still awake. “All locked,” Miles said.
Tanner nodded. “Thanks.”
“There’s a couch downstairs,” Tanner said.
“There is.”
“That wasn’t me offering.”
Miles almost smiled. “I know.”
A tired sound left Tanner. He looked down at Savannah and then back at him. “She’ll wake if I move.”
“And?”
“And if she wakes and you’re gone…” He trailed off.
Miles held his gaze. “I’m not gone.”
Tanner looked away first. “Chair’s there.”
Miles glanced at the chair by the window. “That thing will wreck my back.”
That got another one of those small sounds from Tanner. “There’s room on the bed,” he said. “Don’t make it weird.”
“Wasn’t planning to.”
Miles took off his boots and lay down on the far side of the bed over the covers, leaving space between them. Savannah stayed tucked against Tanner’s chest.
For a while neither of them said anything and then Tanner spoke into the room without looking at him. “He thinks I’ll run again.”
Miles looked at the ceiling. “He thinks you might if you get scared enough.”
“That’s the same thing.”
“No, they’re not.”
Tanner’s hand moved over Savannah’s back. “You’re really into saying no to me tonight.”
“You’re saying things that aren’t true.”
They were both silent for a minute then Tanner asked, “Do you think I’ll do it again?”
Miles took his time to answer. “I think tonight scared the hell out of you.”
“That wasn’t the question.”
“I know. I think if you were on your own, maybe.” Miles kept his voice low. “I also think you’re not on your own.”
Savannah shifted and pushed one foot out from under the blanket and Tanner tucked it back under. After a while Tanner said, “I left that note because I didn’t want Mrs. Hemsworth thinking I’d taken Savannah and disappeared.”
“I know.”
“I know you know. I’m telling you why.” Tanner stared at the ceiling. “I still did something stupid.”
“Yeah.”
A couple of minutes later, he said, “You turned the letter over.”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
Miles kept his eyes on the ceiling. “You’ve had enough for one night.”
Tanner was quiet for so long Miles thought he was done. “Thanks,” he murmured.
Miles answered the same way. “Yeah.”
A minute later Tanner reached across carefully and switched off the lamp and the room dropped into darkness.
Miles listened to the house settle around them. He listened to Savannah breathe and to Tanner stay awake. A car went past outside and Tanner went still until the sound faded.
“It’s nothing,” Miles said.
“I know.”
Later, Savannah rolled away from Tanner in her sleep and Tanner woke up immediately.
“She’s fine,” Miles said.
Tanner exhaled. “Yeah.”
“You alright?”
A pause. “No.”
Miles looked up into the dark. “I’m here.”
There was another stretch of silence followed and then Tanner asked, “You still here?”
“Yeah.”
Tanner said nothing after that and a little later, his breathing changed as he fell asleep.
By the time the room started to lighten around the curtains, he’d fallen into a heavier sleep.
Savannah was sprawled sideways with the rabbit tucked under her arm.
Tanner had turned onto his side facing her, one hand close enough to reach if she moved.
Miles stayed where he was and watched them both before looking back at the ceiling.
When Tanner woke, he would still be there.