43. Tanner
43
TANNER
I pick up a framed photo and smirk. It is of her and her mother, taken a few decades ago, I would bet. Obviously, Halloween or a party because they are both dressed up. Her mom is a witch and Victoria is in a round pumpkin suit, with an orange face. My eyes canvass the entire shelf of photos. They are all of her and her mom, a few of her and Fiona, but no men. None of Josh or her father.
Putting it down, I walk around some more. It is small, quaint. Decorated extremely well. I can even see some of her uniqueness for finding quality decor, as the fabric of the cushions on her sofa look like nothing I have seen before yet match the rug almost perfectly. Both eye-catching and subtle.
When she mentioned at lunch the other day that she still had her apartment, I was dumbfounded. Shocked, really, because I thought she was all in on Whispers. On me. I have felt a little off since then, wondering if she isn’t feeling the same connection to me as I am to her. It feels good together. I have never felt like this with anyone before, not like I do with her. She said that she kept it as a backup, which does make sense the more I thought about it. A young woman coming to a small town on her own, you always need a backup plan. But I hope now we can gather her things and she can be a permanent Whispers resident.
I can’t help it that the fear of another woman leaving still haunts me.
A knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts.
“Can you answer that?” she calls out, and I turn and open the door.
“Oh, you’re not Victoria,” an older man says with a frown.
“Tanner Whiteman. Victoria is just busy at the moment,” I tell him, sizing him up.
“Well, this is her lease renewal,” he says, holding up some paperwork. My heart feels like it stops.
“Lease renewal?” I understand she kept this apartment for a backup, but why does she need to renew again? She is staying in Whispers, isn’t she?
“Twelve months, as is required. She just needs to sign and then send them back.” He pushes the papers into my hand, and I swallow roughly as I nod to him. Grinding my jaw, my fear mixes with frustration and confusion.
“Have a good day,” he says, turning and walking away like he didn’t just drop a bomb on my life. My gut feels heavy as I look at the paperwork, my eyes running over what it entails.
“Who was it?” she asks from behind me as she places two bags near the sofa .
I close the door and turn to face her.
“You’re renewing your lease?” I ask her, but my words come out with bite. My body is thrumming, and she looks a little taken aback, so I take a deep breath and try to get a handle on my feelings.
“Oh. It is building policy. I have one more month on the current lease, and then… I mean, I have no idea how I will do with the job Griffin gave me. If it doesn’t work out, then—”
“It will work out, baby girl,” I cut her off, my shoulders lowering a little. I understand her concern.
“But Tanner…”
“No buts. Tear it up.” I hold the papers out to her. I feel tense, like she is slipping from me, and I don’t like it. The papers in my hand crumple at the corners due to how tightly I am gripping them.
“Tanner,” she says my name in warning, and my frown is back.
“Tear it up,” I grit out, needing to see her commit to staying in Whispers. With me. She can’t leave me. I don’t think I could take it.
“You’re not letting me finish. I need to look after myself. Once I know how things are panning out, I can make a more permanent decision.” I can tell she’s becoming upset as her eyes narrow and her hand finds her hip, and it brings me back to how we started. All that bickering and fire, only this time, it’s more sad than it is exciting. She’s not getting it. That I’d do anything for her.
“I can look after you,” I tell her simply, hoping to ease her fears, but her frown deepens .
“I don’t want you to look after me. I can look after myself.”
I should have known she would be stubborn.
“I don't want you to be stubborn.” While I love her independence, I need her to know that I’ve got her, no matter what.
“You are so frustrating,” she says, rubbing her head like I give her a headache. When I step closer, she takes a step back, and it only increases my worry.
“If you are going to leave Whispers…”
“I'm not leaving Whispers!” she shouts, her hands flying out to her sides.
“Then why are you signing a lease?” I demand, then take another step closer. She doesn’t move away this time, only huffing as she shakes her head at me.
“Because, like I said, I needed a backup and building protocol says I need to sign for twelve months. If I could only sign for a few months instead, I would. What are you not understanding?”
“What are you not understanding? I’m your backup,” I tell her again. The look on her face could sear me to the spot, but even so, I step forward a little more.
I am not sure how much clearer I can make it. I will pay for everything she needs. I will get her anything she wants. This woman came into my life like a whirlwind, and I want her in it forever.
“I almost married a man I stupidly thought was my support in life and look how that turned out!” she yells, her gaze on mine as she now looks up at me.
“Don't be putting me in the same sentence as that asshole,” I grit out. I swear to God, I am going to pick her up and not let her go.
“You can't pay for me to live, Tanner. I need a job,” she says, taking a deep breath as her tone eases.
“I can, and while I want you to be fulfilled in your career, I want you to know that I’ve got you. You can do whatever you want in life to make yourself happy. Money doesn’t need to be a concern. I’ll catch you, baby girl.” Bringing myself one last step away, we’re now toe to toe. I need to touch her, be close to her.
“I need to catch myself,” she says softly, but now she won’t look at me. My frustration settles in my chest, and I rub the ache.
“You are so damn stubborn,” I say, shaking my head, exasperated.
“You are so demanding,” she counters, and any softness I may have brought to the surface completely dissolves.
“Hell yes, I am. Now rip it up.” My voice rises, and I see her shoulders tighten. My heart is thumping. I have never wanted anything more in my life than this woman, and I am aching to secure our future together. But she won’t let me.
She doesn’t respond for a moment, and the silence has me on pins and needles. Instead, she bends down and picks up her bags, walking past me, snatching the paperwork from my hands as she heads for the door.
“I’m done talking about this, Tanner. Let’s go.”
Neither of us won this one, and I know neither of us feels good about it either. I watch the empty doorway she steps through, feeling sick to my stomach. Her independence and stubbornness are the things I admire most about her, and now they are working against me.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I walk after her, locking the apartment up, and hoping like hell I didn’t just fuck this all up already.