Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
NOW | JAX
My mouth crashes into hers and everything in me fucking shatters. All I want is her skin on mine—no barriers, no bullshit, just her. Her tongue finds mine and she moans as I drag my mouth down her throat, leaving a trail.
I haven’t even touched her right and I know—nothing’s stopping me from taking her tonight. Nothing. This isn’t hunger, it’s fucking survival.
“I’m not hurting you tonight,” I grind out, a promise I don’t fucking trust myself to keep as I peel her shirt off. Inch by inch. Every second is a goddamn war between my power and my desire.
My mouth latches onto her nipple and I almost lose my fucking mind—buried in her, sucking hard while she gasps my name. I pull back just long enough to breathe. I gotta slow down. I gotta get control.
“I won’t hurt you tonight,” I say again, voice rougher now, mostly for me.
She kisses me again, frantic, desperate, refusing to let this moment go soft. “I’m not,” she breathes against my mouth. “Scared,” she adds, nipping at my lip. “Of you,” she finishes, her hand moving to my cock.
Her words stop me cold. The lights flicker and then the whole room goes black. I don’t move or breathe. I’m standing there in the sudden darkness, listening to her soft, confused gasp, wondering if I can do this.
“Jax?” she whispers, voice trembling slightly. “What are you doing?”
I don’t answer because I’m still deciding how to handle this.
“Come back here,” she whispers.
I grab the pillows and stack them in the center of the bed. Control where I can get it. I take her gently and guide her there without a word.
“Jax,” she whispers, her voice shaky as she settles against the pillows. “Whatever you’re about to do… just do it. Don’t hold back because of me.”
I slide her shorts down slow, careful around that fucking brace—careful even though every instinct in me is screaming to rip everything off and damn the consequences.
She’s wearing gray lace panties, and I can see how they’re soaked through right in the center, a perfect fucking dark circle showing me exactly what I do to her. My mouth waters as I stare, my eyes glued to the spot. I don’t even try to look away.
“Fucking perfect,” I breathe, tracing the edge of the wet spot with my thumb. “Look at this. You’re already dripping for me and I’ve barely touched you.”
My face finds her underwear and I inhale deep, pressing my nose right against that damp fabric.
Full moon or not, her scent alone will always bring me to my fucking knees. I peel the fabric away, resisting the urge to tear it apart just because I can. The lace sticks to her before releasing, revealing her glistening cunt.
“Beautiful,” I growl, wadding the soaked lace in my fist. I bring them to my nose one more time, inhaling deep, getting my fill before I shove them into my back pocket. “Think I’ll keep these.”
She smiles as I lift her legs—one at a time—and open her as far as she’ll go. A split only her body could ever hold.
I step back to look at her. Naked. Fucking open. Waiting for me.
She reaches for herself and I snatch her wrist instantly. “Don’t you fucking dare touch what’s mine.”
She stills at once and moves her hand away. She tilts her head back—surrendering to the moment. To me.
I move in again, breathing her in like I’m starving. My tongue tastes her slowly—like this is the only thing in the world worth savoring.
Her hips buck against my mouth, seeking more. I could rush this. End it fast. Give us both what we’re desperate for. But then it would be over, and I’m terrified this is all I’ll ever allow us to have. So I don’t, I flatten my tongue over her clit, pausing to swallow her sweetness.
I watch her grip the pillow, the other hand fisting my hair and forcing me back where she needs me.
“Please,” she whimpers.
“Please what?” I tease, pulling back just enough to watch her squirm. “Please stop? Or please don’t ever stop?”
“Please don’t stop,” she begs, voice shaky.
I grin against her. “That’s what I thought.”
My tongue slides inside her, fucking her slow and deep while my thumb circles her clit. Her back arches off the pillows, her mouth open in a silent scream.
“Fuck,” I groan, pulling back to look at her. “I could fucking drown in this pussy and die happy.”
I slide my hand up slowly, teasing her entrance with just one finger—barely there. Enough to make her hips jerk. Enough to make her legs tremble and try to close.
I hold her open and look up at her, meeting her eyes, and say it low and steady: “Be good.”
I push one finger inside her. She greets me with heat so intense I almost come in my pants just feeling it again—remembering exactly how it feels to be inside her. She trembles and I add a second finger. She moans louder, her eyes roll back and her body trembles.
“More,” she cries out.
“Don’t be a greedy rabbit,” I growl against her slick skin.
I lean down, sucking her clit into my mouth while my fingers keep working her. Her thighs shake around my head. I add a third finger, then a fourth, stretching her, filling her completely. I know she can take it. Then I pull them out, leaving her empty and clenching around nothing.
“Don’t—” she tries to beg.
“Not yet,” I snarl, cutting her off. “Tonight you’re coming on my cock.”
I pull back, licking my fingers clean while watching her recover. She’s a fucking mess—flushed, sweaty, and beautiful.
She groans, furious and needy. “Come back here.”
“Patience,” I say, grinning as I stand up. “I need to be in control. Every fucking second.”
I stand, forcing air into my lungs. My hands shake like a junkie’s.
I’m about to drag my pants down when I see them—moving on their own. Sliding down my legs.
Her eyes widen. So do mine.
My cock jerks, hard and ready. And Sisk licks her lips.
I take another breath, telling myself once more to not hurt her.
But then—a voice. Inside my head. Not mine. SHOW HER WHO’S IN CHARGE. MARK HER. brEAK HER SO NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE HER.
Fear claws up my spine. Not of the voice. Of myself. I lock up.
“Please Jax,” she whispers, reaching for me. “I need you.”
“No,” I snap too fast. “Get away from me.”
She looks confused for a second, then angry.
“You were right,” I force out, every word tasting like blood. “I don’t want you.” I let my eyes drop, a deliberate, dismissive glance over her naked body. “This was a mistake.”
I grab my shirt from the floor. “I don’t have time for this shit.
You’re already getting attached, already looking at me like I’m supposed to care.
I fuck to forget, not to play house.” The words scrape my throat raw.
“There are a million other holes in this city that understand the rules, that don’t require this much fucking babying.
” I finally look at her. “This isn’t worth the headache. ”
The words hit their mark. Her face crumbles before she catches it, forcing it into a blank, cold mask.
“I shouldn’t have started,” I mutter, turning away. “Just go to bed.”
I don’t wait to see what it does to her. I snatch my pants up, yanking them on so fast I almost trip. I move toward the door before the voice can speak again—before I do something I can’t take back.
Behind me, the room goes silent. Then, I feel it.
A spike of her rage, and the sound of something heavy slicing through the air behind me.
Her fucking hairbrush. It stops an inch from the back of my skull, then clatters to the floor.
My magic. My fucking shield. I wish it landed. I wish she’d fucking drawn blood.
For the first time, I don’t know if I walked away to save her—or if I just finished twisting the knife.