Chapter 37 #2
Sisk shakes her head. “Who says I like you?” she challenges, a playful glint in her eyes.
“Then you’d better stop looking at me like that.”
“Or what?”
“Careful, Rabbit.”
Her hands move to the front of my jeans, her fingers fumbling with the zipper.
“Guess the bad boy does get the girl after all,” she whispers.
“I can be nice.”
She gives a small, almost imperceptible shake of her head. “Don’t.”
Her hand slides down, pressing against me through the denim, then she slides under them, to the thin cotton of my boxers, so close to my dick that I have to count—literally count—not to come right then and ruin everything.
Every nerve in my body is screaming, my hips jerking forward without my permission. Her touch is hesitant at first, then a little bolder, her fingers tracing the hard length of me, and I swear I see stars behind my eyelids.
My hand covers hers. “Wait,” I breathe out, my voice tight. I guide her fingers up, over the waistband of my boxers. Her eyes are locked on mine. “Here,” I let out, pushing her hand under the fabric.
The first time her skin touches mine, a hiss of air escapes my teeth. Her fingers wrap around me, and it takes everything I have not to lose it. She’s exploring, learning the shape of me, and it’s the best goddamn torture I’ve ever felt.
Her hand drifts lower, her fingers gently brushing against my balls. My whole body jerks, a violent, uncontrollable shudder. “Fuck,” I grunt, my eyes squeezing shut.
She freezes, pulling her hand back slightly. “Sorry,” she whispers, her voice small, nervous. “I didn’t—”
“No, no, it’s good,” I say quickly, my hand finding hers again.
I guide her back to my dick, my own fingers closing over hers to show her how to hold me, how to move.
“It’s all good. Just… sensitive there. You can…
yeah. Like that.” I let out another shaky breath as her hand starts moving again, a little more confident this time.
I move my hand over her denim, my palms grabbing both sides of her ass. I hitch her leg up around my hip and the new angle punches a sound out of both of us.
She grinds against me, and I groan into her mouth, overwhelmed by how good this already feels.
We start moving, finding a rhythm that’s all instinct and no skill.
The concrete is hard against my back but we’re crossing a line together, fumbling our way through it, and I don’t give a shit about anything else.
She pushes herself up suddenly. “Hold on.”
The panic is instant. “I—”
She’s already moving, scrambling up and disappearing toward the small maintenance shed at the far end of the roof.
I can’t breathe. My mind is racing, a fucking train wreck of thoughts.
This is it. She’s realized what a mistake this is.
She’s changed her mind. I’m left here on the roof, hard as a rock, looking like a complete fool.
A minute feels like an hour. Then she’s back, a small cardboard box in her arms. She sets it down, takes a long sip from a water bottle she pulls out, and then unfolds a thick wool blanket with practiced, steady motions.
The contrast between her calm and the animal inside me screaming to be let loose is almost insulting.
“What’s all this?” I manage to ask, my voice tight with a mix of crushing relief and utter confusion.
“No, I haven’t been planning to have sex for months if that’s what you’re thinking,” she says, a small, knowing smile playing on her lips as she spreads the blanket over the ground. “I just come out here a lot. To think. To practice. I have a few essentials.”
She settles back down on the blanket, and the vibes between us shift from nervous to intimate.
I reach for her, and instead of hesitating, she just goes for it, shrugging her jacket off and letting it fall behind her.
The air must hit her skin because I see the bumps rise on her arms, but she doesn’t move to cover herself.
My hand goes to her waist, her skin warm and soft under my palm. I slide it up, feeling the curve of her side until I’m cupping her breast again. Her nipple goes hard against my hand instantly.
I need to slow the fuck down or this is going to be over before it starts.
“Since it’s my first time too,” she says, her voice a little shaky right against my lips, “and I get the yearly shot, like everyone else… maybe we don’t need protection.”
Her words go straight to my dick. The thought of it, of nothing between us… “Okay,” I grunt. Screw slow. I rip my shirt over my head and start fumbling with my jeans, shoving them and my boxers down in one desperate motion.
All I can see is her, watching me. For a moment, I feel exposed, but the way she’s looking at me… all that self-conscious shit just vanishes.
She shimmies out of her pants, and my eyes track them down before snapping back up. She’s still wearing her black panties. I have to swallow before I can even talk. “Those,” I manage to say, my voice rougher than I intended. “Take ‘em off.”
She slides them down her legs and kicks them away. And then she’s… there, lying back on the blanket, completely bare. I stare at her. I mean, I’ve seen pictures, I’ve seen videos, but this is… real. Right in front of me. It’s not like anything I could’ve imagined.
The soft curve of her stomach, the way her thighs are pressed together, and that little patch of hair pointing right to where I want to be.
My brain just stops. It’s like all the blood in my body rushes south, and I’m just staring, completely frozen.
I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do.
My hands are hanging at my sides, useless.
Do I just dive in? Do I look first? I feel my mouth go dry.
This is it. This is the part I’ve only ever thought about when I was alone, and now it’s here, and I’m terrified I’m going to fuck it up.
I hear the word come out of my own mouth before I even think it. “Wow.”
She flinches, her hands instantly moving to cover herself. “What?”
My brain catches up a second too late. “Fuck, sorry, I mean…” I trail off, my eyes still glued to her. I actually say the next part out loud. “I just… I suddenly understand all poetry ever written. And also, none of it.”
Her legs close, a defensive, protective movement. She just shakes her head, looking away from me. “Don’t just stare at it, Jax. Do something.”
Before I can say another stupid word, she reaches up, grabs the back of my neck, and pulls me down for a kiss.
I move over her, kneeling on the blanket. I don’t try to say anything else. I just lean down, my actions finally catching up to what my words failed to do. My hips move on their own, grinding against her, needing that friction. She pushes right back, lifting her hips to meet me.
Her hand slides between us, her fingers wrapping around me, guiding me right where I need to be. The first touch of her against me makes me shudder.
I push forward, slow, watching her face. There’s resistance, this incredible tightness that makes me stop, but then I feel her relax, and I slide a little more inside with a gasp. Fuck.
“Are you okay?” I ask as she winces.
“Yes,” she breathes, pushing her hips up against me, urging me deeper.
By the time I’m all the way in, both of us are breathing like we just ran a mile. She looks down, and I make the mistake of looking with her.
I pull back just a little, and that’s when I see it.
My dick, slick with her, is streaked with red.
My whole body freezes. Every instinct screams that this is bad, that I should stop, that I’ve hurt her.
But then a darker, possessive thought takes over.
I’m the first. The only one who’s ever seen this, who’s ever been this deep.
A primal, fucked-up part of me is proud of it, turned on by the proof that she’s mine.
“Does it hurt?” I ask, my voice low, rough. I’m not just asking, I need to know.
“A little, but don’t stop.”
The urge to do everything and anything at the same time is overwhelming.
I start to move, finding a rhythm, and her hands are all over me, on my back, tangled in my hair, grabbing my ass, pulling me closer.
She lets out a moan and then, “Jax,” she gasps, her voice tight with pleasure, it’s my undoing.
My name on her lips while my dick is inside her tight pussy. I can die right now.
“I’m close.” I tell her. “I’m sorry, it’s just too…”
“It’s okay,” she whispers, and I drive into her one last time, burying myself as deep as I can go. The pleasure hits me like a tidal wave, my whole body jerking as I come.
I kiss her as I recover, afraid of moving out of her yet.
“Wow,” she says after a long silence.
“Yeah,” I agree, my face buried in her hair. “Wow.”
I roll off her, pulling her into my arms. She rests her head on my chest.
“Well,” Sisk says, turning on her side to face me. “That was definitely something stupid.”
I reach out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Happy birthday.”
She smiles, and in that moment, with the city lights behind her and the taste of her still on my lips, I just know. I’m completely, totally fucked. I’d follow her into The Pit itself if she asked. I’m not even gonna try to fight it.