Chapter 72 #2
We sit there smoking in silence, until, he cuts a look at me. “So,” he says, flicking ash into the void. “What’s really pissing you off? Because we both know it’s not me.”
“It’s always you Jax. But I also need a job.”
He nods slowly like this is a very serious revelation.
“Well,” he says. “The bar’s not exactly thriving, but if you want—”
“I would rather clean prison toilets.”
He turns his head, a slow, impressed smile spreading across his face. “Wow.”
“What?” I ask, taking a long drag.
“That’s the level we’re at, huh?” he says. “I’ve officially sunk below the shit of Tar City.”
“Pretty much.”
He lets out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “Good to know. Means I can only go up from here.”
“I think it’s a permanent position,” I tell him.
“Fuck buddies aside,” he says.
“Fucking fuck buddies aside,” I correct, deadpan.
He grins.
“You know, you could try harder,” I tell him.
“Try harder?”
“Yeah, ask me questions, talk to me,” I say.
“Tell me about your… stuff.” I gesture vaguely at him, at the space where the light pole used to be.
“I mean, what the fuck was that downstairs, Jax? You bent steel with your mind. That’s not ‘stuff,’ that’s…
impossible. You could actually make a decent friend if you tried and actually talked to me,” I say, flicking my own ash over the edge.
“Instead of just using your… whatever the fuck that is… to get me naked.”
“Oh, so you’re saying you’d rather me talk to you than bend you over every flat surface we encounter?”
“Yes,” I say, maybe too quickly.
“Liar,” he grunts.
I shift, uncomfortable.
“Tell me,” I press.
He runs a hand through his hair. “Look, it’s fucked up, okay?
I’m just trying to get by each day without losing my fucking mind.
Not much to tell besides, I can’t control it and I can’t give it back.
I hate it but… doesn’t matter.” He looks up to the moon.
“Alright? Enough about me. You tell me ‘friend’,” he says, making the word sound like an insult.
“Why the hell did you come back? Because I know that was your dream you walked away from.”
I look away.
“The truth, Sisk.”
“The truth?” I shrug. “I don’t know.”
He studies me. “I’d feel like a real asshole if I was the reason you’re back here.”
“It has nothing to do with you, okay?” The lie is so convincing I almost believe it myself.
“Fine.”
I take another drag. “I do miss having my own place though. Really not in the mood to go home.”
“You can crash at my place.”
“No thanks.”
He snorts. “Let me guess. You’d rather sleep in a dumpster behind a butcher shop.”
“Yeah.”
He sighs dramatically, clutching his chest. “But I’m so lonely there. I promise I won’t even try to fuck you. We can just braid each other’s hair and you can tell me all about your feelings.”
I flip him off.
He laughs. “Please? I’m dying to know all about your exes.”
“Exes? Really?” I lean back slightly. “Last I remember, you weren’t a fan of Lucas.”
“Fuck boring perfect Lucas with a small dick.”
“His dick is not small.”
“Yes it is. You are just trying to piss me off.”
I lean back, feigning surprise. “Is it working?”
“Nah,” he says, but I see the way his jaw tightens, the way his knuckles go white where he grips the ledge. “You’re gonna need to try harder than that.”
I lean in, lowering my voice to a whisper. “He was actually really gentle. He’d take his time, you know? He’d—”
“Shut the fuck up, Sisk,” he snaps, his voice low and cold, a stark contrast to the humor from a moment ago. “The fuck? You think I want to hear about him playing house with you? About him putting his fucking hands on what’s mine?”
“Sorry,” I say, my voice dripping with fake sweetness. “You said try harder. And last I checked, I’m not yours. You don’t do the boyfriend thing, remember?”
He just stares at me, his gaze burning with a fury that’s both terrifying and thrilling. “You are something else, you know.”
“You should get a dog,” I say, trying to lighten the suffocating mood.
“A dog?”
“Yeah. Big fluffy one.”
He turns toward me again, eyes glinting. “Would you come over if I did?”
I stare at him.
He grins. “You could teach dance. You know, for a job.”
The words bother me more than he probably intended.
“I don’t dance anymore,” I say flatly and take another drag from the cigarette. “I just need a job. Something to pay the bills. Help my parents.” I glance at him. “Maybe I should go work at the Redline too.”
His head snaps toward me.
“The Redline?”
“Yeah.”
“No.”
I raise an eyebrow.
“No?”
“No.”
“It’s not up to you.”
“You saw earlier. I’ve got ways of getting my point across.”
The memory of the light pole twisting like a wet noodle flashes in my mind.
“So,” I say, exhaling smoke, my voice a little too steady. “Magic, huh?”
He glances at me sideways. “Don’t sound so impressed.”
I stare at the sky, refusing to look at him. “I’m deciding if I should be impressed or deeply concerned.”
He snorts. “You should see what happens when I’m actually mad.”
“Ooo, scary.”
“I could turn you upside down and not let you down until you’re nice to me.”
“You don’t like nice.”
“Neither do you.”
I glance at him. “You know, we could be friends if you tried a little harder.”
“I’m a great friend.”
“You are not!”
“I’m fucking the best. I just saved you an hour ago.”
“Do you fuck all your friends like that?”
He thinks about it for a bit. “I mean… if they beg.”
I kick him hard.
“Pitfire—” He laughs, rubbing his leg. “Careful. You’re gonna fall off this roof.”
“Your idea to bring a girl high on who-knows-what to a rooftop,” I retort.
“This was actually a terrible idea.” Then his eyes light up suddenly. “I got a better one.”
I look at him, already dreading it. “No. Absolutely not. I’m not letting you take pictures of my feet.”
He laughs. “What is wrong with you?”
“At the moment, or in general? Be more specific.”
“I was going to ask you to let me take you somewhere tomorrow.”
“As a friend or as fuck buddy?”
“As a friend,” he says solemnly. “I promise to keep my dick in my pants.”
I look at him.
“Just this one thing,” he says. “Then I swear I won’t come looking for you again.”
I raise an eyebrow. “A bold promise. And if we bump into each other?”
“I’ll pretend I don’t know you.”
I take one last, long drag from my cigarette, letting the smoke burn my lungs before flicking the butt into the darkness below. “Fine. Now please take me home before I seduce you again and we have to start this all over.”
He just looks at me. “Do you talk to all your friends like that?”
“Only my fuck buddies,” I shoot back.
His smile widens, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “This ‘friend’ thing is going to be fucking torture, isn’t it?”
I push myself to my feet, brushing the dirt from my jeans. “I’m counting on it.”