Chapter 13
13
T ravis pushed through the sleepy fog. “Dammit, Chloe. I’m sorry.”
“I should know better than to surprise you,” she said. “I’m the one who should apologize.” The look of fear on her face had cut right through him.
She rubbed her arms. “I was just going to tell you to go to bed so you don’t wake up with a pain in your neck. You looked uncomfortable.”
He rubbed the scruff on his chin. “I dozed off.”
“You’re welcome to stay in my bed again,” she offered.
“No, I can’t do that to you twice.” They both needed sleep, and the sofa bed wasn’t a replacement.
“I meant with me,” she said before quickly raising her hand. “Platonically, of course. I would never ask you to compromise your position in law enforcement.” This probably wasn’t the right time to point out that he was here for personal reasons and not technically on the job. Despite the strong attraction pulling him toward her in every sense, he wouldn’t cross the line.
“Okay,” he said.
“Are you sure?” she asked. “I can use a separate blanket if it helps.” She issued a sigh. “I just can’t imagine going to bed alone and actually slowing my mind down enough to sleep after everything that’s been happening.”
“I’ll be good with sleeping in the same bed,” he confirmed. He wouldn’t let his attraction get the best of him. “I need to grab a shower first.”
“Would you leave the door open?” she asked, those beautiful blue eyes wide. “I promise not to look, but I’d like to sit in the hallway.”
Chloe was one of the strongest, most determined people he’d ever met. Seeing her freaked out caused his protective instincts to rise to the surface.
“I don’t mind,” he said, hearing the frog in his own throat. He coughed to ease the sudden dryness. What the hell? It wasn’t like he hadn’t known he’d be spending the night with Chloe without spending the night with her. Sleeping in the same bed shouldn’t be a problem, considering how tired they both were. So, why did his pulse race like a teenager who’d been asked to prom by the prettiest girl in school?
Giving himself a mental shrug, he grabbed his overnight bag and headed toward the bathroom. Chloe followed, then sat down with her back against the wall in the hallway. She stared at the wall.
He kept the door cracked as he showered.
“You’re really good with Grayson,” Chloe called out to him as he undressed. He figured small talk probably kept her mind busy. She had to be missing her son.
“He’s a good kid,” Travis responded. It was true. Grayson had angelic cheeks, a curious mind, and a sweet smile. To be young and innocent again. That was worth protecting and reminded him why he’d signed up for this job. Of course, he was third-generation law enforcement, so it was in his blood.
“Wasn’t your entire family in law enforcement?” she asked, surprising him with the question.
“Three generations of us,” he said with pride.
“Why have I never met your parents?” she continued. “Or seen them around town?”
“My father was killed during a riot while working as an officer in Dallas,” Travis said. He never spoke about his family. Not to anyone.
“What about your mother?” she asked.
“Mom developed a drinking problem after Dad died,” he said. “My grandfather had retired from Dallas PD a couple of years prior and promised my grandmother a quiet life. She got to choose where they moved to next, and she wanted to come back to her childhood home, so they moved here and then brought me with them while Mom got cleaned up.”
“I always wondered why you lived with your grandparents,” she said.
“Mom never could pull herself out of it,” he continued.
“I’m sorry to hear about your mom.”
“Thank you. She did the best she could with what she had to work with,” he said, trying to play it off like it hadn’t hurt him. “She wrapped our car around a tree after partying one night. That’s when my grandfather came and picked me up.”
“How old were you?” she asked.
“Ten,” he said.
“That’s so young,” she said. Then came, “I was just being born.”
Precisely. He was too old for her. Not to mention, he couldn’t give her another child even if he wanted to. Having a family was out of his reach.
“Do you ever think about having another baby?” he asked before he could reel the question back in. All this family talk had him asking questions that were probably none of his business. Then again, they were speaking about personal topics. He hoped the question wasn’t out of bounds.
Chloe didn’t immediately respond. For a few long seconds, he feared she might be offended by the question.
“I’ve always wanted a big family, but not this way,” she said with a note in her voice he couldn’t quite pinpoint. Sadness? Regret? Longing? “Grayson keeps me busy, so dating has been off the table. It’s funny because I always believed that when I decided to start a family, I’d have kids close in age. There are ten years between Kade and me. By the time I was eight years old, he had already moved away. In some ways, he was a father figure instead of a brother. He still tries to protect me to this day.”
“Life rarely goes according to plan.” He stepped beneath the water and let the warmth seep into his bones.
Chloe half-laughed, half-grunted. “You can say that again. If you’d told me that I would be pregnant at twenty and have a three-year-old by age twenty-four, I would’ve laughed in your face.”
“What would you have done instead?”
“Traveled,” she said with a wistful quality in her voice. “I think that was half the attraction of running off to be with someone in a band. At seventeen, Blake’s world looked glamorous. Traveling across the state with plans to tour the country, then the world, was right up my adventurous alley.” She paused a beat. “Unfortunately, I never made it out of Texas.”
“I’ve heard of the band,” Travis said. “They blew up for a while, didn’t they?”
“Blake convinced me to stay at the apartment in Austin with a promise that he’d take me to see the world,” she said. “He told me he needed to focus on his work while on the road. Turns out, he had a different muse as a travel buddy.”
“You never struck me as the type who would put up with something like that,” he said.
“I didn’t know about her until I was already pregnant,” she explained. “By then, Blake was heavy into drug use, and I was figuring out my exit plan.” Another pause. “Ever notice how life likes to hand you some of the best surprises at the worst possible times?”
“I sure have,” he agreed. For reasons he didn’t want to examine too closely, he didn’t want to tell her what life had handed him.
“Your life seems to be turning out exactly how you wanted it to,” she said.
Boy, was she wrong.
If he could design his life, she’d be in it along with a couple of siblings for Grayson.
Travis needed to get a grip. Had he felt the electrical current between them? Yes. Had she? He believed so.
However, their age difference meant they were in different stages of life. She probably couldn’t wait for Grayson to get old enough to travel with him while Travis was good staying right here in Saddle Junction. He had a job that he loved. He had roots.
What does it mean when you have no one to share it with?
The rogue thought caught him off guard. His life had never felt empty before. Why the sudden shift?
“Thank you for telling me about your background, Trav. It means a lot that you would trust me with something so personal.” Chloe’s heart ached for the ten-year-old boy who’d been uprooted from everything familiar after the death of his father. “Do you have many memories of your father?”
“My dad?” he asked as he emerged from the bathroom in boxers and a T-shirt. The outfit never looked so sexy on anyone else. Trav was that rare mix of gorgeous and humble, though he would laugh at the description. Did he not realize he could have anyone he wanted?
“Yes,” she said before adding, “but it’s okay if you don’t want to answer the question. I was just curious because I don’t have many memories of my own mother.”
“You were quite a bit younger when she left,” he pointed out. “It would be rare for you to have any memories of her.”
“True,” she said, leaving the topic of his father alone. Trav had opened up more than she’d expected. There was no need to push, especially if it made him uncomfortable. “It’s just all those awful memories of Beaumont stored in the gray matter.” She pointed to her head. “Even he had moments where he could be kind. Every year, the day before Christmas Eve, he drove me to Houston to let me pick out a new dress. You know how he was about money. The tighter the wallet, the better, especially when it came to doling out money for his kids. But every year, we drove to Houston, had lunch, and then went to a fancy store where I got to try on anything I wanted and bring one of the dresses home.”
“The Holiday Festival,” he said with a nod. “Seems like I remember you twirling around. Kade would just about bust with pride over his baby sister.”
“I’m not a baby anymore,” she said before she could reel the words back in. Chloe had a problem with speaking before her filter engaged sometimes.
Something that looked a whole lot like desire crossed Trav’s features. Was she seeing what she wanted instead of what was there?
“We should try to get some sleep,” she added.
Trav held out a hand. “Lead the way.”
Chloe walked to the bedroom. It was strange. In three years, the only males she’d been around at night were babies.
Trav turned off the light before joining her in the king bed. It took up most of the room, but she didn’t care. As long as she had enough room to walk around the edges, she was fine. Plus, it felt like a luxury to spread out or sleep diagonally, not that she was tall enough for it to matter a whole lot.
“We were close,” Trav said, his voice quiet and contemplative in the darkness. “By the way, he was a great dad, from what I remember. Took me fishing on his days off. Promised to teach me how to shoot a gun when I was old enough to understand how deadly one could be in the wrong hands or without the right amount of reverence.”
Chloe resisted the urge to reach out and touch Trav. Instead, she tried to soothe the hurt she heard in his voice with words. “He sounds like a great person.”
“He was,” Trav agreed. “He was exactly the kind of dad I wanted to be.”
She took note of the past tense. Did he think parenthood wouldn’t happen for him? He was Kade’s age, thirty-four. Not exactly ancient in terms of baby-making. Or had he given up hope on finding the “one.”
“You would be an amazing father,” she said to him.
“Maybe,” he said. “But that’s not in the cards for everyone. Besides, I’m married to my job.” Why did it sound like he was trying to convince himself of the fact? “And I don’t have time or energy for much else since taking over the sheriff’s spot.”
Excuses?
“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, by the way,” she said. “I’m not sure what I would do without you.”
“We aren’t out of the woods yet,” he pointed out.
“No, we aren’t,” she agreed. “At least I have hope.” Being without her son, even for one or two nights, was the most difficult thing she would ever do. In her mind, she told herself this wasn’t more than an extended sleepover. She hadn’t experienced those growing up but knew they were common. Beaumont hadn’t allowed her to stay at someone’s house all night. Had he been afraid she’d talk? Afraid she might open up to someone outside the family and cause Child Protective Services to end up at his door?
Steady, even breathing told her that Trav had drifted off. He had to be bone tired while healing from the parking lot attack. He’d been too stubborn to go to the ER. Chloe knew a thing or two about stubborn men. All the Sturgess brothers could dig their heels in, right or wrong.
A smile forced itself on her lips at the thought that she could be a bull when she needed to be. Growing up with five older brothers had a way of making you learn how to defend yourself. Kade, her self-designated protector, had left when she was eight. The twins had been a handful during their teenage years. She’d been old enough to remember having to stand her ground with them. Conrad had always been the brooding, quiet one. He’d kept to himself. It was easy to convince yourself that you knew what he was thinking. You’d be wrong about it, too. Just because he didn’t raise his voice or force his opinions on anyone else didn’t mean he agreed.
Now, Chloe was never more aware of the fact.
Beau was still a question mark. She wanted to believe he was in town for altruistic reasons. She wanted to believe he would like to fit in. And she wanted to believe that he wasn’t Beaumont reborn.
The jury was still out when it came to her half-brother. Now that the Christmas and New Year’s were over, she could keep a better eye on him. For the past two months, he’d been head down on the ranch and digging into the books. He’d made a successful bid to keep the family lawyer on while they hired a new one and that person got up to speed. Kade had been so busy with a newborn and new wife that he’d barely had time to really dig into the family business. He’d been holding back, and she couldn’t help but wonder why.
Was her brother giving Beau enough rope to hang himself? Or the benefit of the doubt?
Either way, Beau would show his true intentions in time. Time. Did Chloe have time to give?
Because someone had drugged her, attacked the sheriff, and still hadn’t given up.
Trav shifted and rolled, and the next thing she realized, his arm was around her.
Chloe’s pulse kicked up a few notches. All other thoughts exited as warmth circulated through her and need welled up inside her. She forced her body to relax in his arms as she closed her eyes. It was impossible not to breathe in his male, spicy scent—a scent she’d memorized from the other day.
Being in the same town with Trav with little interaction had been fine. Being in the same bed with him made her want things.
Too bad they weren’t on the same page because she could see herself with this man. Really with him. For the long haul.