Chapter 2
The late autumn sun is shining through the large windows of the mountain solar by the time I get there, illuminating the room and making it feel warmer than it is.
I make my way over to the breakfast table, surprised that not even Veronica is here yet.
My sister is usually the first to arrive and I don't think she was that late coming back from the feast. Unless she went to meet with the Duchesse de Mountnoir.
I'm not sure what the rules are when it comes to that kind of thing, only that Veronica said that the two of them had sex the last time the Duchesse came to Falhaven Castle, and that she was interested in more.
I take a seat and pour myself a cup of tea, but my mind is only half on the task. The rest of me is thinking about the events of last night and wondering if it was all a dream. But I don't think so. I lift my fingers to my lips without meaning to.
The doors to the solar swing open before I can continue down my train of thought, and I look up to see Veronica entering.
"Good morning," I say to my sister.
"You're in a good mood."
"Is there a reason I shouldn't be?" I ask. Though in fairness, after the conversation I had with Mama, I don't think it would be unreasonable of me to be in a bad one. But she doesn't know about that yet.
"Not from what I saw last night," she responds as she makes her way over. "So?"
"So?" I repeat back to her.
"Do you have anything to tell me?"
I frown and look at her. "No."
"Evie!" She sits down in the empty seat that's meant for Solana.
"I don't understand what you want me to tell you," I say.
She lets out a sigh. "I caught you and Nate kissing last night."
"You didn't catch us, we weren't hiding anything."
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "Gods give me strength."
"The gods aren't real," I point out.
"You can't say that," she counters.
"Why not? It's true. And even if they were real, it would make no sense that they're paying attention to individual people."
The expression on her face is impossible to read. "All right, let's try this another way. I'm guessing from the fact that I saw you kissing Nate that things went well?"
"I told him that I loved him, if that's what you're asking," I respond. "Though actually, I suppose I asked him if he loved me, then I told him that I loved him."
She laughs and pours herself a cup of tea. "You asked him if he loved you?"
"Well yes. Because that's what you said to me before I left the feast. That he loves me, so I had to know if it's true." I pick up one of the croissants and pull the end off it so that I can eat it.
"And? I assume he said yes." She drops a sugar cube into her tea and stirs it with the tiny spoon, the metal clanking against the porcelain in a way that sets my teeth on edge.
"He did."
"Come on, Evie, you've got to tell me more than this." She takes a sip of her tea and gives me an expectant look.
"I told him, and then we kissed. I'm not sure what else there is to tell." I pull apart more of my croissant.
"You're impossible," she mutters. "Did you like it?"
"I was a little scared starting the conversation."
"The kissing, Evie."
"Oh. Yes, it was nice. We kissed a couple of times in the kitchen, and then a few more times when we were in my room. You saw one of them."
"I was coming to find out how it went. I got my answer."
Warmth floods to my cheek. "The Nate part went great. The part with Mama, not so much."
"Please don't tell me that she caught you kissing?"
"No. But she came to my room while I was waiting for Nate and told me off for leaving the feast so early. I'm not allowed to leave anything before the end now. At least until the Gaullessian delegation goes home." I let out a sigh. "And I have to have a ball for my birthday."
Veronica grimaces, an expression that I can understand. "Surely she knows that's a bad idea?"
"I told her it was," I point out. "But she insisted. And said that she expected me to dance with suitors."
"Ah."
"I don't want to do that. I wouldn't have wanted to do it anyway, but now even less so. What's Nate going to think?" I didn't even tell him about any of this last night.
"He's not going to think anything," Veronica assures me. "He knows that you're a princess and that you have royal responsibilities, he's not going to be surprised by it."
"But what about when he finds out that I'm supposed to flirt with people?"
"Evie, I'm trying to help, but if you say ridiculous things like that, I'm going to end up laughing instead. You've never flirted with anyone in your life before. What makes you think you're going to start now?"
"I know how to flirt," I mutter, though internally, I know she's right.
"Mmhmm. If you're worried about what Nate will think about the ball and the suitors, then you need to talk to him about it."
"That's always your solution." I eat the rest of my croissant and wipe my hands on my napkin.
"You say that as if my advice hasn't gotten you exactly where you want to be," she says. "You're with Nate now, isn't that what you wanted?"
I don't know how to answer her question, especially because the reality is that I don't actually know what I want.
I've spent the past five and a half years wanting Nate to come back to Falhaven, and the time since he came back wanting to tell him how I feel.
I don't really know what that means now I have.
I let out a frustrated sigh, getting what I think is a pitying look from Veronica.
"We can figure it out," she promises. "But one piece of advice?"
"Only one?"
"Close the door next time you want to kiss Nate in your room," she says. "You don't want rumours going around."
I nod. I didn't really intend to kiss Nate before we closed the door, but I can certainly do better in the future. I think.