Chapter 4
Everything is too loud.
I should be focusing on what the Duchesse de Mountnoir is saying about the mountains in Gaullesse, but it's all I can do not to scream from how loud the rain is hitting the windows in the mountain solar, or the fact that everything is set up wrong.
I'm supposed to be sitting on the right, like I always do, but this time I've been seated on the left.
The view is different, the light falls in my eyes, and most of all, there's a stranger in the space that's supposed to be for me and my siblings.
To make matters worse, Veronica doesn't seem to be having any of the same issues and is chattering away as if this is something she adores. Which I suppose it is. She's always seemed to be more at ease around people than I am.
"That's a question for Evie," Veronica says.
"Hmm?"
She gives me a look that I think means that I'm supposed to have been paying attention, but I ignore her. She knows that these things are hard for me.
"The Duchesse would like to know what this is." She gestures to the centre of the table.
"It's a curd tart," I respond.
"I do not think that I know this," the Duchesse says in her lyrical Gaullessian accent.
"It's made with cheese curds," I respond. "Sometimes they're made with the curds left over from cheese-making, but Na-Chef Matthews prepared these curds especially for the tart."
"Chef Matthews is our pastry chef," Veronica says. "He studied in Gaullesse for several years."
"I believe that this is a Falhavien recipe?" the Duchesse says as she looks at the tart.
I nod. "It's from North Falhaven," I respond. "It's a family recipe of Chef Matthews."
"Ah, he must hold your family in high esteem to be sharing a family recipe with you," the Duchesse says.
Blood rushes to my cheeks while Veronica shoots me a look, and while I don't know what it means, I can work out that it's to do with Nate.
"Chef Matthews grew up here in Falhaven Castle," Veronica says. "We've known him for our whole lives. He's very good."
"If he is the one who made the croissants this morning, then I will have to agree," the Duchesse says. "They are almost as good as those the chef at home makes."
Pride towards Nate fills me in response to her words, and I look forward to telling him them when I see him again later. "He made them," I respond, thinking back to how he started shaping them while we waited for the second set of curd tarts to bake.
The Duchesse nods. "Then I suppose that it would only be correct if I tried a piece of this tart."
Veronica gestures for one of the servants to cut a piece, which seems unnecessary. When we're eating alone, we usually cut pieces for ourselves.
The servant steps up to the table and dips into a curtsy. She cuts a slice of the curd tart and sets it down in front of the Duchesse. "Your Grace."
"Thank you," the Duchesse responds.
"Would you also wish for a piece, Your Highness?" she asks me.
I look at the curd tart, conflicted feelings building up inside me. I've had plenty of them before, but I'm supposed to be trying the two smaller ones Nate and I made with him, it will ruin things if I have some now.
Veronica clears her throat, and I realise I'm just staring at the tart and not saying anything.
"Yes, please," I murmur, though I don't feel good about it. Despite the fact Nate and I made this tart together, it strangely feels like I'm betraying him.
The servant cuts me a slice and puts it in front of me before turning to Veronica and serving her a slice.
My stomach is in knots even as I pick up my pastry fork and cut into the tart.
The texture is firm, much more so than the filling before we baked it, and the pastry crust crumbles in a way that I know would make Nate happy.
He's always talking about how the perfect pastry crust has to be the right thickness and have a crispness about it.
Today's pastry shell would definitely pass his test.
"It has an interesting taste," the Duchesse says.
"It's a speciality," I say sharply.
Veronica clears her throat. "Do you have anything like it in Gaullesse, Your Grace?"
"I do not recall having had anything like this," the Duchesse responds. "But is that not what the travel is for? To try things that we might not have had a chance to otherwise?"
"Indeed," Veronica says. "My sister's favourite part of visiting other kingdoms is getting to try their food."
I smile at the woman across the table. "It is. Though I don't get the chance to go with delegations very often. Our brother is the one who works most closely with ambassadors."
"Ah, yes. Prince Arthur. I recall him from when I was last here. Is he not joining us today?"
"He's out riding with his wife," I say.
Veronica nudges me under the table, and I want to ask her what I've said wrong, because I don't think there's anything. That is what Artie and Solana are doing.
The Duchesse nods. "I do like to ride. Perhaps you might join me this afternoon, Your Highness?" She looks at Veronica as she asks. Which is a relief. I don't have any inclination to join her.
"I would be delighted to join you, Your Grace," Veronica responds.
They continue talking about their plans while I finish my tart, not really enjoying it very much thanks to the guilt worming its way through me over having it without Nate.
It's only when the Duchesse excuses herself to get ready for her ride that I sit back and let out a sigh.
"What's wrong with you?" Veronica asks.
"Nothing."
She gives me a strange look. "You almost turned down pastry. I don't think I've ever seen you do that before."
I let out a sigh. "We made two different curd tarts for us to try together, but now I've tried this one."
Veronica stares at me. "That's your problem?"
"It's not fair."
She closes her eyes and touches her forehead. "Nate understands that you're a princess and that you have duties to attend to," she says. "Sometimes that's going to involve eating pie without him."
"Tart," I correct her.
"Tart, pie, what's the difference?"
"It doesn't have a lid," I respond.
"Well, that's information that's never going to be relevant to me again."
"Not if you keep calling them the wrong thing," I point out.
"Evie, we're not talking about pies and tarts."
I frown. "But we are. You asked what the difference was."
Veronica takes a deep breath. "Nate isn't going to be angry at you for eating a piece of curd tart. It's not as if you haven't had any before and are trying it for the first time. He knows that he's making things for us to eat with the Gaullessian delegation, it's not going to be a surprise."
"But it doesn't feel good."
"I know you're not going to want to hear this, but if it bothers you, then you need to talk to him about it," she responds.
"That's your answer to everything," I mutter.
"It is the answer to everything," she counters.
"That's annoying."
She shrugs. "No one said that love was easy." She pats me on the shoulder. "Now I'm going to go meet the Duchesse for a ride and ask her if she wants to have a glass of wine with me before dinner."
"Why not just invite her back to your bedchamber? That would be more comfortable."
She laughs. "Ah, Evie, you're growing up."
"I'm older than you."
"By barely a year. Maybe if I misbehave, Mama will make me have a ball for my birthday."
"I didn't misbehave. I left dinner during dessert once."
"That's not how Mama sees it, and you know it."
I let out a sigh and lean back in my seat. "I don't want a ball."
"I know you don't."
"And I don't want suitors."
"I think that's obvious." She pours herself a new cup of tea. "Maybe you should ask Mama to have a masquerade."
"I hate masquerade balls," I murmur.
"You're more likely to go unnoticed at one," she says.
"I doubt that's true."
"Just ask, Evie?"
I frown. "I don't think you're going to be able to help me sneak out of this one."
"No, probably not," she agrees. "But I would have fun."
"I suppose you have been rather helpful lately," I say. "I can ask Mama. One of us should enjoy the event."
"I think both of us will," she says.
I don't for a moment understand what she's suggesting, but Veronica does seem to know me well, so I'm just going to trust her even if I don't believe her.