Chapter 9
The table in front of us is laden with baking sheets for us to lay the truffles on once we've made them, and a bowl of crushed peanuts sits between us.
I have no idea how Nate managed to get them as fine as this, because I tried many times while he was away, and I never managed to get my nuts to crush like that.
"Are you ready to get your hands messy?" Nate asks.
"Definitely not, but I know it's necessary."
He laughs. "All right, well there's a cloth here for when it gets too much," he says, setting one down next to me. "Have you got the scoop?"
I nod. "Don't we normally use this for measuring out batter?"
"It works just as well for truffles, and for the same reason," he points out. "Want to go first?"
"No, show me it's done," I respond.
He takes the scoop from me and dips it into the bowl of ganache. He removes the ball from the scoop and rolls it in his hands until it's a smooth ball, then drops it into the crushed nuts. He reaches out to roll it, but then pauses.
"What is it?" I ask.
"Maybe you should do that part. I'll make the initial balls, and you can roll them in the nuts?"
"If you think that's best?"
"I think it'll work," he responds.
"All right." I lean in and roll the ball until it's fully coated in the nuts. I put it on one of the trays and turn my attention to the next truffle that's already on the tray of nuts.
It's easy to fall into a rhythm when making them, and we're soon doing it without thinking as a row of peanut truffles appears on the baking sheets.
I let out a sigh and look over them.
"Still thinking about what the Queen wants you to do?" Nate asks.
"No. I was thinking about the truffles and how I'm going to have to wait for them to set."
He laughs. "You can try one as soon as we're done, but it won't be as good as when it's set."
"Hmmm."
"I can tell you're tempted," he teases.
"I am. But I also want to prove my patience."
"Trust me?" he asks as he heads over to the sink and washes his hands.
I frown and give him a curious look. "Of course?"
He grins and picks up one of the truffles before putting it in his mouth. I watch him curiously, wondering what he's about to do until he steps closer and leans in, making me realise exactly what he's up to.
I close my eyes just as his lips brush against mine, bringing with them the taste of peanuts and chocolate all mixed together. But that isn't why I keep kissing him. There's something about kissing Nate that makes the world feel quiet and like nothing around me matters other than this moment.
I put my hand on his cheek, completely forgetting that it's still covered in chocolate from rolling the truffles, until I pull back and burst out laughing.
"I know I haven't had much practice, but I didn't think I was that bad of a kisser," he jokes.
"The kissing was great," I respond. "The mess I made of your face, not so much." I reach out for the cloth he put down and use it to wipe his cheek.
He catches my hand in his and looks at me as if I'm the only person in the room. Though I suppose I am right now. There's no one else in the kitchens at all, just the two of us and the peace of the middle of the night. I could get used to it.
"I don't want this to end," I whisper.
"Truffle making?"
"Being here with you. I don't want you to leave again. I want you to stay here, at the castle."
"I'm not going to leave again," he promises. "I don't intend on leaving you again. I don't think my heart could take it."
"Even if you've only known the truth for a couple of weeks?"
A strange smile crosses his face, and he reaches up to touch my cheek. "Leaving you was hard when I thought I was just leaving my best friend," he says. "I never imagined that this is what would happen if I told you how I felt. Or I suppose you asked me how I felt rather than me telling you."
"I think it counts the same." I bite my bottom lip. "What would have happened if I'd just wanted to stay friends?"
He shrugs. "Probably this with a bit less kissing, I imagine I'd still be listening to you complain about the Queen's attempts at matchmaking."
I grimace. "I really wish she wouldn't."
"I know. But Princess Kathryn is unmarried, and so is Princess Veronica. I'm sure that means that you're not going to have to go through with it."
I let out a sigh. "Kathryn said as much to me earlier. She said that Mama isn't about to drag me to the temple, and that the best thing I can do is make sure that I tell her that I'm not interested in any of the people she tries to get me to court."
"And that will work?" His face becomes serious, and I think there's some real worry in his eyes.
I touch his cheek. "I'm not going to marry anyone else.
" It takes a moment for my words to register.
"I mean, I'm not going to marry someone of Mama's choosing.
It might have worked for Artie and Solana, but it's not going to work for me.
I don't think Mama understands me enough to be a good judge of that. "
He raises an eyebrow. "You don't think so?"
"Do you?"
He chuckles, seeming to relax a little bit. "I don't. But who would you trust to choose a spouse for you?"
"If I really had to, maybe Veronica," I respond. "I don't think she'd do anything that would make me uncomfortable."
"So I'll only get nervous if the Princess gets involved."
"She won't, she's too busy with the Duchessee de Mountnoir," I respond.
"Ah, so that's why she asked for a late-night tray for two tonight," he says.
"What?"
"Her lady's maid came with the request about an hour before you arrived," he says.
"And she told me off for kissing with the door open."
Nate's amusement is written all over his face. "No one is really talking about it," he promises. "Princess Veronica and the Duchesse, or us kissing in the kitchen or your room."
"I don't think people are going to talk about us kissing to you," I point out.
"No, but Camille would tell me if she'd heard anything."
"Right, Camille."
He grins. "Still jealous, Evie?"
I clear my throat. "I'm not jealous. What have I got to be jealous of?"
"Nothing," he assures me. "But learning about how you feel certainly puts your reaction to meeting Camille into perspective."
I clear my throat and turn away so he can't see the blush spreading over my cheeks. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Of course not. But we should put the truffles into a box so they can chill overnight," Nate says. "As much as I'd love to be able to spend the whole night with you baking, I imagine that both of us have got to get some sleep."
I nod, though my mind has gone down a path that it never has before.
What would it be like to not have to say goodnight to Nate?
To wake up in the middle of the night and see that he's there beside me?
It's a question I've never asked myself before, and one that I've never really thought about being interested in, but there's no doubt that it's playing on my mind right now.
"Evie?" he asks.
I clear my throat. "Right, yes." I start picking up truffles and putting them in the box he's put on the table, while sneaking glances at him as I do.
I have no idea what fully accepting my feelings has brought out in me, but it's making me consider things that I never have before, and there's no doubt it's complicating a lot of things, including me not knowing how to deal with certain situations.
But when I look at Nate, I know it's the right thing, and I'm sure I'll figure it out.