Chapter 21
I let out a sigh as I make my way over to the fire with Ember's breakfast. As much as I didn't want to have a ball, I have to admit that last night turned out far better than I expected it to, mostly because I very much enjoyed being able to spend time with Nate, even if it would be better if we didn't have to stay up quite so late in order to actually have time together.
"It's breakfast time," I say to my dragon as I place the bowl of scraps from the kitchen down on the hearth. At some point, she's probably going to want more impressive meals, but for now, she seems content with this.
She unfurls her wings, sending a shower of sparks over the hearth, and I jump back to avoid any catching on my dress. This is one of my most comfortable ones, and I have no intention of sacrificing it to a dragon.
I'm still watching my dragon when a knock sounds on my bedroom door, and Betsy makes her way over without me even asking her to.
She clears her throat. "The Queen is here to see you."
Shock travels through me. I didn't expect to see Mama today, especially not so early.
Without meaning to, I run through the events of last night, but other than Veronica sneaking Nate into the ball, I didn't do anything that could be frowned upon.
I danced with all the people Mama wanted me to and then more.
"Show her in, please," I say as I turn away from my dragon. I smooth out my skirts and try to look as presentable as possible.
"Leave us, please, Betsy," Mama says to my lady's maid.
Betsy curtsies to each of us and takes her leave.
"Can we sit?" she asks me.
I nod, not really knowing what else to do, and make my way over to my favourite chair.
Ember takes that moment to let free a stream of flames, making us both jump.
"She's cooking her breakfast," I say by way of explanation.
Mama nods. "It will be good to show her to the Shengdanese ambassador when he arrives."
"You want me to bring Ember to court?"
"It would be wise. She was gifted to you when we made the trade deal with Shengda."
"I know, I remember." Nate looked after Ember when she was an egg by putting her in the oven, which was before we got the gas ones installed. But I don't say as much to Mama. I'm not sure what she knows about how Ember hatched.
"We should talk about last night," she says.
I take a deep breath. I wasn't planning on saying anything to her so soon, but if she's going to start bringing up suitors, then now is the time.
"I don't want to marry Lady Elizabeth," I say while trying to ignore the pounding of my heart.
"Or Prince Francesco, or any of the other suitors you've picked out. "
"I know, Evelyn," Mama says.
I stare at her for a moment. "You know?" Worry starts to worm its way through me as I do as she suggests.
Mama's been so strict with everything surrounding my potential suitors that it's concerning to have her act like this now.
I have no idea what she's going to say, or if she's going to push me towards someone else now I've said no to the two suitors she specifically put forward.
She folds her hands on her lap. "I appreciate the effort you put in when meeting with Lady Elizabeth and Prince Francesco," she says. "Something your sister said made me realise that it can't have been easy for you."
"Veronica?" I ask, wondering what she might have said to Mama.
"Kathryn," she responds. "I don't think I'd fully considered how much pushing you to do this was impacting you."
I swallow hard. "I tried my best."
"I know. But I saw something at the ball that I'd never seen from you before."
My mind immediately strays back to dancing with Nate. I don't think we did anything that drew too much attention to us, but in all honesty, I was too caught up in how it felt to have more stolen moments with him to really notice much of what was going on around us.
"I saw you smile," she says. "Properly smile. It made me realise that I've not seen very much of that from you. You get close when you're talking about something that Chef Matthews has made, but I've never seen you like this before."
"Oh." I'm not sure what to make of what she's saying, even if I'm not actually surprised that it's true.
"When I met your father, it was in a situation much like the one I put you in with Lady Elizabeth and Prince Francesco.
His mother arranged a picnic with mine, and that was how the two of us officially met.
I talked to him for hours that day, and it felt like I'd found a piece of me that I hadn't realised was missing.
It wasn't much at first, but after about a month, I found myself eagerly waiting for him to ask me to dance at balls and to have one more moment with him.
One day, I caught him looking across the ballroom and smiling at me in a way I'd never seen before.
That was how I knew that he loved me too," she says, a smile on her face like I only see when they're together.
"I never knew that."
"I didn't tell you. I didn't want to add that pressure to you when it came to meeting suitors of your own. I know that Kathryn has never had the same luck that I did."
"She mentioned that," I respond.
"When I saw your face at the ball, you looked so much like your father, even with a mask on.
There was no denying that you were looking at someone the same way your father looks at me," she says.
"And then I saw how Chef Matthews looked at you.
I don't know how he got into the ball, but I suspect your sister had something to do with it. "
"Kathryn?" I ask, but mostly to try and distract both of us from the fact that she knows it was Nate that I was dancing with, even if that's ultimately what I intend to tell her.
She chuckles. "Veronica, but you know that."
I give a slight nod, but don't want to give Veronica's secrets away, especially when I don't actually know them.
"In truth, I've wondered if this was a conversation we'd have to have for a long time. You've always been close to Chef Matthews. But I don't think I fully considered how deeply you might feel until last night."
I swallow hard, knowing that I need to say the words. "I love him," I whisper.
"I could see that. How does he feel?"
"He loves me." I rub my thumb against my finger, not really knowing if this is the right thing to say. "It's not some fleeting thing."
"No, I can't imagine that it is. When you find something that you like, you tend to be very loyal to it.
Your siblings are just the same," Mama says with what seems like a doting smile, but I'm not entirely sure about it.
"I suppose the question I have is what do you intend to do about it? " she asks.
"I don't know," I admit. "I don't want to see more suitors."
"That is understandable. I won't force more upon you."
"And I want to be able to spend time with Nate."
She nods, which is a surprise. "There will need to be a conversation about the future, Evelyn. I don't say that to scare you, but just so you are aware. Even if you're not seeing suitors, you can't have a dalliance with a servant for the rest of your life."
"I know. Either he has to give up his life, or I have to give up mine."
Even though I struggle to read her most of the time, there's no hiding the surprise that crosses Mama's face. "You've thought about that?"
"I know it's the truth," I respond.
"Then perhaps soon we might have a discussion with Chef Matthews about what the future might hold for the two of you. It doesn't have to be today, but it does have to be soon," she says. "And I would much rather you weren't giving up your life for anyone."
I nod, though there's a part of me that's still willing to do that if it's what it takes.
"All right, well, I shall take my leave," she says as she gets to her feet. "And Evelyn?"
"Yes, Mama?"
"Drink your tea," she says firmly. "Even if you intend to have a future with him, it's not the right time for a baby."
I cough, unable to help myself. "Yes, Mama," I say, even though I know that I don't need it. But I suppose it's an interesting thing to consider. Veronica has said that there are lots of reasons to want to bed someone.
I dismiss the thought. For now, it's enough that Mama is going to stop insisting on me meeting with suitors and that I get to be with Nate. I don't know what the future holds yet, but at least I'm safe in the knowledge that we have one.
Thank you for reading Tarts & Tiaras, I hope you enjoyed it!