8. Tavia
Chapter 8
Tavia
I opened the door to find Bea grinning at me from across the threshold, her aquamarine eyes glittering like jewels set in their black depths. “Hi! I’m taking you out.”
“Out?” I blinked at her, still a little disoriented from my late afternoon nap. I was having a hell of a time trying to make myself transition to a nocturnal schedule.
“Yes, out. You know the market and where to get your essentials. Now it’s time for fun.” She made a shooing motion at me. “Get dressed. I’ll wait here.”
She left no room for argument, so I did as she said. In fifteen minutes, I was put together enough, and left the suite with a quick glance to Cyan’s closed bedroom door. A few of my winemaking supplies had shown up, but I hadn’t seen him since that night in the great room three days ago.
It almost felt like he was avoiding me, which threw me for a loop. I thought we’d had a fun night getting to know each other. As friends, of course.
Bea turned to me with that bright grin as I locked the door behind me, but I caught her staring longingly at the picture of Cyan and the other vampire, Kalix, a moment before.
“Ready, sunshine?”
“Yeah.” I nodded at the picture. “Are you ever gonna tell me what happened to him?”
Her smile drooped, tinged with sadness. “Over a drink, sure. It’s not really a conversation I can handle sober.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. That sounds heavy.” We started down the corridor together.
“It is, but you might as well know.” She gave me a little nudge with her elbow as we ascended the stairs. “Human or not, you’re Blood ‘til Dawn now. Kalix is part of our history, and now you are, too.”
I gave a little laugh as we crossed the great room, waving to the few vampires milling about. “Blink and you’ll miss me, right? I won’t live long enough to be any significant part of vampire history.”
“Not true, necessarily.” Bea led me through the garage and then a side door, a different one from our route to the market. “You could be someone’s blood mate, fall hopelessly in love, and gain a vampire’s lifespan through the mating ceremony. It’s extremely rare, but there’s always a chance.”
“Blood mate?” She made it sound much more appealing than the disgust Cyan had used when he mentioned it. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my sweater, the chilly evening air a sharp contrast to the warmth inside the compound. “That does sound like a step above blood pet .”
“Oh, it’s the ultimate goal.” Bea sighed dreamily, her face turned up to the sky as we made our way down the sidewalk. “When all the chemistry and proteins in your blood fulfill the needs of one vampire or brusang perfectly, they’ll be insatiable for your blood alone. Everything else will taste like garbage once they’ve had their perfect match. It’s like a switch flips in their biology. They will be driven to feed from the perfect source and nothing else.”
“Wow. That actually sounds kind of romantic.”
“Doesn’t it?” Bea’s eyelashes fluttered. “It’s pretty rare, to the point where the whole territory celebrates if a blood mate pairing is found, and an elaborate ceremony is conducted to seal the bond. The last one was maybe fifteen years ago.”
“And the ceremony would make the non-vampire half live as long as the vampire?”
“If they’re human, yes.” Bea smirked. “But if they’re another vampire, a brusang, or a shifter, they already have the long lifespan. So the magic at the ceremony is more symbolic in those cases.”
“What was the last pairing?” I couldn’t stop peppering her with questions. No one in Sapien ever talked about vampire culture. What else did I not know?
“Two vampires, which is the most common, I think.” Bea’s smile grew wider. “But the best part was that it was two females. The first gay blood mate ceremony ever publicly celebrated in Sanguine, so it was quite an event.”
“Aw, how sweet! You were there?”
“Oh yeah, everyone turned out to see it. And it shut up a lot of the ancient bigots who claimed same-sex blood mates was impossible because it went against biology.”
“Were you a brusang then? Or still a human?”
Bea’s smile dimmed just slightly. “I had been a brusang for about five years at that point. It felt like I was still getting used to the experience. Seeing that ceremony was definitely a highlight during that time.”
“I’m sorry.” I’d been asking questions so fast, I didn’t stop to remember what she’d told me. The turning process was a traumatic experience, and she’d been near death before waking up in her new life.
“All good,” she chirped before pointing at a red-bricked building up ahead. “That’s where we’re headed.”
I’d been so absorbed in asking her questions that I hadn’t truly taken in my surroundings until then. The street was lively, with humans and vampires alike going about their business. Tall street lamps illuminated the sidewalks and roads. Businesses were open with bright neon signs affixed to their buildings.
There were multiple clubs, lounges, and restaurants on this strip with their large windows open to the street, along with a smoke shop, a motorcycle mechanic, and a butcher.
It reminded me a bit of Jacksonville, the town in the human world we had sometimes visited for supplies. Apparently it was a popular tourist destination in the summer, and the streets would be teeming with people at certain times of day, primarily lunch time. Those trips had felt exactly like this, only during the day.
“Busy night,” I mused to Bea as we squeezed past people walking in the opposite direction. A vampire exhaled a spicy red smoke that made my eyes water.
“Locals call this area the Cap,” she said.
I looked at her. “Cap as in hat?”
She laughed “As in, short for capillary. We’re just off the Heart of Sanguine. Vampires can’t resist blood analogies, so this neighborhood with all its little side streets and alleyways resemble capillaries. Or just the Cap. It’s one of the most popular areas of Sanguine, which is especially impressive considering these buildings were all ruins decades ago.”
“Someone put a lot of money into this place, huh?”
“Yes,” she agreed softly. “Blood ‘til Dawn did. They own every building you see.”
“Whoa.” That was impressive.
I took in all the details as we walked to our destination. The smoke shop had a sign in the window that said, No drae here! Walk into the sun and burn, assholes. Seemed a little harsh, but okay.
Down a side street stood a square, white building that resembled a small hospital. BLOOD BANK was written on the side in bright, red letters. Above the door was a painted sign that read Donor Entrance.
Before I could ask Bea about it, she shoved a paper menu in my hand. “Let me know what you think of the human menu. If it sucks, we can go somewhere else.”
We were standing in front of the restaurant she’d chosen, a place called Carnassian’s. Upon scanning the menu, I realized that they specialized in meat dishes, many of them rare or raw. Nothing looked too intimidating to me though, and they had some seafood options as well, which I felt better about eating raw than say, steak.
“No, this is good,” I told Bea.
“Great! Let’s grab a seat.”
We got a table next to one of the large open windows facing the street. Our server was a vampire who looked young enough to be a teen. I knew better than to ask if she was old enough to work, but the agelessness of vampires never ceased to fascinate me.
I ordered the ceviche and a Mexican lager. Bea settled on a blue rare strip steak and a blood sangria.
“So vampires do eat food.” I subtly looked around at the other clientele, which I estimated to be seventy percent vampire or brusang, thirty percent human.
“For pleasure, yes. Out of necessity, no.” Bea leaned back and smiled pleasantly while our server placed our drinks in front of us. “Eating raw or rare meat satisfies blood thirst for a short time, so that’s what we usually prefer.”
“Do I ever have to worry about being on the menu?”
I said it jokingly, but that was the main thing the council had drummed into our heads when it came to keeping ourselves separate from the vampires. Truly integrating into their society was impossible, because drinking blood was a slippery slope to having our flesh torn away and eaten.
“No.” Bea shook her head, her expression serious. “Vampires understand humans are sentient and self-aware. The vast majority only take blood with consent, whether that’s from a human, fellow vampire, any being with the capacity to give consent.” She took a sip of her blood cocktail. “I won’t deny that it has happened, and that there’s a small minority of vampires who believe it’s their right to treat humans as literal livestock, but vampire society as a whole has come a long way from that. A huge part of it is because of Blood ‘til Dawn. They’ve made sweeping changes over the last few decades.”
My fingers drummed on my beer glass. “We were told that the last blood pet given at the Half-Century Selection was ripped apart in front of everyone. Basically eaten alive by a mob of monsters.”
Bea winced. “That’s awful. You must have been terrified when you were selected.”
I nodded, then chuckled through my next sip of beer. “Cyan was not what I expected, that’s for sure.”
Bea smiled across the table. “Vampires are capable of change. If anything, I think their long lives make them more adaptable to it.”
It was only after our food came out and we ordered our second round of drinks that I dared to ask what burned my curiosity the most.
“So, are you not sober enough to tell me about Kalix?” I crunched down on a chip loaded heavily with ceviche.
“Ha, not nearly.” Bea’s smirk was cheeky, but her eyes were sad. “It hurts to talk about him, if I’m being completely honest.”
Guilt sliced through me. “It’s okay, you don’t have to?—”
“No, no.” She downed the remainder of her first drink and pulled her second one closer. “I should talk about him, even though it hurts. Cyan never brings him up, but Kal deserves to be remembered.” Her eyes flicked up to me. “I know you’re wondering and the answer is yes, he’s the one who turned me.”
I let her words sink in with a long pull of beer. “He saved your life, then.”
She nodded. “I didn’t grow up with Blood ‘til Dawn. As a human, my family and I were employed by another clan. We were the housekeeping staff, and…” She swallowed, nervously rotating the stem of her drinking glass. “That clan did see us as inferior, little more than working animals.”
The protectiveness that I usually reserved for Amy rose up like a tidal wave. “Fuck, I’m so sorry.”
Bea gave a small nod before continuing. “My sister had it okay. She was the pretty, charming one. Once she became of age, she was claimed as a blood pet by the clan’s heir. She’s one of a few, I’ve heard. Rumors say he has a harem of pets. But anyway, once she got that cushy life, she never had much to do with me. Our parents died pretty young, they were so overworked. The clan had a few other staff members, but the bulk of the work fell to me.”
My heart tore open for Bea. Her story made me wish I could have traveled back in time and been there for her. She reminded me of Amy, vulnerable and pushed around for no reason other than existing. It sounded like she really needed a friend back then.
“A little over twenty years ago, Cyan and Kalix started coming by the estate where I worked.” A dreamy smile touched Bea’s lips as she recalled the memory. “I had an instant crush on Kal. Cyan’s cute too, don’t get me wrong. But there was something about Kal that was just magnetic to me.”
“What was he like?” I waited as she took a delicate sip from her drink.
“Tall. Big.” She smirked. “Almost as big as Rhain, but not quite as scary.”
My eyebrows went up. I’d only seen Rhain, Thorne’s second in command, in passing a few times, but that vampire was massive. Tall enough that he had to duck through most doorways and built like a bodybuilder. He also had a permanent scowl that guaranteed most people stayed out of his way.
“There was a warmth to Kal,” Bea continued. “He seemed like a gentle giant type, but he wasn’t soft. He was quiet. Solid. If he wanted to be intimidating, he could be. Maybe I imagined it, but he always seemed to be polite and gentle with me. I answered the door whenever they came and he would say hello with this little smile when he saw me.”
“Sounds like you weren’t the only one with a crush,” I mused.
Bea waved that off with a girlish giggle. “I would lead them through the foyer, offering refreshments and snacks. Cyan jumped to accept but Kal always politely refused. Though he always made small talk with me, asked me how I was doing like he genuinely wanted to know.”
“Returned crush confirmed,” I teased.
“Stop.” Bea waved her hand again but this time, her smile faltered. “I was never present for their meetings with my employer unless I was called in to serve drinks or something. And one day, I…” She paused, taking a slow breath. “I brought in a tray of blood cocktails. They were iced, so there was condensation on the glasses. I picked one up to give to my employer and…my fingers slipped. I dropped it.”
I remained silent during her next pause in the story, not wanting to encourage her to keep talking nor tell her to stop. Whichever she chose to do, this was clearly difficult, and my support would be best given by listening, not trying to sway her either way.
“It spilled all over his desk, on the documents he had out.” Bea’s gaze had fixated on some spot on the table, her voice going low and flat. “He was furious, calling me stupid, useless. I was so scared that I froze like a statue. Then he got even more angry because I wasn’t doing anything to clean it up. He took a letter opener and slashed it across my throat.”
“Oh my God, Bea.”
Without thinking, I reached across the table for her hands. She didn’t return my grip, her slender fingers limp in mine and slightly cold from her chilled drink. The poor woman was somewhere else now, in that horrible memory.
“I didn’t even feel the pain of it, but I could feel myself dying.” Bea swallowed, and I noticed the faint scar across her throat for the first time. “I don’t think the shock ever fully registered. I remember feeling confused like, how can I be dying right now? I was fully alive five seconds ago.”
I squeezed her fingers in a silent, gentle urge to rise out of that awful, traumatic scene. “But Kalix saved your life, didn’t he?”
It worked. Clarity returned to her eyes and a faint smile returned to her lips, but there was still so much sadness there.
“I must have fallen to the ground, because I remember looking up at his face. He looked so worried about me. I remember feeling so embarrassed. No one wants their crush to see them bleeding to death, it’s so undignified.”
A laugh choked out of me. She was definitely back in the present.
“Kal asked me one question. ‘Do you want to live?’ I immediately said yes, or I must have mouthed it because I couldn’t speak. I was so scared. My life hadn’t been great, but I wasn’t ready to die. The last thing I remember before waking up as a brusang was his wrist against my lips and the taste of his blood in my mouth.”
Bea paused there to finish off the rest of her drink, throwing it back and setting it down dramatically. “When I woke up, I was in the Blood ‘til Dawn compound looking like this.” She gestured to her eyes then touched her tongue to one of her fangs, which I realized were a bit shorter than a vampire’s.
“Thank fuck you got through it.” I polished off my beer, then hesitantly asked, “And Kalix?”
“Gone.”
I almost thought she would leave it at that until she said, “Imprisoned by that clan, Carpe Noctem. Blood ‘til Dawn was not the ruling clan at the time, so they didn’t have the power to overrule it. Cyan took me in and made sure I was taken care of. He said that was what Kal wanted.”
“Wait, back up.” I held up a palm. “Imprisoned, why? Because he turned you?”
“That’s my assumption, yes. My old employer would be petty and cruel enough to demand retribution for giving me a second life when he wanted me dead.”
“What the fuck?” I shook my head at the table. “So, he’s imprisoned for how long?”
Bea lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “Vampires don’t take half measures when it comes to these things. Punishments are either executions or imprisonment for life.”
Fuck. No wonder she talked about him like he had already died. As she said, he was simply gone.
“It hit Cyan hard too, he and Kal were close. Aside from telling me the most basic details after I woke up, we’ve never spoken about it.” Bea released a sigh. “I’m glad I talked to you, though. It’s a heavy thing to keep in your mind for twenty years. So, thanks for listening, Tavia.”
“Yeah, of course. I just, wow. That is heavy.” I rubbed my forehead. “It’s hard to imagine how Cyan would react to that kind of loss. He seems so…carefree. I had no idea he’d ever lost anyone.”
“Between you and me.” Bea’s voice lowered. “I think it’s a mask. He adored Kal, so I think he shoves that day far down that he doesn’t have to deal with the pain of it.”
“Was he there? I wonder if he blames himself.”
Bea nodded grimly. “I’m sure there’s an element of self-blame. There certainly is with me.”
“Hey.” I flattened my palms on the table, making sure I had her attention. “I’m really glad you’re here, okay? I would be so lost if you were dead. I’ll never meet Kal, but he sounds amazing. He saved you and I’m so grateful to him because he allowed me to have you as a friend. Live your new life, it is what he wanted. That’s why he gave it to you.”
“I’m usually good about gratitude, positivity, all that shit.” Bea sniffed and delicately wiped her eye. “But I have my moments where I wish I could talk to him for five minutes. Ask him why he did that for me. Or just been able to get to know him, you know? See if there was anything there, or if it was just my crush giving me false hope.”
There was nothing I could say to comfort her, except to commiserate in the fact that those unknowns absolutely sucked. Before I could say anything else, a presence loomed over our table. Thinking it was our waitress, I looked up with my mouth open for another round of drinks.
But it was a different vampire, a male. Someone I didn’t recognize. He was almost certainly not from Blood ‘til Dawn.
“Hi, ladies. How are we doing tonight?” His grin was cocky as he grabbed a nearby chair, turning it around so he could straddle the back of it.
I glanced at Bea, who looked just as perturbed as I felt.
“Can we help you?” Her tone was snitty, a clear signal to buzz off.
Naturally, like with human men, the signal went over this guy’s head.
“Just seeing what you’re up to, seeing if you’re in need of anything more fun than booze.” The moment I realized something was off about this guy, he produced a slim vial with a golden liquid inside and a squeeze dropper top. “You ladies ever tried drae?”
Bea sucked in a sharp breath. “You’re trying to push that here, really? Do you have a death wish or are you just stupid?”
“Come on, little brusang. Don’t act like you don’t miss the sun from your human days.” He turned his gaze to me, and I noticed his red eyes had a tinge of yellow that didn’t look good. It looked like sickness, like something wrong. “And I know you’re human, but give it a shot. You might see beautiful things when the sun comes out. Ever try LSD? I hear it’s like that for your kind.”
“We’re not interested.” I said it firmly, like I was shutting down a pushy salesperson in the human world, but the vampire was not deterred.
“Don’t be scared, ladies. It’s just a little sunlight. It gives life to every living thing except us. Why should we be excluded?” He gestured to himself and Bea, who was still staring daggers at him. “This lets us see the world the same way all of Temkra’s other creatures do. Equality, finally! And all it takes is a little drop in your eyes an hour before dawn.”
“Oh, thank fuck.” Bea muttered.
“Yes, exactly! That’s what I said when I first tried it and felt the sun’s light on me...”
The rambling, probably-still-high vampire didn’t notice she was actually looking past him, at the furious Cyan storming directly for our table.