12. Cyan
Chapter 12
Cyan
T his was a mistake.
I’d done so well with avoiding Tavi for the last few weeks, and it turned out to be all for naught. My fangs throbbed with a dull ache the moment she entered the great room, the sensation running through my upper jaw to my brain. I swore there was a similar ache in my cock, although that could have been due to my recent dry spell.
There wasn’t any particular reason for said dry spell, except that I was still feeling off since the night at Pulse Point. I wasn’t sick exactly, but all the blood that I’d drank in the past few weeks had tasted wrong. From the blood bank to my favorite necks at the club, all sources turned my stomach a little. A guy had to eat, so I choked it down, but no one’s blood really satiated me. I was getting to the point where I wasn’t craving anything or anyone at all.
Except for Tavi. I’d never tasted her once and for some reason, my brain was fixated on her. Like her blood was the answer to everything. I knew the fixation would disappear the moment I did taste her, so while we talked in the kitchen, I considered it.
But I promised her, I vowed that I wouldn’t. And right then, I was helping her rinse out a collection of empty wine bottles.
I didn’t know the first thing about winemaking, but there was something fascinating about watching someone else do what they enjoyed. Tavi was in her element, and I could not keep my eyes off her as she held up a length of silicone tubing and a liquid sanitizer solution.
She explained some of the process to me as we worked, but I had a sense she was trying to dumb it down for me. There was a bashfulness about her, almost like she was embarrassed about how much she knew. Naturally, the only logical thing to do was keep her talking about it.
“What’s that?” I nodded at the dark sludge sitting in the bottom of her fermentation jar as we siphoned out the wine.
“That,” she bit her lip like she was trying not to laugh, “is a yeast cake.”
“Doesn’t look like a very appetizing cake.”
The laugh burst out of her then. “No, it’s not. It’s the dead and dormant yeast after fermentation is done. I can either throw it away or use it to start another batch.”
“Which will you do?” As one wine bottle filled, I swiftly moved the tube to another without spilling a drop.
“I’m not sure. Depends on how this tastes, I guess.”
“The yeast affects the taste?”
“Oh yes,” she said emphatically. “ Everything affects the taste. How long it ferments, the ratio of yeast to sugar, the temperature, the quality of the grapes, how long it’s mashed before it ferments—” She cut herself off abruptly, a blush darkening her cheeks. “Sorry. I get really nerdy about this stuff.”
“Don’t ever apologize.” My voice roughened with the command. “I like seeing your passion.”
Tavi’s pupils blew wide, her blush spreading to her ears. Saliva filled my mouth and I jerked my gaze away. I had to get a hold of myself before the temptation of her blood literally had me drooling.
“What I mean is,” I cleared my throat, “just the fact that you’re so into this is what makes it interesting to me.” I didn’t know if that was any better, but it was the best I could come up with.
Tavi gave a slight smile, her attention returning to her jars. “Thanks. It’s actually nice being able to talk with someone about it. Back home, most people didn’t want to spend the time helping me, or my explanations just went over their heads. They sure liked drinking the end results though.”
It irked me that she still thought of Sapien as “home,” but I swallowed that down. “What about your friend? The one you said goodbye to before you left.”
She paused, her head lifting to stare at a blank spot on the wall. “Amy um, she would help with bottling sometimes, like you are. But most of my batches were bigger, like five gallons, and it was just too much for her. She’d hang out with me while I racked or mashed but this isn’t really her thing. If I talked, she’d listen, but it wasn’t really a back and forth. She’s more into knitting, quilting, that kind of thing, all of which I’m terrible at.”
Tavi blinked tears away and her voice wavered with emotion as she spoke. I could sense her growing effort to keep her composure. This friend was deeply important, to the point of bringing this brave, resilient human nearly to tears in front of me. Being cast off by her own people didn’t bring out this emotion, but talking about her friend did. And those tears spoke volumes.
“You miss her.” I went to the sink to rinse out the tube and to give Tavi a moment that didn’t feel like I was staring at her.
“Yeah.” She sniffed and laughed a little. “You could say that. She’s like a sister to me.”
I opened my mouth to respond, then shut it so hard my teeth hurt. Without even thinking, I had been on the verge of telling her about Kalix. That he was a brother to me and I missed him as well. What the fuck was wrong with me? I hadn’t spoken about him in twenty years.
What I had kept locked up tight in a vault had been about to spill out like an overflowing paper cup. Why did this human woman disarm me so much? Because she was adorable, tough, smart, and interesting? Because her pulse and scent had me salivating for her blood?
I hated that she made me want to be real and open with her. The last person who knew me at my core was Kalix, and he ended up nowhere good. Tavi didn’t even realize she was doing it. It was bad enough that I just told her I was a fuck-up and a disappointment. It didn’t seem to warn her away, and I hated the spark of hope alight in my chest as a result.
Instead of pouring my heart out like a miserable fucking sap, I brought two wine glasses down from an upper cabinet. “Shall we? It’s ready, right?”
“Um, yeah. Sure.” Tavi’s smile brightened as if grateful for the distraction. “The moment of truth.”
I pushed the wine bottle closer to her. “I’ll let the expert do the honors.”
She laughed again, pouring a few ounces of the dark red wine into each glass with practiced efficiency. Its resemblance to blood was not lost on me. My fangs were pulsing so damn hard that a headache began to throb in my temples.
Tavi and I each held up a glass and paused.
“To friendship,” I said.
“To friendship,” she agreed with a small nod. “Both new and old.”
We each took a sip, and I swore the flavor that hit my tongue soothed the aching pain in my fangs for the few moments it was in my mouth.
“Holy shit.” I took another, larger swallow. “Tavi, this is really fucking good.”
I expected the wine to be something decent and drinkable, but I was hit with pure, genuine awe. Tavi didn’t just know how to make wine, she was fucking masterful at it.
“Not bad.” She was less enthusiastic, taking another dainty sip and squinting in concentration as she held it in her mouth. “A little more tart than I wanted, but I should have expected that. The grapes weren’t quite ripe enough, but I didn’t want to risk waiting too long and having them over-ripen.”
“Whatever. This is the best wine I’ve ever tasted.” I drained my glass and helped myself to another.
She laughed as I poured. “It’s nice of you to say that, but you don’t have to flatter me.”
“I’m not. You should absolutely sell this in the human market. I bet vampire bars would love it too. They wouldn’t even have to mix it with blood. More?” I held out the bottle to her and she nodded, allowing me to fill her glass.
“I want to tweak some things first, but I’ll think about it.” She took another small sip, the liquid beginning to stain her pink lips a dark, sultry red.
My fangs went back to throbbing, and now the ache in my cock was undeniable. I wanted to drink the wine from Tavi’s lips, taste her delicious creation mixed with the taste of her. Not even her blood, but the taste of her kiss.
And if I pricked her lip with a fang, would she like it? I knew how to feed without causing pain. The thought of her blood mixing with her wine, with her, why did it sound like the perfect cocktail? A trinity of flavors that would feed and sustain me like nothing else could.
I drew my gaze up to find Tavi staring at me. Did she catch me fantasizing about her mouth?
“I wanted to ask you something, Cyan.” She seemed nervous again, and set her wine down.
“Shoot.” I took another drink, savoring the wine while waiting for her question with bated breath.
“Do you know when I’d be able to visit Sapien?” She laced her fingers together and then pulled them apart. “I’d really like to see Amy soon, if that’s okay.”
“How about next week? I’ll have the night off Tuesday.” I set my wine on the counter. “You’ll want to stay overday, right? I’ll just need to find a spot nearby to crash during that time, but I have friends out in that direction. Shouldn’t be a problem.”
The joy lighting up her smile and eyes was something I wanted to see all the fucking time. My need to see her happiness was only slightly stronger than the ache for her blood.
“Really? Oh, that’s perfect! That would be amazing, Cyan. Thank you.”
“Sure. Also it’s completely slipped my mind, but I’ll get you two phones before then. That way, you can give one to Amy when you visit.”
A stab of guilt pierced me. If I’d been taking proper care of my blood pet like I should have, I would have gotten her a phone when she first arrived. Instead, I’d been avoiding her.
“Are you sure?” She twirled the stem of her wine glass. “You’ve done so much for me already.”
Had I, really? It felt like I’d barely done anything except neglect her. She’d been thrown into this place full of people who were not her species, and what had I done to make the transition easier? Buy her a few tubes and glass bottles while letting her crash at my place?
“It’s no issue, Tavi.” I savored her nickname like I had her wine. “You miss your friend. It’s the least I can do, actually.”
The next thing she did was beyond anything I expected. She moved slowly enough that my senses could track it, I just didn’t comprehend any of it. Tavi came close to me, reached her arms around my neck, and hugged me.
It was light at first. Tentative. Then she squeezed around my shoulders in earnest.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
I remembered too late that I didn’t have a shirt on. She was touching me, and fuck, she was warm. Soft. Her breath ghosted over my cheek. I hugged around her waist without thought, pulling her in with gentle pressure. It was wholly unfair that her back curved at just the right angle so that my arms fit comfortably around her.
Her neck was so close too. I could turn my face and my lips would make contact with that delicate, fluttering pulse. Her blood called to me like a siren’s song, desperate to break past that soft skin and flow over my tongue. She must not have known how much she was flirting with danger, how fucking hard my jaw clenched to keep myself from ripping into her like a beast.
When I couldn’t stand it anymore, on the knife edge of breaking my vow to her, I forced myself away.
Tavi’s hold around my shoulders broke abruptly as I stepped out of her embrace, my hands on her shoulders so she wouldn’t do something crazy like hug me again.
“I’m happy to help,” I told her with a strained smile. “I should probably try to get some sleep before night falls. Thank you for the wine, it really is incredible and you’re very talented. I’ll get the phones for you tonight. See you later, Tavi.”
My feet were moving before the words finished rushing out of my mouth like a waterfall. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Tavi’s face as I spoke. The risk was too high that I would kiss her, and then really taste her.
The aching in my fangs and cock didn’t cease when I got to my bedroom. I already knew sleep would not be happening so I turned on the shower, keeping the water cold. When I stripped and stepped under the freezing spray, it barely chased away the heat roaring through me.
My erection would not deflate no matter how much I tried to ignore it and give in to the cold. When I took myself in hand and stroked to ease the ache, my eyelids fell shut with a groan.
None of my usual fantasies came to mind. No memories of past hookups or wild escapades of blood and hedonism had my hips canting into the air, thrusting through my fist while freezing water pelted my shoulders and chest.
No, it was the face of a human woman with reddish-brown hair, a shy smile, and stormy eyes that had me panting and jerking myself faster, desperate for relief.
My teeth gnashed together as I approached the peak, jaws clenching painfully. The chilly, humid air of the shower was a poor substitute for a mouthful of rich, delicious blood. That was the only thing missing, aside from the human woman herself. I needed to be latched at her throat, needed that dark wine from her vein filling my mouth while I filled her.
And when my release shot through my hard flesh, and Tavi’s name left my mouth as I painted the shower walls with cum, only then did I realize how fucked I really was.