Chapter 10
ten
CIELO
Home. I am home. It feels empty without Dante beside me, but I look up and see all four moons shining in the sky. I have not been gone long, then.
The ground beneath my feet feels…strange. It is almost as though I am floating above it, though that is not possible. We have no wings. We are not like…them. The ones who live in the sky beyond.
When I glance down, I see my claws digging into the dirt, and I know that it is real.
And yet, everything feels strange. I am in my village, and I do not know how I got here. There are no fires burning, no songs, no Vyastil. My people have disappeared.
I turn the corner and see a familiar Vyastil staring off into the distance. His short, pink hair is wild from the wind, and when he turns, his gaze narrows.
“Cielo. This is your fault.”
I blink at him.
“You ruined yourself, and you ruined us.”
“Zynath.” His name slips from my lips like familiar air currents. He and I were hatched during the same breeding season. We were both deemed useless to the capital, and we were sent to the Outerlands—to work the fields before we were chosen for our strength to serve as guards.
He is my brother in almost every way. My brother just as Luca is to Dante. Perhaps not blood, but we have been together since taking our first inhale of Eretharian air.
And now he looks at me with…it is not hate. It is regret. Disappointment.
Sadness.
That is worse than hate, I think.
“What happened?”
“Punishment,” he says. “We are starving. Dying.”
I open my mouth to ask what for, but his form shimmers, and then he is gone.
I’m no longer in the village. I am in the singing caves, hiding in the shadows as a Tarek works on tinctures in a large, boiling pot.
I watch his tentacles move, his strong arms lift and break apart large stones to reveal the dusty, healing powder within.
This can help, though in this moment, I do not understand who needs help or why. But the desperation in my chest is heavy. Profound.
“Please,” I want to ask, but that is the moment I realize I am not here. I am not home.
This is a dream.
And I am still banished.
When I wake, the sun is high in the sky, and I find that Dante has left me alone in the apartment, a vial of cum sitting on the bedside table. The dream is haunting me still. I can feel the lingering anxiety from experiencing it. I do not know what it means, but it cannot be true. Can it?
If it is, I do not deserve even this cum. If my brothers are starving…
I close my eyes and breathe deeply. I cannot do anything about it now. I must live with my choices, and perhaps I can find a way to help. If that would not make things worse.
I peer over at the cum once more and find myself reaching for it despite telling myself to suffer.
My lips close around the vial, and my eyes close as I taste it. It is richer, more complete than what I was given when in the service of Rathyn.
I stare down into the empty bottle, a trill working in the back of my throat. I did not deserve that, but I consumed it anyway. I consumed something that cost Dante money.
Everything here on Earth has a price. Things cannot be bartered or traded for. How much is Dante paying for something so delicious? I need to find a way to earn money so I can pay him back.
I need to speak to Everest or even Rathyn, but I dislike being dependent on the charity of others. I’ve worked every day of my life. On Erethar, my people toil under the sun and moons, our hands calloused from overuse.
To sit around and do nothing is…foreign.
I find I do not like it.
My mind shifts suddenly to Dante, to how his hands felt on me, the way he looked above me, his cheeks flushed, his tiny nipples pebbled.
I wanted to possess him in that moment, but the fear of hurting him was too great.
I did not want to cause him any more pain.
But in that moment, I wanted to take that tiny cock into my mouth and suck.
My cock starts to shift inside of me, and I inhale deeply.
He makes me feel like I’m close to my breeding time. He draws things from me that before were only ever instinct, and I don’t know what to do about this.
I cannot breed a human male, but I want to. I want to pin him, bite him, and fertilize an egg deep inside him.
He makes me want things I know I shouldn’t.
I cannot think of this now. There will be no relief if I become more aroused, and I’m not sure I should allow that to happen again, even if I did enjoy it. Though it seems I enjoy everything I do with Dante.
The touching, the kissing, they all felt…precious.
My cock twitches within me again.
Staring up at the ceiling, I breathe deeply to calm myself down. I cannot rut here. I cannot rut with him. I would ruin his delicate, fragile human body.
Gods, I need to get out of the house.
If I stay here, I will only think of what Dante and I did together, and I will risk pouncing on him and claiming him if he returns too soon.
Perhaps I should go to the gym. I can do as Prince Quilliyn suggested and run on the floor that goes nowhere again, or learn how to use the other equipment.
They all looked very complicated and pointless, but the humans seemed to enjoy them.
Perhaps it will keep me distracted and calm, the way it does for the prince.
I pull on my pink jacket and make the long walk to the gym, the cool air hitting my skin and making my skin ripple. It will be hard to grow used to the cold, dry air here. In Erethar, it is warmer, the coolness of rain only coming when the cyrathis clouds form.
Here it seems to be wet all the time, and there is snow. It is melting now, but it is something I do not particularly enjoy. I would rather be warm and basking in the sun.
When I enter the warm gym, I find happiness. I know I should reject it, but it is getting harder and harder to deny myself. I am growing weaker the longer I am away from my people.
I’m starting to feel more…human.
But is that a bad thing?
I cannot think of it too long while here, so instead, I let my gaze roam around the gym, looking for a familiar face. Perhaps someone will have words of advice for me.
Only, there is no one I recognize.
My ears droop, and my tail curls around me tightly.
I suddenly feel out of place, like I don’t belong.
I can feel eyes on me, which makes my hearts beat faster in my chest. I wonder if I should just leave, but before I can, a voice stops me.
A girl behind the desk appears, dots across her nose like Luca’s, her lips a dark pink.
“Hey,” she says softly with a kind smile. “Can I help you?”
I open my mouth and then close it again. I wish I could speak human languages better. I wish I could communicate, but both Dante and Luca told me that even with signed languages, only a small number of humans know them.
“Can you speak English?”
I think about attempting to, but it will only frustrate both of us, so I shake my head.
“Oh, hey, no worries. Um…” She taps her lips, and then her blue eyes meet mine. “You have a card to scan you in?”
A card? I have never needed one before. I do not even know what this is.
She must sense my confusion because she just shrugs. “Hold on. Let me look you up in the system. I’ve seen you before. I’m sure you’re in here.” Her fingers fly across the keyboard, and then she glances up again. “Okay. Can you tell me your name?”
That I can do. “Cielo.”
“Oh, very cool. Um. How do you spell that?”
I glance down and then hold up my hand, fingerspelling it for her as I hope that she can understand.
Her eyes brighten. “Oh! Oh, I’m taking ASL right now. Motherfucking yes. This is so cool. Hold on.” She lifts her hands and signs, ‘My name Breanna. Your name what?’
My lips stretch into a smile, my tight chest deflating. ‘Nice to meet you. My name Cielo.’
I make sure to fingerspell it slowly. She mouths each letter as I sign, and she types it in before beaming up at me. “Ah, yes, I see you here. You’re a new member. Welcome. Let me know if you need anything.”
I cock my head, not sure what she means. I’ve never been a member of anything other than my clan, but I like it. To be a part of something once more feels special.
‘Quilliyn here?’
It takes her a moment to understand the letters I spell, but she shakes her head when she does. “No, he’s…” she frowns and then signs, ‘Home.’
Ah, home. I’m not sure if she means Erethar or if he has an abode somewhere on Earth, which I’m sure he does. Vyastil of his station have always been provided nice accommodations.
Nothing like what the other Outerlanders and I were given.
But it’s not worth thinking about now. I shrug, then sign a quick, ‘Thank you,’ before stepping away from the desk and toward the large machines that humans are using to make their muscles get larger.
I wonder if I should stay and try to figure out how to use them on my own, but the more I watch, the more overwhelmed I am. Once again, I feel like I don’t belong here, and I make a distressed trill in the back of my throat, the sound of it making me wince.
I need to leave, to get out of here. To go back home. I turn to run, but her soft, kind voice stops me.
“Hey, um. Hey, Cielo,” Breanna says. “If you’re not sure where to start, I think I can help. I know Q isn’t here, but my brother is. He can show you the ropes if you’d like.”
I peer over my shoulder and follow her outstretched hand. There are three men standing in front of small iron bars stacked on racks. They’re grunting at each other, a round bar in each hand, their muscles bulging as they lift them.
It is a strange human ritual.
“Come on. They’re really nice.”
I wonder if that is true. I remember how men who looked like that hurt Everest, but Breanna is small and weak, and she does not seem afraid.
Instead, she bounds out from behind the desk and nearly skips toward them. I’m left to follow, my claws clacking on the floor as I move. I can feel the humans in the gym watching me, and I force myself not to look.