12. Chapter 11
Austin - The Past
Apparently in the Carter household Ticket To Ride is quite the competitive game. Riley won in the end. But only after a ton of fighting with Robert. Mr. and Mrs. Carter are in the kitchen, working on the dinner dishes. They assigned Raegan and I to clean up the game. Not that hard of a task.
I stand in the cozy green plaid wall-papered den perusing a wall of built-in bookshelves which hold a lot of ranch guides, cookbooks, books for children, and a large selection of adult fiction. The rest of the shelves house a myriad of board games, DVDs, and a few video games.
The table for playing games is worn, giving testimony to the competitiveness of this family.
Sometimes I’m a little jealous of them. They’re a perfect family.
A mom and dad; clearly in love by the copious amount of PDA that is always happening.
They don’t care if I’m around, they kiss like no one is watching.
And there are three happy children. All adored by their parents. None of them ignored or forgotten.
“Help me get these pieces put away,” Raegan whisper-yells. I pull my finger away from the spines of the books I’d been sliding it along.
“Sure-” I pause, and lower my voice. “Why are we whispering?”
Raegan shrugs her shoulders sheepishly and grins, her eyes twinkling.
She starts scooping up the green trains and I go for the red.
Our hands brush and a buzz of awareness shoots a shiver down my spine.
Did it happen for her as well? This feeling is incredible, better than the feeling from a home run.
I need to chase this feeling. I want more of it.
I want that electricity to take me to my knees. I need her fingers to touch mine again.
The trains are all safe in their little baggies, and I hold out the box lid for Raegan.
I grip it awkwardly, hoping that her fingers will caress mine as she takes it from my hands.
She tugs on the corners, and I refuse to let it go.
My heart starts beating in triple time. If she wants this box lid, she’s going to have to pry it from my hands.
She doesn’t loosen her grip on the edges of the box. Instead, she slowly makes her way around the table, closer to me. Her blue-gray eyes lock with mine. The sparks of steel that crackle in her eyes make my body heat, like someone hiked the thermostat to eighty.
Her thick lashes brush her cheeks as she slowly blinks at me.
Her eyes hold mine, not wavering. My palms are sweaty, and I’m pretty sure my forearms are starting to shake.
I nearly let go of the box as I memorize every feature of her face.
Her adorable nose, and that little dip right above her lips.
I want to taste them. I need to taste them. What do I do next? Just lean in and kiss her now? It takes all my concentration to pull my eyes from her face. I dart my eyes around the room, allowing my blood to cool just a few degrees. A sprig of mistletoe hanging in the doorway snags my attention.
An idea begins to form. The doorway can’t be seen from the kitchen. My eyes flit from the mistletoe to Raegan and back. She looks at me like she’s trying to figure out what I’m thinking. I release the box into her grasp and step toward the doorway.
“Come here.” It comes out as a deep husky whisper.
Confusion covers her face, as she stares at the box lid in her hands. She cocks her head, her gaze now on me. My chest rises and falls rapidly as she studies me. I flit my eyes up to the mistletoe above me and then back to her.
Her lips take on a cheeky grin as she places the box on the table and walks slowly toward me. She carefully steps over a spot that I’ve noticed squeaks when stepped on.
My pulse is buzzing. She’s got the idea now, and my stomach twists because I’ve never done this before… What if I mess it up? What if she doesn’t like my lips? What if they’re too wet? Or somehow I drool on her?
There have been plenty of opportunities to steal a quick kiss. And I’ve waited. Wanting to make sure we’re both ready. I don’t want to rush her or intimidate her.
She stands in front of me. Her hair, golden in the glow of the low lighting.
Goosebumps pop up all over my body. Like a sloth, I raise a shaky hand to her cheek. My fingertips trail from her cheek down to her chin. She’s so smooth and soft. As if I could break her if I press too hard. The contact shoots heat through my veins down into my belly.
My eyes wander her face, taking in the light freckles, the long lashes, the pewter in her eyes. I grab her one arm with my sweaty hand, I hope it doesn’t gross her out. My thumb rubs small circles on her wrist. Her eyelids are closing, and I can hear the little puffs of air as they exit her nose.
Is this going to happen?
I lean down. Too quickly, and our noses crash together. My heart races like a ball player trying to beat the outfielder scrambling for the ball.
Her minty breath whispers over my lips. She’s breathing just as fast as I am. I swallow and it seems to echo through the room. The tension is so thick, and I nearly lose myself in her eyes.
Before I can attempt to kiss her again… Her lips press against mine.
My eyes widen before dropping closed. I freeze.
Relishing the feel of her lips on mine. Life goes on around us.
The sound of the dog's nails on the wood floor, the dishes clanking in the sink, and the low volume of voices all fall away.
All that exists are Raegan's lips on mine.
My restless thumb stops on her wrist, her pulse thumping underneath the pad of my finger. Slowly, I part my lips and my breath dances across her lips. I turn my head just a fraction, and slant my lips back down over hers. Sealing us together.
So this is what it feels like.
Heat everywhere.
Goosebumps everywhere.
I shiver, but I’m not cold. My heart beats in my chest like it does when Fourth of July fireworks go off.
Like when a song hits just right. Is there anything better than this in the world?
The pressure of her lips increases and she melts into me, placing a hand over my racing heart to hold herself steady.
Her other hand slides up the back of my neck and tangles in my curls. As if she’s weak-kneed over our first kiss, her leg grazes mine as she leans in closer.
I slowly pull back, tipping my head back and resting it against the door frame. I chew on my lower lip and meet her gaze. She gazes up at me, and if I didn’t know better I would say she loves me.
“That was the best thing I’ve ever experienced.” My voice is a rasp, and I shove a hand through my curls.
She looks down at the floor then back up at me, her cheeks the prettiest pink I’ve ever seen.
Am I standing on the floor or floating in the air?
“I can’t imagine anything better.”
Her words hit me in the chest, and I’m so tempted to lean down for another taste.
Raegan
I lay in bed replaying the kiss over and over as I trace my fingers over my lips. That kiss. That kiss was everything a first kiss should be. I’m so giddy I can’t sleep. I have to tell Jaimie and Chrissy. I haven’t told mom yet, but I’ll get around to it.
Raegan to Chrissy and Jaimie:
Y’ALL
Chrissy responds instantly.
Chrissy:
HE KISSED YOU!!!
Jaimie’s reply pops up a few seconds later.
Jaimie:
Did he kiss you!?
Raegan to Chrissy and Jaimie:
More like I kissed him!
GIF of girl with cotton candy grinning
Chrissy:
ARE YOU KIDDING US!?!?
GIF of fireworks
Chrissy:
SO?!?!?! WHAT WAS IT LIKE!?
Was it anything like the books and movies!?
Raegan to Chrissy and Jaimie:
It was everything and more. *sigh*
Y’all I could shovel the whole dang barn.
I’m on cloud 9. Or maybe this is cloud 10!
But my foot didn’t pop. sadness.
Jaimie:
I’m so happy for you, Rae!!
Did he ask you to be his girlfriend?
Raegan to Chrissy and Jaimie:
We didn’t talk about it. I kissed him first. Then we just kind of stared at each other, and then he left.
Jaimie:
HOLD UP!!! YOU KISSED IN FRONT OF YOUR PARENTS!?!?!
Insert shocked emoji
Raegan to Chrissy and Jaimie:
NOOOOOOO!!!!
Insert three laughing emojis
It was under the mistletoe in the den doorway
Chrissy:
Which can’t be seen from the kitchen. Good choice, Austin.
So, wait, did you start the kiss or did he?
Jaimie:
We need all the deets girl!!
I roll over onto my side, dragging my purple sheets with me. What even is my life now? It’s almost too good to be true. I mean, every girl dreams of meeting a handsome guy in high school and falling in love with him.
And it’s not just the fact that he’s handsome.
I’ve watched him change since he got to Clear Creek.
There’s a light in his eyes that wasn’t there the first couple weeks.
I was the first person he told after he gave his life to Christ. He’s stepped up to be a role model for his sister, he entertains and puts up with my brothers.
He’s respectful to my mom, works hard for my dad.
Hasn’t pushed for anything physical in our relationship. He’s one of the good ones.
In love?
Am I? I like him. I think I even love him. But am I in love with him?
I run my fingers over my lips. They don’t feel different to the touch. But on the inside… They feel so different. I feel so different.
Austin:
I can’t sleep. Can you?
Raegan to Chrissy and Jaimie:
Y’all! He just texted me!!
Raegan to Austin:
No.
Insert blushing emoji
I have so much energy. I told C and J that I was on cloud 9… or maybe this is cloud 10.
Chrissy:
WHAT DID HE SAY!?
Raegan to Chrissy and Jaimie:
Um, he said that he can’t sleep. lol
Austin:
Wish I could see your face right now. Rae… You’re the best.
You busy tomorrow?
Chrissy:
Did you tell him that you can’t sleep either?
I guess the kiss was just as amazing for him as it was for you!
Insert heart eye emoji
Raegan to Austin:
Well, I do have school
Insert wink emoji
But I don’t have plans for the evening.
Austin:
I can’t stop thinking about our kiss.
I want another one soon.
Sleep well Rae.
Insert kissing emoji
Raegan to Chrissy and Jaimie:
He said he wants another kiss soon.
Insert fainting GIF
Chrissy:
Ima start bouncing off the bed if this keeps up!!!!!
Rae I’m just so excited for you!
We’ll talk more about this at school!