Chapter 23
CONFESSIONS | PART II
Marlon.
People always assume the Dom was in control in most agreements, but that’s not the case.
Any seasoned Dom knows that it’s our Sub who controls us.
My needs came second when it comes to her.
She says she needs me and I’m on the way.
She says she’s upset and I’ll do everything in my power to change that.
She says she’s upset with me? I was ready to jump out the fucking window.
When she didn’t show up to work, I told myself to leave it alone.
Give her space. Let her cool off.
That’s what people say you supposed to do in situations like this.
But that doesn't work with Aurora.
And after last night, I wasn’t about to sit in my office and hoping she was fine, I pulled up to her hotel mid-morning. By the time I knocked on her door, I knew she was in there.
I could feel it. Took a second, then I knocked again. This time Chew Toy barked. Then the door opened. She stood there in an oversized tee and shorts, hair a mess, face bare. She looked so tired.
“Are you crazy?” she asked.
“I just came to check on you.”
“Why Marlon, why?”
Why do you think?
“You didn’t come in,” I said. “I wanted to make sure you were okay?”
She scoffed, stepping back and leaving the door open so I could come in.
“I am unwell,” she said, walking further into the room. “I am entitled to sick days last time I check.”
She turned slightly, eyes cutting at me.
“Even though you’re the sick one.”
I closed the door behind me, letting that comment roll off my back.
“Yes, you are entitled to sick days,” I said. “And you can take all the sick days you want, Bunny.”
She didn’t react to the nickname.
“But let’s discuss what happened first.”
She stopped walking and slowly turned to face me.
“To what end?” she asked. “What’s it gonna change? You can’t unfuck my dead mother so what does it matter?”
Ouch.
“It matters ‘cause I hurt you,” I said. “I should’ve told you and I didn’t. I’m so sorry for that.”
Silence. She looked at me for a long second.
“Is that it?”
“No,” I groaned. “That’s not it.”
I stepped a little closer.
“Tell me how you feel about this,” I said. “Talk to me. Communication.”
She let out a breath that sounded like it had been sitting in her chest all night.
“I feel like shit, Marlon,” she confessed. “That’s what I feel like. I’m disgusted with you right now.”
“Okay,” I nodded. “Well… let it all out. Let me have it.”
She blinked because that threw her off.
“Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously,” I said. “Give me hell, Aurora. I can take it. For you? I’ll take it all.”
She studied me for a second, like she was trying to figure out if I was playing with her.
“Alright,” she said slowly. “Well. You might as well get comfortable ‘cause I got a lot of shit to say.”
I nodded once and walked over to the couch and sat down.
Chewy jumped up beside me almost immediately, climbing into my lap. I scratched behind his ear without thinking, letting him settle while I kept my eyes on her.
“Go on.”
She stood there for a second after I said it, deciding where to even start.
Her arms crossed over her chest, then dropped.
Then she dragged her hands down her face, pacing once across the room before turning back to me.
Chewy shifted in my lap, settling his weight.
I kept my hand moving over his head while I watched her.
“Go on,” I said again, quieter this time.
She let out a sharp breath.
“Okay,” she said, her hands came up, gesturing as she spoke. “You want honesty? You want communication? Let’s start with the fact that you let me walk around here looking stupid.”
She pointed at me.
“Do you know how crazy everything sounded coming out your mouth last night? Do you even hear yourself when you talk?”
“I do,” I said low.
“No, you don’t,” she snapped. “Because if you did, you would’ve said that shit a long time ago. Instead, you sat there and looked me in my face every day knowing you had history with my mother and said nothing.”
Her voice cracked just a little on the word mother.
“And now I’m supposed to just… what? Process that like it’s normal?”
“It’s not normal,” I agreed.
“No shit,” she shot back. “I’m embarrassed. I’m confused. And yeah—” she pointed at me again—“I’m disgusted.”
That word hit again but she went on. “You don’t see how that looks? You don’t see how that makes me feel?”
“I do.”
“Then say it,” she demanded. “Say it out loud. Say why it’s messed up.”
I held her gaze.
“…because I should’ve told you before anything happened between us.”
“That’s part of it,” she said. “Keep going.”
I clenched my jaw slightly.
“…because it blurs lines that shouldn’t be blurred.”
She laughed.
“Blurs lines?” she repeated. “That’s what you going with?”
“What do you want me to say, Aurora?”
“The truth,” she shot back, then she got close to me. She leaned in until she was in my face, nose to nose. “Say that you knew it was wrong and you did it anyway.”
Silence stretched for a second. I licked my lips before I spoke.
“…I knew it was wrong,” I said. “And I did it anyway.”
She nodded slowly.
“Good job,” she said. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
I reached for her but she pulled away. She walked over to the window, arms wrapping around herself this time, looking out but not really seeing anything.
“And you know what makes it worse?” she said after a second.
I didn’t respond.
“You don’t even realize how deep that cuts,” she continued. “You so stuck in your guilt and your past, you not even thinking about how this lands on me.”
“I am thinking about you.”
Chewy shifted in my lap, nudging my hand when I stopped petting him. I started again without thinking.
She watched that for a second.
Then sighed.
“You really messed this up,” she said. “And I don’t even know what to do with that.”
“I’m here,” I said. “We figure it out.”
She shook her head slowly.
“I don’t know if I want to figure it out,” she admitted. “I feel like the whole thing was a waste.”
“It wasn’t, Bunny.”
“Oh yeah?” she said stepping closer, eyes locked on mine. “Tell me one thing. When you were with me, while we were having sex… did you ever look at me and think of my mother?”
Her eyes were pleading with me, begging me to say no. And I couldn’t.
“…yes.”
“Wow.”
“I know, it’s fucked up.”
“So you lied to me! I asked you if you thought about someone else and you said no!”
“It didn’t happen at that point, Bunny. It only happened when you told me you loved me.”
She stared at me. “I seriously can’t believe you.”
“What do you want me to do, Rory?” I stood, my voice tighter now. “Lie and dig a bigger hole for myself?”
She flinched slightly at that.
“But I’ve never compared you two,” I added quickly. “I’m not looking for her in you. I’m not reliving anything. I’m not doing that. I care about you. I see you. I love you. I just—”
“Stop.”
I froze. “What?”
“You love me now?”
That made me pause. Because I heard it the second it came out my mouth.
Now I didn’t take it back because it wasn’t a mistake.
“…I’ve been in love with you, Aurora,” I said. “I just… couldn’t say it.”
She shook her head immediately.
“You don’t love me.”
“I do.”
“You don’t.”
“I do, Bunny,” I said, stepping closer again. “I love you so much. I’ve never loved anyone like I do you. I swear.”
“Marlon—”
She squeezed her eyes shut and held it there for a second like she was trying to gather herself. Then opened them again.
And when she looked at me this time—
She was done.
“I need space,” she said. “I need you to go.”
“Rory—”
“Now,” she cut in. “Let me get a minute to think.”
I didn’t move. “Is that what you want?”
“Yes.”
I nodded slowly.
“Okay. Take your time. I’ll wait.”
“No,” she said immediately. “You gotta go.”
She didn’t even wait for me to respond before she turned and walked into her room, closing the door behind her.
I stood there in the middle of her living room. Chewy looked up at me from the couch, then laid his head back down like none of this had anything to do with him.
I exhaled slowly, dragging my hand over my face.
I should’ve left.
That’s what she asked for after all.
That’s what she needed.
But my feet didn’t move.
So I stayed right there, sat on her couch, opened my emails on my phone and let the numbers stare back at me. None of it stuck.
I typed. Deleted. Read the same line three times without processing it.
Every few minutes, my eyes drifted back to that door.
Chewy shifted beside me at one point, letting out a small sigh before settling again. I scratched behind his ear without thinking, the motion automatic and something to do with my hands.
Time dragged.
I don’t even know how long I sat there before the door finally opened and Chewy ran to it. Traitor.
I looked up immediately as Aurora stepped out.
Active wear? Hair pulled back tight? No makeup?
She didn’t look at me as she grabbed Chewy’s leash, clipped it on and checked her phone like I wasn’t even in the room.
“What are you still doing here, Marlon?”
“Waiting,” I said.
She finally glanced at me quick, then away again.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“To walk Chewy.”
“I’ll come with.”
“Marlon.”
There was a warning in that.
“Bunny,” I said, standing up. “Please.”
She held my gaze for a second.
Long enough to make it clear she didn’t want to do this.
Then she exhaled, shaking her head slightly.
“Fine,” she said. “Just stay out of the way.”
We stepped outside together.
Well—
She stepped out and I followed. A few steps behind, not too close yet not too far.
Chewy pulled at the leash, excited, nose down, moving faster than her pace. She adjusted without thinking, letting him lead while keeping control.
But the entire time, she didn’t offer not a single glance back at me nor check if I was still there. People passed by, some walking dogs, some on their phones, none of them paying us any attention.
After a while, her pace slowed until she stopped.