5. Chapter 5
TATE
Iam already awake listening to Reese’s easy breathing. I don’t know what the fuck is happening to me.
Since I have been old enough to learn to fight and wield a gun, I have done important work for my father. I have brought down bad men and protected our family’s interests.
And yet nothing in my entire fucking life felt like it mattered more than holding this woman in my arms while she fought her demons.
That realization scares the shit out of me. I’ve never let anyone in like this. I’ve never given a shit about anyone outside my family. And within a few days, Reese has become something to me that I don’t know how to explain, even to myself.
My baby girl. I’ve never even called a woman that before. I doubt she even realizes that.
I don’t know if this is what happened to Fox, or my dad, but even if I wanted to stop it, I don’t think I fucking could.
No one has ever looked at me the way she did last night. Like I was the very air she needed. And I don’t know what the fuck to do with it, because if something happened to her, I don’t know what the fuck I would do.
She’s still asleep, curled against my chest with her face tucked into my neck. Her breathing is still slow and even, her body soft and warm. She hasn’t had a single nightmare since she fell asleep in my arms.
I gave her that. I don’t know why it matters so much, but it does.
My phone buzzed half the night and started again this morning.
I need to deal with it. I need to call Fox and figure out a plan that doesn’t end with me going to war against every Raven in Boston.
But not yet. I just want to hold onto what I can here at the cabin with her for a little bit longer before things get far more dangerous.
After another hour, she’s still sleeping. I figure I need a shower and a pot of coffee, so I can figure out what the hell I’m doing to ensure none of those fucks ever come near her again.
I ease out from under her carefully, trying not to wake her. She makes a soft sound of protest and reaches for me, her fingers brushing against empty sheets.
“Tate?” Her voice is rough with sleep.
“I’m here, baby girl.” I brush the hair back from her face. “Go back to sleep. I’m just going to shower.”
Her eyes flutter open. “What time is it?”
“Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to get up yet.”
She pushes herself up on one elbow, and the sheet falls away from her shoulder. She’s still wearing that tank top that does nothing to hide her tits, and my cock twitches.
Jesus, Tate. Think about anything else but how much you want her.
“I’m awake now.” She rubs her eyes and looks at me. It’s more like she’s checking out my body, and something in her expression shifts. “Can I join you?”
I should say no. I want her so fucking bad that I’m not positive I could keep my fucking hands to myself. She already knows what she’ll have to do if she wants me to fuck her, and if she says the words, it’s over. Not putting her naked body with mine in the shower would be the smart play.
But I’ve never been smart when it comes to things I fucking want. And I want her in the shower with me pretty goddamn bad.
“Are you sure about that, baby girl?”
It’s my last attempt to make certain she knows what she’s doing. I don’t know the rules for someone who’s been what she’s been through, but I know that I am still who the fuck I am.
“I’m sure.” She sits up fully. She seems lighter than she did yesterday, which I’ll take as a win given what we are going to have to overcome. “Unless you don’t want me to.”
“That’s not the fucking problem.”
“Then what is?”
I lean down until my face is inches from hers. “The problem is that if you get in that shower with me, I’m not keeping my hands off you. And after last night, I’m trying not to make you feel like you have to—”
“Please.” She cuts me off, her chin lifting. “What I want is you. I’m prepared to beg.”
Fuck me.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for.”
“Then show me.” Her eyes flash. “Or are you all talk, Sinclair?”
There she is. The sharp, fierce woman who told me to go fuck myself the first night we met. And I’m glad she’s back
“Get up.” I straighten and head toward the bathroom. I don’t look back to see if she’s following. I know she fucking is.
The bathroom is all marble and glass, with a walk-in shower big enough for six people. I turn on the water and let it heat up while I strip off my boxers. My cock is already half hard, and I know I’m going to be lost the minute she’s in here with me.
I step under the spray and let the hot water beat down on my shoulders. A few seconds later, I hear her footsteps on the tile.
I turn to look at her, and every thought in my head disappears.
She’s standing just outside the glass door, completely naked.
All soft curves and those gray eyes watching me with a mix of nervousness and hunger.
Her nipples are already tight, begging for my mouth.
The curve of her waist, the flare of her hips, the smooth skin between her thighs—I want to lick every inch of her body.
I’ve seen a lot of naked women. I’ve fucked more than I can count. But none of them have ever hit me like this—like if I don’t get my hands on her in the next five seconds, I might actually lose my goddamn mind.
“Get in here, baby girl. Now.”
She steps into the shower, and the water cascades over her body, turning her skin slick and glistening. I watch the water run down her tits, her stomach, and between her thighs.
“You’re staring.” She pushes her wet hair back from her face.
“Just taking in what’s mine.” I close the distance between us slowly, giving her time to back away. She doesn’t. “Every inch of you. So I can decide what I want to taste first.”
Her lips part. “Tate—”
“I’ve been thinking about this since I first saw you at Velum.” My body presses to hers. “Thinking about what you’d look like underneath me, behind me, tied up and begging. What sounds you’d make when I’m inside you.”
She moans and grips my shoulders.
I reach out and trace my finger down the center of her chest, between her tits, down her stomach.
Her muscles jump under my touch. I stop just above her pussy, and she whimpers.
“I imagined fucking you in every position possible. I imagined making you come so many times you’d become addicted to me. And then I’d do it all over again.”
“Then stop talking about it.” She grabs my wrist and pushes my hand lower. My fingers slide through slick heat. She’s already soaked, and it’s not from the shower. “And fucking do it.”
I grip her hip and spin us around, pressing her back against the shower wall. She hisses when the cool tile hits her skin.
“Here’s how this is going to work.” I pin her wrists above her head with one hand and grip her jaw with the other. “I’m going to take my time with you. I’m going to make you beg. And you’re not coming until I say so. Understand?”
“Yes.” The word comes out breathy.
“Yes what?”
“Yes . . . please.”
“That’s a good baby girl.” I lean down and kiss her.
The kiss is not soft or gentle. I kiss her like I’ve been starving for her, because I have. I control exactly how deep my tongue goes, and I take her mouth like it belongs to me.
She moans against my lips, and the sound goes straight to my cock. Her hips rock forward, seeking friction, but I press her harder against the wall.
“Not yet.” I break the kiss and drag my mouth down her throat. “You don’t come until I say.”
“Tate—”
“Do you trust me?”
She goes still. I lift my head to look at her, and something passes between us. This isn’t just about sex. We both know it.
“Yes.” She says it quietly. “I trust you.”
“Then let me show you what it’s supposed to feel like when someone owns you.”
Her eyes go wet, and she nods.
I release her wrists and drop to my knees.
She sucks in a breath, her back pressing harder against the tile as I grip her thighs and spread them apart. The water rains down on my shoulders, steam rising around us.
“I want—” She stops and swallows.
“Tell me.” I press a kiss to her inner thigh, and she trembles. I can smell how much she wants this, rich and sweet.
“I want you to make me forget.” Her voice shakes, but she doesn’t look away. “Every man who ever touched me. Every face I see when I close my eyes. Every nightmare. I want you to replace all of it. I only ever want to see you.”
My chest goes fucking tight.
“I want to close my eyes and only see your face.” Tears slide down her cheek, mixing with the water. “I want to feel your hands on me and not remember theirs. Can you do that?”
I rise up and cup her face, wiping the tears away with my thumbs.
“I’m going to fuck every memory of them right out of your head.” My voice comes out rough. “By the time I’m done, the only hands you’ll feel are mine. The only face you’ll see is mine. The only name on your lips will be mine.”
“Promise?”
“I fucking promise. As many times as it takes.”
I kiss her lips again, then drop back down and bury my face between her thighs.
She cries out, her hands flying to my hair as I drag my tongue through her folds. She’s drenched. I can taste how much she wants this. She tastes sweet, and she’s all fucking mine.
“Oh god.” Her head falls back against the tile. “Tate—”
“You taste so fucking good.” I spread her open with my thumbs and lick her again, slower this time. I flatten my tongue and drag it from her entrance to her clit, then back down. “I could eat this pussy for hours.”
Her body jerks from pleasure. I find her clit and circle it with the tip of my tongue, light and teasing. She whimpers and tries to grind against my face, but I grip her hips and hold her still.
“Please.” Her fingers tighten in my hair, pulling hard enough to sting. “I need more.”
“I told you. You don’t come until I say.”
I work her up slowly. I lick and suck, teasing her until her thighs are trembling and she’s making desperate, broken sounds. Every time she gets close—every time I feel her thighs shake and her pussy clench—I back off, switching to long, slow strokes that keep her right on the edge.