Chapter 32
THIRTY-TWO
LANCE
TWO WEEKS LATER
I’m in my office, staring at the headline on my monitor:
Billionaire Gabriel Lochland, brutally shot and killed in a gang robbery at his own nightclub.
I scroll through the article, absorbing the rest of the inaccuracies. They said he was shot in the head. Wrong. It was two bullets to the heart. They said that tragically, he died alone. Wrong again. He died in Vienne’s arms.
The article proceeds to outline how his entire fortune was left to various charities—rehabilitation programs, orphanages and child services, battered women’s shelters, and mass fortunes donated to foreign leaders to help with political reform in war-torn countries. BandAids for bullet wounds. But at least he tried.
Vienne asked for our discretion in the matter. But an NDA wasn’t necessary. We’re assassins…who are we going to talk to? I asked her if she was okay, and her answer was cryptically simple: “Now I have something to look forward to.”
She never elaborated, but I assume it means death. When she can be with Gabriel again. Maybe in the next life they’ll be unburdened with duty, politics, and the destructive chaos of the world. Maybe in an alternate reality, it’s simple, and they can just be lovers. In a twisted way, I want that for them. A fresh start. New identities. Their love was wretched—full of lies, broken promises, and pain. But it was as real as it gets.
Knock, knock.
“Come in,” I say.
The door handle twists, and Vesper walks into my office, wearing dark denim jeans and a maroon T-shirt. I motion to the chair opposite of me, but Vesper opts to stay standing. “I only have a minute. How are you doing?”
“Fine.” I swivel my monitor around so Vesper can glimpse the article I’m looking at. “Did you see this?”
She nods.
“Have you talked to Vienne?”
Vesper nods again.
“Can I get a verbal response? If I wanted silence and brooding, I’d go hover around Linc.”
Vesper smiles. “She’s going to be okay in time, and the President is none the wiser. They are simply mourning a friend.”
I push back against my desk, running my hands over my dark gray slacks. “Know what I keep wondering?”
“What’s that?”
“If it came down to it, would she have killed him herself? Or would she have let the monster run loose?”
“I don’t know.” Vesper folds her arms across her chest. “Love is blind, but Vienne should know better. Like me, she doesn’t have the luxury of love. It’s not the life we agreed to.”
I trill my fingers against the desk, wondering which of my many unanswered questions I should ask. The way Vesper’s body is angled toward the door, I know she’s itching to get to whatever is next on her agenda today. I probably have time for one answer.
“What happens to Aeon now?”
“What do you mean?” Vesper’s brows knit together in confusion. “Aeon remains.”
“We’re just going to let a U.S. government–approved criminal organization continue to run rampant?”
Vesper angles her chin, and her lips curl down into a pensive frown. “Isn’t PALADIN the same thing?”
“What do you mean?”
“We do evil to stop evil. We’re not lawless, but we’re not white knights. Aeon serves a similar purpose. And now that we know they are not actually our enemy, we have other monsters to chase.”
I shrug. “I guess it’s odd to know we have a sister organization.”
Vesper’s eyes drop to the ground. “We have far more than one. PALADIN and Aeon are two of many, Lance. You’d need a lifetime to uncover all the secrets the government is trying to keep hidden.”
“Such as?” I lean forward in my seat, my face furrowing in concern.
She winks. “Stories for another day, hm?”
My phone chimes, and the notification across the top of the screen catches my attention.
C
Meet me in the break room.
My little sneak. She’s supposed to be at home, on bedrest. What’s she doing at headquarters?
“Anything else, Lance?” Vesper asks with one foot pointed toward the door.
“Yeah… One small favor I never got the chance to ask you.”
She arches one brow. “Yes?”
“Cricket and I are planning on getting married. I was thinking you could officiate. It’d just mean something to have your blessing, and I was just thinking…” I trail off, watching Vesper press her lips together so hard they lose color. At first, I misinterpret her reaction as frustration, but when I see her try to cover a sniffle, I realize she’s trying not to cry.
“I’d like that, Lance. More than anything. Let me know when you’re ready.” She turns around, and tries to leave, but I fly out of my seat and catch her at the door, wrapping her in a tight hug.
Her stiff body relaxes when she realizes I’m not going to let go until she hugs me back. “I love you, V. I love our family.” I kiss the top of her head.
She pulls away and looks at me with wet eyes. “The fact that you still know how to love is my biggest accomplishment. I love you too, Lancelot.”
She tries to slip out of my arms, but I continue to smother her until I’m good and ready to let go.
CRICKET
I wait for Lance in the break room with a frosted cupcake in my hand. I stupidly lit the candle, and if he doesn’t hurry his ass up, he’s going to have melted wax all over this buttercream frosting.
Perched on the counter, I kick my heels softly against the cabinets with nothing to do but wait and think. I reflect on the chaotic whirlwind of the past two months and how much someone can change in what seems like a sliver of time.
I used to think that you start life whole. Then slowly and surely, life chips away at you until you’re broken and fragmented. Hearts start off full and smooth, only to be left worn and jagged, full of sharp, dangerous angles, like broken glass.
But now, I think my mind is changing.
Maybe we don’t start with all the pieces. Perhaps each trial and tragedy adds to the full picture. It’s possible we need to live in hell to hope for heaven.
Luca didn’t break me. He added a fury in me. Because of Luca, I had to become stronger and more resilient. Lance’s betrayal didn’t take away; he grounded me. He loved me at all costs and valued my life when I didn’t value it myself. Gabriel taught me more than anyone can comprehend. He made me grateful for what I have. I watched the consequences of unrequited love tear him to pieces. And I will never again take for granted the people who love me wholly.
Lance, Vesper, Eden, Linc, and Callen…all this time, I was never alone. Never lost. I’m like a cricket, strong in numbers. I can mourn one family, while still celebrating another. And when I look at what life has added, versus what it’s taken away, my purpose doesn’t seem so hazy anymore.
I look up as the break room door opens, and Lance slips in, wearing a clean, white under T-shirt—that he usually pairs with his favorite leather jacket—and gray slacks. He’s still rebelling against Vesper’s business casual dress code. He closes the door behind him and leans backward against it, folding his arms across his chest. “This is not a bed, C. And as sexy as that dress is, it does not look comfortable. The doctor said—”
“I don’t care what the doctor said. Lock the door, playboy. Come here.”
I purposely hike up my skintight purple bodycon dress, worn specifically today to seduce Lance at the office. I uncross my legs, then set the cupcake on the edge of the counter between my thighs.
He turns and locks the door. Lance bites his bottom lip as his eyes trail over me but doesn’t move after that. In fact, he seems to fold his arms even tighter this time.
“Come here. I have dessert for you.”
“I see that,” Lance says. “And looks like you also have a cupcake.”
I smirk at him. “And you can eat them in whichever order you prefer.”
He grins wide, his smile spreading across his entire face. “What are you doing here, baby? Vesper told you to keep your ass out of headquarters until we’re in the clear from your head injury.”
The candle has burned down as far as it can, so I hunch over and blow out the flame. “I snuck into the live fire room—”
“Dammit, Cricket—”
“I have to practice,” I insist.
“But Vesper specifically said that gunshots could be triggering. You have a TBI.”
I roll my eyes at him. “Are you going to be a tattletale again and rat me out?”
He throws me a sharp glance. “I will snitch on your ass ten times a day if it means keeping you safe. And I’ll happily deal with that haughty little attitude of yours until the end of time.” He winks at me.
I’m sure he expects a sassy response in reply, but instead, I poke the cupcake, collecting a dollop of frosting on my fingertip. I hold it out to Lance. He crosses the room in three strides. Within seconds, my finger is in his mouth.
“Delicious,” he says. “It tastes homemade.”
I nod. “Because I made it. The rest are in the fridge.”
“What?” he says, his inflection rising. “Since when do you bake?”
I drop my eyes to my lap, examining my bare thighs. After two weeks of fluid and food, the color has returned to my body, but the bruises are still fading. There are so many bumps and bruises from when Gabriel’s henchman threw me around like a lifeless rag doll. I’ll never know if it was spite or carelessness. He can’t talk. Lance blew his brains out.
“I bake because I can’t shoot anymore.” I flash him a quick smile, then nod toward the cupcake. “This is me, trying to be useful to the team.”
“Okay.” He sighs. “How’d it go in there?” Lance asks.
“I’m not just missing head shots, I’m missing the whole target board. My hand-eye coordination is gone. My Glock doesn’t fit my hand anymore. I’m just…lost.”
“Hey,” Lance murmurs, hooking his finger under my chin. “You’ll get there. I’ll help you.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then you don’t. And I’ll love you just the same.”
I show him a half-hearted smile. “If I’m not an assassin, what am I?”
“You’re so many things. You’re Fiona. And Cricket. Fierce friend. Lovely daughter. Love of my life. And as soon as you’re feeling up to it…my dessert.” I wink at her. “You don’t need a gun to fit in your hand for us to have a good life together, C. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” I smile. “You know I made these because it’s June twenty-seventh. We were supposed to get married today, on your mom’s birthday.”
“I didn’t want to bring it up. You’ve been kind of busy on the road to recovery.”
I lift a brow, knowing full well that by “busy,” Lance means I’ve been sleeping about six hours a day, and then another solid ten hours at night. I’m basically a panda bear. I need naps to recover from my naps. But Lance has loved it, really.
We spend most of our time in bed, catching up on all his must-see movies. I lost my list at Gabriel’s condo. Lance made me a new one, twice as long. I’m not really a movie person, which is good, because every movie we watch comes with the Lance commentary. He chatters the whole way through, pointing out foreshadowing, and complaining about continuity errors. It’s wildly distracting. Though, it’s fine. I’d rather listen to him than the TV.
“The institution is about three hours from here. We could make it before visiting hours are over.”
“It doesn’t work like that, C. Vesper would have to call ahead. We’d have to make sure my mom is having a good day and took her meds. It’s a lot to navigate.”
“But you had your heart set on June twenty-seventh.” I show him a little pout. “I wanted it to be special.”
“Today is special. Tomorrow will be, too. And when we get married, that day will be special as well. Every single day I have with you is pretty extraordinary, Cricket. The idea of losing you made me see that. I won’t ever take it for granted. Not a single day we’re together.”
I let out a heavy exhale. “Dammit.”
“What?”
“Your vows are going to be so much better than mine. I’m going to have to recruit Eden to help me.”
He picks up the cupcake. For a moment, he stares at the vanilla cake with the dented buttercream frosting. Lance smiles at me, beaming with pride, like I just painted the Sistine Chapel.
Boop. He taps the cupcake against my face, the room-temperature icing coats my lips. Lance is still holding the cupcake out menacingly, smiling at his handywork. Before I can lick my lips clean, he does it for me. The tip of his tongue glides over my top lip, then the bottom. He pushes his tongue into my mouth, savoring the sweet kiss. The sensation makes my toes curl. I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him in closer.
He breaks for air, and the kiss is over far too soon.
“See how this game works?” Lance asks before pulling down the top of my dress, exposing my chest. He dabs each of my nipples with frosting. He engulfs my right nipple, sucking the frosting clean. Then, he attends to the left. “Take your panties off,” he says, twisting his wrist, rotating the cupcake.
“I would…but I’m not wearing any.”
He blows out a sharp breath. “Good girl. That’s what I like.” He runs one hand up the center of my thighs, pushing the hem of my dress up as he proceeds to find my wet and ready-for-him center. Gently, he cups my heels, one by one, and secures them against the counter so I’m spread open for him. “Wider,” he says. Obediently, I let my knees relax to the side.
Lance pushes the cupcake against my clit, and I groan at the foreign sensation. He sinks to his knees and circles my lips so gently it’s infuriating. He’s not eating the frosting, just spreading it around. I hate it, but I love it.
Just a taste, just a tease, and it keeps me absolutely obsessed.
“Beg me, baby.”
“Please.”
“Please what?” he coos, before blowing against my clit. I arch my back as I whimper. I need his tongue more than my next breath.
“Finish your dessert. I want you so bad.”
“How bad?” He playfully dips his tongue inside me for a flash of a moment.
Tired of his games, I weave my hand in his hair, clench my fist, and yank him closer so his mouth is buried in the sweet, vanilla mess he made.
I grind against his tongue, taking what I need. Reaching up, he holds my hips, reading my body. Licking, lapping, sucking, biting—he lights me up in a medley of sensations. The delicious tingle brews between my hip bones. I try to relax and stave off my orgasm. I want to stay in the blissful pleasure as long as I can. But he’s too good. Way too fucking good. The moment I rest one heel against his shoulder and clench my toes, he plunges two fingers inside of me, forcing me to come on his hand.
“That’s it, C. Grind on my fingers, baby. Take what’s yours.”
At this point, I’m not even in control of my hips. My body has abandoned me, now on its own agenda. I push Lance away with the sole of my foot so I have room to hop off the counter and turn around.
I bend over, rest my elbows on the counter, and spread my legs, showing him exactly how I want it.
His belt buckle clanks, and then there’s a quick woosh as he slides his belt out. He runs his hands over my half-exposed ass. “What are our rules, C? Don’t shut me out. I want your eyes.”
I turn around to face him. “If you love me, then you can fuck me however you want. With you, if my eyes are closed, it’s not because I’m escaping from you, it’s because I’m getting lost in you.”
He pushes my dress up so it’s bunched up like a headband hanging around my waist. “How do you want it?” he rasps.
“Hard. Fuck me like you want me to remember this forever.”
He runs the smooth crown of his cock up and down my center until he’s coated in my wetness. He teases me for so long, I’m rolling my hips rhythmically, enjoying the comfort of his tip massaging my clit. I could come like this. Again. I want another, and I’m so close. But right when I’m lulled into the comfort of another clitoral release, Lance plunges into me, hard.
He grunts each time he thrusts. I have to brace myself with my hip bones pressed against the hard ledge to keep myself in place.
“Harder?” he asks.
“Yes, harder… I want all of you. All the time.”
“ Fuck, C. You have me. All of me.” He moans as he fucks me harder. “I wish you could see how fucking perfect this looks. You were made for me. I love you.”
I mewl in pleasure, biting my lip as he nudges against that electric spot. He wraps his hand around my hair, collecting it into a ponytail. Ever so gently, he tugs. If he wasn’t so worried about my head injury, he’d probably yank me backward and wrap his hand around my throat.
He bends over me, his dampening shirt touching my back. “What’d I say, baby?”
“You love me.”
“What are the rules? Say it back.”
“I love you too, Lance.”
He bucks his hips harder, a frenzy taking over him. “Good girl. And what’s the other rule, hm?” he pants out as he slaps into me, his heavy balls smacking my clit, making the sensation that much more tantalizing. Oh, it’s building. Like a tornado between my thighs, my orgasm is inescapable. I want to hold on a bit longer and stay lost in this moment, but Lance guides me right over the edge.
A powerful orgasm rips through me again. The spine-shattering, thigh-melting, breath-stealing kind of orgasm that leaves me speechless and shivering. Immediately, I want to rest. I could fall into a soft bed and let the rest of the world drift away with Lance still nestled inside me. But I hear a warning groan, as he slows his thrusts.
“Baby, I’m close, I need to—”
Quicker than I’ve moved in days, I spin around and drop to my knees. Tongue flat, mouth open wide, I tell him where to unleash. “You’re my angel, you know that? So eager to swallow my cock. You’re so good to me.” He strokes himself faster until he spills onto my tongue and down my throat. I eagerly gulp him down. When I’ve swallowed, I hollow my cheeks around his tip, draining every last remnant of his cum.
“You take that like you love it.”
I look up at Lance through my lashes and give him a sexy smile. “You taste like cake.”
Scooping me up by my elbows, Lance plants soft, tender kisses on both of my cheeks, my lips, and my forehead. Then he moves to my neck, collarbone, and down my chest. Every kiss heals a tiny broken fragment. Only his love can piece me back together like this—bit by bit.
Lance pulls down my dress, smoothing the wrinkles in the skirt. Then he lifts the top, tucking each of my breasts into its designated cup. “This dress you wore for me, right?” he asks.
“Yes.”
He laces his thick fingers between mine and pulls me to the door. “Good. Let’s go home. I want to take it off again.”