CHAPTER 3 KIERAN
KIERAN
This could not be happening. Edward’s best friend, Derek, was the same man who had blown Kieran’s life up when he was eighteen.
How the fuck was that possible? He kicked the stool next to the breakfast bar and it fell over, although not before it caused his toe to hurt like buggery.
He’d needed to hit something, but he regretted that now.
How could Edward be friends with a guy like that?
When Milo started seeing a politician, Kieran had a lot to say about it, but as he’d gotten to know Edward, he’d warmed to the guy.
They might disagree on a lot of things, but he was always respectful and listened to Kieran’s point of view.
Now he doubted the man’s judgement if he associated with Derek Stephenson.
Before he could hit anything else, the flat door opened. Thankfully, it was only Hassan. He thought for a second that Milo might bring Derek here, but then, he didn’t have a key as he wasn’t their flatmate anymore. Before he could say anything, Hassan rushed over to him and pulled him into a hug.
“How are you feeling?” asked Hassan.
“How do you think?”
Hassan broke the hug but still kept hold of Kieran as he looked him over carefully. Kieran rolled his eyes.
“I’m fine, although my toe hurts like a bitch from kicking that stool.”
“Let me look at it.”
“Stand down, doc. It’s just my pride that’s hurt.”
Hassan chuckled. “So, that was the infamous Derek?”
“Nothing infamous about him. The guy’s a cunt. No explanation needed.”
“I thought he might be here.”
“Why would he be here?”
“He ran after you.”
Kieran hadn’t noticed that, but then, he’d been on a mission to get away from Derek as quickly as possible. It had been a mission, pushing against the crowds, but as soon as he was clear, he was on a Tube and heading home. He was probably the only gay fleeing central London at that moment.
“I know this might be an inappropriate thing to say, but he’s hotter than you said he was, and I don’t even go for older guys.”
Kieran snorted. He hadn’t looked for long because he’d legged it, but it was clear the last ten years had been good to Derek.
He was still hot as fuck, which was a major league piss-take.
His beard was longer, and he had tattoos on his arms now, which looked like excellent work, although not as good as Kieran would have done.
Why the fuck was he thinking like that? The man didn’t deserve a second look.
“What the fuck am I going to do? Edward is going to tell him how to find me.”
“Milo won’t let him do that, and we know Edward does as Milo tells him.”
Kieran chuckled. “That’s true. Fuck. Do you think I should just speak to him? Let him know I think he’s a cunt, and I hope he and my mother both die young?”
“Not that you’re being overdramatic or anything. Let’s get a drink and talk it through.”
“I think I need to be by myself.”
“Not happening, so beer, wine . . . or I’m putting the kettle on.”
“Wine, of course. Why did you even offer me beer?”
“Forgive me. I thought you were having a butch moment after you successfully fought a kitchen stool.”
“Get fucked!”
Hassan laughed before going to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of wine and grabbing two glasses. He poured generous measures, but before Kieran could grab his, Hassan carried them both into the living room and sat on the sofa, implying Kieran had to join him.
He preferred the old flat to this one as it was all open plan.
In here, they had a kitchen diner, but not big enough for more than the three of them to eat in, and a separate living room, which had two three-seater sofas, but not enough room for a dining table.
It made entertaining difficult, not that he did that often.
Liam and Milo had been the better cooks, so now they mostly had those prepped meals delivered each week.
It cut down the number of takeaways significantly.
“I’m sure you could get his contact details off Milo if you wanted to speak to him,” said Hassan.
Kieran took a gulp of his wine. It was good stuff. “What good would that do?”
“It might give you some closure.”
“I don’t need any closure. That was done when he betrayed my trust.”
“I know, but wouldn’t you like to know why he did it?”
“What difference would it make? It won’t undo the last ten years, will it?”
“No, but it might help you move forward.”
“What are you on about? I never talk about him. It’s only because he turned up today. When did I last say anything about him?” Kieran snapped.
He took another gulp of wine. It really was delicious. The benefit of living with two doctors who didn’t drink cheap shit. Kieran wasn’t sure what Hassan was getting at. Before today, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d even thought about Derek.
“It’s not that you talk about him. It’s how you allow him to still have an impact.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Kieran snapped, jerking his arm and sloshing some of his wine. He took another swig.
“When did you last have a boyfriend?”
“Not this shit again. You’re hardly able to preach to me. If I want relationship advice, I’ll speak to Milo or Liam. Thanks.”
“Look, I’m not trying to upset you, but I know you don’t trust men because of what Derek did. Maybe if you understood his reasons, you might be more open to a relationship.”
Kieran stood up. “He outed me to my mother, and she booted me out and has never spoken to me since. I have a sister I haven’t spoken to in ten years. He did that. And you think he’s got a good enough reason that I’ll forgive him or something?”
“I’m not saying you should forgive him, Kieran.”
“I thought you’d be on my side,” he said, his voice cracking.
Hassan stood up. “I’m always on your side.”
He reached out for Kieran, who pulled his arm away.
He downed the rest of the wine, left the glass on the table, and walked out, going to his bedroom door.
It didn’t have a lock, but he hoped Hassan would respect his privacy.
He knew Kieran better than anyone, and would know that he needed to be by himself right now.
Derek and his mother had done so much damage to him, and ten years later they were still causing him pain.
The flat was empty when he woke up. It was three o’clock in the afternoon, so he’d slept for almost four hours.
He must have needed it. A message on his phone from Hassan said he’d gone to rejoin the others, but that Kieran needed to call when he was awake.
He wouldn’t be doing that. He loved his best friend, who was more like a brother, but he didn’t want to talk about Derek anymore.
Hassan didn’t believe in letting things fester, as it wasn’t healthy, and Kieran wondered why he’d chosen to work as an A&E doctor rather than a psychiatrist, which would be less stressful and pay more.
He opened the fridge, which was full of food, as their weekly shop had arrived the day before.
There was so much choice that Kieran didn’t want any of it, so he ordered from a food app on his phone.
He fancied a greasy burger and couldn’t be bothered to make one.
Cooking burgers always made the flat stink for days, as it was one of those smells that lingered, and it never tasted the same as something that was full of preservatives and swimming in grease – delicious!
Once he’d ordered, he turned the shower on.
He felt funky from sleeping in his clothes.
What was he going to do with the rest of the day and night?
The plan had been for him to be out until the early hours of the morning and hopefully get some action.
It was Pride night and you couldn’t call yourself a real gay if you didn’t have a dick in one of your orifices before midnight.
It was always trickier to pull, though, as people were out with their friend groups, or it was one of the few nights of the year when guys were faithful to their boyfriends.
Not that he was stereotyping, but he’d heard enough stories from friends over the years to know it was the reality.
After getting clean, he pulled on some fresh sweats and a T-shirt.
The food was only five minutes away, so he flopped down on the sofa and opened one of the hookup apps.
There wouldn’t be many people online today, as everyone would be out at Pride, but you never knew.
There could be some other sad fuckers sitting at home like him, and not everyone enjoyed the crowds.
They could be overwhelming. A quick scan told him there was nothing around other than a few faceless torsos.
He opened social media, and when scrolling, saw a picture of Milo and Edward kissing at the march.
Kieran couldn’t help but smile. Not just for his friend’s happiness, but because Edward being so high profile would do a lot for visibility.
Kieran would never openly admit that he liked the guy, although he was doubting his taste in friends.
How the hell were he and Derek acquainted?
He knew Derek was a lawyer, and Edward had been one before he was a politician, so that could be how they knew each other. But his best friend?