Chapter 10 #2
Back home with these injuries, I’d be laid up in a hospital bed, attached to IVs and monitors.
With a row of broken ribs, every breath would be torture.
And forget about walking on legs that were bruised down to the bone.
I’d have to go through months of physical therapy just to get back to some version of normal.
But here in the Wilds, with just a few herbs and some rest, I was already up and walking…well, when Tauren wasn’t carrying me, that was. My body was still sore, but I wasn’t in agony. All in all, I was okay.
And as wonderful as that was, it didn’t seem right.
None of this did. A person like me didn’t belong in the Wilds.
“I want to go home.”
My words hung in the dead air between us. At first, Tauren didn’t say anything. He didn’t even look at me. The only sign that he’d heard me was the tightness along his jaw that seemed to be intensifying with every bite.
When he did finally speak, his voice was flat and hard.
“You are home.”
No. I refused to accept that. There was no way anyone could actually believe that this was where I belonged.
“My real home,” I insisted.
The one with electricity and running water—that’s where I wanted to be. With carpeted floors and online shopping. Art galleries and movie theaters. Air conditioners and late-night diners.
That was who I was.
Who I really was.
And no amount of magic healing herbs or disappearing bruises could change that.
And neither could Tauren’s cold, flinty stare. “We’ve already talked about this. You’re not safe in the kirre world.”
“So your plan is to hold me prisoner in the Wilds instead? That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.”
My sudden show of courage surprised me. Just a few hours ago, I’d been cowering in a corner, trying to put as much distance as possible between us, but now here I was, deliberately taunting the tiger. Maybe it was one of those ferus traits I was mysteriously taking on.
“You’re not a prisoner,” he snapped.
“Really?” Feeling bold, I met his stare as I tossed a roasted potato wedge into my mouth. “So I can go wherever I want?”
Tauren hesitated—a long second of silence that ended up speaking volumes. “That wouldn’t be a good idea right now.”
I gave a bitter laugh. “That’s what I thought.”
“Despite what you think, I’m not interested in controlling you, Hannah,” he tried to explain. “But there are some in the pack who won’t be pleased once they realize you’re finally here.”
Oh, really? I wasn’t sure I believed the first part—not fully anyway—but the second bit definitely caught my attention.
“Your father, you mean.”
Tauren’s brows snapped together. “How do you know that?”
For a second, I considered keeping that information to myself. After all, if I really was a captive, then I didn’t owe my jailor a damn thing.
But so far, the alpha hadn’t mistreated me. He’d tended my wounds, given me a warm bed to sleep in, and a hot meal to eat. And since I wanted that treatment to continue, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to answer his questions.
“I overheard you talking to Calindra about it last night when I was drifting in and out of consciousness.”
Tauren nodded and turned his attention back to the food. “You don’t have to worry about my father,” he assured me. “I won’t let him touch you.”
Funny. I hadn’t been concerned until Tauren told me not to be.
“I take it he’s not happy that you’ve been dreaming about a kirre girl,” I said, distractedly picking at the plate.
“My father has never been happy about anything,” he confessed. “Many Lykaon are known for their ruthless natures, but my father has always taken special pride in his.”
“Lykaon?” That sounded important. “What is that?”
“It’s just a fancy word for pack leader.”
Pack leader sounded fancy enough on its own. “Well, if your dad’s important, that must make you important too.”
“Not anymore.” He flashed a wry smile. “Back when I was a child, my father used to talk about passing the mantle of leadership on to me, but those days are long gone. Now he refuses to recognize me as his son and is training my cousin, Cenric, to be his heir.”
I couldn’t understand Tauren’s composure. He didn’t sound angry, only disappointed, and the resignation in his voice cooled my own temper.
“Your dad disinherited you?”
“He did a lot more than that,” Tauren said. “He cast me out of our village and forbade me from making my home anywhere but on the edge of the pack’s territory. Didn’t you wonder why my cabin wasn’t near any other ferus?”
No, actually, I hadn’t. I’d just assumed this was how all his kind lived.
Guilt stabbed at my gut. I’d been so focused on my own troubles that I hadn’t stopped to ask how all of this had affected his life.
“I don’t get it.” I shook my head. “Why does he care? Calindra made it sound like the Fates bringing us together was a good thing.”
“Not everyone agrees with her. Especially not my father,” he said. “He says my dreams weren’t sent from the Fates. He refuses to believe they would do anything to tear down the old established ways.”
Well, that sounded familiar.
“There are a lot of people clinging to power on my side of the Wall who say the same kinds of things,” I said. “That’s one similarity our worlds share.”
“It doesn’t matter what others think,” he said between bites. “We didn’t choose our destinies. They were chosen for us.”
“Your dad sounds like a real jerk for not realizing that.”
Without turning his head, Tauren shot me a questioning look out of the corner of his eye. “Jerk?”
“A shithead,” I clarified. “A real asshole.”
A flash of laughter lit up his dark eyes. “ You kirre have a way with words.”
“Well, I know a thing or two about dickhead fathers,” I admitted. “Mine was a real son of a bitch who ran off to start a new family with a younger woman when my mom got her first gray hairs.”
Lines of confusion dug into the alpha’s brow. “Your father abandoned you?”
“Don’t look so shocked. It’s a common enough story where I’m from.”
Tauren leaned back in his chair. “And this is the world you want to run back to?”
“It’s the one that I know.” I shrugged. “And after hearing about your dad, this one doesn’t sound much better.”
“He wasn’t always so cold toward me,” Tauren admitted.
“You have to understand every ferus father wants his son to be one of the few blessed by the Fates. So the night of my first dream, he was beyond pleased. It wasn’t until after I admitted that my chosen mate wasn’t from the Wilds that he flew into a rage and demanded I renounce you. ”
Wait…that had been an option this whole time?
“Why didn’t you?” I asked. “Tauren, you could be a king.”
“Lykaon,” he corrected me.
“Whatever.” The specific title didn’t matter. “The point was this is your birthright, and it isn’t fair for it to be snatched away from you just because of some stupid dream.”
“Don’t call them stupid,” he snapped, his tone deathly serious. “My dreams of you are sacred. Some days, they were the only thing keeping me alive. They are heaven itself.”
“And mine are hell on earth,” I countered. “Do you have any idea what it’s like feeling ten claws ripping the skin away from your spine every night? Or what it tastes like to choke on your own blood?”
His expression tightened, and it took me a moment to realize that he was upset at my suffering, not my description of it.
“None of that is going to happen, Hannah,” he vowed. “There isn’t a creature alive who would dare touch you while I’m by your side. I swear it.”
As if he could make that kind of promise.
“I don’t know,” I said. “It sounds like your father might want to give it a shot.”
“I doubt it.” He pulled the last of the meat off the breast of the bird and handed it to me before licking his fingers clean. “He knows the day he tries is the day I make my mother a widow.”
Damn! That was hardcore.
But I hated to admit how much I enjoyed the heated feeling that surged through my veins at hearing someone sound so protective of me. I’d never heard anything like that before. Not from anyone.
But as tempting as the feeling was, I couldn’t let it sway my judgement. Sure, Tauren’s promises of safety might be seductive as hell, but they were just words, and those had never saved anyone from a ferus attack.
“Still, wouldn’t it be better if we could avoid conflict altogether?” I offered. “If I went home, you could get your life back.”
“You are my life,” he answered without pause. “You are my mate. The other half of my soul. The reason my heart beats, and my body continues to draw breath. You are everything I’ve been waiting for.”
My mouth fell open, all breath caught in my lungs. What in the world could I say to that?
And amazingly, the man looked like he meant every word. Trapped in the depths of his shadowy eyes, it was impossible not to see his sincerity.
And why wouldn’t he be? It wasn’t like a man as strong and powerful as Tauren needed to lie to get his way. Deceit and manipulation were cunning tools for those of us who couldn’t muscle our way to victory.
A few more silent seconds passed before Tauren finally broke his stare and glanced down at the now-empty plate.
“Is your belly full?”
“Uh…” I blinked a couple of times, jostling my head a little, trying to clear it. “Yeah, totally.”
“Good.” He nodded. “Maybe now you’ll be able to rest.”
He pushed back from the table and swooped me up into his arms again, even though the bed was only a few feet away.
My first impulse was to wrap my arms around his neck for stability, but as I reached for him, I caught the light glistening off my oil-coated fingers.
“Wait,” I said. “I’m a mess. Do you have a napkin or a towel or something?”
I wasn’t used to eating with my hands, and the last thing I wanted to do was thank Tauren for the meal by ruining his bed with grease stains.
“Oh, for Fates’ sake,” Tauren grumbled before grabbing my hand and bringing it to his lips. “How many of these ridiculous manners do you kirre have?”
I gasped as he opened his mouth and popped my pinkie inside.
My eyes went wide as the searing wet heat of his tongue washed over my fingertip before being dragged through the lush curves of his lips.
Though the act was small, the sensation was massive, creating a ripple of white hot pleasure that spread through every part of me.
The feeling only grew as he quickly did the same with my next finger…and the next…and the next. By the time he came to my thumb, I was openly panting.
And that’s when Tauren realized the sensuality of the act.
With my thumb deep in his mouth, his eyes locked with mine. His arms tightened around me, his whole body going hard, radiating erotic energy.
Oh, God.
I could barely think as he lowered me down on the mattress, but he didn’t let go. Still standing, his upper body loomed over mine. All he had to do was nudge one of his knees between mine, push my thighs apart, and I’d be completely at his mercy.
And he knew it too.
I could see the desire burning like a wildfire in his eyes as his tongue washed over the sensitive pad of my thumb again and again…and again. Until he finally released it with a pop.
With aching slowness, his dark gaze slid from my eyes to my lips, and, despite my better judgement, I couldn’t stop myself from licking them in anticipation. Heaven help me, I even found myself arching my back up toward him as he lowered his face toward mine.
But the instant my spine bent too far, a knife-like pain stabbed into my side. A cry escaped my lips, and I winced, dropping back down flat on the bed.
Oh, yeah—my broken ribs.
How in the world could I have forgotten about those? Though apparently, I wasn’t the only one. Judging by the concerned expression on Tauren’s face, he had too.
He pulled back, straightening up in a snap.
“Not yet,” he said, his voice so low and restrained, I could barely make out the words. “Soon.”
“Tauren.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what I was asking for by calling his name when he turned his back and started toward the door. It certainly couldn’t have been a plea for him to stay with me just a little longer. That would be madness.
He was my captor, after all. The ferus who was holding me against my will.
That was the part I needed to remember.
Not the bit where I enjoyed sharing a meal with him, or where his touch made my body tremble. Or how the intimate feel of his tongue sliding against my skin made me lose my goddamn mind.
None of that mattered, I told myself.
Not even a little.
“Rest,” Tauren said, his back still to me as his fingers gripped the frame around the door. “I’ll be close.”
Even from across the room, I could make out the white crowns on his knuckles, as if he was having to use every ounce of his strength to keep himself from turning around and rushing back to me.
I didn’t have to imagine what would happen if he gave in to that urge.
He’d already described the scene to me earlier…in vivid detail.
Even so, I still had to physically bite my lower lip to keep myself from calling him out to him one more time as he walked out into the Wilds.