Chapter 20
Chapter
Twenty
The following week went by slowly.
The hours didn’t drag or creep. I never found myself bored or tapping my fingers or wishing the day would move faster. Instead, time passed with a pleasant kind of slowness.
There was an enjoyable deliberateness to Tauren’s days.
Mornings were for preparing for the day ahead, for drawing water and stoking fires. Wood piles were replenished. Laundry was scrubbed and hung out to dry.
When the sun was a little higher, he would go off to hunt, returning an hour or so later with a deer slung over his shoulders or a line of fish or a handful of rabbits, and we’d talk as he taught me how to dress and prepare them.
He showed me which plants in the forest were good for eating—blackberries, hazelnuts, greens, and mushrooms—and how to harvest them.
Later in the day, other alphas would arrive to talk with him either about what was happening in the village or plans to pressure Drogan for a change in pack laws.
But evenings and nights were always just for us.
With the day’s chores and obligations taken care of, we would eat and talk by the fire before we inevitably fell into each other’s arms and wound up back in bed, where we’d roll around until we collapsed in sweaty exhaustion.
It was magnificent. Suddenly, my life was unrecognizable, filled with purpose and deep, fulfilling emotion. I’d never experienced anything like it. I didn’t even know it was possible.
Things weren’t perfect, of course. Nothing ever is.
The dream hadn’t gone anywhere. And even though I could now try something new each night to fight back against death, I still hadn’t found a way to win. The end remained the same, with me broken and bloody, fading away as I screamed Tauren’s name.
It didn’t matter what I did—run like hell or stand and fight—or what weapons I used—hands or feet, branches or rocks—nothing seemed to work. The alpha I was fighting was just too strong.
Almost invincible.
I started to believe there was no way I could win.
That no matter what I did, I was destined to die here.
And if that was true, maybe it was better to stop fighting and surrender to my fate. To enjoy what little time I had left with Tauren, and spend my energy deciding whether to stay in the Wilds with him and die an early death, or to return to the kirre world and be utterly miserable for decades.
That was the choice. There was no pretending otherwise.
But either way, the clock was ticking, and I was going to have to make up my mind soon.
If only I could figure out a way to beat the alpha in my dreams. But I was running out of ideas.
The truth was I’d never been much of a fighter—at least, not a physical one. Sure, in a battle of wills, you could match me up against anyone, but in hand-to-hand combat? I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, especially not against something as physically overpowering as a ferus.
No kirre would.
But…maybe another ferus would.
The idea popped into my head as Tauren led me back into the village to meet with Akela and the other women.
Of course, I didn’t dare ask Tauren.
There was no way I could bring up the subject without him, Kyre, Cenric, or any other alpha becoming suspicious. If there was one thing I’d learned during my time in the Wilds, it was that every alpha took his role as protector very seriously.
But my new girlfriends were another story.
They’d lived their whole lives around these giant, muscular giants. They had to know at least a couple of secrets about how to bring one of them down.
Calindra especially.
As a healer, she’d know all about the weak spots in their anatomy. Where to hit them and with what. How much force I would need to use. How many hits would be enough to make sure my attacker didn’t get back up again.
Even though she’d seemed willing to help me out before, there was always the chance that, after hearing my questions, she’d go straight to Tauren. So, it would probably be a good idea to work my inquiries into he conversation somehow. Keep them vague. Hide them inside jokes. Retain deniability.
The plan finished coming together in my head as we neared Amelia’s house. I was surprised to find her waiting out front for us with her mate.
“Hannah!” she cried out as soon as she spotted me, loud enough for all her neighbors to hear.
I won’t lie, I was shocked to see her greet me so openly in a hostile environment. I figured I’d have to sneak in the side door. But Akela didn’t seem to be ashamed to be seen welcoming a kirre, or omega, or whatever the hell I was now into her house.
“I’m so glad you could make it,” she said. “Deryn and Calindra are already inside, fixing drinks. Zehra should be here soon. But before we go in, let me introduce you to my mate, Hektor.”
I smiled at the alpha and hoped the expression didn’t look too strained. Despite living in the Wilds for over a week now, I still wasn’t used to being around other alphas. Every new one I met managed to intimidate the hell out of me.
I couldn’t help it.
I found myself studying their features—their hands, their shoulders, their jawline, searching for anything that I might remember from my dream.
So far, I’d come up snake eyes. It wasn’t surprising, seeing how my nightmare took place in the dead of night under the thick canopy of the forest.
It didn’t matter how friendly the alpha seemed or how much Tauren was willing to vouch for him. Every time I met someone new, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d just been introduced to my murderer.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I said to Akela’s mate.
Hektor looked to be only a few years older than Tauren—just on the other side of thirty if I had to guess. But even though he was far from an elder in the pack, I could tell at a glance his temper didn’t run as hot as some of the younger alphas I’d met.
Maybe mating served as a tempering force to an alpha’s primal wildness. But then again, maybe not. After all, Tauren’s father was mated, and he was the very definition of a brutal bastard.
So, despite the alpha’s amicable appearance, I stuck close to Tauren’s side.
“Hannah,” Hektor acknowledged me with a slow nod. “I’m impressed. You’re not as skittish as most kirre. Even the ones I’ve been dealing with for years won’t come within ten yards of me.”
“Wait! You know other kirre? How?”
“That Wall of yours isn’t as impenetrable as your leaders like to think. Packs along it have been trading with your people over it since the moment it went up.”
“Really?”
“Sure.” Hektor shrugged. “I make a couple of trips myself each month for the pack.”
I shouldn’t have been surprised by the idea of a ferus black market. If there was one vice all people shared, it was a secret craving for the forbidden.
“Isn’t that dangerous?” I asked, thinking about all the military installations along the wall. Sure, Tauren might have taken out Franklin without breaking a sweat, but there was a big difference between one soldier and the whole army.
Still, Hektor didn’t seem all that concerned. Amusement pulled at his lips as he shook his head.
“Not for me,” he said. Then he turned to Tauren. “I was thinking we could talk to some of my neighbors while the women…” Another shrug. “…do whatever the hell they’ve got planned. After the last bonfire, more and more mated alphas are interested in what you have to say.”
Tauren nodded in agreement. “Sure—but we need to stay close. Hannah’s not safe in the village alone.”
“Of course,” Hektor agreed. “We won’t lose sight of the house.”
And with that, Tauren pulled me close, kissed me hard, and said goodbye, leaving me in Akela’s care.
My new ferus friend gave a soft laugh as our alphas strode away. “I never thought I’d see an alpha wrapped around a kirre’s finger.”
I wish.
Tauren wasn’t wrapped around my finger—not even close. But I was warming to the idea of being wrapped around his.
“So, this knot thing happens every time?”
The four ferus women filling Akela’s kitchen erupted into raucous laughter for what felt like the hundredth time in the last hour.
“Yes!”
“Seriously? Every time?”
“Yes!”
“How do you deal with that?”
“Sweet Fates above,” Akela exclaimed, pushing up from her seat around the beautifully crafted round table in the center of the open space and headed toward the large stone hearth built into the wall. “Your mate’s knot isn’t something you deal with. It’s something you enjoy.”
“Sure,” I nodded. “But how long does it last? On average?”
The women continued to giggle as they shot knowing looks back and forth, until all their gazes settled on Calindra. She was the healer after all. The one who had the most knowledge of the alpha body. If anyone should be the spokesperson on ferus physiology, it was her.
“Well, I don’t think anyone has ever timed it,” she said. “It lasts as long as it lasts, I suppose. Surely by now you have some idea of your mate’s stamina.”
There were a few more titters as I hemmed and hawed, blushing all the way down to the bone.
“The thing is, I haven’t been able to stay awake long enough after to tell when it…” I struggled to find the right word. “…deflates.”
This time, they all laughed so hard I thought the roof might fly off.
And strangely, I didn’t mind.
There was nothing cruel about their amusement. No mockery. No contempt. Throughout the day, we’d joked about all kinds of things, but the humor had always stayed good-natured.
If anything, I’d been the judgmental one.
Even though I’d done my best to tamp down my preconceptions of ferus women, it was still hard to reconcile their loud, open laughter with the lithe elegance of their forms. After meeting Nelissa, it was clear that not all ferus women were this way, but it was nice to know that at least some of us were alike.