Chapter Twenty-three
A s we fell through the darkness, I held Axelle against me, waiting to see where the reaper was sending us. To my surprise, we were vomited out onto the living room floor of the house Rhodes had rented for our stay here.
How did the reaper know where we lived? And how long had he been stalking her like some kind of creeper reaper?
“Ugh!” Axelle was on her hands and knees on the floor beside me, her body trembling as she dry heaved and tried not to be sick. “It’s never like this when I teleport.”
“I bet it has something to do with the fact normal reapers can’t teleport someone without physically going with them, and your boy-toy just did the impossible. It’s a miracle we aren’t lost and tumbling in the darkness for the rest of eternity.” I rubbed gentle circles on her back, wanting to soothe her, but also wanting to demand answers about everything she’d been hiding.
Evander appeared on her other side. “What is going on? Where did you two come from? What do you mean when you teleport ?”
“Give me a minute. The room won’t stop spinning,” Axelle groaned.
“Where is Rhodes?” I asked Evander. “We need to have a family meeting. Now.”
Evander’s glasses kept slipping forward as he bent over Axelle, so he pulled them off and tossed them on the side table. “Chatter came through the collector network that something huge was going down at the UG and it was likely there would be mass casualties. I was supposed to make sure Axelle was safe and then find you so we could join him there.”
“I have to go back,” Axelle choked on a sob, and although I knew she was likely the catalyst for changing the balance of the entire paranormal world, my heart ached to see her in distress.
“Hey, it will be okay,” I assured her, reaching out to pull her onto my lap, only to have her scoot away from me, her red-rimmed eyes flashing with hurt.
“You cannot be serious right now,” I snarled, shoving to my feet.
“Calm down. There’s no reason to get angry.” Evander held out a hand in a gesture that reminded me of the one humans used when trapped with a wild animal that was about to attack.
“No reason to get angry?” My laugh was harsh and bitter. “Dearest brother, let me count the reasons I have to be furious.”
Inwardly, I hated myself for the flash of hurt that crossed Evander’s face, and I watched as he immediately retreated into his protective shell. But then he looked down at Axelle and a change came over him.
Evander stood tall, squaring his shoulders as he stepped in front of Axelle. “Loose the attitude or walk away until you can find a new one.”
I was lost for words as I took in his blazing eyes and newfound confidence. Rhodes and I had waited years to watch him bloom into the beautiful flower we knew he could be. But why did Evander have to pick today of all days?
“I think I’m entitled to throw a bit of a tantrum after everything she’s put me through,” I vented, with more whine than rage. “I also think I deserve a drink.”
Evander crossed his arms. “Since you’re pitching a fit like a toddler, you obviously aren’t old enough to drink. Sit down so we can talk like adults.”
My jaw went slack. “Who are you?”
He didn’t answer and simply waited for me to take a seat.
Which I did… but only because my muscles ached and I was exhausted thanks to the massive amounts of adrenaline that had pumped through my veins for the past two hours.
“Good.” Evander tilted his head in approval, as though I were a naughty student who’d been put in time out.
I really couldn’t wait to see him pull this bossy crap on Rhodes.
“Let me help you, Axe.” Evander bent, helped her to her feet, then guided her to the sofa across from me.
“I can’t stay! There were too many of them! They’ll kill him!” She tried to pull away, but Evander firmly held onto her.
That wasn’t going to work if she decided to teleport herself like a freaking reaper.
“Who is going to be killed? I need you to tell me what’s going on so I can help.” Evander was impressively calm.
Axelle sat, her gaze darting around the room and her fingers twisting in her lap.
Squeak!
A gray ball of fur tumbled from Evander’s pocket and scurried into Axelle’s lap.
“Wasabi?” She stroked his head with a trembling finger. “How’d you get here?”
As expected, the gray rat didn’t respond, which I appreciated, since with the way things were going, I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had. At least some things were still as they seemed.
“I went looking for you at the library and found Wasabi sleeping in your blankets. Rhodes and Lochlan had talked about your rat friend, and I didn’t want him to be alone. He’s been hanging out here with me while I tried to figure out where you two had gone,” Evander explained.
As Axelle continued to pet the rodent, the tremors in her hands eased.
I sighed. Not only had our circle grown to include a reaper, we’d added a rat, too. And from where I was sitting, she seemed to prefer the rat to me.
What had I done to make her go from desiring my touch, to shying away from me? I knew I could be a dick, but I’d gone over and over my actions and words and couldn’t figure it out.
Unless she had been uncomfortable with the intimacy we shared, but hadn’t been brave enough to say so. She’d seemed into it, but maybe she regretted it?
But it seemed like more than embarrassment or shyness. No, she was angry at me. Besides, she’d proven she wasn’t shy with her reaper make-out session in front of the entire club.
“Who are you worried about?” Evander repeated his question now that she had calmed down enough to speak.
“Saul.” Axelle dropped her chin to her chest and her lips quivered.
“Saul? The reaper, Saul?” Evander shot me a quick look that I returned with a smirk. He had no idea what was coming.
Axelle whispered a watery, “Yes.”
“You were supposed to run if you saw him!” Evander’s voice rose slightly.
I laughed. “Oh, she did. She ran straight onto his cock.”
“Lochlan! Don’t be crude,” Evander hissed.
“Don’t get your boxers in a bunch, bro. It’s cool. They’re allowed to have sex since they’re married.” I was being harsh, but I was too hurt to care.
“Married?” Evander grasped Axe’s chin, tilting her head back so he could see her face. “Is that true?”
“Yes. I felt the bond with him, just like with you guys. He’s my soulmate.” Her eyes shimmered with tears. “I followed my heart, but things got out of hand and…”
“Had you met him before we told you about him?” Evander asked.
She nodded. “Twice. The first time, we didn’t speak, but I saw him watching me in the library. I hadn’t known he was a reaper. Then I accidentally ended up in his house when I tried to hide from you guys.”
“Did he hurt you or try to make you do anything you weren’t comfortable with?” Evander’s tone echoed the same fear I was feeling.
She’d been alone. In his home. What kind of torture could he have inflicted on her?
Axelle’s large doe-like eyes went soft, the same way she used to look at me. “No. He was sweet.”
I snorted. “No one has ever used that word for Saul.”
Fury burned in her gaze as she turned her wrath on me. “You saw the way he treated me tonight! When I was in his house, he healed my injuries, fed me his energy, and held me while I slept.”
My stomach dropped to the floor, and I pushed to my feet. “You were hurt? Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Because you guys were hurt worse. And it doesn’t matter, you couldn’t have done anything except worry. I didn’t tell him either. He figured it out.” She angrily swiped at the stray tears on her cheeks.
I kneeled in front of her, but not wanting to be rejected again or make her feel uncomfortable, I didn’t touch her. “And then you gave us too much of your energy?”
“I was fine. Tired, but my energy would have bounced back. It always does. Saul is just overly protective.” A tiny smile flitted across her face for a moment. “It felt great to sleep, though. I’ve missed that.”
He should have sent her into the beyond the moment he saw her wandering around—it was what any other reaper would have done. But the dark reaper had taken better care of her than we had. Maybe we had misjudged him.
“I want to be honest, things happened that night in his house. Not sex, but other things. I really wanted to tell you guys, and I told Rhodes. But when I tried to tell him Saul’s name, he didn’t want to hear it because we were in the middle of… well, you know.” The table lamp hummed and flickered.
How could she exude sexual energy like a succubus, wrap four men around her pinky, have every guy in that club sporting a hard-on, and yet get bashful talking about sex?
“Are you sure Saul hasn’t tricked you into letting him claim you?” I pressed.
My gut knew the answer. I’d watched every move he made in the club, and there was no way he could fake the way he felt about her. The man was in love and wanted the world to know it. It was unnerving to watch him switch between death personified as he toyed with the reapers, to a besotted, lovesick puppy with her. He’d called Axelle his pet, but from what I’d seen, he was the one who was ready to sit, stay, and roll over at her command.
Maybe I’d buy him a collar and leash… once I was sure he wouldn’t risk upsetting Axelle by murdering me.
“Saul would never! Hexes! After he performed his striptease dance for me, I would’ve done anything he wanted. But he focused on taking care of my needs and then held me while I slept.”
I was still struggling to process the idea of Death dirty dancing, when Axelle added, “So, yes! He’s made mistakes, but at least he owned up to them and apologized!”
That last bit felt directed at me, but I couldn’t figure out what she meant.
“Enough of this. I want you to be straight with me. No more dodging questions and avoiding me!” I growled in frustration.
Axelle clenched her jaw and stared over my shoulder at the wall behind me. This ended now.
“Don’t ice me out,” I pleaded. Cupping her face between my palms, I gently forced her to look at me. “If you won’t talk, then you can listen to what I have to say. I saw the look in your eye when you casually asked about the UnderGrave, and I knew you were hiding something. So when we got back from our mission, and you weren’t in bed with Rhodes, I tracked you down.
“When I got there, you were nowhere to be found. The club was buzzing with excitement over something, so I grabbed a beer and sat down to eavesdrop. It seemed a ghost chick no one knew had shown up dressed to kill, and every man in the bar had planned to shoot their shot with her.”
I paused, swallowing back the possessive jealousy that lodged itself in my throat. “But the dark reaper appeared out of nowhere, wrecked a collector who’d hit on the ghost, and then whisked her to the private area of the club out of everyone’s reach.”
The corner of Axelle’s mouth turned down in a small frown, but she remained silent.
“I’ll be honest, at that point, I was terrified they were talking about you, even though it was hard to imagine my adorable sweatpants-loving boo in the risqué, red mini-dress and heels they couldn’t stop talking about. But then the orc behind me started talking about how the ghost chick had sat on Saul’s lap, enjoying his touch, and returning his kiss with enthusiasm. I decided it couldn’t be you.
“So imagine my surprise when the reapers showed up demanding to see Saul, and he strolled out of the bathroom with you at his side.” I brushed my thumb against Axelle’s bottom lip. “I had my blades out, and I was prepared to kill him or die trying. He’d die for daring to use your body for his pleasure. And then I saw your eyes. Those gorgeous, sleepy, bedroom eyes I saw when I licked you until you came. You looked happy, content, and well-loved.”
I stopped, needing a moment to steady my breathing, and Axelle whispered, “Lochlan?—”
“No, let me finish.” I had to get this out now. “I saw the fear in your eyes when you spotted me, and I caught the flash of disgust. It hurt because I still don’t know why you went from sharing yourself with me to hating me. I knew you were afraid I would attack and hurt Saul. Then you threw yourself at him, rubbing it in my face that another man got to touch you.”
“That wasn’t why!” Axelle protested, but I pressed a finger against her lips.
“Please let me finish. You may never accept me as your partner, but I need you to know how I feel. I wanted to leave, to not see another man have what I wanted most, but I couldn’t. Not while you were in danger. Saul is impressive, but he was outnumbered, and he’d nearly killed his only ally for touching you.
“So I began making my way closer. I knew if a battle broke out between the reapers, I wasn’t going to make it out unscathed. But I wasn’t leaving until you did.”
Her eyes shone with tears, and I blinked hard to stave off my own. “When that old-as-dirt reaper laid into Saul for dirtying his species name by marking you, I couldn’t stay quiet while anyone spoke about you like that. Axelle, I risked my life and sacrificed my reputation to contradict the reaper and defend your honor… and the honor of the reaper you’d hidden from us but clearly loved. I felt the way your body stiffened when I kissed you in front of them. But you were desperate enough to protect your precious reaper that you were willing to act out your part and kiss me back.”
My voice broke, but I pushed to finish. “It nearly broke me to hold the woman I love more than life itself and know she may never feel that way about me.” My hands dropped from where I held her face to land limp at my sides. “I will treasure that bittersweet kiss for the rest of my time on this earth, but I never wanted to make you uncomfortable, boo. From now on, I will no longer try to touch you or get in your personal space.”
“Why did you do it?” Tears slid down her cheeks. “Why did you stay when it hurt you so much?”
That was easy to answer. “Because I love you and your happiness matters more than mine! I’ll always be there to protect you and your circle, even if I’m not one of your claimed.”
“If you love me so much, why would you whisper all those promises and be intimate with me, and then take another woman on a date less than a day later?” Axelle dropped her head into her hands and her shoulders shook with her sobs.
“What?!” I rocked back on my heels as though she’d struck me.
I had forgotten other women even existed the moment I’d laid eyes on my beautiful little ghost. Where had she gotten the idea I was seeing other women?
“I saw you at the cafe across the street from the library. Giving her gifts and hugging her. You were rubbing it in my face!”
An icy hand squeezed my heart, twisting and crushing. Such an innocent thing had cost me the love of my life. I’d never thought about how it looked, and because of my idiocy, I’d been forced to see the distrust and hurt in her face. I doubted I would ever recover from the memory of her putting the chair between us, as though afraid to let me get close.
“Are you talking about his sister?” Evander asked, speaking up for the first time.
“His… sister?” Axelle’s energy dimmed so fast I thought she was fading in front of us.
“Hey! Don’t fade! Take my energy if you need it.” Breaking the promise I’d only just made, I grabbed her hand and pushed my energy into her.
“Stop! I’m not fading.” She yanked her hand away from me, sending another knife through my heart. But then she touched my cheek and asked, “That was your sister?”
“Yes. I called her to get some information about reapers since her husband was close to Philetus. But then she started prying about why I was glowing and I spent the whole meal talking about you. And the gift was for my niece.”
“Oh, Loch!” Axelle cried, throwing her arms around me and burying her face against my skin.
I swept her into my arms, finally feeling like I could breathe again. I knew I should say something, but I couldn’t speak. My eyes burned, and I quickly closed them, not wanting her to see me cry. I’d caused her enough pain and sadness.
My heart was hers and hers only… whether she chose to keep it or not.