Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Hayden
Her scent is overpowering. As soon as the beta from the community center opens the door, I’m flooded with cardamom and cloves. A crisp fall evening in front of the fire. A fresh mug of hot tea, sweetened with honey. Comfort and safety and warmth.
I want to fall to my knees and worship her.
I want to beg her forgiveness for what happened. That I wasn’t there to protect her, that I hadn’t found her sooner. That I can’t heal her properly.
The beta gestures me to come in, and I nod in thanks.
I kick my shoes off by the door and he leads me to the kitchen.
It’s all I can do to hold steady, to not bowl her over and scoop her into my arms. Her jaw is bruised, and she has partially healed scrapes and bruises all over her arms. Her head isn’t bandaged anymore, but her temple where she got knocked out is a nasty purple-blue color with a bump the size of her fist. I swallow hard, trying to look past her injuries, but it’s nearly impossible with my alpha instincts screaming at me that my omega needs my attention and care.
“Siobhan?” I say, forcing myself to pause in the kitchen doorway. “Is it okay if I come in?”
She stares at me, bright blue eyes wide and pink lips parted. Her breathing is heavy as she sucks in long pulls of my scent. I wonder if I look as awe-struck as she does. Probably worse, I realize when I snap my mouth closed and have to clear my throat to speak again. “Are you okay?”
“Uh-huh,” she mumbles, then blinks rapidly. “I mean, yes, please come in.”
She jumps into action, attempting to clear off a section of counter in front of a bar stool, but the beta, Aury, steps in with one hand on her waist and the other snagging her fingers in his.
“Moonbeam,” he whispers. “Why don’t you sit down and let me do this?”
“Right,” she says. “Yeah no, I can hel—”
He clicks his tongue and gently turns her, and she sags with a resigned look on her face.
I get the sense she doesn’t like being seen as weak, although I would never suspect her of being so, regardless.
She needs to be resting, and it’s with a surge of approval that I observe her acquiescing to the soft-spoken beta as he takes control of the situation.
“Here,” he says, clearing a spot for me and pulling out the stool next to hers. “Come on in, I was finishing up some dinner for us.”
I run my eyes up and down his body, taking in his relaxed but guarded posture, and wonder again what their relationship is.
I take a seat with my knees angled towards Siobhan’s, trying my best not to crowd her space.
Every inch of me wants to lean into her and suck on her scent gland, to lick a stripe up her delicate neck and then down her stomach.
To inhale her blooming perfume straight from the source.
“Thank you for agreeing to speak with me,” I say, clearing my throat again.
I practiced what to say the whole drive over here, and yet somehow every planned word has fled my mind.
“I wanted to check in on you. It’s not the most ethical thing to look up your info like I did, but I had to— I wanted to—”
I pause and scrub a hand through my curls, fisting it against the back of my head. This is not coming out right.
“It’s okay,” she says, leaning a few inches closer. “I’m glad you’re here.”
I let out a breath of relief as some of the anxious tension loosens my shoulders.
“I have to wear scent dampeners for work,” I say, deciding to just get it out.
“I knew you were my scent match, but I knew you didn’t know.
So I wanted to—I don’t know. Introduce myself properly, I guess, to give you the chance to decide if you’d like to…
” I trail off and vaguely gesture between us.
My cheeks heat, and I hope it’s not too visible between my brown skin and trimmed beard. The last thing I need is to make more of a fool of myself.
She blinks a few times again, then her gaze darts to Aury where he has his back turned to us, giving us an illusion of privacy.
“I don’t—” she says, then stops. “You knew?”
I nod, desperation stirring in my chest when her expression falls.
“You knew and…” Her eyebrows pinch and she looks down at her hands, fingering the splint on her injured wrist.
My heart plummets. It’s as I feared. She feels that I abandoned her when she needed me most. She might not have been able to scent me, but she sensed our connection somehow.
“I’m so sorry, Siobhan. I would have stayed if I could.
I’ll forever regret not at least trying to stay with you, even if you didn’t know who I was to you then.
” Her pupils are slightly dilated, and her breathing is picking up.
Am I scaring her? “I can go if you’re not comfortable.
” Saying those words is like tearing my heart out, but I force myself to anyways.
She shakes her head no, but her scent is turning bitter. Aury turns from the stove, flicking the burners off and setting down the spatula. Then he’s tucking himself in between our bodies, his back to me, cradling the uninjured side of her jaw in his hand.
I stand and take a couple steps back, intending to give them some room, but a whine tears from her throat as I put distance between us.
I freeze, and Aury holds up one hand, which I take as further indication to not move.
Her fingers are clutching his biceps, creating little indents where they dig into his skin.
“What’s going on in your head, Moonbeam?” he whispers. “Please, talk to me.”
“I don’t know,” she whispers in reply. “It feels like too much, too fast. And I can’t think right, my head…”
Aury nods slowly and strokes one hand down her long hair. “You’re overwhelmed?”
She nods, then winces, and I clench my hands into fists to prevent myself from tearing her from his hold and cradling her in my arms. That’s not what she wants or needs right now.
I’m not what she needs right now, much as that hurts to admit.
“Why don’t we all exchange numbers?” Aury says, still facing her. “You can take some space, sort out your thoughts, then decide if you want to meet up or not.”
She’s nodding, slowly this time, before he’s done speaking.
I pull out my phone and pass it to the beta when he steps out from between us, allowing me to see her clearly again.
My alpha instincts are bristling at the fact that he’s doing my job instead of me, but I force the impulses down.
She’s not my omega, not yet, and I need to respect her autonomy if I have any hope of that changing.
Aury puts his number in, then offers it to Siobhan to do the same. I sigh in relief when she accepts it; I wasn’t sure she would.
“I’ve been staying with her while she recovers,” Aury says, handing my phone back to me. “Feel free to reach out if you’d like.”
My chin jerks in confirmation, my jaw clenched too tight with nerves to reply beyond that. I suck in one last breath of her scent, regretting my part in souring it, then I turn to leave.
“Wait,” Siobhans husky voice stops me, and I angle my shoulders back to look at her. “What’s your name?” Her blue eyes sink into me, guileless, unaware of the way I’m raging against myself right now.
“Hayden,” I manage to rasp out. “Hayden Rivera, they/he.”
“Thank you, Hayden,” she says, but I can’t reply to that.
She has nothing to thank me for, not yet. Walking away from her is like tearing my soul in half. I wonder for a moment if I’m having a heart attack as I drop into my car, but no. It’s the pull of a scent matched alpha and omega. It goes against our natures to put distance between us like this.
I hope she’s not feeling the same pain I am.
When I get home, Jayce is there waiting for me. Through the window on the front door I can see his burly form and blond head pacing up and down the hallway.
“Where were you?” he says the moment I step inside. But then he freezes, nostrils flaring, and I cringe. I should have texted him. “You went to see her?”
I nod with a resigned sigh. “Yeah.”
“And? What happened? Is she okay?” He fires questions at me, and I hold up a hand to slow him down.
“She’s recovering. The same beta that was with her when we arrived at the accident is staying with her now. His name is Aury,” I say, my brows pinching when my heart flutters thinking about him. It’s not a spike of jealousy or anger, like I would have expected.
Jayce’s eyes dart between mine, and he immediately reads me for filth. “You like him.”
I shake my head and turn away, walking into the kitchen to get our own dinner started.
“I don’t know either of them, but yeah. The way he was with her…
it was good. It was—” I clench my jaw, teeth grinding together, but I force the words out, “I think it’s what she needs right now.
And… I’m drawn to him, too. Not as much as her, but still. ”
“Do you think he’s a scent match, too?” Jayce asks, crossing his arms so his biceps bulge as he leans against the counter across from me.
I shrug. “Not sure. I couldn’t get a whiff of him with her scent covering the place.”
Jayce nods, emotions flickering across his face. Guilt twists in my stomach, and I try to assuage it by sharing more with him.
“She’s bruised, but handling it well. Seems to be up and moving around fine.
And she’s gorgeous,” I say, eyeing Jayce to see if he wants to hear more.
His gaze locks on me, so I continue. “Long silvery-blonde hair, a septum piercing that does things to me, and the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen.
” I shake my head, baffled all over again at how stunning she is.
“I got the sense she’s stubborn, or maybe doesn’t like accepting help. ”
“What’s her place like?” he asks.
“Nicer than ours,” I huff. “Big. Lots of crystals all over the place, what I could see from the entryway and kitchen, anyways. She seems to have a particular—” I stop, searching for the word. “I don’t know. Gothic witchy aesthetic. I guess.”
“Gothic witchy? What the hell does that mean?”
I snort a laugh this time, shaking my head in amusement now. “I don’t know, man. There were lots of dark colors. Green and purple and black. Vintage glass lights and stacks of books and stuff all over the place.”
“Huh,” Jayce says, staring off into space as his eyes unfocus, probably trying to picture it. Good luck. I’ve never seen anything like it.
“I gave both of them my number,” I say. “Got theirs, too.”
There’s no mistaking it this time. Jealousy flares in his eyes and his shoulders tense beneath his tight tee.
“Aury mentioned setting up a date. If she wants.”
His jaw audibly clicks, and guilt sits heavy in my stomach.
“We didn’t have much time to talk, so I didn’t get a chance to tell them about you. I will as soon as I hear from either of them, though. I’m sure they’d be happy for you to come, too.”
He averts his gaze, staring down at the floor between us. It hurts my heart, knowing that I hurt him.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you where I was going. Or ask if you wanted to come. Or tell them about you,” I say, my voice getting quieter as each apology rambles out of me.
He sucks in a slow breath, then his eyes meet mind. Hurt, want, anguish and confusion, all swirling through them.
“Why didn’t you?” he says, voice so low I have to strain to hear it.
“I don’t know,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”
He pinches his lips together, shoulders tensing even further. Then nods once, turns, and strides out of the kitchen.