Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Siobhan
“I’m so sorry, Siobhan,” Jayce says as soon as he closes the bathroom door behind us.
He sets me on the counter, and I shiver, prompting him to immediately pick me back up again.
He holds me with one arm like it’s nothing and snags a towel off the rack, sets it on the counter, then places my bare ass on top of it.
I absorb all of this with conflicting feelings.
On the one hand, it feels so warm in my chest to be cared for like this, but on the other, I don’t want to be coddled.
I’m not made of glass, and I’m afraid if I start to give in to these alphas that they’ll chip away at my independence until there’s nothing left of it.
I nibble on the corner of my lip while my mind flips back and forth.
When Jayce kneels on the tile floor in front of me, his eyes are level with my knees. I suck in a breath, but then his words register.
“Wait, what?”
“I bonded you without your permission, and I’m so sorry for taking that choice away from you.” His voice is low, mournful, and it tugs at my heart.
Then I realize that tug I’m feeling is him. That’s his emotion, his regret and sorrow sitting so heavy that they’re flooding the bond. Our bond. That he regrets.
“You…” My emotions plummet as hurt crashes into me. A quick blip of surprise at the strength of my reaction interrupts it, but only for a moment before my omega instincts take over again.
“Whoa,” Jayce says, his brows pulling together in concern. “Pretty omega, talk to me. Please. I’m not good at this, but I can feel your hurt.”
“And I feel your regret,” I choke out. “You regret bonding me?”
“No!” His eyes widen in alarm and I blink at the vehemence in his voice.
“No,” he says, softer this time. “I don’t regret bonding you, not for a second.
But I do regret that we didn’t talk about it first. That you didn’t…
” He trails off and his eyes dart to the side.
He licks his lips, then takes a deep breath.
“I wish you had chosen this,” he whispers. “Chosen me.”
Oh. Oh.
I don’t know what to think, what to feel.
My emotions are a riot in my chest while my mind sprints in chaotic circles.
There is some anger that the choice was taken from me.
I’m already losing control, risking my independence and the life I’ve built for myself.
I rub my chest when his emotions tangle with mine, making things more confusing.
His hope and warmth, sorrow and regret, devotion and…
I suck in a surprised gasp and our eyes lock.
“I’m yours,” he says, voice thick. “Whether you’re mine or not, I’ll always be yours.”
My mouth drops open as shock ripples through me. With that one sentence, he pushed back all of my fears. My worries and apprehension, all wiped away with only a few words. Because he just gave me my choice back.
“Jayce,” I whisper.
Hazel eyes blink up at me, so full of want I can’t take it.
“Kiss me,” I say.
His lips twitch and his eyes dart to my mouth, then he looks back up and meets my gaze, uncertainty flashing in his. He only hesitates a moment though, and then he surges to his feet and presses his lips to mine.
“You’re mine?” I say, intending it to be a statement, but it comes out as a question.
“I’m yours,” he replies between kisses. Then he pulls back and flips the shower on, picking me up again and stepping in once the water is warmed up.
He tips my head back into the spray, then snatches up the shampoo before I can. I roll my eyes, but it feels good to be pampered every now and then, so I’ll allow it this time.
“So I sent you into a rut?” I say, closing my eyes as he scrubs his fingers into my scalp.
“Mm,” he grunts, and I chuckle. He spins me around and tips my head back into the water again.
I open my eyes to see his pale chest dappled with blond hair and covered in freckles only inches from my face.
Before I can truly appreciate the view, he’s dumping conditioner on my head and I squawk in alarm.
“That is not how you use conditioner!”
“What? What’s wrong?” He looks like he’s worried I’m going to hurt him, and I roll my eyes again. Dramatic alpha.
“You comb it through, not plop it on my scalp. Like this,” I say, demonstrating how I comb my fingers through my hair to gently disperse the conditioner.
“Oh.” He attempts to scoop up the puddle on my head, then proceeds to carefully slide his fingers through my long locks.
I groan in appreciation, only realizing I closed my eyes again when something bumps my hip and I open my eyes to look. His hard cock is bobbing between us, and I gasp, my perfume exploding into the air around us.
My bond mark is a shiny, bright silver-white scar. A crescent shape on one side of his cock, right in the middle of the shaft. A vicious, brutal claim.
“Holy shit,” I breathe. Then I promptly drop to my knees, intending to get a closer look—and a taste—of my new favorite cock.
“I don’t think so, pretty omega,” Jayce says, scooping me up under my arms as quickly as I fell to my knees. I frown, and he huffs a soft laugh. “You need to eat. You’ve lost too much weight from your heat.”
“What,” I scoff. “I have not.”
“Have too,” he says.
I gape at him. Is he seriously arguing with me like that? “It’s been three days. I haven’t lost any weight, and if I have, it’s negligible. You’re being over bearing.”
He narrows his eyes and his jaw flexes. “Almost four, actually. I’m taking care of you. You need to eat.”
My walls go up without me intending it. My expression hardens, and I take a step back from him. “I’ve been taking care of myself for years, Jayce, and if this is what you think being bonded to me means, you better try again.”
I turn and step out of the shower, snagging a towel from the warmer and wrapping it around me.
“Wait,” he says, turning off the shower and scrambling out after me.
I glance over my shoulder only to see the big alpha looking so crushed, so rejected and hurt that I worry for a second he’s going to cry. Confusion is pulsing down the bond from his end, and I force myself to slow down. He doesn’t understand.
“I’ll eat,” I say, and his shoulders loosen. “Just… You can’t start treating me like a child, Jayce.”
“I know,” he says, looking down. I follow his gaze to see him curling his toes into my fluffy lavender bath mat. He swallows so hard I can hear it, then he somehow looks up at me, despite being nearly a foot taller than I am. “I’ll do my best to keep my instincts in check.”
I soften, because I know how hard it can be to fight those instincts. And with a new bond, they’re going to be riding both of us hard for the next couple weeks.
“Thank you.” I step forward and offer him the second towel.
I find my phone on the charger in the kitchen where everyone is gathered, but when I open it to check my notifications, I groan. “What the hell?”
During my heat, Helen posted a new video that’s gone viral and countless people have sent it to me and tagged me in the comments.
“What’s up?” Aury asks, sidling up next to me so he can peek over my shoulder. I tilt it so he can see, then press play.
Helen’s abrasive voice blares at us as she praises herself for her previous “healing” spell and once again proposes a collab.
“Now that Siobhan is all healed up, should we finally do that collab we’ve been hinting at?
Combine my magic with her tarot? I bet we could make some awesome content for you guys. What do you say?”
She grins and winks at the camera, and I wrinkle my nose.
Then she calls for her followers to boost the post and send it to me if they want to see us working together—which explains why I have hundreds, if not thousands, of unread messages and requests.
I click into the comments and see a pinned comment at the top from one of her followers. My eyes widen as I read it.
You both live in Michigan, you could totally meet up! I’ve seen that you’ve both done content in Traverse City, I bet you’re close! DO ITTTTTT
In response, Helen has confirmed that she wants to meet near Traverse City and tags my account, challenging me to agree.
“Ugh,” I grumble and plop onto a seat as my fingers fly, trying to do damage control.
I search my messages for the online friend I’d previously sent her “healing” video to, wanting to see if she replied while I was busy guzzling cum like my life depended on it. Sure enough, her response confirms what I suspected.
Her: Yeah girl, that’s not right. She’s definitely mixing weird ingredients that are going to counteract each other, and her incantation feels off too. Nothing overt, but it gives me the creeps.
You need to make sure you have some protection runes up. Ideally some jewelry you can wear. I don’t know what she’s up to, but I don’t like it.
Let me know if you want me to do any counter spells, I can send you a protection spell jar if you want.
Me: Thanks Lida, I appreciate it and I might take you up on that! I don’t know if I can get out of this collab now though, not with how much traction it’s gotten. Her latest went viral and my followers are all clamoring for me to do it…
Her: Oof, yeah you might have to. Send me your PO box and I’ll get a spell jar sent tomorrow.
Me: Thanks, you’re amazing. I already bought some extra crystals and have cleansed and recharged them. I’ll be sure to wear some protective runes and jewelry, anything else you’d suggest?
Her: Keep cleansing your space and your mind, no knowing what nefarious shit she’s getting up to in private or if she has it out for you
Me: I think she just wants to ride on my coat tails, but I hear ya. Will definitely do that
Her: Moon blessings!
When I drop my phone with a sigh, I look up to see three pairs of eyes locked on me. They’re all frozen, muscles tense, staring at me with varying degrees of concern.
“Uhh…” I say, shrinking back from the unwanted attention. “What’s with the weird vibes?”
“Why are you stressed?” Jayce growls, and I pin him with a disapproving look.
“Didn’t we just talk about that attitude?” I say, exasperated.
He licks his teeth, then stalks towards me. “We did, but when your scent starts broadcasting distress, and your side of the bond flares with anxiety, irritation, uncertainty? That’s not the strong, independent omega I know. So I’m going to question why.”
Okay, so. He has a point. I wrinkle my nose.
“Fine, there’s some online work drama happening in the witchy content creator world.
” I take a few minutes to explain the backstory with Helen, and they’re so invested they hardly blink as I talk through it.
“The weird thing is that there’s been no direct contact between us.
I’ve checked my email and messages for anything from her, but there’s nothing.
It’s so unprofessional and really strange. ”
“You think she wants something?” Hayden says, perceptive as always.
I nod. “I think she wants to use me to grow her own following.”
Jayce growls and Aury scoffs. Hayden hums thoughtfully, giving nothing away in their expression. I hate how hard they are to read sometimes.
“It just feels icky to me,” I sigh. “But I don’t think I can say no.
I don’t have a good reason and I don’t want to badmouth someone without cause.
Plus, saying no to this could backfire spectacularly.
I’ve been trying to ignore it the last few weeks, hoping it would blow over.
Unfortunately, the idea has been gaining traction with my followers instead. ”
“What can we do to help, Moonbeam?” Aury strokes his hand down my spine. The comfort is welcome, even if part of me still rebels at leaning into it.
“I don’t think there’s anything you can do,” I say, tipping my head to rest it on his shoulder. “I’m going to reach out to her, see what she has to say and what her plan is.”