Chapter 47
Chapter Forty-Seven
Siobhan
We’re all crammed into Jayce’s truck on the way to a river south of Forest Lakes, outside of Traverse City.
It’s a gorgeous drive, especially this time of year with all the trees turning fiery shades of red and orange.
The location is relatively remote but has established hiking trails, and we don’t expect anyone to be there on a random evening in the middle of the week.
My filming equipment is in the trunk, but I insisted on keeping my bag of decks and crystals in the seat with me.
I’m squished in the back with Aury, while Hayden drives and Jayce is in the front passenger seat.
They all tried to insist on sticking me up front, which I adamantly refused on account of my significantly shorter legs.
Aury then used the same excuse—less body mass—as a reason to sit back here with me.
Really though, they’re all being ridiculous.
None of them needed to come with me for this.
My initial instinct when they proposed this little mission was to say no, but I realized over the last couple days that I don’t mind them having my back.
I actually kind of like how it feels to have people ready to stand by me, to support me through whatever shit storm might come my way.
It’s something I’ve never had before, and while it’s a given that my inner omega likes it, I’m surprised by how much I like it, too.
Now I just need to move past that nasty little voice in my head that says relying on them is weak.
That I’ll never be good enough if I don’t do it all on my own.
That them supporting me doesn’t mean they think I’m incapable or not enough.
In fact, it means they accept me for who I truly am and are happy to play a background role rather than take over my life.
I’ve been shuffling one of my decks as a fidget to help manage my nerves, and Jayce keeps sending waves of comfort and soothing calm down the bond.
I don’t know why I’m nervous. I’ve done plenty of collaborations both in person and online.
I’ve attended events and markets, done readings in front of countless people.
None of this is new for me, and yet… My witchy instincts won’t settle.
A card flies out of the pile and lands in my lap. I sigh, mentally preparing myself for whatever this deck has to say about my current state.
I look down to see the Nine of Wands. I close my eyes briefly and tilt my head back against the headrest with a heavy sigh. Concern wafts from Jayce; I forgot to try to close down my side of the bond.
“What is it, pretty omega?” He twists in his seat to look at me and drops a massive hand onto my knee.
“Just my deck,” I grumble, picking up the card to tuck it back in. Aury leans over to see it before I can.
“Nine of Swords? What does it mean?” he asks.
They all wait, the silence of the car heavy with expectation. Hayden keeps glancing in the mirror at me.
“It’s… a challenging card. Can indicate good or bad…” I don’t know how to say it without setting them all off. “It means I’m close to reaching a goal…”
“But?” Aury prompts, and I wrinkle my nose at him.
“But there’s a potential setback. This card says to proceed with caution, not to let my guard down—”
Jayce growls but quickly cuts it off, then his throat bobs with a hard swallow. “Sorry,” he rasps.
“It’s also about inner strength, courage, and determination,” I say, my voice hard and nose in the air. I silently dare them to defy me, to change the plan, to turn the car around.
None of them do, and my instincts settle.
“We stick to the plan,” Hayden says. “It’s solid, and we’ll be there for you the whole time. You have your protection runes and crystals, and we have the ones you gave us. We’ll be fine.”
I nod and relief floods my system. I might have been faking most of my confidence, so hearing Hayden reaffirm everything makes me feel loads better.
“Right,” I say, feeling much less defensive now. “We’ve got this.”
The sun is finishing its descent when we pull off the road into a small dirt parking lot.
There are two trails leading away, and we unload, then head down the right one towards the river.
When we arrive in a small glen, Helen is already there setting up.
She has twinkle lights hung, a wooden folding table set up, and a couple of ring lights plugged into an extension cord from her car.
I put on my best smile, set my shoulders back, and stride up to her with my hand out.
“Helen! Fancy meeting you here!”
She turns and smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Her hand is firm in mine—too firm, kind of hurts, actually—and I force myself not to wince. Aury is behind me with my phone, recording everything, and I wave him forward.
“This is Aury, he’s going to be doing some behind the scenes filming for us.
Get some sneak peeks and stuff to make some extra content.
” I gesture towards Jayce and Hayden, who both have their arms crossed after setting the equipment bags down.
“This is Jayce and Hayden, they’ll be taking photos too, and maybe doing some live streaming here and there. ”
“That’s not what—” Helen tries to say, but I interrupt her.
“It’s not exactly standard, but this collab is so hyped I really want to capitalize on it.
We’ll make sure the live stream doesn’t spoil anything, don’t worry!
” I wave her off, making sure to keep my voice extra chipper and cheerful.
Helen scowls, her face turning red, but it seems our plan is working.
She doesn’t have any real argument against anything I’ve said.
“Great, let’s get to it!” I snag my phone from Aury and click into a live stream.
“Hey everyone! You’ve all been clamoring for certain a collab…
” I pause, spinning in a slow circle to show we’re in the middle of the woods.
“And I’m here… to deliver!” I end the spin next to Helen with both of our faces in the shot.
I’m grinning, while Helen is scowling at first, but she quickly hitches on a smile.
I wave to the camera, then pan away before she can do or say anything.
“I’d like to introduce you to Aury. He’s going to be doing some live streaming and filming for us.
No spoilers of course, but I thought this could be fun for you all to see what goes into the creation phase!
We’ll get miked while the others set up, and then we’re ready to go!
” I wave, then flip the camera around and pass it back to Aury, who gives me a sneaky thumbs up and a wink.
“Pretend we aren’t even here,” Aury says, moving to take a position in our periphery as I assist Helen with setting up.
I unpack my tarot decks, careful to only set them on my altar cloth and not let them touch anything of hers. I do the same with my crystals, then run a finger along the protective crystal bracelet I have on, reassuring myself and trying to slow my pounding heart.
The clouds release the moon, and bright silver light floods down from the break in the trees above us. I tilt my face up to it and hum, relief and peace washing through me. The Moon Goddess has my back, too.
“Thank you,” I quietly murmur to her.
“Let’s go,” Helen says, speaking for the first time in long minutes.
“Stand there. Don’t say anything. Don’t touch anything.
Just let me do it and then you can do—” she flicks her fingers dismissively at my altar setting, “whatever it is that you do,” she finishes with a sneer, then steps over to her tripod to start recording.
I resist glancing at Aury, hoping he caught all of that.
“No problem! I’ll follow your lead.”
“Obviously,” Helen grumbles. She starts an incantation, and I pick up one of my protective crystals, intending to walk a lap around the ritual table she has set up.
“I said not to touch anything!” Helen snaps, and I freeze, staring at her. “I literally just said that. Put it back.”
“My crystal?” I ask, holding up the smoky quartz.
“Yes, your stupid crystal.” She glares at me, and I jerk my chin back in surprise. I knew she wasn’t nice, but I didn’t think she’d be so obvious about it.
“Right,” I say, frowning. “Sorry.”
I put the smoky quartz back on my altar cloth, and Helen huffs irritably, then starts speaking again. “Take two.” She holds her hands over the ritual table and tilts her head back, starting her incantation again.
I take a slow step back, then proceed to slowly walk the perimeter again, intent on containing whatever spell she’s trying to cast. She said it was a powerful abundance ritual for autumn, but I don’t believe her.
When she opens her eyes and sees me in a different spot, her eyes flare with irritation and she pauses, then snaps at me again. “What the fuck are you doing now?”
“I’m ensuring we have a protected perimeter. Is that not okay?”
Helen’s jaw clenches and she glares at me, then seems to remember we’re not alone.
She glances at Hayden, who is snapping photos, then forces herself to take a deep breath.
She straightens her spine, forces her expression into one of serene calm.
“Of course that’s okay,” she says. “Great idea, Siobhan.”
She says my name wrong, pronouncing it “si-ban” instead of “shi-vawn” as it should be. I correct her, and she rolls her eyes without comment. This time, I do glance to the side at Aury, making frustrated eye contact.
I try to check in on my bond with Jayce, but he seems to have his side locked down. That worries me, because the only reason to hide it is if he’s struggling to manage his emotions or stay in control. I send light-hearted annoyance down the bond his way, letting him know it’s not a big deal.
Helen continues with her next steps, then asks me to place my crystals at certain points on her table.
I reluctantly do so, silently promising to cleanse them as soon as we’re done.
She continues, combining ingredients, reciting spells.
I’m quickly confused. Despite having studied up and reviewed a number of spells and rituals and ingredients in the past week, none of what I saw is matching up with what she’s doing.
“Want to do your reading or whatever?” she says.
I force a calming breath into my lungs, then smile. “Sure! What should I set the intention or question as?”
Helen rolls her eyes so hard her entire head jerks, and I have to bite my lip not to laugh. She is a real piece of work. “How about you just ask for abundance, as that’s the ritual we’re doing?” she says, her tone indicating she thinks I’m an idiot.
I roll my lips between my teeth, then palm my most trusty deck.
I whisper a quick, “I’m sorry,” to the cards, not feeling good about involving it in this, but I proceed anyways, deciding to do a quick three-card draw.
I have Helen draw the first, I draw the second, then I let the deck spit out a third.
I lay each one face down on my altar cloth, then set the rest to the side. “Ready?”
She nods slowly, just once, having fixed her expression into a serene mask.
I look into her camera with a grin, then give her a conspiratorial smile as well. “Let’s see what wisdom the Moon Goddess has for us tonight.”