Chapter 13
JACE
Am I taking advantage of Ash? I think I’m taking advantage of him.
Watching my little brother chasing the neighbors through the sprinklers Eli set up in the field has everyone laughing, but I still worry.
Gerry is my responsibility. He is my little brother – not Ash’s or Eli’s or any one else’s.
Maybe I should look into moving somewhere else where I wouldn’t be a burden…
“Nickel for your thoughts, Baby Bear?”
Only Jackson is capable of making me feel small again – in a good way. I miss who I was before the growth spurt, when my big brothers could hike me onto their backs and take me on adventures all over town.
“Isn’t it a penny, though?” Gerry asks before swiping a swig from the can of pop in my hand.
“Inflation, Littlest Bro,” Jackson replies with his own attempt to steal my drink from me. “And kids get the Huggies. Pop and beer is for the grownups.”
Handing my can over to Gerry, I chuckle when he sticks his tongue out at Jackson before running back to the sprinklers. Despite having lost his father last month, that kid has been a beacon of sunshine in my life.
“Being a big brother looks good on you,” Jackson says after grabbing another can of pop for me and a beer for himself. “But it’s weird seeing a little you all over again… except… not you. You never let loose like that, Baby Bear.”
“I’m happy he’s never had to learn the lessons we did,” I say under my breath as Gerry runs past with Toby hot on his heels.
“He is never gonna have to face the system,” Jackson promises before sitting on one of the picnic tables Eric rented for our neighborhood party.
I take a seat on the bench next to him. “Justice already has his buddy who works in family law working on the papers needed so that we are next in line if… God fucking forbid… something were to happen to you.”
My emotions overwhelm me, but Jackson doesn’t make a big deal out of it.
He just puts his arm across my shoulders and pulls me in to plant a kiss on my cheek.
My big brother might be an immature goofball most of the time, but I have never, ever doubted his love for me.
To know that love extends to Gerry without even needing to ask… God, I don’t deserve him.
Twenty minutes after Scott announces that all the food is ready, Ash drives past on his way home. He had a job interview today, which should not be happening on a holiday to begin with.
I ruffle Jackson’s hair – much to his annoyance – and make my way across the field towards the mobile home park so that I can find out how it went.
Even when Ash is feeling masculine, he rarely erases all traces of femininity, but this morning was like seeing a stranger as he got into his car.
It didn’t help that it was probably the only time I have ever seen him outside of his home without one of his pronoun pins visible.
The last thing I expect is for Ash to slam his door hard enough to send the driver’s side window sliding back down into the door on its own. The string of profanity that comes out of his mouth would be impressive if only he didn’t look like he wants to break everything in sight.
“Waste of fucking time,” he says as the energy appears to drain out of him.
I hate seeing my friend this upset, so I hold my arms open to him and hope he takes the comfort I am offering up. While I know he loves spending time with Gerry every day, Ash is so incredibly gifted when it comes to office work and organization. Any job that passes him up is fucking stupid.
He got the office at Mac’s actually looking like something other than a teenager’s bedroom during SAT prep.
None of our vendors have needed to call about unpaid invoices for weeks, and updating the inventory to automatically update and order instead of writing it in a notebook that likes to wander has also helped us stay on top of what sells versus what doesn’t.
Eli wants to hire him on for the office work full time; however, Ash won’t let him.
He says now that it’s cleaned up, all of the office tasks will take at most six hours per week, including payroll, so there isn’t a reason to pay someone full time for it.
“I need to change out of this… torture device,” Ash mumbles into my chest after resting his head on my shoulder, and I wrap my arms around him. “Today is absolutely not a he-him day, but I couldn’t risk it. I need to work.”
I squeeze a little tighter until I feel Ash start to relax in my arms.
“Thanks, T.B. You should get back to the party. I’m just gonna go in and change and put on the she-her pin. I’m not exactly feeling like dressing up, but I’m done being a man today just because society likes it better that way.”
She pulls away from me with a small smile and starts towards the stairs to her backdoor. Right after she gets it unlocked, I call out to her.
“Girls can blow shit up, too, you know.”
It’s not much, but at least I got her to laugh.