Chapter 10
10
BLAKE
I ’m fucking wrecked.
It’s been weeks since Madison walked out of my office, leaving my heart crushed in a pile of dust on the floor. At first, I refused to believe it was really happening. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. When Chrissy showed up with her fucking threats, I treated them as the first big obstacle in our relationship, something we could overcome together.
Sure, most couples don’t experience shit like this so early on, if ever at all, but I knew we could handle it, and we did. I put that cocky little brat in her place and made sure she’d never bother us again. That should’ve been enough to ease my little one’s concerns and fears. But I was wrong, so very wrong. And now, I don’t know how to fix it.
I never expected Madison to break things off. I couldn’t convince her that if we could handle that bullshit with Chrissy, then we could handle anything else thrown our way. Her faith in us was gone, and that hurt worse than having my fiancée cheat on me with my best friend all those years ago. It hurt worse than anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. Knowing that my little girl loves me but left anyway has fucking gutted me. I appreciate her selflessness, putting me and her family above her own wants and desires, but it’s not necessary. I know we can make it work.
I’ve tried to not be angry, throwing myself into my job and working out until my body was so exhausted that I practically passed out every night. I was fueled by the hurt and rage, and I clung to my emotions because it was much easier than dealing with the pain I felt every time I saw Madison sitting in the back of the classroom, avoiding my sad eyes. To make matters worse, she ignored all my calls and texts too. I wish I could be mad at her for walking away, but fuck if I can do that. I love her too much and I’ll give her anything she wants. Even if it’s being away from me.
I thought about going to Club Sin to try to take my mind off things. But the idea left a bad taste in my mouth, just considering playing with someone else, even if it didn’t end with sex. I don’t want to touch anyone if I can’t have Madison, and nothing will bring me peace until I have her in my arms again. I’m heartbroken and unhappy and a pitiful excuse for a man right now. But I don’t care.
All I want is her.
And I know she’s suffering too. I see it in her eyes every time she glances my way in class. I’ve even caught her swiping at tears, thinking I don’t see her. As if I’m not watching her every move while she sits just out of reach.
She tries to fade into the background, arriving mere seconds before I begin lecturing and rushing out the door the moment I dismiss everyone. But she can’t fool me. I see the dark circles under her eyes and the way her shoulders slump while she sits in her chair. A cloud of sadness surrounds her and it tears me up, knowing it’s my job to take care of her and she won’t let me. I’m her Daddy. I don’t care that we’re not together right now, because I’ll always fulfill that role.
I have to get her back. Being without her is not an option. If that means I have to wait until she graduates in May, then I can be fucking patient. I’ll wait for her forever if I have to, but I know it won’t be that long.
Being without her is killing me and I can barely stand it. Thanksgiving was just a few weeks ago, and I saw her picture on the local news. She was with her parents, serving a holiday meal to the homeless downtown. She looked pretty in her forest-green dress, which I’m positive was selected by her mother because it was so damn plain and conservative. But you can’t hide Madison’s beauty behind boring clothes. She’s gorgeous no matter what she’s wearing.
I wish I could’ve been there with her, feeding her pumpkin pie with whipped cream after fucking her senseless.
Next year , I tell myself.
I’ll be with her next year for Thanksgiving. And Christmas, and New Year’s, and Valentine’s, and every fucking holiday for the rest of our lives. Once she’s mine again, I’m not missing one single fucking day.
I blow out a long breath and finish grading the finals. My little one earned a B. She passed. I submit the grades, and once they’re all in the system, I leave my office. But I’m unable to resist looking back at my desk before I go, remembering every time I had her laid out and taking every inch of my cock.
My dick twitches in my pants. I ignore it. I’m tired of fucking my hand, but it’s all I’ve got since I don’t have my little girl. However, that’ll be fixed soon enough. I just have to wait a few more months, and then she’s coming home with me forever. I have somewhere to be anyway, an appointment at the jewelry store downtown. When Madison is ready to be mine again, I’ll be ready to make it permanent.
The end of the fall semester is finally here and I’ve been dragged into helping with the graduation ceremony. I don’t know why anyone would want my surly ass to help with anything these days, but the dean is a friend of mine, so I didn’t want to let him down. We don’t have nearly as many students graduating as we will in the spring, and I’ve assisted with handing out diplomas before. Might as well make myself useful instead of sitting at home and moping around like I have been for nearly the last two months.
The ceremony takes place in the arena, and the students are seated in the numerous rows of chairs neatly arranged on the basketball court. I head to the side of the stage along with another professor, while the dean stands opposite us, ready to call out the name of each graduate. There’s a ripple of excitement flowing through the crowd now that all the speeches are over and we’re ready to pass out diplomas.
I try to not look so bored, my mind wandering to Madison, like it always does these days. Christmas is coming soon, and I wonder what she’ll be doing. Will she be in the holiday spirit and finally respond to my texts? Even if she doesn’t, I’ll still message her the day of. There’s not a chance in the world I could let the holiday pass without wishing my little one a merry Christmas.
I’ve completely zoned out and shifted into autopilot mode as the dean begins reading off the graduates in alphabetical order. We make it through all the last names beginning with A and B, and the other professor only has to nudge me once or twice to bring my attention back to the task at hand instead of daydreaming about Madison.
I greet the graduates with a watery smile, handing over the rolled-up sheets of paper that temporarily represent their degrees until they receive the real ones in the mail a few weeks from now. Then, the next name is called and the world goes silent as my heart threatens to beat out of my chest.
“Madison Grace Cavanaugh.”
Surely, he didn’t…
Her eyes find mine as she proudly crosses the stage in her navy-blue cap and gown. I momentarily forget how to breathe until she’s standing right in front of me with a dazzling smile on her angelic face.
But how did she…
I’m so fucking proud of her at this moment, amazed she pulled this off and I had no idea.
“Is that for me?” she asks with a grin as I stand frozen in place, unable to take my eyes off her.
Then my colleague elbows me in the ribs to get my attention. “Move your ass, Alexander. We got a whole lot more of these to hand out.” My hand shakes and my mind races, trying to catch up to what exactly is happening here.
Madison graduates today. She’s not a student. We can be together. Holy shit.
She takes the fake diploma from me, our fingers brushing in the exchange. Heat flares in her eyes while an electric current zips through my body at the thought of being able to finally touch her again.
Then another student appears behind her, breaking the spell that was holding us both captive. I blink away my surprise as she walks away, navigating down a row of chairs and taking her seat among her fellow classmates. I’d give anything to throw her over my shoulder and carry her out of here and straight to my bed. Or maybe to my office just for old time’s sake.
But we’re both stuck here for the duration of the damn ceremony, and I swear it drags on far longer than necessary. Her eyes stay on me, and I’m not playing it cool at all, despite the fact that I’m on a stage in front of hundreds of people. I just can’t make myself give a damn. My everything is sitting just a few yards away.
When all the diplomas have finally been handed out, the dean concludes the ceremony. The new graduates, along with their friends and families, exit the arena to congregate outside for congratulatory pictures and celebration. Normally, I’d hang around to chat with my colleagues and wish a few students well in their next endeavors. But today, I rush out of there like my ass is on fire, desperate to get to Madison before she meets up with her parents.
Relief washes over me when I find her looking for me too. Our eyes meet, and a broad smile spreads over her face before she races toward me with her arms open wide. She jumps into my embrace and I swing her around, the sound of her giggles flooding my chest with warmth. I bury my face in the crook of her neck, breathing in the tropical scent of her hair and relishing the feel of her curvy body pressed against mine.
Fuck, I’ve missed her so damn much.
When I finally pull away, she looks nervous and I’m eager for her to explain. “What’s going on, little one? How are you here?”
“I couldn’t wait. The minute I left your office, I regretted my decision. But I needed some time to think, some time to form a plan, no matter how painful it was.”
I cup her cheeks and she holds my intense stare. Tears well in her eyes and I wish we were alone right now so I could kiss her like I want to. “What did you do?”
“I knew I only needed a few more classes to graduate, so I talked to my advisor. I explained to her that I wanted to graduate early and she confirmed I had enough credits to do it.”
“But how?”
“I was pretty fortunate to attend a high school that offered so many Advanced Placement courses. My mother made me take all AP classes during my junior and senior years. And for once, I’m grateful she made me do the extra work because doing so actually gave me a whole year of college credits. And I didn’t need to take calculus after all.” She frowns a little at that last part, but I can’t blame her. Besides me, who wants to take extra math classes when they don’t have to?
“At least you got a B. You may not have needed it, but you earned it.”
That makes her smile. “I did. I worked hard for it too.”
I kiss her forehead. “I know you did, little one. I’m proud of you.”
“It took forever to get everything sorted with my advisor.” Madison looks at her feet. “So I thought it best to keep my distance until I knew for sure it would all work out. I didn’t want to get my hopes up only to have to break my own heart again if we couldn’t be together.”
I lift her chin and force her to look at me. “A few weeks or six months. I’d have waited as long as it took to be with you. You have no idea how much it killed me being away from you.”
“It was hard for me too,” she admits.
“I know you need to get going and find your parents. Can you meet me tonight? Club Sin at eight o’clock?”
Her eyes twinkle and she leans in to whisper in my ear. “I’ll be there… Daddy .”