Chapter 10
CECE
I leaned back in the Adirondack chair and closed my eyes.
My hair was still damp after my shower. It was one of those perfect end-of-summer nights.
The air was thick and less humid than usual.
It was just barely cool enough to make sitting on the back porch tolerable.
Crickets chirped from the hedges along the west side of the property.
The day had bordered on nightmarish. I had shown up dressed completely wrong and I had been too proud to ask to go home and change.
At least Stone had taken pity on me, not that I wanted his pity.
What I wanted was for him to look at me the way he had when he’d caught me changing in his office, like I was a goddess he wanted to worship.
I imagined the definition of hell would be all about being denied things you wanted and needed.
That was exactly what I felt about Professor Stone.
The next few months were going to be sheer hell.
I was expected to work alongside him without ever touching him.
I knew he wanted me, which made this whole thing better and worse at the same time.
While professors weren’t allowed to date students, there were no rules against a professor dating a grad student.
I might have checked the rules online. So the only thing that was stopping him from having me was him.
It was irritating that he thought I was some immature girl that would tell everyone I was banging the teacher.
Mom slid open the glass doors and stepped out. She was carrying a bottle of wine, two plastic cups, and a tray.
“You should have been a juggler.” I sat forward and took the bottle from her.
“Kid’s out like a light,” she said, settling into the other chair. She quickly put the tray of cheese and crackers on the table between us. “She made me read that dragon book twice, then informed me she would be living in a real castle someday.”
I snorted, taking the cup she passed me. “Let’s hope so.”
“We better brush up on our curtsying. She might be related to us, but I have no doubt she’s going to make Grammy and Mommy curtsy.”
I filled a cup for each of us, then took the first sip and let the slight bitterness wash over my tongue. I wasn’t a wine connoisseur. It didn’t bother me if it was cheap. I’d drink wine out of a box.
We sat in comfortable silence for a minute, each nursing our glasses of wine and nibbling on crackers and slices of sharp cheddar. It was all inexpensive stuff but it felt fancy.
The rental house Mom had secured for us might be old and creaky, but it had a wraparound porch and a giant oak in the backyard.
It felt like a fresh start for all three of us.
Three generations of Monroes. I was so grateful my mother was willing to put off her dreams of traveling around the world to help me with Sophie.
I knew there was no way I could have done all of this without her help.
It was so much better leaving my daughter in the care of my mother instead of a daycare or a stranger.
We didn’t have to deal with lice outbreaks and the circle of germs and viruses.
“Tomorrow’s the big day?” Mom asked.
“It is. First day of class.”
Mom knew a little about the mix-up with the TA jobs, but I didn’t tell her about the incident . I also didn’t tell her about how attractive he was or the fact he wanted to fuck me as badly as I wanted to fuck him.
Mom reached for another cracker. “Nervous?”
“Terrified.”
She grinned over her glass. “You’ll crush it. Just don’t faint. And don’t let them see you sweat. You walk in there like you’re the boss. You act like you’ve been on a million digs and found whatever the equivalent of King Tut’s tomb is.
I laughed. “Well, we’ll mostly be in the classroom, but I will do my best.”
She tapped the side of her head with her index finger. “It’s all mindset. Walk in there like you’re the queen of the archeology world and they’ll believe it.”
That was Mom. Nothing scared her. She wasn’t ever the most beautiful woman in the world, but she acted like it.
Mom’s confidence was immeasurable. I had inherited some of it, but not all.
Some things still terrified me, like trying to be a professional around the professor.
Grady . I ran my tongue across the back of my teeth just thinking about getting to use his name.
“I can’t decide if I’m more afraid of the students or Professor Stone.”
“Is he a grumpy old fart?”
I almost choked on my wine. “Uh, no.”
She sat forward and turned in her chair.
The look on her face made me cringe. She was using those mom powers.
I knew the powers because the minute—well more like a few months after giving birth—I had that power.
I knew there was no way I was going to be able to keep all of the little details about the professor from my mother.
“Cecily.” Mom used that tone that said she knew something and I could either tell her or she was going to find out.
“It’s nothing.”
“Cecily.”
I groaned and downed the last of the wine before reaching for the bottle and refilling the cup. “He’s attractive.”
Mom hopped out of her chair and disappeared inside. When she returned she had her phone in her hand. “What’s his first name?”
“Mom—”
“Just give me the name. I need to see what kind of academic tyrant my daughter’s working for.”
I sighed, then muttered, “Grady. Grady Stone.”
She typed faster than any grandma should be able to. A few seconds later I heard her suck in a breath.
“Well, damn,” she said, tilting the screen toward me. “That’s not a professor; that’s a thirst trap. Are you sure he’s actually a doctor?”
“Mom, don’t.”
“I’m just saying. If I was ten years younger?—”
“Only ten?”
She sipped her wine with a wicked smile. “He seems like a man who could appreciate things with a few years on them.”
“He does appreciate fossils,” I said.
Her burst of laughter said she didn’t mind the insult. “He’s more than welcome to check out my?—”
“Mom,” I groaned. The last thing I wanted was to think about Grady checking out anything on my mother. That was just a little too much for me. I wasn’t a prude but I was never going to share a man with my mother.
“Stop pretending you didn’t notice he’s hot. If he looks like that in field gear, I can only imagine what he looks like?—”
“Nope. Nope! Boundaries, remember?”
She cackled, clearly enjoying herself way too much. “Hold on. I need to see this image on a bigger screen.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Mom.”
She disappeared inside once again, giggling. At least she was having fun.
This time when she returned, she had her laptop in her hands.
It was hard to miss the picture of Grady on her screen.
I felt my ovaries squeeze at the sight of him wearing khakis, a flowing white shirt unbuttoned and drifting in what must have been a breeze.
His tanned, hard chest was on full display.
She clicked the mouse and another shot of him grinning and holding up a fragment of a clay pot. I had to stifle the moan that threatened to escape my lips.
I stole the laptop and snapped it shut, but not before one last glance at the image.
His eyes had been squinting against the sun.
A line of sweat cut through the dirt on his cheek.
He’d looked capable, commanding, a man who knew exactly what he was doing in the field and probably in the bedroom, but I wasn’t going to think about that.
More like, I was trying not to think about it, but now that the image was there, it wouldn’t budge.
“Just be careful,” Mom said. “Don’t fall for him. I mean, he’s hot, but he’s your teacher, right?”
I rolled my eyes. “There’s no falling. No tripping. No flirting. I don’t have time for any of that stuff. I’ll worry about dating after people start calling me doctor.”
“A fine piece of man meat like that? It’s only natural to take a shine to him.”
“He’s not man meat.”
She gave me a look.
“He’s my boss,” I said. “And a professor. And the university has rules about this sort of thing. And Dean Carver is watching him like a hawk. So no, I’m not falling for him.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive. No sparks. No kindling. No flint or steel. Just two professionals working together. No feelings.”
Lie. Dirty, sweaty, anxiety-inducing lie. Looking at that photo on her laptop was enough to make my thighs clench and my stomach flutter. And that had been nothing compared to being alone with him earlier. The way he had looked at me when he caught me trying to put that ugly pair of coveralls on?
But I wasn’t going to tell Mom any of that.
Thankfully, she seemed to be ready to drop the subject and save the lecture about fucking my boss.
“Sophie asked about her father again today,” Mom said, splashing cold water all over my heated feelings.
My chest went tight. “Yeah, she’s getting old enough to wonder why the other kids have two parents and she doesn’t.”
“I told her he’s somewhere far away. That she has everything she needs right here.”
I nodded. “That’s true enough.”
Sophie didn’t need to know her daddy ran out the door the second that pregnancy test produced two pink lines.
He’d packed up and left without a word, just a text saying he wasn’t ready to be a dad.
I cried for two days and then pulled myself together because I didn’t have the luxury of falling apart.
“She doesn’t need to know he turned tail and ran,” Mom said softly. “Let her have her innocence for a little longer.”
“She’s better off without him,” I said. “So are we. I had to delay grad school, but life’s back on track now. She’s healthy and happy. She’s got you. She’s got me. We’re a good team.”
“She’s got a mother who loves her more than anything,” Mom added.
“Damn right. Everything I do is for her.”
“Make sure no one derails you again, Cece. No matter how hot they look on top of a pyramid.”
I laughed. “That’s oddly specific.”
“You’re oddly specific. Just be careful. I know how hard you’ve worked to get here. You’ve sacrificed more than most kids your age ever have to. And I know an attraction when I see it. Before you made me a grandma at the ripe old age of forty-eight, I was a very active woman.”
“Please don’t tell me about your sex life with Dad.” I said it with a disgusted groan, but it was playful. My mother never denied how much she loved my father and how attracted they’d been to one another.
I reached for another cracker. “It’s not like I’m going to lose my mind over a good-looking professor. I’m not willing to risk everything over hot sex and good hair.”
“Hot sex, huh?”
“Mom.”
“I’m just asking questions.”
“You’re meddling.”
“I’m your mother. It’s literally in my job description.”
God, I was lucky to have her. Most single moms my age were scrambling, but I had backup. Support. Sophie was loved.
“I’m going to bed before you start asking about birth control,” I said, standing and stretching.
“Already covered. I put a box of condoms in your nightstand.”
“You did what?”
“Better safe than sorry. And honey, if you’re going to break your own rules, at least be smart about it.”
“I’m not going to—” I started, then caught the knowing look in her eyes. “Goodnight, Mom.”
Her laughter followed me inside. If only she knew how close we had come to needing a condom that first night.