Chapter 16
MAISIE
Considering this is only the second time Henry and I have been alone together, I thought it would be more awkward but instead it feels… normal. It feels comforting, as if we’ve been friends for longer than we actually have.
Like Henry said, being here brings me back to the memories I had with my mom as a child. It’s bittersweet.
I’m currently eating shaved ice—coconut and raspberry flavored—while I watch Henry throw darts at balloons.
“I’m going to win you something, anything, I swear.” He doesn’t look at me, just continues to throw darts, handing over more cash the more he loses.
I take out my phone to take a picture of this moment. “Can I take a photo of you losing horribly?”
He turns around after another missed dart. "I'm not losing, I am practicing until I hit something.” He hands over another five dollar bill to the attendant. At this point, he may as well have just paid for the teddy bear himself instead of buying the darts to throw.
My mom always took photos of me as a child. At the time I didn’t understand why she wanted a photo of everything we did, but as an adult, now I understand. She wanted to hold onto the memories. We all grow up so fast, I can only imagine how fast I grew up in her eyes.
She would always take her disposable cameras to the local drug store to get them developed and we’d flip through the photos together on the couch.
When digital cameras became more accessible, she bought one and was able to store photos on her computer.
Digital copies never stopped her from having a physical copy though, she has a photo album for every year I’ve been alive. Even now at twenty-four years old.
I click the screen to take a photo right as he turns around, the widest grin on his dimpled face.
“Finally!” He throws his hands up in victory and the attendant gives him the teddy bear that he worked so hard for.
“First try, right?”
“Right.” He winks as he hands me the bear. “You can never get rid of him, okay?”
“And why’s that?”
“I can’t have you forgetting about me when The Summer of Maisie is over.” He has a smile on his face but that statement makes me feel anything but smiley.
“Henry, I don’t think you would let me forget you even if I tried.”
He leans forward, taking up the space in front of me. “You already know me better than I know myself.” He takes my bag from my shoulder. “Are you hungry? Let’s go grab something to eat that we’ll hate ourselves for later.”
“Who knew putting a hot dog in corn batter could create such a terrific combination,” Henry says.
“They are pretty good, thank you again, you really didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to.” He smiles. “I enjoy being around you, Maisie.”
Henry leaves me speechless, I still can’t grasp my head around the fact that this beautiful man can look the way he does and be a total gentleman. Maybe I’m just so used to men only wanting a hookup. It’s altered the way my brain thinks about someone wanting to be around me just to be around me.
“How are you feeling about crossing off your first list item and going on the ferris wheel?” Henry pulls me out of my head and reminds me why he’s here, to help me check off my list one by one.
“I’m feeling… nervous.” I look at him with his gentle eyes already looking down on me. I feel centered just by him and his dimpled smile being here. “But I think I’m ready.”
“That’s my girl.”
My girl.
“Wait, Henry—” A thought occurred to me that had my stomach tying in a knot, I can’t do this alone. “You’re going to go with me right?”
He grabs my hands that are shaking over the thought of being so high. “Of course I will, only if you’d like me to.” He squeezes my hands a little bit.
“I’d like you to.” Our hands are still connected. “Now let's go cross off the first item, which may very well be our last if we die on the ferris wheel.”
He lets out a deep throaty laugh, though what he thinks is a joke wasn't really a joke.
“I promise I will not let you die on my watch.” He pulls my hand that’s still in his and starts walking. “You gotta get over that fear of yours and make the ferris wheel fear you.”
Gearing closer and closer to the ride, the thought of going on it isn’t as daunting as I expected it to be. It could be that I’m older and wiser than my traumatic experience as a kid, but deep down, I know the reason for my ease of anxiety is due to the man standing next to me.
I feel a squeezing pressure on my shoulders and turn around to see Henry looking down at me.
“I can see your shoulders tensing up from a mile away, Winslow,” he says, massaging away the worry. “I promise you’re brave and will come off of this ferris wheel wanting to do it again.”
“I highly doubt that.” I roll my eyes teasingly.
“Either way, you’re still brave for doing something you’re afraid of,” he reassures me. “Can I ask why you’re afraid of the ferris wheel?”
I’m afraid to say it out loud. I don’t want him thinking I’m pathetic for having a fear of heights and being claustrophobic. But then I remember how he told me I was brave, and that helps me get the words out.
“Remember when I said I used to come here with my mom a lot? When I was about seven, I decided I wasn’t scared of the ferris wheel anymore and my mom was so excited, it was her favorite ride as a little girl.
I wanted to be just like her and I felt like I was finally ready.
” I take a deep breath. “Unfortunately, when we got to the top, the ride broke down and we ended up being stuck up there for two hours. It was so small and hot, I had my first panic attack while we were waiting to get down. Ever since then, I haven’t done well with heights or small spaces and tense up when put in those situations. ”
That experience may seem small to some, but being able to talk about it out loud is a huge milestone for me.
“I’m so sorry. I’ve never had a panic attack so I can’t understand what you went through, but I’m so sorry you went through that.” He intertwines his hands in mine. “Are you sure you still want to do this?”
“I’m sure.” I squeeze his hand in reassurance.
“I’ll be here with you the whole time, I promise I won’t take my eyes off of you,” he says.
Before I can process his words, the ride attendant cuts off all the thoughts in my brain.
“Two tickets please.” Henry lets go of my hand which makes me instantly miss his touch.
He passes the attendant two tickets and whispers something that I can’t quite hear but I hear them respond with a, “No, sir, you’re all good. ”
“Are you ready, Winslow?”
I take another deep breath. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”
He takes my hand in his again and leads me to the chair which we’ll be sitting in.
“Brave girls first.” He lets go of my hand but immediately puts it on my lower back to guide me to the seat.
He sits next to me and with the tight fit of the bench, the sides of our bodies are flush against each other.
For a second, the feeling of him next to me is taking away all thoughts of being on the ferris wheel and the fact that we’re about to be up so high.
That thought quickly goes away when the attendant shuts the door.
“Can I hold your hand?” I ask without thought.
“Of course, use me in any way you need.”
I feel the ride start up and stare straight ahead to the fair in front of us as it gets smaller the higher we go.
“What was your favorite ride to go on when you would come here with your mom?” Henry’s words intrude my thoughts which is most likely for the better.
“Oh, um.” My mind is empty of anything that isn’t about heights and close spaces. “You know that huge slide that you go down with that dingy piece of cloth?”
“Well, of course.”
“My mom would sit on a bench and let me slide down it for hours.” I notice my leg shaking but I’m not even thinking about the height as I feel Henry’s hand move to my thigh and the shaking stops.
“I loved the rush of the air pushing against me as I was flying down, and seeing my mom smiling at the bottom waiting for me to ask if I could go again.” I look up from his hand on my leg to see Henry looking at me, a warm smile on his face and his eyes on me like he never took them off me in the first place.
“We should go on it today, make mini Maisie proud of her overcoming the ferris wheel.”
“I haven’t overcome it yet, there’s still time for hell to break loose.”
“I asked the attendant before we got on if it’s broken down this season and he said it hasn’t in a few years.”
“Is that what you whispered to him earlier?”
“Yes,” his thumb brushes across my thigh, rubbing in circular motion, “I wanted to make sure you were going to be safe.”
“That’s… very thoughtful of you.”
His dimples come into view as he lets out a boyish chuckle. “I’m a very thoughtful guy, Winslow.”
“So it seems, Bellwood.” A smile spreads across my face as well.
He leans in and I feel his breath against my ear as the ride comes to a stop. “And just like that, my brave girl tackled the ferris wheel.”