Chapter 44
MAISIE
Istand on my mom’s front porch, unknowing of where else to go. I somehow got through my day at work but once I got home, I was forced into a room with just myself and my thoughts, and it was all too much.
I suck in a breath, feeling my eyes start to water. I swear my mom has a sixth sense when it comes to me because I don’t even knock on the door, yet she opens it knowing I’m here.
“Maisie, sweetie.” She pulls me in for a hug. “Come here.”
I know she can tell something is wrong as she walks me to the porch swing. Growing up, I would always find her out here talking to my Grandma—they’d journal, knit, read, anything to find solitude. It was where she found peace in the chaos of life.
So many nights throughout my life I spent with her in this swing—friendship break ups, failed tests, not getting asked to homecoming. I know that if I sat on this bench with my mom by my side then everything was going to be okay.
“Why’s my baby crying this late at night?” She tucks my head into her shoulder and rubs my back while I let out a sob, soaking her sleeve in my tears.
“I love Henry,” I somehow let out, “and I don’t want him to leave.”
“He’s still here, isn’t he?” She rubs my head, reassuring me that she’s listening.
“He’s not staying here forever. I let him in and opened myself up knowing what the outcome would be, but it still hurts. I thought it wouldn’t hurt. He’s going to leave me and find something better just like dad did.”
“Sweetie, that's where you’re wrong.” She squeezes my shoulder. “I can’t speak much on your father but it's a disservice to compare Henry to him. I’ve watched that boy spend every waking second of his time this summer begging for even a glimpse of yours.
I watched his eyes follow you the first day he came into town and they never left, they were practically glued to you and only you.
Sometimes you have to go with your gut and that day I knew I needed to sit him and Miles at your table.
I can’t explain it but I knew I saw something special in that dimpled smile of his. ”
“He does have a pretty smile.” A tear slips but I smile at the thought of him.
“I know growing up without a father caused a lot of internal struggle, I see how hard it is for you to allow people into your life. But I also saw how easily Henry fit right into yours and how comfortable he made you feel. I don’t want you to let that go, even if that means that you choose not to stay. ”
“But what about the diner?”
“What about it?”
“You can’t run it on your own.” I look up at her. “Grandma left it to the both of us.”
“If following Henry is what you want, I will never hold you back. You deserve to live your life whether or not it’s here or in the city.
And if it for some reason doesn’t work out, you will always have a place here in Ruby Lake.
” She places a kiss on my head. “And if you want to stay, I’m always going to support every decision you make. ”
I wipe my eyes as I start to tear up more at her words. I think part of me was scared she wouldn’t want me to leave.
She wipes more tears from my face. “I stayed here because I wanted to. My mom gave me a good life and I wanted the same for you. Don’t get me wrong, I sometimes worried I wouldn’t be able to give you everything you deserved because I was doing this parenting thing alone.
” She squeezes my shoulder. “At the end of the day, though, it was always us together.
I never needed a man to be fulfilled in life.
I had you and that was the happiest moment of my life.
Plus, I had all the family and support I needed.
“At the time I didn’t know what the effects of not having a father figure in your life would bring or else I would’ve tried harder.
But that being said, when I had you, I wanted to make sure I gave you the best life even if that meant doing it on my own.
You make me so proud to be a single mom.
You grew into such an amazing, loving, talented, and incredible young woman. I am so proud of you, Maisie.”
A sniffle escapes me as I cry more, but this time it’s happy tears. “I love you, Mom.”
“And I love you.” She taps my nose with her pointer finger.
“I just have such a hard time letting people in because I’m so scared they’ll leave. I grew up so loved by you but always wondered why I wasn’t good enough to be loved by the other half of me.”
“I too wonder why life worked out the way it did, you deserved to have both parents in your life. I won’t lie that I’m selfishly grateful I got to love you enough for two parents.
I will always make sure you feel the love of both, if not more.
I know I just said this but you make me so proud to be a single mom and I don’t think I tell you that as much as I should.
” She now swipes a tear from her own eye.
“Also being a single mom meant I didn’t have to be attached to a man my whole life. Yuck.”
Her last statement causes crying laughter to fill the air around us. “Henry might be the only saving grace for mankind,” I say. “Miles too.”
“And that’s why you’re going to go after your man and get your happily ever after.”
We swing back and forth on the bench, taking in the moonlit summer air and I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders after her words.
“He is my happily ever after, isn’t he?”