Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
I’ve been up since before the sun rose, impatiently waiting for the leasing office to open for the day.
What I’m fixing to do goes against everything I said I wouldn’t do for the last eight years. I’m going back home. Well, one hour I am, and the next I’m not. I know that if I talk to the leasing manager before, I can chicken out, but I might actually do this.
After last night, there is no way I can step foot on that elevator and be comfortable. Everything happens for a reason. And I think last night was my reason.
Looking down and seeing it’s eight am. I hit the contact for the leasing office, letting the phone ring, and finally they answer.
“Good morning, this is Jewels.” Her voice is anything but chipper.
“Hi, Jewels. This is August Graft in apartment seven thirty-three. I was the woman who was stuck in the elevator last night and barely got out before it crashed to the ground floor. I’d like to speak to the leasing manager,” comes out fast.
“This is her; how can I help you?”
Breathing deeply, “I have three months left on my lease. After last night’s incident, I don’t feel safe. I’d like to see what we can do to help me get out of my contract. Especially because of the faulty elevator, and with this not being the first time it's gotten stuck.”
“Okay, if you could come to the office so we can talk about this in person. Also, we have your purse from the elevator.”
I sigh in relief at knowing they have my tote, but huff to her. “Sure, I’ll walk down the seven flights of stairs so I can come talk to you,” I tell her annoyingly.
Before twelve that afternoon, after sitting in the leasing office arguing back and forth, I’m let out of my contract without having to pay. I never say I’m going to sue someone, but this is a whole unique thing. And said what needed to be said.
Baylee called me, but instead of answering, I texted her to let her know I’m okay. I’m not telling her I’m coming back to Driftwood Bay until I’m standing on that island. I don’t want to get her hopes up and then let them down.
What if I get to the ferry and change my mind? I can’t have the thought of her waiting for me to force me to go. This needs to be all on me.
My plan is to stay at the cottage, but not let anyone know I’m there for good…
maybe. If I want to leave, I want to be able to do so without feeling like I’m letting people down.
I’m going to keep that to myself. Using the elevator incident as my reason, I can stay either in the living room or in my old bedroom, as construction on the bathroom and bedroom is underway.
It’ll suck, but I’ll do it, even if I have to use the restroom outside and bathe at Bay’s.
Unfortunately, I can’t take a heavy-duty moving cart up flights of stairs. Ask me how I know.
The building has two other elevators that are still in use. The one I was in last night now has yellow do-not-cross tape.
Rolling the cart into the elevator, I close my eyes before hitting my floor number, the entire way praying. My legs are shaking and my hand is squeezing the metal handle on the cart.
A wave of relief flows through me when the elevator dings for my floor, doors easily opening up.
The thing about not having a lot to your name is that it makes moving easier. I’ll have to have someone come pick up the bed, TV, and my sofa, but other than that, everything I own fits on the moving cart, even though I have to play Tetris with my totes.
Luna meows, uncertain of what’s going on. I know she’s going to hate the ride, but she’ll love the beach…I think.
The next morning, I leave my key under the welcome mat for whoever I hire to move my things, letting the door shut behind me, not giving myself a chance to think of what I’m doing. I’m on autopilot.
Everything I packed fits in my CRV, with Luna in the front seat. Her meows are getting louder, but I’m hoping she’ll calm down soon enough. Poking my finger through the metal cage of her pet carrier. “Look, if I had a Xanax, I’d share it with you, because believe me, girl, I need one too.”
My heart pounds as I sit idling, waiting for the ferry. Everything in me is telling me not to get on. To figure something else out or to be a big girl and deal with a damn elevator.
I want to call Baylee, but I’m not ready to explain it yet. My plan is to stop by their house and then tell her. See, I do things to the extreme. Leaving Driftwood and everyone behind, to me now, going back eight years later, older and not happier.
But being back there for those few days, I felt closer to my mom than I have in years. It was as if my soul calmed when I drove off that ferry and down Main Street, knowing we were home.
The word home, it's such a punch in the gut. Home is where one feels safest, loved, and happy, but for most of us, home isn’t there anymore.
But thankfully for me, it is, and I have the chance to go back; many people don’t.
And I know how fortunate I am to be able to do that.
Even though my home is missing three major components—Mom, Dad, and Bohdi—I am still coming home to Baylee and Kai and not alone as I’ve been.
“Here we go,” I whisper to Luna as I drive onto the ferry, next stop Driftwood Bay. There isn’t any getting off now.
My hands slip on the wheel from anxiety as I pull off the ferry and onto Driftwood Bay, a place I never thought I’d return to, but here I am. Running back after I ran away from it.
It’s still early in the day, so the shops are not busy and it’s easy to navigate the roads without looking out for pedestrians.
Knowing getting a coffee won’t help the anxiety raging in me, I still stop at Sippy’s and get Baylee and me an iced coffee. Drinking more than half of it down before I’m parked in front of Baylee’s and Kai’s.
“You’ve got to come in with me,” I tell Luna, hoping I can juggle her cage and the drinks.
I use my foot to knock on the door and wait, tightening my hold on Luna’s handle.
Baylee opens the door, and the look on her face when she sees me makes me laugh.
Shock and confusion written across it. She stands there in pajama shorts and one of Kai’s construction T-shirts, her red bob pulled out of her face.
“What the hell?” Her eyes widen as she looks at me holding the pet carrier.
And she automatically starts screaming and jumping up and down.
“You fucking kidding me!” She rams me so hard, I tilt back as she entraps me with her arms. Whispering in my ear, “August, you’re coming home? ” In her words, there holds hope.
“Just until the cottage is done and sold.” I fib, just in case I change my mind.
She lets go of me, tears in her eyes as she scans my face, seeing I’m holding back, but will take what I’m saying. “Well, Kai is going to have to make this last much longer than.” She laughs, grabbing her coffee and waving me inside.
“You can stay here until it’s done. Then go back while it’s on the market.” She smiles over her shoulder at me.
“I might come here to shower if I can. I want to be at the cottage.” I tell her truthfully, sitting Luna down.
Baylee laughs, catching me off guard. “Well, at least there is a porta potty out there.”
My nose draws up. “Gross.”
“Come, and you can let her out.” Bay points to Luna’s cage. “She can’t get into anything, and maybe she’ll find the damn mouse that is causing me hell.”
Smiling, I bend down, opening Luna’s door. She’s skittish, so I leave it open, letting her choose her own timing.
Throwing her arm over the back of the sofa, Bay squints at me. “So.”
Cocking my head, “A few months and I’m gone.” I say confidently, trying to make myself believe the lie I’m telling.
“Whelp.” Bay takes a sip of her coffee. “I will not look a gift horse in its mouth.”
My forehead raises at her, saying, “Okay. Whatever that means.”
Bay taps my leg. “Eat dinner here tonight?”
“Depends on what you’re cooking,” I say jokingly.
Biting on the straw, “Your favorite, Shepherd's Pie.”
My mouth waters just by her words. “You got me.”
Dinner was the best I had in a long time.
Laughing and talking with Baylee and Kai gave me what I needed after everything the night before, and my items from the Victorian house were delivered to the cottage, which is the icing on the cake.
Kai hates me; he just won’t say it because he knows Bay will elbow his ass in the ribs.
Kai told me it would be okay to stay at the cottage, as long as I don’t go into the bedroom or bathroom. Also, there’s no water at the moment. But I’ll take that any day over having to walk seven flights of stairs. Porta potty and bottled water to brush my teeth it is.
“We start early every morning, August. Just so you know,” Kai informs me as I’m on my way out to head to the cottage, with a container of Shepards Pie in hand.
“I won’t be in the way.” I hold up my hand before calling for Luna, who’s been MIA this whole time, exploring the big old house.
She runs from under Bay’s sofa. “What’s in her mouth?” Kai asks.
And before I can say anything, I spot the mouse hanging from Luna’s mouth. “Well, she got your mouse.” I laugh.
Baylee gags. “Get it, Kai. Oh my god, I’m going to be sick.”
It’s a fight with Kai and Luna, but he manages to get the dead mouse out of her mouth, and she’s pissed and hissing at him. “Sorry.” I widen my eyes. This place is already bringing out a different Luna.
Darkness greets me when I pull up to the cottage; not even the porch light is on. The waves sing me their lullaby as I make my way to the front door, their own personal welcome home. And I can’t help the smile that overtakes my face.
The house smells of dirt and wood. It’s a weird mixture.
Turning on the lights, there is a small amount of dust covering every surface I come to. “Nice.” Knowing I’ll have to get it cleaned up tonight, or I’ll wake up unable to breathe.
Leaving Luna in the car as I make trips back and forth, unloading. “I’m too old for this,” I tell no one. Letting the last tote drop to the floor, breathing heavily and sweating.
Finding Luna’s automatic feeder and water dispenser, I set it up before I bring her inside, dropping some toys in random places. Hoping she transitions well.
“Okay, this might be our new home. We’re going to try it out for a bit,” I coo at her, picking her out of the crate and placing her on the floor. She sniffs and is unsure. I give Luna space as I wipe down the counters and everything else that I can see the fine dust on.
Opening the fridge, I have one bottle of water to get me through the night and nothing else besides Baylee’s Shepherd's Pie.
With a tug, I yank the sliding glass door open, allowing the ocean breeze to come in and help with the smell.
I can see the moon reflecting off the water from the door, and I smile. Loving the view.
Going to my old room, I walk in, remembering the bed is gone before I even turn on the light. “Nice.” Padding down the hallway to the storage door, I find what I’m looking for: the ancient blow-up mattress we used to use.
Luna freaks out when I turn the blower on, blowing the mattress up before throwing my mom’s quilt on it. Frowning when I realize I don’t have a pillow.
Maneuvering out of my clothes, I replace them with some comfy sleep shorts and a T-shirt before grabbing my bottle of water and making my way out to the deck. Barefooted, my legs lead me down the staircase and to the sand, which cushions my steps.
Stopping at the water's edge, the vast ocean greets me. “I don’t know what I’m doing here, Mom,” I tell the waves, giving them my burden. One thing about the ocean: it’ll take what you give it, no matter what it is, and keep it forever.
Walking in a little, I let the water move over my feet.
“I yearned for this place for so long. I want to be here, but I don’t know if I can because of Bohdi.
” Tears fall from my eyes, rolling down my cheeks.
Tears for the uncertainty, the excitement of being back here, and the fear that courses through me.
“I miss you two so much.” Just then, out of nowhere, a small shore break washes over my feet and to my knees.
I stand there motionless, not knowing if that was them or just the ocean itself. But wanting to believe it was them.
Forgoing my way back to the cottage, I sit in the sand and watch the stars. They’re so bright out here, making you feel like you’re in a totally different world.
When you live in or visit a place like Driftwood Bay, you become used to the surroundings, but coming back, I truly appreciate it for what it is.
Once my bottle of water is empty, I lug myself back up to the cottage, sand sticking to me, but loving the feel of it.
Patting myself down, I beeline it for the blowup mattresses; it’s been a long two days, and I can feel everything hitting me.
Laying there enjoying the sounds of the ocean, I think of myself as someone who doesn’t think things through; I just do them.
With how I left the first time and now here I am back.
Am I impulsive? I truly don’t think I am, but maybe I am.
Or I just want to save my heart and will do whatever I have to make sure it’s safe.