18. Simone
Simone
Lani and I are wrapped up in a blanket on my bed in our dorm, snacks scattered everywhere, with a clothing haul playing as background noise on the TV.
I open up my laptop to find one of the dresses I saw in the video that I had to have.
My screensaver lights up with a picture of Tyler and me, and Lani coos.
“Y’all are so cute together, I can’t get over it.”
I blush a little. “Thank you. He is cute, isn’t he?”
“Cute? Girl, y’all are both hot, and as much as I love that for you, I’m kinda jealous.”
We both laugh as I type in the website for the dress, and Lani grabs a chocolate bar from the snack pile.
“How did you two meet?” Lani asks.
“We met in middle school after I moved to North Carolina from Georgia. He was the cute little basketball star at our school. I had a thing for him from the first time I saw him. Then, since I’m a woman with a strong will, I kept making sure we’d run into each other at school until he finally came up and talked to me one day.
He was always pretty shy, so I knew he had to like me back if he was talking to me.
We were just kids,” I say, shrugging, “dating was just something everyone was throwing around at that age. It wasn’t ever serious, just crushes that lasted a week or two, and then you’d move on to the next.
But Tyler was different. He actually treated me like he really liked me.
And then we just…never broke up like everyone else did.
The years kept passing, and we kept growing up together and falling in love.
We both want to be lawyers, and I’ve always pictured this life moving back to Charlotte after college and law school, of us being that power couple—successful, happy, in love, with a bunch of kids running around, and just having fun in life together. ”
Lani sighs with her hands on her chin. “Damn, that’s so freaking cute. Do you know how rare it is to be with someone at that age and for it to last?”
I nod. “Yeah, I know. That’s why I’m determined to make the long-distance thing work. It feels hard right now, but we just have to figure out how to make it work, you know.”
“You will,” she says confidently. “Real love can survive anything.”
I hope so.
“What about your love life?” I ask, trying to change the subject. “How many broken hearts did you leave back in Cali?”
She shakes her head, laughing. “Um, none probably. I dated a couple of guys in high school, but nothing serious. Most guys were too scared of me growing up to want to date me.”
“Why?” I ask, genuinely confused. Yeah, Lani has a big and bold personality, but she’s so lovable.
“Well, I don’t know if you know this…but I’m kind of a lot to handle,” she says, laughing. “I scared a lot of guys away…well, with that and with who my family is.”
“Your family is scary?”
She nods. “Yeah, they’re kind of known in Cali. It puts a big label on your forehead that says ‘stay away’, so most guys didn’t stick around…most.”
“Most?” I give her the side eye, smiling. “But not all?”
“Well,” she says, “there was this one guy…”
“Spill!”
“He was a piece of shit who broke my heart. That’s the only part of that story that matters.”
“He broke your heart? What a dummy. Who would want to lose you? He’s probably somewhere far away right now, miserable and regretting all his life choices.”
She scratches her head a little like she’s not telling me something.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Um…well, he’s kind of…here.”
“Here?” I basically yell. “Like at this school?”
She winces. “Yeah…”
“Was this a planned thing?” I ask her.
She shakes her head. “Oh, hell no. I didn’t even know he went here until I saw him that day, walking to the Gamma house with you for the first time.
And the thing is…my brother knows him, but when I asked him if he knew that devil was here, he told me no, that he can’t keep up with every single student at this school, but he’d make sure he didn’t bother me.
He genuinely didn’t know for the last two years and I ran into him within the first couple of months. ”
I look at her, shocked. “Hmm, it seems more like fate might be bringing you back together—”
“Absolutely not,” she interrupts. “Honestly, if I had known he even went to this school, I would have applied to another college. I came here because I felt more comfortable knowing my brother was here. I’ve never been anywhere out of state of California before in my entire life.
This was a big change for me, but I needed to get away… mostly from the memories of him.”
“Shit. Well, I’m glad you didn’t, and you’re here. Please don’t leave us,” I tell her, laughing.
She smiles at me. “I won’t. I love y’all too much already.”
“I still need to know more details.”
She shakes her head. “I really can’t talk about him. It still hurts. I’d rather just pretend he never existed.”
“That bad?”
She just nods.
“Okay, then. He’s dead to us.”
We both laugh, and I go back to searching for this dress I’m obsessed with now and won’t give up on finding.
She stretches out on the bed, getting more comfortable. “Hey, where’s Lydia tonight?”
I unlock my phone.
No new texts.
“I don’t know. She hasn’t answered me. She’s been going out a lot more lately, and I’m trying not to be weird about it.”
“You think she’s doing okay, though?”
I shrug. “I wanna think so. I mean, she’s been through a lot…”
Lani nods, knowing her backstory, knowing all the trauma she went through growing up and losing her parents, her sister, and then dealing with her abusive ex, who turned around and killed himself when they broke up, on top of the bullying that went on her entire childhood.
Things I wish I could take from her and carry myself.
“I feel like she’s really coming out of her shell here,” I continue. “I want her to flourish and be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for her. I want other people to experience the version of her I’ve always had access to.”
“I can see how protective you are of her. I understand that feeling…even when it hurts sometimes.”
I nod, knowing how true that statement really is.
We go back to flipping through videos and talking about school, classes, and everything in between as it gets late.
When we flip off the TV and get into bed, I pull my phone out to text Lydia again.
Simone: Checking in on you. Are you having a good time? Do you need me to come get you?
A few minutes later, she replies.
Lydia: Doing good, mom. I love you, don’t worry about me. I’ll get one of the DDs here to bring me back. I promise to be safe
I scroll over to my texts with Tyler.
Simone: Hey, babe. Thinking about you today. Maybe we can get on a call tomorrow?
I lay in bed for another hour before he finally texted back. It’s still earlier in the night for him since he’s two hours behind my time.
Tyler: Hey. Yeah, I’ll see if I can call tomorrow after my study group
Simone: I’ll be at the football game and tailgate party most of the day, but I’ll be looking out for your call
Simone: I love you, goodnight
Tyler: Love you
I roll over in the dark room and tuck my phone under my pillow.
I miss him. It feels so strange without him around. He’s always just…been there. I know it feels like this distance is making us drift apart, but I refuse to let that happen. There’s gotta be a brighter, happier, and more exciting side after this.