24. Simone
Simone
I’m standing at the airport exit with my stomach in knots. I quickly look down and check my reflection in my phone for the fifth time—my hair looks fine, lip gloss is still on, sweater’s cute enough, but still not trying too hard.
I had to get up super early to make it to the airport, so I just threw on the first thing I could find that was comfortable and presentable.
I feel like I’m trying to paint this picture for Tyler and convince him that we’re still who we used to be, that I’m still who I used to be. Or maybe I’m just trying to convince myself.
I’m sure there are a hundred girls on his campus right now who all look picture perfect—shiny, new, and still in the box with no damage or usage.
I try not to compare myself to others, but when you set such high standards for yourself, how can you not? If you want to be the best, you have to be better than the rest; you have to know the competition.
And I wonder just how much competition I have now.
People are walking out in waves, and every time someone with a backpack passes through the sliding doors, my heart jumps.
Finally, I see him—tall, handsome, with his thick, dark, perfectly brushed waves, and a face that I love.
My Tyler.
I smile so big my cheeks hurt, and then I rush forward, practically launching myself at him.
His arms wrap around me, but…not tightly. Not like he’s missed me. Not like the last two months have made him count down the days like they have for me.
Just…a hug…barely one at that.
I squeeze him a little harder, hoping he’ll squeeze back.
He doesn’t.
“I missed you,” I mumble into his shoulder.
“I missed you, too.”
I slowly smile again, hearing that.
He’s gotta be tired from traveling. His usual playful, flirtatious energy just needs time to turn back on.
I loop my arm through his as we walk back to the parking deck.
We grab breakfast, and although he’s pretty quiet, it’s still nice.
When we get back to campus around noon, I pull him straight to my dorm so he can put his bag down.
Lydia answers the door when I knock—hair in a messy ponytail, oversized hoodie on, and no makeup—but she instantly lights up when she sees Tyler.
“Hey, stranger!” she says, hugging him.
He hugs her back, squeezing her tighter than he squeezed me.
Okay? Where was that enthusiasm this morning?
Lani waves casually from her bed. “Hey. Nice to see you again.”
Tyler smiles. “You too.”
I look around the dorm, making sure it doesn’t look disgusting—I cleaned it last night specifically because he was coming. Everything is neat, cozy, and perfectly in its place.
“Okay,” I say cheerfully. “I’m dragging him around with me today. Got a lot of Greeksgiving errands to run. If you need me, text me.”
“Will do,” Lydia says before yawning.
She looks exhausted. Pale. Like she hasn’t slept in days. I really need to check in on her.
I feel like I’m running around like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to get everything ready for tomorrow’s Greeksgiving, running every errand Madison and Joy have given me, and still trying to talk to Tyler and catch up with him.
I’m trying to connect with him and hear how everything’s been in California, but he just seems so distracted on his phone. He hasn’t tried to start any conversation or has even asked me a single question, like he normally does when we get to catch up.
“Okay,” I say, juggling bags of decorations in one hand and my iced coffee in the other, “so tell me everything. How’s California treating you? How are your classes going?”
“Mm?” he murmurs without looking up, typing on his screen. “Sorry—what’d you say?”
I force a smile. “Just…how’s school going?”
“Oh. Yeah. It’s fine.” He scrolls a little more, eyes flickering back to me. “Busy.”
Okay?
I try something else. “We should take some cute pictures while you’re here so I can hang them in my dorm.”
“Sure,” he says absently.
What the hell?
“So, your midterms went okay?” I ask after it’s silent for a while.
“Mmhm.”
I let out a small huff. “You’re not going to ask me how mine were?”
He finally looks up from his phone. “I’m sorry, babe. How were your midterms? How’s school been?”
He kisses me on the side of my head before finally offering to grab some of the stuff from my arms.
I can’t help but get a little irritated. We get so little time together. I just want his attention.
“It’s fine if you don’t care; you don’t have to pretend just because I asked you to.”
“I do care, Simone,” he says, like he’s the one annoyed now.
I pop my trunk and throw the bags in, then stand there waiting for him to put the ones he has in.
“I’m just trying to talk to you, Tyler. Catch up, connect. You don’t even seem present.”
He puts the bags down in the trunk and pulls me into a hug, kissing me—shutting me up. When he pulls back, he smiles down at me, and I try to smile back through the sadness, feeling disappointed already with this visit.
He lets me go and kisses my forehead. “I’m sorry, babe. I’m here…I’m all yours for the weekend.”
I nod, trying to believe that.
It’s okay, we’re okay.
When we get back to the dorm, Lydia and Lani aren’t there. I instantly pull him to me once the door is closed, kissing him—the kind that hopefully tells him how much I’ve actually been missing him. I push him onto the bed, throwing my legs over the sides of his hips, smiling down at him.
“I’ve missed you,” I tell him, trying to be seductive.
He places his hands on my hips and smiles back at me. “I’ve missed you more.”
I lean down, kissing his neck, and his hands tighten on my waist, making me smile, feeling like I’ve finally got his attention now.
Sex is always the easy part. It’s the way you make each other feel like everything’s okay. Even if they aren’t, you can create this illusion that they are.
I pull his shirt over his head and start kissing down the ridged muscles of his stomach, trying to put on the perfect performance for him, trying to keep his eyes on me, trying to make sure his heart is still mine.
When I go to pull on the belt of his jeans, he stops me.
I look up. “What’s wrong?”
He runs a hand over his face. “I…it’s just,” he looks around the empty room, “they could be back at any moment.”
“I locked the top lock. They won’t just walk in.”
“I don’t know…maybe we should just wait.”
I sit back up on the bed. “Wait for what? What better time do we have?”
“I’m…I’m just tired, babe. It’s been a long day with traveling and running around.”
“And you don’t want to relax by letting me take care of you?”
I hate how stupid I sound begging someone to want me.
He pulls me down next to him, motioning for me to lie down. I snuggle up beside him and rest my head on his chest, looking up at him.
“You don’t want me?”
“Of course I do,” he says, but it’s not super convincing. “I told you, I’m just tired, that’s all.”
“Okay.”
I drop it, and we spend the rest of the night cuddled up, watching movies with the girls once they’re back from grabbing dinner.
What college guy only sees his girlfriend every couple of months and doesn’t want to immediately have sex with her? What am I missing? What am I doing wrong?
* * *
The Gamma house is packed, and the girls are running in and out trying to set up the backyard while the guys are grilling. It’s chaotic, and I love it.
I want to quickly introduce Tyler to a couple of people before I get pulled into the chaos myself to help.
I walk up to Madison and Ava in the kitchen, who are trying to direct everyone with their tasks. I place a hand on Ava’s shoulder, getting her attention, and she turns around, switching from her serious chaos organizer face into a bright and excited smile.
“Hey, Simone!” She hugs me and then looks over to Tyler. “Hi Tyyyyler,” she coos out.
“Hey, how are you?” he greets.
“I’m…” She looks around the kitchen, “busy…but good!”
Madison steps in with her charming smile, reaching her hand out to shake Tyler’s. “Hey, we didn’t get to meet last time you were here. I’m Madison, the Delta Gamma president. We absolutely adore your girlfriend Simone.”
“Nice to meet you, I’m Tyler.”
“If you want, you can make yourself comfortable wherever on the lower level of the house, or outside, where a lot of the guys from the Sig and Kappa house currently are. I’m gonna steal Simone for a little while to help with setup before I give her back to you.”
He nods, squeezing my hand and kissing me before walking over to one of the couches where a basketball game is playing and where most of the other non-Greek boyfriends are.
Lydia and Lani show up a little while later and jump into helping with whatever task I’m doing before we finally finish up and sit down to eat.
The tables are set up in long rows in the backyard, and everyone grabs a seat wherever they can once they’ve filled their plates to the brim. Tyler sits on one side of me and Lydia on the other, with Lani next to her. Mason, Tank, and Tanner all come to sit down across from us.
“What’s up, girls?” Tank says. “Happy Turkey Day.” He looks over at Tyler. “You’re Simone’s boyfriend, right?”
Tyler nods, and then Tank reaches his hand out across the table. Tyler takes it and shakes it, introducing himself.
Mason perks up. “Tyler…it’s good to finally meet you. Simone is always talking about you.”
Mason reaches his hand out, and Tyler shakes it, almost too hard by the looks of it, but Mason doesn’t seem to notice or mind.
“All good things, I hope,” Tyler says jokingly.
“Definitely, definitely,” Mason replies, already starting to dig into his food.
Tyler looks back over at him. “I’ve heard a lot about you, too.”
It’s a little passive, but not enough to be super obvious.
Mason gives me a look and then turns his attention back to Tyler. “All good things, I hope,” he jokes back.
Tanner also stands up and reaches a hand over the table, greeting Tyler.
We all fall into an easy rhythm while we eat, talking about school, sports, and all the events coming up.
“Simone is always the life of all the parties here,” one of the girls—Alexis—tells Tyler. “You must be just as crazy to keep up with her energy.”