24. Simone #3
Before I can even move, Lydia tilts forward, losing her balance completely. Tanner laughs again instead of catching her—even though she almost faceplants onto the floor. I get that he’s been drinking too, but it still annoys the fuck out of me.
That’s it.
I push up from beside Tyler and walk over, grabbing her arm gently.
“Okay, babe,” I say lightly, “I think that’s enough for tonight.”
“I’m fiiiiine,” she sings, turning to me with a sloppy grin. “Sim, I’m so good. I’m, like…so good.”
She’s not. She can barely form coherent words.
Lani comes up behind me, reading the situation.
“We’re heading out,” she says softly. “Let’s get you home.”
Lydia tries to go back toward the couch. “Wait—he was about to tell me something! Something—”
She blinks at me, and it’s like she completely spaces out, like she just forgot what she was going to say or where she even was, then her lip wobbles. Her whole mood flips into that fragile sadness she gets when she’s had too much.
“I don’t feel good,” she whispers.
“I know,” I whisper back. “We’re going home.”
Her knees buckle a little, and I have to hold her up. She’s too heavy and too floppy for Lani and me alone.
I look around quickly—who’s sober? Who’s close? Who’s strong enough to carry her without dropping her?
My eyes land on Mason, leaning against the wall with Tank. He sees us, and his whole expression changes instantly to concerned.
“Mason,” I call softly.
He’s already walking over. “What’s wrong?”
“Can you help me get her to the car?” I ask, shifting Lydia’s weight onto my other shoulder. “She’s too out of it.”
He nods immediately. No questions, just gently lifts her arm over his shoulder and supports her weight like she’s nothing.
Lydia mumbles something into his chest. “You smell goooood.”
Mason huffs a soft laugh. “Thanks, kid.”
Then I hear a voice behind me—tight and irritated.
“Why didn’t you just ask me?” Tyler asks, stepping forward.
I turn, caught off guard. “I just grabbed the closest sober person who wasn’t drinking. I wasn’t trying to bother you.”
Tyler isn’t drunk, but he’s definitely tipsy; his tone gives it away.
“I’m your boyfriend, Simone,” he mutters. “You should have asked me.”
“Tyler,” I sigh. “This isn’t about titles. She needed help. Mason was right there. It isn’t that deep.”
His jaw ticks, but he drops it.
Lani meets us at the front and runs ahead to unlock the car. Mason helps me lower Lydia into the back seat, and her head falls right into my lap.
She’s already half asleep, mumbling nonsense.
“Thank you,” I tell Mason quietly.
He nods, brushing some of Lydia’s hair off her face before stepping back.
“Text me if you need anything.”
“I will.”
He taps the roof lightly and walks away.
Tyler gets in beside me, and Lani starts the car.
For a second, it’s quiet.
Then Tyler finally speaks. “You text with him a lot?”
The implication and tone in his voice piss me off.
The jealousy was cute for a minute, but not trusting me five years into a relationship when I’ve never done anything wrong gets under my skin.
It’s not like he hasn’t had friends who were girls, and I haven’t had guy friends before. It’s never been an issue. Why now?
“We don’t…have conversations over text. I just have his number for emergencies.”
He lets out a low hum. “Why didn’t you ask me to help?” he repeats, quieter this time, but harder.
I rub Lydia’s back absently.
“Tyler, she was about to fall. Mason was right next to us.”
“So what? You couldn’t call for me?”
“You were across the room, on your phone. I didn’t think you’d mind.”
He doesn’t respond right away. He just stares out the window, jaw clenched.
Then, low and quiet, he tells me, “You’re too close with him.”
I blink. “…I’m close with a lot of the Sig guys. You know that.”
“You sure it’s not more than that?” His eyes flick to mine.
My annoyance starts to grow. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“I just—” He rubs the back of his neck. “I just see the way he looks at you.”
I look over at him blankly. “What way is that?”
Tyler looks at me and says without even thinking, “The way I used to.”
It feels like someone dropped a weight on my stomach.
He swallows, then quickly corrects himself. “I mean—the way I do. The way I look at you.”
But we both know that he was right the first time.
The way I used to…when I cared, when I was in love with you.
I stare ahead out the windshield, gently sweeping Lydia’s hair out of her face as she sleeps.
Lani glances at me in the rearview mirror, eyebrows pinched.
I look down, suddenly feeling very, very small. Like, no matter how hard I try…I’m not actually enough. Not enough for Tyler to want me the way he used to. Not enough for Lydia to open up to me anymore. Not enough to hold everything together the way I’m supposed to.
But I keep trying anyway. I always will. I’m supposed to get the picture-perfect life I’ve been working so hard for my entire life.
I know Tyler still loves me. If he’s loved me for the last five years…he can’t just throw those feelings away, right? I just want to feel it again. For once in our relationship, I don’t want to question how he feels, and I don’t want to force him to see that I’m enough…I just want to be enough.