25. Mason #2
She’s quiet for a moment, like she doesn’t really know what to say.
“They were…married, right?” she asks, softly.
I swallow, pushing through the anger that thinking about her and him brings up.
“Yeah, I’m not sure he ever loved her, though…
not that I saw, at least. When she got sick, he barely even looked at her unless it was to complain.
When she died…I don’t think I saw him cry once.
I didn’t even know if he was capable of feeling anything about it.
I thought he just didn’t know how to care for a long time…
like he was love-deficient or something, but then the twins were born, and suddenly, he’s soccer Dad, baseball Dad, PTO Dad.
I mean, he’s still never been what they really need emotionally, and is always gone, but at least he isn’t mean to them like he was to me, and he showed up when he was around.
I’ll take that. I’d rather them never have to feel that shit. ”
Simone’s quiet for a while, and I can see the way she hates hearing that.
She cares too much sometimes.
“Mason…you didn’t deserve any of that,” she says softly. “Neither did your mom. I’m so sorry.”
I shrug one shoulder, even though it makes me feel emotional. “It was just normal, you know? It’s what I grew up with. And you really don’t even realize how fucked up it is until you see how other dads are with their kids. How you’re supposed to be with your kids.”
She stares off for a second like she’s trying not to get emotional.
“At least you’re going to be a better man than he ever was,” she says. “You already are…”
I look up at her, feeling my throat tighten. Compliments from people usually roll off me like nothing; I don’t typically like them or believe them. But, for some reason, hearing that from her hits something I didn’t realize I needed.
“Alright, enough of that,” I say, clearing my throat and forcing a smirk back on. “Tell me what’s been going on with you. How have you been? How’s Gamma? How are your roomies? You ready for Christmas break? Parents? Boyfriend? Anything to get this conversation off of me?”
She laughs a little, looking down at her notebook and scribbling something. “Good pivot.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not trying to cry in a study hall,” I say. “So. You and Tyler—how are things? You haven’t been talking about him every ten minutes lately? What’s up?”
She hesitates. Then that smile she always wears slides back into place.
“It’s been…okay,” she says.
“Just okay?”
She plays with the corner of a sticky note on her page. “I don’t know. He’s been so busy with school and basketball stuff. It kind of feels like he’s…pulling away? Like I’m the only one trying to keep us glued together half the time.”
I shake my head. “You better tell him I said to get his shit together. There are too many guys around here who would put every ounce of energy they had into a girl like you. He’d better step it up.”
She blushes, then sighs. “Sometimes I wonder if he’s just been with me this long because I’m…comfortable. Familiar. The easy choice.”
That pisses me off to hear her say.
“You could never be the easy choice, Simone.”
Her eyes snap to mine, and the desperate need behind them for that to be true hurts.
I’m just being honest. There’s that thing about her—how she fills a room without trying, how she cares, how she shows up for everyone. You don’t get that with ‘easy.’
She’s quiet for a second after that. Then I watch as she keeps glancing at her phone beside her notebook, tapping the screen as it lights up blankly—no notifications.
After the third time she checks it, she huffs, irritated. “He hasn’t even answered any of my texts or calls in two days,” she admits.
“How does that make you feel?”
She gives a little fake laugh. “Like I’m annoying him. Like I’m…too much, or not enough to keep his attention. I don’t know. I’m fine, I guess. I just wish he would put in more effort so I wasn’t always questioning things lately.”
She changes the subject quickly.
Classic.
“It’s so cold in here,” she says, rubbing her arms.
I pull my hoodie over my head and toss it at her. “Here.”
She catches it against her chest. “Mason, no, I’m fine. I wasn’t—”
“Just put it on,” I say. “You’re actually shivering.”
She rolls her eyes but smiles as she pulls it on, drowning in it a little. It looks…cute.
She snuggles her hands into the front pocket and inhales. “Damn, why do you always smell so good? You’re a college frat boy…you’re supposed to smell—”
“Gross?” I laugh out.
She nods with a smile. “Thank goodness you don’t. There’s a big possibility I’ll be stealing this.”
I chuckle. “That’s okay. At least it’ll be in good hands.”
Her phone vibrates, lighting up.
For a moment, her face brightens, then drops a little.
“Just the Gamma group chat,” she tells me, holding up her phone.
“Girl drama?” I ask, teasingly.
She shakes her head. “No, Christmas Gala,” she groans. “I still don’t have anything to wear, and Lydia and Lani have been slammed with school, so I haven’t even been able to drag them out with me. I really didn’t want to have to find one alone.”
“I mean, if you just need someone to sit there and tell you a hundred times that the dress doesn’t make you look fat…I’ll go with you.”
She looks at me like she misheard.
“Really? You…Mason Sinclair…big bad jock…would go dress shopping with me?”
I smirk. “What are friends for if they can’t suck it up and look at the same dress in ten different colors, then tell you which one looks the best?”
She lights up. Like actually lights up.
“Okay,” she says, already closing her notebook. “Can we go…today? Are you free after this?”
“I’m always free for you, pretty girl.”
I see her trying to suppress a smile, but I wish she wouldn’t; it’s cute when she’s excited.
She looks at the clock and then back to me.
“Studying can wait, right?” she laughs out. “All the stores will be closed soon. If we went now—”