61. Simone
Simone
“Get dressed!” Lydia shouts, jumping on top of me in the bed.
I throw her off, laughing, trying to still open my eyes.
“This is why we don’t do sleepovers,” I yell, throwing my pillow at her.
She takes the pillow, beating me with it now. “We lived together for the last two years, girl!”
I shield myself with my arms, laughing. “Yeah, and this summer break has been heavenly!”
She stops, standing on the bed, hovering over me, looking down at me like she’s offended. “That’s rude!”
I stick my tongue out and then swipe her leg, making her fall.
She rights herself and then props her hands on her waist. “You’ll be getting all the space from me you want next year since you’re leaving us for the Gamma house!”
I give her a teasing pouty face. “Are you gonna miss me?”
She shoots me a pouting face right back. “Yes!”
“We’ll have as many sleepovers next year as you want. I promise. I mean, hey, you should be thanking me, actually. You won’t have to be in a cramped dorm anymore since you’re moving into a two-bed with Lani.”
“Blah, blah, blah,” she mocks. “All I hear is that you hate me and don’t want to live with me anymore.”
I roll my eyes. “You could be living with me still if you had joined the dang sorority like I begged you to.”
Lydia waves her hands in the air. “When are you gonna give up that horrible dream of me being a sorority girl?”
“Never!” I shout, stealing my pillow from her grasp and hitting her with it.
I jump up out of the bed so she can’t catch me, and hide behind my door that’s partly open. “Truce!”
She narrows her eyes at me and lifts her pointer finger in my direction. “Fine. As long as you hurry up and go get dressed. We have somewhere to be.”
I lower the pillow that was shielding me and look over at her, confused. “Where?”
She just turns, walking out of the room. “You’ll have to just get dressed and find out.”
She walks a little farther down the hall before I hear her footsteps stop. “And wear something cute!” she shouts before fully walking downstairs like this is her house.
* * *
We pull up to a park downtown, and Lydia parks at one of the meters.
I look over at her, confused. “Are we having some kind of girls’ day?”
She smiles as she unbuckles her seatbelt. “Yeah, sure. Something like that.”
I don’t get to ask anymore questions as she quickly gets out and stands in front of her car, looking in at me, waiting.
“Come on!” she says, impatiently.
I just shake my head and smile as I get out, feeling like I’m being set up here.
Lydia practically drags me down the walking path in a hurry to wherever she’s taking us.
“Why here?” I ask.
“Because,” she says, too cheerfully. “It’s pretty. Why not?”
I squint over at her, so not trusting her right now. “I know you’re setting me up here.”
She laughs. “No.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not—”
That’s when I see them.
Bash is standing next to a bench, smiling at Lydia when he sees her.
And then I see…Mason.
My body goes still, and every nerve feels on fire seeing him.
He looks up, and his eyes instantly lock on mine. He looks like he’s trying to keep a serious face, but wants to break as soon as he sees me.
He looks so…different. Not just physically, although he does look good. But now he also looks…healthier, more full of life, like I can see this new strength in him, even from this far away. He looks so similar to the version of him I first met, but now even better.
My heart drops into my stomach like I’m on a rollercoaster.
Lydia runs toward Bash like she hasn’t seen him in years, and leaps into his arms, kissing him.
My feet won’t move. I just stand there, stuck. Mason takes a step toward me slowly. Like he’s not sure if I’ll bolt.
“Simone,” he says.
His voice is softer than I remember. Still velvety and smooth in a way I’d never forget the sound of, though.
I swallow, throat tight. “Hi.”
He nods and smiles a little. “Hi.”
Lydia and Bash are off to the side now, talking quietly, giving us space like this isn’t the most insane ambush. I glance at Lydia like I’ve been betrayed, and she just gives me a look that says, Please don’t kill me. Then I look back at Mason, who’s already looking at me, taking me in.
“You look…so beautiful,” he says quietly.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
We just stand there staring at each other awkwardly for a moment. Just two people who used to fit so perfectly together, now unsure where to put their feelings and words with each other.
“Why are you here?” I ask, still trying to wrap my head around him being in my city.
“I…wanted to talk.”
“Was the flight easier than a phone call?”
He smirks at that, but tries to bite it back as he takes another step closer to me.
“I wanted to see you…needed to see you.”
“Well,” I say awkwardly. “Here I am.”
The way he’s looking at me makes me want to melt on the spot.
I hate how easily I’m affected by him. How my heart wants to run to him when my brain is still scared to.
“Can…can I hug you?”
I just nod.
He walks over to me, closing the rest of the space between us and wrapping me in a hug.
I feel my traitorous body relax into it, and my arms move on their own around him, hugging him back.
He smells like…him. But it’s different. It’s missing something.
It’s not until he looks down at me that I realize I don’t smell…
any alcohol. I smile to myself and file that away, not needing to ask right now, not wanting to pop any possible bubble of happiness my heart is living in.
“Can we go…maybe sit down somewhere, and…talk?”
“Yeah,” I whisper, looking back at Bash and Lydia, who are just standing there watching us like two embarrassing parents.
We walk over to a bench out of sight from Bash and Lydia’s nosy asses to get some privacy.
“How have you been?” Mason asks, sitting down next to me.
I feel stupid for how happy I feel being around him again. I’m also scared to feel happy. I know it’s always temporary when it comes to him.
“I’m…” I want to lie and say I’ve been good, but…I can’t. “Pretty miserable, honestly.”
He lets out a dry laugh. “That makes two of us.”
Hearing him say that should make me feel vindicated. Like, good. Now you know what it feels like. But instead, it just makes something in my chest ache. Because I don’t want him to be miserable. I never did.
I slide my hair behind my ear, trying to play off my nerves and the way my palms are sweating. “How are you doing?” I ask carefully.
Mason looks up at me slowly. It’s obviously a loaded question, and we both know it.
“I’m…” he starts, then stops. It looks like he fights to just give me an easy lie, and then decides not to. “I’m trying.”
“Trying how?”
His eyes flick up to mine, and he almost looks….nervous. Mason Sinclair is a lot of things, but nervous is normally never one of them.
It pulls at my heartstrings.
“I’ve been staying with Bash.”
“I heard,” I tell him.
“How much have you heard?” he asks softly, like he’s a little embarrassed that I know.
“I heard what happened with your dad. I even heard that you changed your major.”
He nods. “I did…”
“To?”
He locks his eyes on mine, giving me a knowing smirk. “What do you think?”
I can’t help but smile back at him, feeling proud. “So, you’re really gonna do it?”
“Yeah,” he says quietly, almost more to himself.
“How are your brothers?”
I watch as his face lights up with joy anytime they’re mentioned. “They’re good. I call them just about every day, and I’ve been saving up from my job to go see them by the end of summer.”
“You have a job?”
He looks offended but still smiles. “Yes, I have a job.”
“You gotta work with the common folk now?” I tease, feeling lighter with him suddenly, like we’re right back in our old rhythm together.
“I’ve always been the common folk,” he teases back. “I’ve never fit in with the stuck-up rich pricks.”
“No,” I tell him. “No, you haven’t.”
“I’m…I’m doing an outpatient program back in San Antonio,” he throws out, shocking me.
“You…are?”
He nods.
“How is that going?” I ask, cautiously.
“It’s going really well. I haven’t touched anything in over two months. And I know it’s not the longest I’ve gone, but…it’s the longest I’ve gone without every day being a battle I felt like I couldn’t win, just waiting for the day I failed.”
This warmth fills me, so happy for the boy who has always deserved to feel at peace in his own head.
“That’s amazing, Mason.”
“Thank you. But…” He rubs the back of his neck like he’s trying to get the courage to say more.
“I didn’t come here to just catch up and tell you how I was trying to fix the shit show my life is.
” I watch him watching me like he’s trying to find the best way to say whatever it is he needs to say.
“I came because I needed to look you in the face when I told you the truth.”
My heart stutters.
For a moment, I’m scared, like he’s about to admit something to me that will break my heart completely. But then he smiles. It’s small, but it feels safe. Not like he’s about to hurt me.
“Simone Nova Edwards,” he starts.
I slap a hand over my mouth, trying not to laugh at myself.
“Are you about to propose to me?” I ask dramatically.
“No.” He shakes his head, trying not to laugh himself before continuing. “I’m trying to tell you that I love you.”
My mouth drops.
All I can do is stare at him. “What did you just say?”
“I said, I’m so in love with you, Simone, that I can’t think straight anymore. Every thought is consumed by you. Everything I thought I wanted in life has shifted to just you.”
I don’t know what to say. I’m actually speechless, just sitting there staring at him, shocked.
Simone! Get it together.
“I—I love you too,” I blurt out.
He smiles. It’s the most genuine and sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. “You do?”
I nod.
Then I let reality sink back in.
“Loving you scares me, though.”
He reaches out to take my hand, and I let him, craving the contact.
“Why?”
“Because…I’m scared of the future. I’m scared of being hurt. I’m scared of you not loving yourself enough to know how to love me in a way that doesn’t drown the both of us. I’m scared…that I won’t ever be the only one you choose.”