61. Simone #3
It feels like someone hit pause on time. He just looks at me like he’s trying to both take in those words while also wanting to reject them.
“What?”
My eyes fill instantly. “I was pregnant a few months back,” I repeat, voice cracking. “And I…I miscarried.”
Mason doesn’t move.
He just stares at me like he got punched.
“Simone…” he says, barely getting my name out.
“I didn’t know until it was already happening, and it got bad, really fast. I had to go to the hospital, and I had to have a D he sees it as something that was real, something that came from us—from whatever kind of love we thought we had back then.
“We made a baby,” he says, swallowing hard but still giving me a sad, soft smile, tears falling now, and he doesn’t even try to hide them. “We have a baby up in heaven.”
I freeze, and my heart stutters at his words. Because I haven’t let myself think about it like that. I haven’t let myself imagine it as anything but loss. As something that ended.
“I…I never really thought about the baby still…existing.” I stare at him through the tears. “You really think she or he is up there?” My voice is small, but I don’t care, just needing him to tell me that’s true. “Waiting for us?”
Mason nods, eyes shining. “Yeah,” he says quietly, like it’s the simplest truth in the world. “Yeah, I do.” And then he says, softer, “They’re probably already causing a lot of trouble up there.”
A laugh slips out of me before I can stop it. It’s small. Wet. Embarrassing. But it’s real.
Mason’s mouth curves into the saddest smile, and his eyes crumple.
I just stare at him, and my voice comes out softer than I expect. “I’m so proud of who you’re becoming.”
His face fills with emotions.
“I’m in awe of you,” I add, because I need him to know that too.
He looks at me and blinks back the new tears I see him fighting back. Then he leans in and kisses me.
I feel like I’m kissing him for the first time all over again.
Every butterfly swarming to life in my stomach.
When he threads his fingers through my hair, pulling me closer, I let go of all the fear and insecurities I’ve ever had in this moment.
The little girl who always just wanted to be loved and looked at like the perfect version of herself that she tried to achieve but never could…
finally feels found. She finally feels at peace.
She finally realizes that her worth doesn’t come from anyone else.
It comes from God. And he gave it to her the day she was born.
Now she gets to decide who she allows to experience that worth with her. And she chooses Mason.
When he pulls back, he stays close, staring at me. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. “Inside and out.”
“We’re not just friends anymore, are we?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Far from it. I don’t think you’ve ever just been a friend to me.”
“Are we in love?” I ask, scrunching up my nose teasingly.
Mason’s eyes soften, and he doesn’t hesitate. “I’ve been in love with you since the day we met, even if my brain couldn’t recognize what my heart was feeling yet.”
It feels like my heart flutters at that admission, and I smile at him.
“What are we going to do about that?” I whisper.
He exhales a little laugh. “I’m gonna start going to therapy so I can learn to love you the way you deserve.”
I blink. “You are?”
He nods. “Yeah.”
“And by therapist, you don’t mean just talking to Bash, right?” I ask, trying to lighten it because my heart feels too full.
He laughs. “No. A real therapist who won’t bully me and laugh when I cry.”
I smile through tears. I don’t really know what I expected to feel when I finally knew I had met my person, but none of the fantasies created in my head could ever come close to what I feel in this moment.
I feel chosen. I feel safe. I feel like I’m turning the page in my life to a new chapter—one where pain and confusion don’t have to automatically come with love. And one where someone else’s infatuation and obsession with me isn’t what proves that I’m enough.
I just…am.
I’m enough.