Chapter 17
Seventeen
Denise
The sun is way too fucking bright for my liking. The courtyard is unnecessarily packed for no other reason than to piss me off.
Sarah and Bethany’s attention turn toward me once I’m close to the picnic table they’re sitting on.
“You look like shit,” Sarah greets.
Bethany slaps Sarah’s arm with her notebook, not bothering to be gentle.
I don’t bother to entertain any of it, instead flipping Sarah off and plopping my tired ass down onto the metal bench. Bethany is quick to offer me her cup of coffee and I chug the iced beverage down, hoping the quicker I get it in me, the sooner the caffeine will take effect.
I didn’t even bother to try and get some sleep after leaving Lucas’s apartment this morning. My body was still buzzing from the adrenaline and guilt flooding my senses. I just spent my time before classes lying down on my couch, staring up at the ceiling.
“You get mugged on the way here or something, D?” Sarah opens her mouth yet again.
“Sarah?” Bethany narrows her eyes at the brunette. “Shut up.”
I look down at my all too big shirt that’s strictly for sleeping and my sweats that are a size too big but decided to keep because of how soft they are.
I brush away loose strands of hair that fell out of my ponytail and rub my eyes, knowing there’s dark circles, but not having bothered to put on any makeup before leaving the house.
This really is a new low for me.
“So…” Bethany clears her throat. “Lucas was looking for you last night.”
Sarah snorts. “All Lucas had to do was bribe Beth with Moose’s phone number and she folded.”
“You know if he was a kidnapper or some shit, I’m pretty sure he would’ve done something by now, so I think Denise is good.” Bethany tries to reason her way out of giving away my location to a guy.
“Guess you’re right,” Sarah laughs. “I’m starting to think Lucas is the only good guy in this stupid city.”
I rub my eyes and groan, my head tilting back. “Will you two shut up? I get it, okay? Lucas Callahan is perfect. That doesn’t mean we need to talk about him every five seconds.”
They both quickly shut up, the air around us growing quiet besides the light chatter from students nearby.
Sarah’s eyes narrow and the muffin she’s been picking at is long forgotten. “What’d the asshole do?”
Any other time I’d be happy to know that Sarah and Bethany are quick to be on my side, but right now I can’t stomach that kind of loyalty.
I shake my head. “I’m the asshole.”
The two quickly look at each other and then back to me, eyes wide. Sarah opens her mouth to say something but I hold my finger up, a silent command to keep her mouth shut.
“Look, I don’t want to talk about it, okay? I just want to sit here and drink this god-awful coffee and not talk about guys.”
Bethany perks up. “Does Moose count?”
“Yes,” I say, deadpan.
“Alright, fine.” She rolls her eyes. “But I claim my right to talk about him all I want after our date this Friday.”
Sarah laughs. “Hey, as long as you give me the juicy details, I’m all for it.”
Sarah and Bethany’s voices slowly start to fade out and suddenly I’m not in the conversation at all. My attention lands on a girl and a guy laughing nearby instead.
She’s holding a phone in her hands, pointing at something on the screen.
“River,” she tries to scold but it comes out more like a laugh. “I told you not to get my bad side.”
I recognize the girl as Summer Ingram-Ruiz. Not only because of her dark brown skin and long black hair, but because she offered to kick some guy’s ass at a party who had been following me around all night.
No matter how many times I told the guy to fuck off, he kept trying to shoot his shot until Summer literally walked up to us, asked if I knew the guy, and when I said I didn’t, she kneed him in the balls.
She admitted to seeing him harassing me all night and I couldn’t help but laugh at how she had no problem with physically assaulting a guy for a stranger. Granted, I probably would’ve done the same thing but I was a little too drunk for my own good that night.
The guy she’s standing next to—River—takes the phone from her hands, dramatically looking back and forth between her and the phone.
“Yeah no, I don’t think you have a bad side, Summer.”
She rolls her eyes, taking the phone back and scrolling. “I can’t post any of these, you dimwit.” She groans. “Where’s Lily when you need her?”
I watch them continue to laugh and call each other names and even when I realize that I don’t even know whether the two are dating or just friends, I don’t seem to care about whatever label they have.
I just find myself becoming jealous of how close they seem. How comfortable they exist around each other.
The ease of it all.
I feel like I let myself have that with Lucas for a short amount of time before I went ahead and fucked everything up for the both of us.
No. This is how it’s supposed to be.
Me alone and Lucas off doing his own thing, not being dragged down by my own shit I’ve got going on. This will get easier. It has to but even if it doesn’t, this is how it has to be.