Chapter Seventeen Drea
As I sat in front of the lighted mirror, my mother’s stylist used a scorching hot curling wand on my hair. She’d only just finished with my makeup. Like my mother, the stylist knew little about who I really was. I wasn’t one for big, flowing hair or intense makeup.
I knew it wouldn’t do any good to complain. My mother had a vision of what I was supposed to look like, and after everything I’d put her through with my pregnancy, she didn’t have any sympathy for me.
For my parents, tonight was just as important as my wedding day tomorrow. Since he claimed I had been denied an engagement party because of Rafe’s nonsense, Father insisted on the rehearsal dinner being more festive than usual with a band and a six-course meal.
He didn’t give a shit about me–it was just an excuse to show his wealth. Not that he wouldn’t be doing that at our wedding tomorrow.
My dress was Grecian in style, made of white chiffon. It hit just below my knees. I hadn’t even picked it out–a designer had sent it for me to wear. I’d barely cared about my wedding dress, least of all this one.
As much as I dreaded the party tonight, I dreaded seeing Leo more. It was agony to be around him and not being with him. I didn’t know how I was going to avoid him in the future. Since he and Rafe lived in the same building, maybe I could ask Rafe to buy us a new place for a fresh start.
I didn’t think it could get any worse until Rafe suggested that Leo walk me down the aisle at the rehearsal. It was like being so close to your dream you could reach out and touch it, yet having it painfully yanked from you.
At the knock on the door, I jumped, knocking the wand into my neck. I shrieked with the sudden pain. “Oh, Ms. Caruso, I’m so, so sorry!” the stylist apologized with a horrified expression.
“It’s okay. It was my fault.”
Her eyes remained wide with fear. “But it’ll probably leave a mark.”
“Then you can throw some concealer on it.”
While she remained unconvinced, I called, “Come in.”
When Vittoria entered the room, I waved the stylist away. “Leave us, please.”
“Yes, Ms. Caruso,” she said. She didn’t stop to clean up. Instead, she hurried past Vittoria and out the door. I’m sure she’d spend the rest of the night fearing I was going to have her fired…or worse.
When I turned around, tears shimmered in Vittoria’s eyes. “You look like an angel.”
“Thanks. But don’t you think I should be wearing red or black to highlight my fallen angel status?”
“You and that mouth,” she chided.
“We both know it’s the truth.”
Ignoring my comment, Vittoria closed the gap between us. Her anxious gaze bounced around the room.
“What’s wrong?” I demanded.
“I got something for your honeymoon.”
I groaned. “Please tell me it isn’t lingerie.”
With a look of disgust, she replied, “Of course not.”
“Thank God.”
After one final glance around the room, she opened her palm and held it out for me. I curiously eyed a blue bottle with clear liquid. “It’s a sedative,” Vittoria said.
“So I don’t have to endure sex with Rafe?”
“It’s not for you. It’s for him.”
My eyes bulged. “You want me to drug him?”
“I know it seems excessive, but you have to be practical.”
“Isn’t deceiving him about the baby enough?”
Vittoria grabbed my hands in hers. “Think, Drea. Rafe’s coming off a life-altering loss.
If he’s the type of man I imagine he is, the last thing he’s going to want is to consummate your marriage tomorrow night.
It could be months before he’s forced to do his duty.
” She shook her head. “You don’t have that time. ”
“You want me to…” Now it was my time to glance around the room. Lowering my voice, I hissed, “Rape him?”
Barking out a laugh, Vittoria shook her head. “Sometimes I forget how young and naive you really are.”
Then it hit me. “Oh, you want me to pretend we did the deed.”
She nodded. “Strip him down, ruffle the sheets–anything to make it look like the two of you had sex.
At the thought of one more sin on my soul, I moaned, “I’m going to spend the next year at daily mass, aren’t I?”
With a rueful smile, Vittoria replied, “It can’t hurt. You certainly can’t risk going to confession.”
“I guess there’s some small mercies in all of this,” I teased.
Vittoria playfully popped my ass. “Don’t you joke about confession.”
When my door flew open, I shoved the hand with the bottle in it behind my back. Flicking her wrist at me, Mother said, “It’s time.”
“Before you go, let me check your ring,” Vittoria said.
While I knew not to question her, Mother huffed from the doorway. “Whatever for?”
“I cleaned it earlier, and I want to make sure there isn’t any leftover residue.”
“Fine.”
When I brought my hand from behind my back, I slipped the bottle back into Vittoria’s hand. Bending her head, she pretended to examine the ring. “I’ll put this in your makeup bag,” she whispered.
“Thanks,” I replied before leaving her to join Mother.
After following her downstairs, we headed out of one of the back doors onto the patio.
I gasped at the sight before me. Our garden had been truly transformed.
As you walked through the lighted floral archway, fire performers twirled batons and lit bullwhips giving a carnival theme.
It didn’t hurt that there was a ferris wheel and carousel, which all the children and teenagers were riding.
After descending the marble stairs, you left the over-the-top element to enter classic elegance.
Besides the tables with white linen table cloths, silver flatware, and crystal, folk dancers performed beside life-sized ice sculptures with a backdrop of shimmering fairy lights.
Couples swayed to the music of a full band while others danced on an enormous black and white checkered makeshift dance floor.
While I remained silent at her side, Mother spoke to every guest. After slinging her arm through mine, she leaned over to hiss in my ear. “Put a fucking smile on your face, Andrea!”
Too defeated to defy her, I placed a smile on my face. By the time I made it through the crowd to the bridal party table, my face hurt. Rafe stood stoically in front of the groom’s chair.
As he held out the chair for me, Rafe said, “You look beautiful, Drea.”
“And you look even more heartbroken tonight than you did earlier,” I replied.
Rafe forced a smile to his face as he collapsed into his chair. “I’m sorry I let my mask slip. I’ll do better.”
“You don’t have to act for me.”
Taking my hand in his, Rafe brought it to his lips. “I seriously don’t deserve you.”
“We’ll get through this together,” I said genuinely.
A glass slammed down on the table next to Rafe. When I jerked my gaze up, Leo glared down at the sight of my hand in Rafe’s. “Aren’t you two cozy?” he remarked before jerking his chair out.
Although heat warmed my cheeks, Rafe only chuckled. “Sounds like I’m already doing a better job pretending.”
A nervous laugh trilled from my lips. “We’re both going to get an Oscar for pretending.” At the mention of pretending, I looked directly at Leo.
He caught my meaning because his body language relaxed. “Yeah, you two totally had me fooled.”
The waiters began serving dinner then. Although I didn’t have an appetite, I knew I needed to try to eat something for the baby. Guilt flooded me at how little I’d been thinking of it today. Maybe it was because it was so early, so I didn’t feel or look pregnant.
But I was.
And tomorrow night I was going to drug Rafe’s drink and pretend that we fucked. It would be the first of many lies I would tell him.
The waiter held out two plates to me. “Steak or salmon?”
Immediately, my mind went to the night Leo and I had cooked. As a glutton for punishment, my gaze tore across Rafe to stare at Leo. “I’ll have the salmon,” he replied as he caught my eye.
“Ms. Caruso?” the waiter prompted.
Leo continued to hold my gaze. There was almost an unspoken dare in them. As if my choice of protein meant something more.
Refusing to break the stare, I replied, “Salmon.”
Rafe wrinkled his nose. “I should probably tell you now that I hate fish.”
“You do?”
He nodded as he cut into his steak. “I seriously can’t stand the smell. If you’d like our cook to prepare it, I can always grab dinner out on those nights.”
Glancing at my plate, I said, “I can send it back.”
Rafe shook his head with a smile. “While you might be kind enough–” He jabbed Leo in the ribs. “This jackass won’t.”
With a smirk, Leo shoved the salmon in his mouth. “Mmm, delicious.”
Rafe chuckled at Leo. “Ass.”
I turned my attention away from the Neretti brothers and listened in on Bianca’s conversation with our other cousin, Lucia. Despite the lack of hunger, I managed to clean my plate of protein, which I knew was important from reading an online pregnancy book on a burner phone.
When I reached for my water glass, I bumped Rafe’s hand, causing him to wince. “Are you okay?”
“It’s nothing.”
Leaning over, there was a clear band-aid on his hand. “Seriously, Rafe, what happened?”
“I drank too much last night, and I ended up needing an IV to flush it out.”
“Jesus,” I muttered.
“It’s nothing.”
Leo’s earlier comment about Rafe keeping the Scotch companies in business echoed through my mind. “I don’t want to sound like a nag, but I’m worried about you.”
“Please don’t waste your energy on me.”
Shaking my head, I countered, “You’re going to be my husband.”
“Don’t remind me,” he muttered.
At the sound of a chair screeching back, my gaze bounced from Rafe to where Leo was walking away. He headed into the crowd of tables.
Before I could see where he went, Father appeared. When he held out his hand to me, I fought to keep the salmon and vegetables down. “Tomorrow night, the bride and groom will have the first dance. Tonight, let us.”
Feeling the eyes of everyone on me, I gave Father a beaming smile before letting him ease me out of my chair. After walking around the bridal party table, we stepped out onto the dance floor.
As we swayed to the music, I peered over Father’s shoulder to the table I’d just abandoned. Rafe sat alone, staring into space with his lips turned down in a frown. I suppose he thought that with everyone’s attention on Father and me, he could let his mask slip.
My heart clenched at his expression. Seeing his visible pain coupled with the extent of his drinking devastated me. At the thought of everything I was going to do to him, I shuddered.
“That’s it. I can’t do this anymore.”
“Just keep dancing. It’ll be over soon,” Father said through gritted teeth.
“I’m talking about deceiving Rafe.”
Father’s smile froze in place. “Keep your fucking voice down,” he hissed.
“I’m serious. He’s been through too much losing Maeve. He’s a shell of the man I signed the martial contract with. Lying about his heir…” I pinched my eyes shut in pain. “It would kill him.”
“After the way he disrespected me, and in turn you, he deserves it.”
“He’s at his wit’s end, Father. And what about when he said it wouldn’t end well if I bore a child that wasn’t his?” I countered.
A cruel smirk curved on Father’s lips. “After seeing what I’m capable of, he wouldn’t dare harm a hair on your head. He’ll be toeing the line for years out of fear I might hurt Maeve.”
“How can you be so cruel?”
Father rolled his eyes. “Look, I told you before there was only one way you’d be allowed to keep this baby. If you go against my bargain, your child will die.”
I knew he’d banked on his statement frightening me into submission. But the truth was I’d prepared for it.
As tears threatened to overspill my eyes, I jerked my chin up in defiance. “If that’s the sacrifice I have to make to ensure Rafe isn’t deceived, then I’ll do it.”
Father bent over to where his mouth rested over my ear. “You naive little cunt. Do you actually think you can play my game?”
“Maybe I’m my father’s daughter,” I countered.
“You can’t begin to imagine what I have in my arsenal. Or perhaps I should say who.”
Jerking back, I stared in horror at him. “You’d actually threaten me with the twins–your own flesh and blood.”
“There’s someone else you love just as much as them.”
Vittoria.
My glance flicked across the dance floor to where she was dancing with Adamo.
“You have my word,” I whispered.
Although I tried tearing myself away from him, Father kept me firmly in place. “Not until the song ends,” he commanded.
Gritting my teeth, I fought the urge to scream. I tried imagining what would happen if I did. If I just threw my head back and screamed and screamed until my throat was raw.
It was almost worth the repercussions Father would take to imagine his reaction. To see him publicly humiliated by his daughter in front of his elaborate sham of a party.
But I didn’t.
I didn’t for Vittoria’s sake. And the twins.
Instead, I disassociated from myself. I thought about a brownstone in New York. My sketchpad. Immortalizing Leo in art.
I was so immersed in that fantasy that I didn’t even realize the song had ended. It was Father releasing me that brought me back to the present.
Without a word to him, I whirled around and began my escape. I didn’t run away. I merely walked steadily. I did nothing that would bring attention to my pain. I spoke to people. I smiled.
It was only at the edge of the tent and when the guests were safely behind me, that I began to run.
And to cry.