Chapter Twenty-One Drea
After snuggling with Audrianna, I finally fell into a deep sleep. Of course, it wasn’t for long since everyone from the stylist to my bridesmaids started busting in shortly after dawn. We were on a tight schedule with the ceremony at eleven.
Like a ragdoll, I allowed everyone to poke and prod me as they did my makeup and my hair and then wrangled me into my enormous dress. Although everyone chattered around me, I remained silent and stoic.
We had a long escort of SUVs to take the wedding party to the church. My poofy princess dress and I got crammed into a Rolls Royce along with Father. For once, he actually gave me a somewhat paternal look of pride.
“You’re quite stunning today, Andrea,” he remarked as we pulled into traffic.
For the first time that I could remember, I didn’t have a smart ass remark for him. Instead, I replied, “Thank you, Father.”
A cruel smirk curved on his lips before he leaned over to whisper in my ear. “I suppose it’s true what they say about pregnant women having a glow about them.”
When I jerked away from him, he chuckled. “Speaking of, I assume you’re prepared to perform your marital duty no matter what?”
Refusing to look at him, I replied, “I am.”
Father jerked my chin to where I had to face him. “I mean it, Drea. There can be no doubt in Raphael’s mind that from the start of your marriage, he’s the only one who has had you.”
Once again, I bit my tongue from replying that Rafe already knew I wasn’t a virgin. “Trust me. I get it.”
Father stared at me a few more moments before nodding his head. “Good.”
Thankfully, he eased back in his seat and didn’t speak to me again until we arrived at the church. Two attendants stood waiting to help me out of the car. They then rushed around fluffing my dress and adjusting my veil.
Once I was pronounced perfect, we started in the church. After entering the atrium, I feared lightning streaking from the sky to knock me dead. After all, I was sin walking. A liar. A fornicator. A deceiver in the bonds of holy matrimony.
And the biggest one of all: unwed and pregnant.
At least that’s how my father and his cronies would’ve seen me. The hypocrisy wasn’t lost on me that they could hold their heads up considering the innocent blood they’d spilled along with the not-so-innocent.
But that wasn’t my faith.
My faith was love and forgiveness–the very emotions my earthly father was incapable of ever giving me.
Once the wedding party was assembled, the massive organ struck the opening notes of Canon in D.
Of the ten bridesmaids wearing slate blue dresses and carrying oversized bouquets of wildflowers, I only truly cared for Bianca and Audrianna.
Most of them were either cousins or the daughters of high-ranking members of the Caruso regime.
The music came to an end, and the wedding coordinator waved me forward. After reluctantly slipping my arm through Father’s, we took our place to walk down the aisle. With the strains of Here Comes the Bride echoing through me, I forced myself to put one foot in front of the other.
Physically, my steps along the marble felt like sloughing through mud.
Emotionally, it was more torturous than I’d ever imagined.
Since signing the marriage contract, I’d envisioned this moment.
The final act of binding myself to Rafe in holy matrimony was always going to be hard.
But having the man that I loved standing next to him while I did it was impossible.
The closer I drew to the altar, the harder it was not to look at my feet. I knew seeing Leo would be my undoing.
When we reached the altar, I finally dared to sweep my focus from the floor. But the moment I locked eyes with Leo, my heart dropped. He was so very handsome in his tux. I wanted nothing more than to sidestep Rafe and go to him.
“You may be seated,” the priest instructed.
After the crowd sat down, the priest smiled at Rafe and me. As he began the ceremony, I desperately tried focusing on his face so I wouldn’t try to look at Leo. I couldn’t even give attention to my groom because there was a chance I would also see Leo.
“Raphael and Andrea, have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?” the priest asked.
Seriously? This was a question I had to answer? Since the Father hadn’t read the vows yesterday, I sure as hell wasn’t prepared.
A marriage without coercion.
Was there a mafia bride alive who actually answered that question honestly and truthfully? I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
I wanted to shake my head in defiance.
I wanted to tell the priest and the congregation how this entire marriage was very much against my will.
Instead, I thought of my baby and Vittoria. I thought of all the mafia daughters forced against their will. Dutifully, I replied, “I have.”
And then Rafe echoed, “I have.”
Nodding, the priest asked, “Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?”
My chest clenched tightly at the reference to love. More than anything in the world, I hoped I would come to love Rafe like I did my brothers, especially Adamo. But how could there ever be more than brotherly love between us when I loved his brother?
Beside me, I knew the same sentiment was echoing through Rafe’s mind. He could love and honor Maeve, but it would be different with me.
“I am,” we echoed in a resigned tone.
“Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?”
His question, along with the child already in my belly, sent the room spinning slightly. When I grew lightheaded and swayed on my feet, Rafe’s hand came out to steady me.
The reassuring look in his eyes made me think he believed I’d faltered at the idea of what producing children entailed.
If only he knew….
After giving him a grateful look, I turned my attention back to the priest. “I am.”
“I am,” Rafe answered.
“Since it is your intention to enter the covenant of Holy Matrimony, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.”
After we joined hands, the priest turned his attention to Rafe. “Repeat after me. I, Raphael Alessio Neretti, take you, Andrea Cecilia Caruso, to be my wife. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.”
When Rafe didn’t respond, I peeked up at him. His unfocused eyes stared into nothingness. After squeezing his hands, Rafe snapped out of his stupor with a shake of his head. “I’m sorry. What?”
The priest gave him a funny look. “I said repeat after me. I, Raphael Alessio Neretti, take you, Andrea Cecilia Caruso, to be my wife. I promise to–”
“No.”
Every molecule in my body shuddered to a stop at Rafe’s proclamation. Was he actually doing what I thought he was doing? Was he about to stop the ceremony?
As gasps and murmurs rang through the crowd, the priest’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”
With an apologetic smile, Rafe said, “I’m so sorry, but I can’t marry you.”
Oh God, I was right. Relief like I’d never known washed over me. It was so intense I once again swayed on my feet. But it didn’t stop me from answering, “It’s okay.”
But it was more than just okay. It was glorious and amazing and life-altering. My joy was cut short when a growl erupted behind us. “It’s certainly not okay!” Father shouted.
As Raphael and I whirled around to face him, Father sprang from his seat. With a menacing expression, he demanded, “Did I not make myself clear before about what would happen if you backed out of this wedding, or would you like to have every single Neretti business go up in smoke?”
“Yes, you did. But I can’t do this. It’s not fair to Andrea or myself.”
“You vigliacco bastardo!” Father screeched.
Raphael held his hands up. “I’ll find a way to make this insult up to you.”
“You’ve made a fool out of me in front of my family and friends. There is no way to make up this insult except through a marital alliance.”
Shaking his head, Rafe replied, “I won’t do it.”
“I didn’t want it to have to be this way, but you’ve forced my hand.”
At that moment, Father reached into his suit pocket. My heart shuddered to a stop in shock and horror as he jerked out a gun and pointed it at Rafe.