Chapter 51 We Did It, Baby
we did it, baby
Rowan
“Dubs.” I slam Mom’s van keys into his chest. “You’re taking Mom and Bri back to Hannah’s tonight.”
“Say please.”
Hannah snorts a laugh at my side, but I refuse to coalesce to the evil grin on his face.
“Say please, Shaw. ‘Please, will you take my family to Hannah’s house so I can have super secret sexy time with my girlfriend alone at my lake house.’ Say it, Rowan. I know you know how.”
I blink and grit out, “Please.”
“Please what?” He circles a hand, prodding me to go on.
“Oh fuck off.” I turn with Hannah toward the exit. “You know where the spare key is.”
My heart still skitters at the term girlfriend when she tags on, “Send us a pin if you get lost on the way to put it back.”
Dubs clutches the keys over his sternum, squares his shoulders. “Leave no man behind.”
“Might wanna grab a flashlight too, the journey could be dark,” she muses.
“Nah,” Dubs says, “the floodlight we installed this afternoon should light my way.”
Hannah guffaws, punches my arm. “Rowan Shaw!”
“Welp, we’re leaving,” I announce, dragging her behind me, feigning deafness as she protests my latest home upgrade. It makes her home safer, end of story.
“Don’t forget to wrap it up, kids!” Dubs shouts across the room, effectively signing his own death certificate. Hannah’s face is on fire. I throw a middle finger over my shoulder before the ballroom door closes behind us.
“I gotta make a stop on the way,” I say as I back out of the parking spot. Her curious eyes catch mine when I shift the car into drive. “Dubs may be a pain in my ass, but he reminded me I don’t have any condoms.”
Her brows pinch as she looks away.
We come to a stoplight and I maneuver into the turn lane. My hand finds her leg across the console. “Hey, if you’ve changed your mind, that’s okay.”
“No,” she rushes out, fingers twisting in the material of her skirt distractedly. “It’s not that. I just…um…well, I’m on birth control and I got tested after my last relationship. Everything was clear so…”
Blood pulses in my ears to the tune of the click, clack of the car’s blinker.
We’ve never talked about past relationships because, frankly, I don’t care who or how many came before me as long as she’s mine now.
But her ability to trust me like this does something to my heart that has my next words spilling out before I can stop them.
“I haven’t been with anyone since I met you.”
Click, clack. Click, clack.
She swallows. “Why?”
I take in a long breath, bracing for my confession. “Because it felt wrong to sleep with someone when I couldn’t stop thinking about someone else. I thought the feelings would pass with time because I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, but…they never stopped, Hannah.”
Click, clack. Click, clack.
A sad smile lifts her cheeks as she leans over, kisses me once. “I haven’t been with anyone since I met you either.”
The words are barely out before I yank her lips back to mine. She works a hand through the open collar of my shirt and squeezes my neck. My hand on her knee slides higher, her hips shifting in a silent plea.
Five years.
Her voice is all gravel, hot against my mouth when she says, “We just made things so much worse.”
Yeah, we did.
Neither of us slow down. Hannah leans in deeper, harder. I pull her closer, hand creeping up her inner thigh. She moans as our tongues tangle, bodies pressing in across the console.
A horn blasts behind us and I peel myself away, panting like I’ve just run a marathon.
“No stops,” she breathes, legs clenched as she rights herself in her seat. “Just drive.”
We stumble inside the cabin, a hurricane of lips and teeth. Hannah presses me against the open door. Her shoes clatter across the floor, my jacket is ripped away a second later. I urge her back until her spine hits the doorframe with a thud.
Feet straddling the threshold to the house, I coax her dress to the side, hoist her thigh around my waist. She frees the buttons of my shirt in a frenzy until it’s gone entirely.
I slide a hand up her leg, finding a scrap of lace, damp and warm.
“Rowan, please.” She reaches for my pants, but I grab her hand and sweep it over her head, tangling our fingers together.
“All night, baby,” I murmur, blazing a path down her neck with my tongue. I pinch the strap of her dress between my teeth, tugging until it falls down her free arm, her skin exposed to the single porch light perched on the cabin exterior behind her shoulder. “We’ve got all night.”
I claim the swell of her breast with my mouth as I make a pass with my knuckles over the material between her legs.
“My fingers first. Tongue second. Then this,” I emphasize with a press of my erection against her outer thigh. Got it?”
“Bossy,” she snickers.
Her husky laugh sputters into a cry when I fist the fabric of her thong and give it one sharp tug, the taut material dragging over her wet core. The lace stretches, rips at the seams until it lands at her feet in shreds.
Lips parted and chest heaving, I bury two fingers inside her. Her back bows off the doorjamb. I stroke my thumb over the knuckles of the hand above her head. “Look at me, Hannah.”
Bronze-green eyes drift open, pinching at the corners with every steady push of my fingers.
I hold her gaze, an unspoken request to make sure she’s okay.
She just smirks. Her climax barrels through her a moment later.
My name a prayer on her lips, I swallow the sound with a possessive kiss like I might be able to save the reverberations somewhere deep in my chest—recall them as an SOS when I’m a dozen states away and missing her so badly I can’t breathe.
I free my hands, pull her inside the house, and kick the door shut behind me.
“Now you come on my tongue,” I demand, dragging her zipper down as I lead her to the bedroom.
Her fingers work the button of my pants. “At least take these off. I want to feel you.”
I guide the dress off her shoulders until it lands in a puddle on the floor, leaving her in nothing but a strapless bra. Moonlight shines softly through the windows, barely illuminating the room. I move by feel alone over all the inches I’ve yet to touch. The rest of her I know by heart already.
My hand finds the clasp along her spine. I wait until her gaze finds mine. This is the last piece of her body she hasn’t shown me yet.
“I already said you could have all of me, soldier.” Her nose brushes mine, lips scant millimeters apart. “Take it already.”
I smile against her mouth, pinch the clasp open, and toss the bra aside. One breast cupped in each palm, I prop them up, relishing the feel of them for a moment before I flick one firm nipple with the tip of my tongue.
Her fingers rake through my hair as I alternate soft and rough kisses around her breasts. She takes every sensation I give her, begging for more through her breathy cries.
I drop to my knees, flatten a palm over her stomach pushing her back onto the bed. A leg thrown over each shoulder, I yank her forward so her ass hangs off the edge.
“Squeeze those thighs, sunshine.”
Her smooth skin bears down over my ears, hands fisting my hair when I dive in for a taste. Not just a taste—a feast. I collect every drop of her arousal into my mouth, groaning against the feel of her riding my face.
“Ahh, Rowan! You’re so good at tha—” Her words fracture when I skate my teeth over her apex at the same time I reach out and pinch one nipple between my thumb and forefinger.
She arches off the bed, closing in on her release.
“Gorgeous girl,” I praise. “You’re doing so good, baby.”
I flatten my tongue in one hard swipe from bottom to top, and Hannah shatters. Cries fill the dark room, thighs clench around my neck. I taste and I taste until she can’t take it anymore.
She yanks my head free, crashing my lips to hers as I lift her into the center of the bed.
I settle in the cradle of her legs, her fully naked body laid out beneath me.
It’s my goddamn heaven. I pump my hips once, rubbing against her center through my boxers, and I suck in a rush of air.
I peel my lips away, force my knees under me, dip my head to catch my breath.
Too good. It feels too good. “I’ll never last,” I pant.
Hannah shoves at my waistband. “We have all night, remember?”
Our gazes lock and the world seems to still. For long seconds, we stare at each other, eyes adjusting to the darkness. I see her. I’ve always seen her—every piece. And what I can’t see, I’ve committed to memory.
I brush the hair around the crown of her head and kiss her.
“Tell me something real,” she says in a voice as soft as the way my mouth moves over hers.
It’s supposed to be a confession, an admission of whatever you’re feeling most in the moment. Except, this time, it’s the one thing she told me not to say.
I find her hand on the mattress, interlocking our fingers. My pulse hammers, voice so tight the words feel like they’ve been carved straight off the heart in my chest. “I can’t.” A pause, her eyes lost in mine. “Can you?”
Her lips part and emotion swells over her face. She tries to blink it away, but a tear falls down her temple. I catch it with my thumb.
Hannah loves me. I’m as certain of that as I am about my love for her, and I didn’t need my best friend to tell me. When you find your person, you just…know.
But knowing doesn’t lessen the sting when she confirms it with a pained shake of her head and the words “I can’t.” It only makes it hurt more.
So I kiss her. Intentional and long and deep. I pause somewhere in the middle and mouth I love you against her lips. No voice behind it, but her breath quivers beneath the confession. Her fingers trace a lazy message over my spine in answer, one letter at a time: i-l-o-v-e-y-o-u.
Then I’m pushing my boxers off the rest of the way, mouthing the words again and again. Her neck, the shell of her ear, the valley between her breasts, her navel, her hip bone, and back to her lips once more as I slide slowly inside her.