Chapter 51
When the town’s assistant chief of police accompanied you—in full uniform, no less—you could go anywhere you wanted in Mount Laurel.
Even traipse around Mount Laurel General Hospital after visiting hours.
It came in handy, that uniform.
But now that they were there—her in the Ladies Room near the Registration Desk, him waiting in the hall—Tabitha was no longer certain she wanted to do this.
Was no longer certain she was strong enough to be face-to-face with her mother again.
There was a knock on the restroom door followed by Miles’s quiet voice. “You okay?”
“Fine,” she called, her voice only slightly unsteady. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
She washed her hands then dried them on a paper towel. She’d turned her shirt right side out in Miles’s car on the way to The Cockeyed Chameleon and redid her ponytail, but hadn’t realized how badly her mascara had smudged or how red and puffy her eyes still were from crying.
Rubbing a wet paper towel over her eyes made them redder and puffier but less raccoon-like.
At this point in such a horrendous day, she’d take whatever win she could get.
After tossing the paper towel into the trash, she opened the restroom door. Miles stood a few feet away, watchful gaze taking her in. Despite it being close to eleven p.m. and him working an all-nighter last night plus an extra shift only hours later, there was no leaning against the wall, no slumping of the shoulders for Miles Jennings.
He was all perfect posture and on high alert, assessing everything and everyone around them. Ready to protect and serve.
Ready to weather her storms with her.
Without thinking, without wondering if she was making a mistake, without worrying if she was giving too much away, she closed the distance between them, laid her hands on his shoulders for balance as she rose onto her toes and kissed his cheek.
It wasn’t nearly as difficult as she’d thought it would be. Following her heart. Letting it guide her.
Or maybe it was just easy with Miles.
His hands settled on her waist. “What was that for?” he asked, low and gruff.
“It’s to thank you. Thank you for being here with me. For going with me to talk to Reed. I couldn’t do this, couldn’t get through this, without you.”
“Not true. I’ve already told you I think you’re the strongest person I know, but I’m happy to keep reminding you of that strength. Your bravery. You could absolutely do this on your own.” He ducked his head, pressing a kiss to her temple. Kept his lips there as he spoke. “But I need you to know you don’t have to. You never have to be alone again. I’m here. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Not unless you tell me to.”
A middle-aged Asian woman in purple scrubs and a younger white man in teal ones walked past them, both nodding at them in greeting.
Both taking in their embrace outside the restrooms on the hospital’s first floor.
Over the past few weeks, word had already spread around town that the assistant police chief and the new social worker were involved. Miles hadn’t exactly been subtle in his pursuit of her. Coffee and lunch and dinner dates. Visits to her office, just to talk.
She’d learned one very important fact about living in a small town.
There were no secrets.
Fine by her. She was tired of keeping everything to herself. Tired of pretending she didn’t have doubts and fears, hopes and dreams. Mostly, she was tired of hiding.
She couldn’t wait to live out in the open.
Couldn’t wait to do it with this man by her side.
“Ready?” he asked, watching her carefully. Willing, she knew, to go with whatever decision she made. Even if that meant patiently waiting in this hallway outside the restrooms for her to gather some of the bravery he thought she had and use it to move forward.
With a deep inhale, she nodded and stepped back.
Then immediately linked her fingers with his.
She needed the contact. His steadiness. His support.
She needed him.
They walked down the empty hallway toward the elevators. She hadn’t planned on coming here tonight. Had thought she’d take a few days before she spoke with her mother again. Tell her supervisor their relationship and why she couldn’t take her on as a client.
She couldn’t wait to live out in the open, but she’d still wanted to go back to hiding, to pretending. If only for a few more days.
But after that awful, awkward, uncomfortable conversation with Reed, hiding was no longer a possibility.
She needed to do this. Now. Tonight.
For herself.
And for her brother.
She had a brother.
She had no idea how she felt about that. But she had a good idea about Reed’s feelings.
He didn’t want a sister.
He didn’t want her.
As if sensing her thoughts, Miles gave her hand a gentle, comforting squeeze, then pushed the UP button. She leaned her head against his arm, not caring who saw them.
He gave her way too much credit. Thinking she could have done this on her own. His being by her side, his hand gripped so tightly in hers, his solid, steady presence had been what had gotten her through her conversation with Reed.
Not that there’d been much conversing. More like she’d given a Ted Talk on her history and their connection.
Reed hadn’t said a word. Not one. He’d sat there, looking so young, so stunned and heartbroken to find out that their mother had kept this secret from him.
Which had only made Tabitha more nervous.
More anxious to forge some sort of connection with this boy who was her blood.
“I messed up,” she said softly as they stepped into the elevator. “With Reed.”
“He needed to know the truth,” Miles told her after the doors shut.
She shook her head. “I said too much. Gave him too much information all at once. Did you see his expression when I told him I’d always wanted a brother?” She groaned, remembering how his face had gone so white, she’d worried he was going to pass out.
Instead, he’d lurched to his feet and walked out of the room.
“I pushed too hard,” she continued. “Went too fast.”
“Give him time. He’ll come around.”
“While that is a lovely—and hopeful—sentiment, you and I both know that people don’t always come around. They don’t behave the way we’d prefer or do what you wanted.” She paused, her voice going soft. Sad. “They don’t love you the way you deserve.”
He inclined his head as if ceding to her point. “Still, I think he might surprise you.”
“I thought you didn’t like him?”
“I don’t dislike him. I just don’t want my sister dating him. Or him spending the night anywhere near her room.”
The elevator stopped and the doors opened. They stepped out and he led her to the end of the hallway where a large window overlooked the visitor parking lot. Miles leaned against the wide sill, took hold of both her hands. “Walsh isn’t a bad kid. But he is troubled. His father’s an abusive piece of shit, but we could never get Reed or your mom to admit he abused them, and any charges we brought against him always fell through the cracks. Which meant Reed fell through the cracks.”
From the way his mouth thinned, he hated that as much as she did.
She knew from being on both sides of it that the system was far from perfect. Now, though, she saw that most people in her line of work truly did want to help. To bring change.
But there was too much bureaucracy. Too many loopholes. Too many people who needed help and not nearly enough case workers.
“I promised myself I wouldn’t ask you this,” she told him. “I never want to put either of us in the position where we feel like we must choose between our jobs or each other, and I swear, I won’t repeat anything you say to me, but I… I need to know.” She licked her lips. “Do you think Reed’s guilty? That he did that to my mother?”
“That’s not up to me to decide,” Miles hedged, going into full-on cop mode. “The D.A. will decide whether or not to go forward with pressing charges. A jury will decide his fate. I’m not even working the case. I didn’t want there to be a conflict of interest considering he was arrested in my sister’s bedroom.”
But he must have seen the disappointment on her face because he sighed and tugged her closer. Ducked his head and lowered his voice.
“If I was working the case, and if I was asked, under oath, right now, if I thought Reed was guilty, the answer would be no.”
Her eyes stung and she sniffed. Seemed her depleted well of tears had refilled over the past two hours. “I don’t think so either,” she whispered. “I didn’t before I knew my connection to Reed, though I wouldn’t have let my biases affect how I did my job. But after finding out he’s my brother, I didn’t want to believe it.”
“That’s understandable. You want to believe in the best of him. Not the worst.”
“I do,” she rasped, her throat tight. “I want so badly to believe that he’s decent and kind and would never do anything to purposely hurt someone.” She gave a helpless shrug. Exhaled. “But not because he’s my brother. Not because he’s family—not when the only family I’d ever known was the one person who’d hurt me the most.”
Her palms were damp, so she tugged free of Miles’s hold and wiped her hands down the front of her leggings. Tucked her hands into her sleeves and crossed her arms. “I want to believe it,” she continued, her tongue slick with shame, “because if it’s not true, then I’m partly to blame.”
Straightening, he frowned down at her, concerned. Confused. “How do you figure?”
“I should have gotten him away from the Walsh’s—”
“You didn’t know he was your brother until this morning.”
“I should have tried to find my mother when I aged out of the system. If I’d looked for her, if I’d found her and knew about Reed, I could have tried to get custody of him. I could have saved him.”
“Hey, hey,” he said, cupping her face in his hands, holding her still while he bent down to meet her eyes. “You were a kid yourself. One trying to get past her own trauma. And even if you had looked for her, there’s no guarantee you would have had any luck. Not when she’s successfully hidden her past and true identity for twenty years.”
Tabitha curled her hands around his forearms, the warmth of his skin, seeping into her fingers. “I could have helped him. I could have saved him.”
One side of his mouth lifted in a small, sad smile. “You can’t save everyone. You can’t fix everything.”
She shut her eyes as she realized those had been her words to him last night.
And that she’d been right.
Now so was he.
She couldn’t go back. Couldn’t save Reed from his past. Just as she couldn’t go back and change any parts of her own past, including the mistakes she’d made with the man in front of her.
She could do what she’d promised Miles she was going to do.
Move forward.
Turning her head, she kissed Miles’s hand. Nodded. “I would have fought for him,” she said unsteadily. “If I’d known about him. That he’d needed me. I would have fought for him.”
He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her as he held her, his heart steady beneath her ear. “I know. But you can fight for him now.” Leaning back, he met her eyes. “He’s going to need someone in his corner. And I can’t imagine anyone I’d rather have in mine, than you.”
This man and his simple statements that went straight to the heart of her. Making her seem so much braver, so much better than she was. Capable of all good things. Worthy of them.
Making her believe it.
“Could you have someone check on him? Not Verity,” she added quickly, not wanting him to think she was suggesting they involve his sister in this mess. At least, not more involved than she already was. “Maybe Hayden? Or Patton?”
“I’ll ask Willow to get me Hayden’s number.”
That would work. Hayden might not know where he was right now, she could reach out to him.
Hopefully, he’d respond.
“Thank you. And could you not tell them about me being Reed’s sister? I’d rather he tell his friends when he’s ready.”
Pulling out his phone, Miles nodded. Glanced up at her after unlocking the screen. “He’ll be okay. From what O’Neil told me, she has her doubts about the Walsh’s story, too. Their statements were too similar. Seemed practiced. And with what I know of them, I suspect Pete coerced his wife into lying about what happened.”
“But you can’t prove that. It’s their word against his.”
He inclined his head, a concession to her point. “O’Neil’s a rookie but she has great instincts. Some of the best I’ve seen. And she’s working with Coop, who’s like a fucking bulldog when he gets something between his teeth. They’ll do everything they can to get to the truth.”
“You and I both know that might not be enough.”
“Then I guess we’ll just have to keep fighting for him until it is.”
And those tears she’d managed to hold back? Now sliding down her face.
She wasn’t the only one in Reed’s corner.
And for the first time in her life, she wasn’t alone in hers.