Chapter 39
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Maurizio
The sight that greeted me when the door had been opened was nothing short of perfection.
Flora was dressed in a pair of black leggings and a plain black t-shirt, but she looked as good as if she had been wrapped in a designer gown and dripping in jewels, not that the latter did it for me, unlike Flora who very much did do it for me.
Today had all in all been a shit show to end all shit shows.
We’d shared a genuinely nice time at Bea’s baby shower, then returned to the cluster bomb of Sophie’s return.
What was the main problem was her turning up here, unannounced with her suitcase and a plan to move back in.
We had already agreed that I would buy her out of her half of the house in the divorce and divide all assets equally so never in my wildest dreams had I ever seen her back here, staying, living in the house, even on a temporary basis, and one way or another, this would be temporary, it had to be.
Flora moved away from the open doorway and as I watched her back getting farther away, I followed.
She moved into the kitchen and picked up a clean glass and an almost half empty bottle of wine, filled the glass then returned to me, offering me the glass before sitting on the sofa having picked up her own half-filled glass from the table.
We sat in silence at opposite ends of the sofa, both of us staring at one another, perhaps waiting for the other to speak.
She looked beautiful, as she always did, but her eyes were red, a few dark circles beneath them, clearly the result of crying.
Crying because of me, us, Sophie, assuming they weren’t one and the same.
I needed to reassure her that Sophie’s reappearance wouldn’t change things between us, although that wasn’t strictly true because a lot of things were going to change, that was inevitable, but Sophie really was no threat.
I’d already spoken to her about things, although I had done most of the listening to be fair, however, right now, I needed to be exactly what my children needed but also what Flora needed too.
I was confident I could deliver on that, not that it wouldn’t be problematic at times.
However, the biggest problem in delivering the reassurance I knew Flora needed and I wanted to give would be with information missing.
She would want to know why Sophie was here and for how long and I couldn’t answer those questions, not with complete honesty.
“Maurizio,” Flora’s voice burst the bubble of internal dialogue I was lost in, and the plea in her tone pulled me up short.
“No, it’s okay.” It wasn’t, but I wanted to make it okay and I was scared that if I let her continue she would call time on us and I wasn’t ready to let her go, not yet. Not ever, so I needed to stop her from continuing.
“Do you want to end this?”
The break in her voice was like a dagger to my heart. She was hurting. I was hurting her.
“I’m scared, Maurizio, scared of being hurt by this and losing you. I don’t know if I can pretend. That’s a lie, I can’t, and I can’t forget, but most of all I can’t watch you with someone else—”
My wine glass was quickly placed on the table and hers joined it soon after so that from my new position next to her, facing her, I could reach for her face, gently cupping it and pulling her face to mine as the first tear escaped her glistening eyes.
“You won’t, not ever.” My lips covered hers and although I didn’t fully know what I was promising with my words, I hoped my lips would.
That they would tell her that I felt the same way as her, that nothing and no one could ever make me forget or pretend that we hadn’t happened.
The idea of having to watch her with another man made my blood boil and freeze at the same time.
I recalled that night I had overheard her conversation with Ash, overheard and completely misunderstood, and that was bad enough, but now, I wasn’t going to let her go, she was mine.
The feel of her moving closer, softening against me while I deepened our kiss, taking possession of her mouth and tongue, her breathy gasps and her fingers lacing through my hair, holding me closer as we ended up in a semi-reclined position, me over and against her until her phone rang.
Pulling back, she looked gloriously flustered before pushing her hair back and snatching up her phone. “Maddie,” she told me before answering. “Hi, Mads, no, sorry, it was nothing . . . I was hoping to chat and catch up but it’s fine, all good.”
Her voice was something of a shrill and if I couldn’t already guess what she had been hoping to chat with her sister about I did now.
Me. Us and how hurt and scared she was. Scared of losing me.
She risked a glance in my direction, aware that I now knew she had called her sister who she was attempting to reassure and brush off before revealing any more details to me.
In that second it became clear to me that she would never lose me.
I was all in, mind, body, soul, heart. Fuck!
She had my heart as much as I had hers, meaning this attraction between us, the laughter, happiness, the inexplicable and indescribable sense of weightlessness and zen was down to her and my feelings for her.
Even without factoring in the totally amazing sex and shocks of electricity that shot through me every time we touched, she made my heart happy and completed me.
I loved Flora.
With a few final words between her and her sister, she hung up and returned her attention to me. “Are you okay? You look pale.”
I was in a state of shock at my own discovery so it was no wonder that I was pale, but I was okay.
Stunned, taken aback, but okay, really okay.
A smile was my immediate response. “I should be asking you that if you needed to call Maddie. I’m surprised you haven’t got Carrie, Bea and Ash here to lynch me or repack Sophie’s case. ”
I’d intended for my words to be amusing and light-hearted but the mention of my ex’s name had put paid to that judging by the frown marring Flora’s brow.
“Maurizio, what are we doing? I’m scared and you can tell me that it will be okay but how can it be if you and Sophie . . .”
The temptation to pull her close and offer her repeated words of reassurance was strong but that’s not what she needed from me.
“There is no me and Sophie, not like you mean. She is moving back in, temporarily,” I added hastily, although I had no idea how temporary it would be.
“She wants to spend time with the children and has reduced her workload to facilitate that.”
Flora opened her mouth and closed it again but presumably wondered where that left her professionally.
“Your role here is safe.” That sounded fucked up when heard aloud, so much so that I attempted to clarify.
“Your job. Being a nanny. You might be able to get some more free time if Sophie wants to spends time with the children, but your salary won’t be affected.
” This was getting worse. “Sorry, I’m trying to tell you, reassure you, but without it sounding like the us side of things is a part of your job because they are very different. ”
She nodded and offered me a reassuring smile.
“You wouldn’t believe based on this level of inarticulation that people pay handsomely for me to talk on their behalf and make an undeniable, compelling defence for them, would you?”
Her laughter confirmed that she understood what I was attempting to say, and it warmed me to hear it.
“You might be overcharging.”
“I’m worth every penny, I’ll have you know.” I was at risk of whiplash with the speed and frequency with which the mood and atmosphere was changing. This time to one that was charged with anticipation and desire as she moved closer until she was straddling me.
Her hands came to rest on my chest while mine settled on her hips, our eyes holding the other’s gaze.
“Why is Sophie really here?”
“I’ve told you. No more than that. I swear on my children’s lives that there is nothing between me and her beyond us both wanting what is best for the children.”
“Please don’t hurt me, Maurizio.”
“Tesoro mio, never.”
“Do not lie to me or make me look stupid for believing you.”
“I promise.”
A single nod was her acceptance and then, once more we kissed, our lips joining us as one which felt exactly as it should be as arms and legs moved together until we were making our way to her bedroom.