18. Chapter 17 Carter
M arch 2024
I can feel my phone vibrating in my pocket as I sign a cap for a kid who’d stopped me in the lobby of the hotel as I was checking in. I don’t swim until tomorrow and was hoping to get some relaxation in before I had to head to the pool, but I’d been spotted by a bunch of age groupers as soon as I’d stepped through the door. Their parents had held them back while I checked in, but once I had my room key in hand, it was game on.
“Thank you,” the young girl said, giving me a toothy grin as I handed her back the cap. “I can’t wait to cheer for you at the Olympics.”
I was hearing that more and more, even though we were still months away from the qualifying meet. My phone vibrated again. “Well, let’s hope I make it then.”
“We’re sure you will!” The mom grinned as she placed a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “Thank you for taking the time to sign for them.”
“Anytime,” I assured her, and it’s not a lie. Anytime a kid asks me to sign something or if they can get a picture, I do my best to accommodate them. I love hearing about their own races and goals for their life; it’s a reminder I was in their shoes once. “I’ll see you guys around.”
My phone vibrates a third time when I step into the elevator. Sighing, I fish it out of my pocket and see it’s Bryce calling. I answer it. “Hey, man, I just got to the hotel.”
“Shit,” he curses. “I forgot you have a meet this weekend. Forget I called. We can talk on Sunday.”
“You called me three times; it’s clearly something important,” I reply, leaning against the wall. “What’s going on?”
He hesitates for a minute and the doors slide open on my floor. “I need to tell you something.”
“That’s usually why people call.” I make my way down the hall, keeping my voice low, and checking the numbers on the doors as I pass.
“Look, it’s not my business, but I think you need to know this,” he rattles, not making a whole lot of sense. I stop outside my door. “Just remember, I’m looking out for you.”
I push the door open, ignoring the way my heart rate quickens at his nervous tone. “Dude, you’re freaking me out here.”
“Kat’s boyfriend picked her up from the pool.”
“Yeah, so?” I sat my bag down on the spare bed, then catapult myself on to other one, shoes be damned. “She told me she was going to Charleston this weekend for some charity event he wanted her to attend. I thought she was driving, though.”
“He decided to surprise her.”
That’s surprisingly romantic of him, but I’m still not getting Bryce’s point. “Is that all?”
“No.” He takes a deep breath. “Dude, her boyfriend is Will Jacobson.”
I sit up straighter, my blood running cold at the name. The one person I never thought I’d have to see again is suddenly back into my life in a matter of seconds. I haven’t seen him since 2016, and that was only from a distance because Bryce made sure to keep us away from each other. After that, he left the sport, and went to med school. I was supposed to be free of him.
“Carter, you there?” Bryce asks, obvious worry in his tone.
“Y-yeah.” I clear my throat. “Yeah, I’m here.”
“Look, Carter, this doesn’t have to mean anything.” In typical Bryce fashion, he jumps right into protective mode. He has a plan, and he’s going to do whatever it takes to keep me as far away from Jacobson as possible. “You never have to see him. We’re working with Kat and her stepfather, not him. I can tell Kat he’s not allowed on the premises.”
“That’s not fair to her.”
“I don’t give a shit, man,” Bryce snaps back. “My priority is keeping us all sane, and we can only do that if Jacobson stays the fuck away from us all.”
“She’s going to want to know why.” The idea of telling Kat about what happened back then was less than appealing. It was something I never wanted to rehash again. I’d handled it and moved on. “I can’t do that, Bryce.”
“She doesn’t have to know anything,” he insists. “I know you’re friends with her, Carter, but for your own good, maybe you should back off a bit.”
“What do Josie and Mia have to say about this?”
Bryce lets out a small sigh. “You know them. They’re fiercely loyal.” That’s a trait that runs deep in our circle. “They know we want nothing to do with him and they’re not fond of him either. They did say the trouble she’s been having with her relationship makes a lot more sense.”
I hadn’t even realized it until he said it, but they’re right. “Bryce, we need to tell her to leave him. He treats her like shit, and we know what he’s capable of.”
“Hey, that’s her choice to make. The girls have both told her the relationship sounds toxic, but we can’t make her leave him.” I hate it when he’s right. Besides, convincing her to leave him would mean telling her what happened, and I can’t know if it would be enough. “You gotta stay out of her relationship, man.”
Groaning, I lean back into the pillows. “How did someone like him get someone like her?”
“By being a charming, pompous asshole. “C’mon, Carter, you remember how he was able to wrap everyone else but us around his finger.”
“Ronan,” I remind him. “Ronan saw through him.”
“That’s because he’s also a charming, pompous asshole.” I laugh at the truth behind his statement. “The only difference is, he’s also a good guy. Kat will eventually see him for who he is.”
“If she doesn’t?”
“Then that’s on her, not you. Look, I know this might not be what you want to hear, but maybe some space would be good.”
There’s literally half a state between us, but I don’t say that aloud because space is a good idea. Bryce had warned me back when he brought her to the meet that I was getting too caught up in someone who was taken, and my reaction to news of who her boyfriend is just proves he’s right. “Space is probably a good idea.”
It’s going to suck, but what choice do I have?
“Don’t let her, or him, get to you this weekend,” Bryce continues. “There’s no reason this news should have a negative impact on your performance. You’ve got races to swim, focus on that.”
All swimmers have gotten good at it over the years, the way they can compartmentalize everything else going on in their lives and bring their focus to one thing. This, though, this has the power to knock me off my game. It’s not even about Kat, it’s about what happened between Will and me when we were kids and it’s not something I’ve ever been able to just get over.
Knowing he’s somewhat back in my life, existing just outside of it, makes me think back to all those years he did it on the blocks. When I couldn’t quite shake him off, no matter what I did. He was always there.
“I’m serious, Carter. Don’t let this prick get inside your head.”
“I’ll try,” I promised my friend, despite already knowing it was too late. “But I’m serious, too, Bryce. He doesn’t deserve Kat.”
Bryce concedes with a sigh. “No, he doesn’t, but we don’t get to tell her that.” There’s a slight commotion on the other end of the phone. “I gotta go. Let me know how your swims go.”
“Sure,” I promise, rubbing at my temples to push off a headache. This weekend is going to suck. “Thanks for letting me know.”
“No problem.”
The line goes dead, and I pull the phone away from my ear, staring at it for a long moment. A text bubble pops up from Katrina.
Why do you hate Will Jacobson so much?
Groaning, I toss the phone onto the other bed, needing it far away from me. Bryce is right, my focus needs to be on the meet, and I can’t let something like this get in my way. Ignoring her, at least right now, is the only answer I have.
I gnoring her doesn’t help. If anything, it distracts me through the whole rest of the meet and my swims are proof of it.
Friday night is an utter disappointment. I don’t even make the medal stand in the 400-meter IM final, which is one of the few races I’ve remained consistent in and have been improving on. The race takes concentration, and there’s a plan to it that’s more involved than simply trying not to die. Everything is off beat for me in that race. I can feel the ache in my muscles in a way I never have before and every time I try to concentrate, I just picture her with him, and I want to be sick. Even more discouraging, I come in third in the 200-meter freestyle that night. I’ve been the top finisher in that race for at least the last ten meets. It’s my other best shot at making the team.
That’s the end of the meet for me.
When I get back to my hotel on Friday night, I have a bunch of missed calls from Bryce and a couple from Mia and Josie. Bryce texts me as many times as he tries calling me, if not more. Josie and Mia give me some space by sending one text each to let me know they’re available if I want to talk. Bryce doesn’t get the hint, though, because I don’t want to talk.
I’m starting to understand why Bryce spent so many years refusing to give into his feelings for Josie, because this shit is hard. I’ve had plenty of relationships throughout my career, some that were even serious enough to talk about moving in together or marriage, but they all came naturally. There was nothing else complicating them; my partner had their career, and I had mine.
With Kat, there’s not even a relationship to talk about. The two of us are just coexisting in the same place with no real chance of meeting in the middle. She’s only here for as long as it takes to finish the remodel and then she’s going back to her life with Will fucking Jacobson and I’ll be stuck in Columbia, learning to get over someone I never had a chance of having.
This is why getting too close to someone is dangerous. Especially when you could see your future with them playing out. Which is exactly why Bryce never let Josie in.
I shouldn’t have let her in.